Chapter 143
Chapter 143
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 143
Chapter Title: Man of Good Fortune V
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Shin Noah
-Kyaeeeeek!
No Do-ha’s mutter hadn’t even finished echoing when a scream erupted from the bunker.
My comrades pointed at me with trembling fingers, their faces twisted in horror as if they were VIP cultists witnessing the descent of Cthulhu in real time.
-The Undertaker! It’s the Undertaker!
-The monster from Romance of the Three Kingdoms has appeared!
-So repulsive...! I hate it so much! Just watching makes me want to grab your earlobes and rip them off...!
My comrades wailed endlessly.
For reference, I had stacked water bottles near the bunker entrance just for this moment. Mesmerized, they grabbed the bottles and hurled them at me one after another.
Amid the warm barrage of water jugs flying from all directions, only I wore a gentle smile.
‘Right on plan.’
It was the most natural outcome.
What effect had the ‘Savior’ monster originally produced? It had maxed out—no, shattered the limits of—affinity toward me.
And the ‘Hated Potion’ imprinted a reversal formula onto the imbiber’s affinity.
The affinity that the ‘Savior’ had pushed to the plus extreme was flipped straight to the minus extreme!
In other words...
‘Right here, right now, my misfortune has descended.’
To think anew, I cherished my comrades.
For such adorable kids to hate me this much.
It was a tragedy as heartbreaking as a grandfather hearing his grandkids yell, “Grandpa’s hands smell!”
-Bro! No, Undertaker! Just die, please!
-To think I called a guy like that ‘bro.’ My past self makes me cringe.
-To be precise, Ha-yul, you never called me that. You can’t talk. Even now, you’re just using a puppet to speak.
-I’ve hated that illegal security guard from way back!
-It’s horrifying.
Just seeing Dang Seo-rin’s gaze filled with utter disgust stabbed at my heart like a needle combo stitching away—prick prick prick prick.
“Aah.”
Behold, the total luck conservation law.
This is the footwork of a seasoned regressor. This is how you wield monsters.
No matter how much you play Santa Claus handing out misfortune to me, if I preemptively harvest a massive misfortune myself beforehand, you’re just another Finn who lost his job in the post-coronavirus era.
What can a mere monster do when a regressor decides to misfortune himself?
World destruction? Hmm. Is that really more miserable than a single glare of true contempt from Dang Seo-rin?
Limb amputation? Well. Right now, the Saintess is alternating ‘pause’ and ‘play’ buttons on time itself, swinging a hand axe at my neck.
Incurable disease? Laughable. Cheon Yo-hwa’s pulling hourglasses collected from Baekhwa Girls’ High School ghosts out of the trunk one by one, trying to unseal them... No, that one’s actually pretty dangerous.
I rushed over and knocked Cheon Yo-hwa out cold.
As the distance between us shrank in an instant, my former comrades convulsed even harder.
-Die! Die! Please, just dieeee!
-You failure who couldn’t save the world hundreds of times! Incompetent! People worldwide die hundreds of times because of you! Execute him!
To understand their reaction, imagine a 2-meter cockroach approaching.
Right now, in others’ eyes, I, the Undertaker, was the reverse-Go Yo-ri.
The polar opposite of a devil who wins affection no matter what. In other words, an angel who inspires absolute revulsion no matter what had descended here.
Heaven and earth, I reign supreme.
‘So this... is the view that pink entity usually looks down on from above.’
Pathetic and insignificant.
“Dok-seo. You watching closely?”
“Yeah! It’s so repulsive that you called me by name, but it’s fine! I still recognize this is a monster. But can I break just one of your fingers?”
“That’d be tough. That’s why I didn’t raise my comrades too strongly this time.”
“As expected of you, Uncle! My protagonist! So respectable! So repulsive! So, mind holding your breath now, Uncle? Just sharing the same air as you makes this space feel nightmarish.”
“Tut tut. Don’t let a monster bewitch you. Don’t get swept up in emotions—witness the truth. You’re the one fated to save the world.”
“Fuck, a regressor and a book-possessed girl acting like master and disciple, shitting and ranting up a storm...”
No Do-ha fiddled with her smartphone and cursed.
Even as the National Highway Management Corps headquarters turned into a total mess, only No Do-ha remained the same as always.
Her attitude toward others—especially me—didn’t change a bit, whether affinity flipped or not. It proved her true character. She treated others, especially me, like a rat’s distant cousin anytime, anywhere.
“Haa...”
Thud. No Do-ha set her phone down.
Then she flung the thick stack of documents piled on the table.
The yellowed papers (the Corps Leader used recycled paper since resources were scarce at the end of the era) fluttered everywhere.
“How long are you gonna show off your thick piss stream here? Let’s go...”
“Huh? Go where?”
“No clue, shit. The Saintess just group-texted all the Awakeners a quest. Says the Undertaker’s corrupted and massacring humans indiscriminately, so all Awakeners unite and eliminate him. You’re the only one not on the chat, you total outcast...”
“Oh.”
“SG Net’s blowing up with notices too. [Nameless Constellation], [Librarian of the Grand Library], [Operator of All Phenomena Playground], [Dawn Star of the Return], [Collector of All Monsters], and more... Heh. United in killing intent, they’re forming a national alliance just to beat down you...”
Looking where No Do-ha pointed, at the tail end of the procession, Seo-gyu and Sim A-ryeon were furiously tapping away on their smartphones.
The Saintess, realizing physical attacks wouldn’t work on me, had called for reinforcements. Her eyes closed, hands clasped—it was the exact pose for focusing on [Telepathy].
“This world sucks so much I don’t wanna work. So let’s hurry up and go...”
“Yeah.”
“I’m quitting, you fucker.”
I made the exact face Liu Bei must have when Zhuge Liang said he was tired of work and wanted to retire to farm. What do you mean, the country falls without you?
“Not my problem? Go ahead and die then... Hey, Director Yoo Ji-won.”
“Huh? Yes?”
“You’re the next National Highway Management Corps Leader.”
What.
“No handover, so figure it out yourself. If you’re clueless, crack open vault 36 and check the notebook. Any halfwit can manage it. And don’t you dare look for me wherever I go...”
“Aah! Thank you! Your Excellency!”
No way.
I was stunned. Yoo Ji-won had finally been promoted to Corps Leader!
If this story’s protagonist were Yoo Ji-won instead of me, it’d be the epic tale of a convenience store clerk joining Korea’s top guild, climbing from grunt to section chief to director, then getting tapped as a government expert, and finally taking office as president in the 590th cycle.
True story? True story.
While I shuddered at the psychopath’s success myth, No Do-ha was stuffing something into her trunk.
Aside from a few clothes, there wasn’t much.
No Do-ha was always ready to ditch her job. She kept personal items and daily necessities in the trunk.
Unlike office workers who just think about quitting, she actually submitted her resignation.
No Do-ha grabbed the trunk handle and gave me a pathetic look.
“What’re you doing...? Let’s go.”
“Mm.”
“You’ve got that ‘where to?’ look... Well. Gotta get off the peninsula first. Need to slip out of that Saintess’s [Clairvoyance] drone range to shake the pursuers...”
I couldn’t reply right away.
It was somewhat unexpected.
I’d assumed even No Do-ha would be affected by the ‘Hated Potion’ and curse me out.
But she was fine. Too fine, even.
‘Her affinity for me wasn’t high to begin with, so flipping it makes no difference?’
Or maybe she spewed abuse so routinely that I couldn’t tell.
Either way, unclear.
This was the first time in the 590th cycle I’d taken the Hated Potion.
My standard monster countermeasures relied on figuring out exploits over regressions. I needed more research on the Hated Potion.
For that, No Do-ha—seemingly immune to its effects—was a valuable sample.
“Not going? Fine by me. I’ll hole up on some remote island...”
“No, wait. Let’s go together. Hawaii’s too far—how about Saipan or Guam?”
“Saipan? Hmm...”
“Yeah. If something happens on the peninsula, I can hop across the sea alone to check and come back.”
“Resort spot... Every dump in this world looks the same, but at least it’ll lift the mood. Fine, whatever...”
“Dok-seo. You coming too?”
O Dok-seo beamed.
“No way! Drown with the tide, Uncle! Oh, but I wanna see the protagonist die, so if you’d kindly drop dead right in front of me, that’d be great!”
Sure enough, I was unfortunate.
8
The presidential resignation and Saipan trip were decided on the spot.
If No Do-ha were American, Air Force One would’ve swooped in to kindly escort the freshly resigned ex-president. Sadly, the USA collapsed before accepting Korea as its 51st state.
We had to make our own way to Saipan.
The resignation was so historic that the reporters chasing us formed a grand parade.
-It’s the Undertaker! He’s escaping!
-Comrade Secretary-General’s ideological betrayal shakes me to the core! Punishing the traitor is the way to preserve ideological purity...! We’ve tearfully prepared the guillotine!
-Hold fire! He’s taken the National Highway Management Corps Leader hostage!
-What?
-That vile terrorist bastard! Release the Corps Leader!
Not an easy escape for me either.
First, the Sword Marquis blocked my path. True to the warrior who’d sparred 101 exchanges with me since year one, he dragged it out past 200 now.
-Undertaker! How did you stray from the righteous path into the demonic ways! Watching a former friend fall to the dark arts pains me like no other!
“To be factual, in this cycle, the closest thing to demonic ways is you...”
While the Sword Marquis stalled, other Awakeners didn’t play around. They actively caused chaos.
“A~ Ah~ Aaaah~.”
First, Dang Seo-rin started singing. Biggest problem—that’s why I bolted before the 5th melody emerged.
“Miss me? Senpai?”
And Cheon Yo-hwa finally unleashed Cheon Yo-hwa. The Mugeon possessing her body sprayed unique barriers around Busan.
Oh, for reference, distinguish them by how they address me. Yo-hwa calls me ‘teacher,’ but Mugeon calls me ‘senpai.’
[Die.]
Then Ha-yul’s puppet threads targeted my neck from all sides.
The Korean Peninsula, especially Busan, was thick with Lee Ha-yul’s spiderwebs. Set up to protect against monster invasions by land or sea.
If it blocked external threats, it blocked internal escapes too.
The Saintess’s [Clairvoyance] and [Telepathy] backed up the Awakeners constantly.
“Whew.”
Impressive, honestly, the forces I’d nurtured on the peninsula.
If Sim A-ryeon—who’d leveled up to northern Saintess via Zero Requiem—were there, I might’ve died. Lucky the aliens built that Great Wall this cycle.
Sword Marquis’s strikes, Dang Seo-rin’s song, Cheon Yo-hwa’s barriers, Lee Ha-yul’s 17-way spiderwebs, Saintess backup—even I couldn’t escape unscathed.
In the end, I sacrificed my left foot to flee. My lower body was now 50% Ha-yul version.
I didn’t mind. I had the world’s strongest guardian knight as company, and even this minor ‘misfortune’ would help me.
“No way you actually broke through that...? You really are a mad bastard...”
No Do-ha, piggybacked on my back, muttered in disbelief.
Amid all that chaos, not a scratch on her.
“If I’d had a bit more leeway, I’d have used the adjudication monster, but no choice. We’ll cross the sea straight to Saipan like this.”
“Water’s splashing nonstop anyway. Can’t you dodge the waves a little...?”
“The waves were just born, and I’ve passed ten thousand years—young waves should dodge me.”
“Haa...”
Frontline breakthrough successful.
The vast ocean stretched ahead for a while.
I boarded the Savoia S-21 seaplane I’d prepositioned at Tsushima. The one I’d used against Cheon Yo-hwa and Mugeon.
Shortly after takeoff, we landed in Saipan, once famed as a resort paradise.
-Ukki-gik.
Somewhere, mixed with the waves, came what sounded like monkey laughter.