Chapter 4: Now Even a Dick-Sized Dick Villain Wants to Fuck Me
I checked the terminal and accelerated toward the coordinates where the villain had appeared.
A B-grade was something a single magical girl could handle on her own.
I could just barely make it to my reserved movie in time.
“Serendipity-nim, the villain should come into view soon!”
With Dorri materializing in midair, I sliced through the wind as I gained altitude.
“Yeah, gotta finish this quick, so I'll go hard right from the start.”
“Yep!”
The moment I reached the coordinates, a grotesque villain jumped into sight.
A woman with a short bob haircut, but dozens of long, razor-sharp steel spines protruded from her back like a hedgehog, clanging with an eerie metallic screech.
“What the hell is that? A hedgehog?”
“According to the report from HQ, those are steel spines. She uses them for ranged attacks, or rips them out for close combat.”
The instant our eyes met, she slammed her hand to the ground and hunched her back dramatically.
With a sharp whoosh, dozens of steel spines hurtled toward me like arrows. But it was all within my expectations.
I kicked off the air like it was solid ground, twisting my trajectory mid-flight.
Ignoring gravity entirely, I sky-walked at breakneck speed, dodging the spine storm with ease.
“Serendipity-nim, shall we begin right away?”
“Let's do it.”
I drew a single card, and the Fate's Wheel within it spun to life with a deafening whirl.
“Luck Strike probability: 90%!”
Click. I checked where the wheel had stopped.
It had landed perfectly on the golden segment. Smiling, I gathered my mana.
“Upright position. Success!”
“Gotta end this fast, so fist incoming.”
“Yep!”
I poured every ounce of mana into my right fist, golden waves of power rippling up my arm.
I kicked the sky once more and dove straight down at the villain like a living cannonball.
“Hup!”
Just before impact, she shouted and curled her spines into a protective ball around herself.
It was like a fortress of solid steel—but against my Luck Strike-infused fist, it might as well have been tissue paper.
-KABOOM!
The mana burst collided with the spines in a roar that shredded my eardrums.
The shockwave radiated outward, spiderwebbing cracks across the ground as her feet sank deep into the earth.
“Hyap!”
I poured in even more mana with a shout, driving it home.
“Grr... This kind of attack... GRRAAHH!”
She couldn't hold; the spines shattered into fragments, and she went flying.
Her body rocketed backward, smashing through the outer wall of a nearby building and vanishing into the deep shadows within.
“Serendipity-nim, it's a confirmed abandoned building.”
“Then I can go nuts inside, right?”
“Even so... please keep the rampage moderate. No collateral damage!”
“Call the cleanup crew ahead of time. I'll wrap this bitch up in the meantime.”
“Yep! Understood.”
I kicked off the ground and launched myself into the dusty haze of the building's interior.
I figured she'd be out of commission for sure.
But there were only shattered pillars and chunks of concrete scattered around—no sign of her.
“Where the hell did it go?”
I moved slowly through the deadly silence, scanning every shadow.
Then, a bone-chilling wave of killing intent hit me from behind, the air itself shifting.
-SCHING!
“Guh...!”
I twisted reflexively and rolled across the floor.
In that split second, a wicked steel spine sliced mercilessly through the spot where I'd stood.
It was by a hair's breadth; the glancing blow tore only the hem of my skirt.
“Sharp instincts, magical girl.”
She licked her lips and stepped out of the darkness.
She twirled the spine in her hand like a toy, but her legs trembled visibly.
Desperate, thrashing movements that proved my earlier hit had been fatal.
“A graze would've dropped you with my poison.”
“Oh, how thoughtful. Telling me straight-up about the poison.”
“Once is enough. One good slice, and I can fuck you silly.”
“Is fucking me all you villains ever think about? Why's every damn one of you like this?”
She raised her spine again, settling into position.
Prelude to a barrage.
Before the spines could fly, I stepped forward to close the gap and snap her neck for good.
But—
-GRRRIP!
The old building's floor erupted suddenly, clamping my leg in a vise-like grip.
Of all the shitty timing, my foot got trapped at the worst possible moment.
“Of all the goddamn times...!”
“Strutting around reeking of bitch in heat with those milk dispensers? Gotta fuck ya!”
With her maniacal scream, dozens of steel spines rained down like a monsoon.
No dodging this—only one option.
“Barrier!”
A mana shield deployed in the air.
I wasn't just about Luck Strike. That only amps my hits harder; I could still do basic mana attacks and defenses.
“Grr...! Fucking machine-gunning me...!”
A translucent hexagonal mana barrier unfurled, spines sparking off it and ricocheting away.
The impacts jolted up my arms, but I gritted my teeth and held firm.
Fierce for a B-grade's dying spasm, but not enough to breach my wall.
As I defended and struggled to free my foot, an ominous sound reached my ears.
-Tick!
The barrier cracking—from the edge.
Spreading fast into fractures.
And then.
-SHATTER!
The barrier exploded in a shower of shards.
No stopping the remaining spines—I had to tank them with my body.
“KYAAHH!”
Dozens raked across my arms, legs, torso, face at blinding speed, carving deep gashes.
I tried staggering up for a wild punch, but a pounding headache hit, and my body wouldn't obey.
“Grr...! M-my body...”
“Told you. Even a nick paralyzes you.”
I lost balance and crumpled; she approached with a sleazy grin.
Right up to me, a rustling sound.
Her pants slid down her legs, dick flopping out.
But—
“Pfft!”
“Why're you laughing?”
“Holy shit, your dick's literally dick-sized.”
“What?!”
“Shove that in, and I wouldn't even notice.”
The sight hit me, and I burst out laughing.
It wasn't tiny in absolute terms.
Just looked puny compared to the freakishly massive, arm-thick monster dicks on every other villain.
Next to those, this average joe was small potatoes.
“You little bitch... Sex is about skill, you know that?”
She stepped closer, grabbed my hair, and yanked my head up.
“Handy handle for easy pounding.”
“You know, aren't you treating magical girls like your personal dick garages?”
“What?”
“Heal.”
A soft glow enveloped me, mending every wound.
The body-breaking poison fully neutralized.
“Wh-what... why're the wounds...?”
I slammed my clenched fist into her face with everything I had.
“My hair ain't your fucking handle, you cunt!”
-KABOOM!
“And... you think King Sejong invented Hangul to describe that pathetic prick, you fuck?!”
-KABOOM!
Two full-power punches to the face in a row, and she went limp without so much as a twitch.
“Whew... the fuck you waving that sad dick around for.”
Even knocked out cold, her dick stood rigid, twitching desperately.
Those insults had pissed me off good, so I stomped down on it with my heel.
-BLUURGH! Spurt!
Cum erupted suddenly, drenching my face and clothes.
“...”
I was absolutely glazed in the fucker's jizz, the foul stench hitting me with every breath.
“Haha... hahaha...”
I clenched my fist again.
“You rabbit-fuck... you're done for today...”
“Serendipity.”
As I reared back with all my mana for the finisher, a familiar voice cut in.
Park Ye-na unnie was walking toward me.
“Raphtel.”
Ye-na unnie's moniker was Raphtel.
She could write whatever story she wanted in her magic book and warp reality to match.
“Ran into the cleanup team on my way back from a villain dispatch. Head back now.”
“Raphtel, can't you see what this asshole did? My face and clothes are covered in cum...”
“You have a promise, remember?”
She brought up the promise, snapping me out of my rage-blind haze with the forgotten memory.
“Oh, right! Then I'll get going.”
“Yeah. Happy birthday, Serendipity.”
A birthday wish while glazed in cum.
Super awkward vibe, but thanks were in order.
“Yes, Raphtel. Thank you.”
Every villain fight, I lose it like this—not just once or twice.
I try to stay cool and tactical, but snap into savage mode, hellbent on beating them half to death.
Probably my cursed constitution's fault.
I pulled out my tarot card to untransform when a heavy night-flower scent hit me.
“Fuck, wanna straight-up kill her.”
Clothes would clean up on untransform, no biggie.
But face? That shit stuck.
“Now I gotta go back to HQ to wash up. What time is it?”
Checked: 15 minutes to movie start.
Taxi from HQ to the theater? Also 15.
“Argh, fucking insane! Villains always twist my life into knots.”