A Taste of True Madness
Me, Muriel, Weller, and Tsarkhella.
Arranged in a tense square, we spent a long moment silently sizing one another up.
"...First off."
Naturally, I was the first to break the silence.
"Let's get one thing straight. I have no intention of marrying you, Tsarkhella."
Tsarkhella, sitting with her arms folded and a severe expression carved into her features, merely rolled her eyes toward me without moving her neck.
The motion was unnervingly unnatural, sending a cold shiver creeping up the base of my skull.
"Why?"
"What do you mean, why...?"
"Because that body is Stanasila Alzen, and I was once Stanasila Lindel? Because in the end, it's incest?"
"...Well, yeah. Obviously."
"That's not enough."
"Not enough?"
"I'm saying it's not a good enough reason to reject me. An excuse that flimsy isn't going to make me back down."
Before I knew it, she had turned her head to face me head-on. Her expression burned with an unbridled, ferocious craving.
It looked less like human desire and more like a starving predator baring its fangs, dripping drool on the verge of famine. Goosebumps erupted along my arms.
"...I told you already. You're not my type."
"Still not enough."
"...How many times do I have to tell you I don't want to get married?"
"Not enough. Nowhere near enough."
"...Haah."
Pushed this far by her sheer pigheadedness, my temper flared, and I bared my own teeth in exasperation.
"Cut the crap, Tsarkhella. The only reason I'm humoring your ridiculous demands and sticking around this godforsaken tribe is just to make things easier on myself."
Leaning in close, I stared straight into her eyes and ground out each word.
"If I really felt like it, I could just walk out of this dump right now and tear through the Wasteland on my own. Sure, it'd take a while, but eventually I'd track down whatever tribe allied itself with the demons."
"...Not enough."
"Oh, is that so? Then maybe I really should—"
"It seems you still don't grasp what this means."
"...What?"
Her eyes—viscous, heavy, yet glowing with the blistering, radiant heat of molten iron—trailed a crimson smear through the air as she shifted.
"I told you that I've fallen for you. I told you that I will marry you. Have you ever stopped to consider what that actually means to a barbarian warrior?"
"What the hell does that even...?"
"It means I am dedicating everything I possess—body, mind, and soul—entirely to you. And at the same time, it means I will mobilize every single thing at my disposal to make you mine."
"......"
"In the face of my resolve, babbling about status, taboos, or differences in strength won't serve as the slightest obstacle."
"Hah..."
Perhaps I really had taken her confession too lightly.
And maybe, on some subconscious level, I had been treating her as Stanasila Lindel instead of Tsarkhella.
Barbarian warriors were, at their core, pure romantics.
They pursued supreme strength throughout their lives, loved with every fiber of their being, and gave their very existence to raise the next generation. Even if it seemed entirely selfish and self-serving to outsiders, they lived that way so they could die without an ounce of regret.
...I knew that was their 'lore,' of course, but reading about it in game text and experiencing it firsthand were two entirely different beasts.
"Right... I finally get it now. You really are a barbarian warrior through and through."
"Yes. It seems you finally understand. So give up."
"......"
I let out a heavy sigh.
"Sorry, but I can't do that, Tsarkhella. I've got my own circumstances."
"......"
"I have a long road ahead of me. I don't have the luxury to settle down and marry anyone. Besides... I don't want to have kids. And I'm pretty sure you'll agree with me on this one."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Any child born from this wouldn't be Kang Han-gil's child. It would be Stanasila Alzen's."
"...!"
Evidently, that was an angle she hadn't considered. Her eyes went wide.
"That... that... I see. Is that really how it works?"
"Yeah. That's how it works. You wouldn't want that either, would you?"
"...True. Even for me, that's... rather repulsive."
"Phew..."
Thank god.
Crazy as she was, at least she hadn't completely lost her mind.
A sigh of profound relief slipped past my lips, thinking we could finally make some sensible progress.
"Right, so let's drop the whole marriage nonsense and focus on this rogue tribe problem—"
"No, wait a minute."
"...What now?"
She cut me off just as I was clawing my way toward a subject change, plunging into deep thought. Irritation surged in my chest.
Paying no mind to my scowl, she tilted her head and leveled a questioning gaze at me.
"Is that... actually certain? Kang Han-gil is residing in that body, so why should having a child produce Stanasila Alzen's offspring?"
"Because that's common sense! Why the hell are you even questioning it? Sure, the soul swapped out, but the physical flesh is still his, so obviously—"
"In other words, you don't actually know for sure either, do you? You've never verified it."
"How the hell could I verify that, you lunatic?! What, should I pop out a kid just to run an experiment?!"
"Hmm... Weller. What do you think?"
Completely ignoring my outburst, Tsarkhella abruptly turned toward Weller to ask for her input.
Weller, who had remained silent all this time, was wearing a remarkably grim expression, lost in contemplation.
"...I don't... know."
"What?!"
I stared at Weller in utter disbelief.
I mean, come on—no matter how primitive scientific development might be in this medieval fantasy land, how could anyone not know that you reap what you sow? Genetics don't just vanish into thin air!
"What's with that look? Lower your eyes. My 'I don't know' is the conclusion of an inquiry far deeper and more elevated than anything your primitive brain could fathom."
"Does that really require high-level inquiry?! Just think about it simply! Obviously the child follows the bloodline of the physical vessel!"
"And because that isn't certain, I said I don't know, you idiotic, unidentified interloper."
"......"
"Oh dear, did that strike a bit of a nerve? Don't expect an apology."
While Tsarkhella stared at her as if thinking, Is this woman a demon?, Weller flashed a sly, venomous grin and continued.
"The correlation between the flesh and the soul—and indeed, the very definitions of body and spirit—remain completely unmapped and undefined. The Goddess Religion recently proclaimed that the vessel of the flesh is merely an anchor, while the soul constitutes the true identity of the physical body... though whether that holds absolute truth is anyone's guess. They seem to have empirical grounds for it, but they refuse to disclose their findings..."
"......"
I had a pretty good idea what that was about.
The Church was almost certainly basing that proclamation on Cardinal Perdio Hadim's resurrection.
Hearing Weller's breakdown made me realize that my perception and way of thinking were still trapped inside the rigid logic of my past life.
...Even so, accepting that reality was another matter entirely.
"...No, no, no. Even if that's true, this is absurd. What, you're saying the body actually reshapes itself just because the soul changed?"
"Probably not to that extent. Most likely."
"See?!"
"However, human cognition and will routinely exert influence over physical laws and tangible phenomena. Magic, holy arts, and shamanic rituals are living proof of that. Therefore, it is indisputable that the soul exerts some manner of influence upon the flesh."
"......"
Throwing the bizarre logic of an alien universe at me was all well and good, but that didn't mean my brain was ready to swallow it.
My thoughts spun in chaotic circles for a moment before I vigorously shook my head.
"In the end, that just means nobody knows! So we're right back where we started!"
"Well... as things stand, yes. Until you actually father a child, it is impossible to determine whose progeny it would truly be."
"What kind of... is this Schrödinger's bastard?!"
"Schrödinger? Who is that?"
"Never mind... forget it."
I dragged a hand down my face, blowing out a long, ragged breath to cool my simmering head, before turning back to Tsarkhella.
"Anyway, you get it now, right? It's not like you want to gamble on a child."
"Ssssp... huuuuh..."
Tsarkhella drew in a deep, conflicted breath, her brow furrowed in agonizing contemplation, before giving a reluctant nod.
"You're... right. Yes. That is definitely something I'll just have to endure."
"Phew..."
"Haaah..."
Weller and I exhaled identical sighs of relief at the exact same moment.
"...Still, isn't that an entirely separate matter from the wedding itself?"
"Are you seriously never going to drop this?!"
"Sister! Pull yourself together!"
"Pull myself together?! For what?! Even if we put off having children until later, we can still hold the wedding! All we have to do is not have sex! Or hell, even if we do have sex, you can just pull out, can't you?!"
Roaring in sheer frenzy, Tsarkhella glared at me like a beast sizing up its prey.
"Eep...?!"
It was a brand of mortal peril fundamentally different from any threat to my life I had ever faced before. Alarm bells wailed frantically in my head.
The sound that tore from my throat was a high-pitched shriek, resembling nothing so much as a tragic maiden defending her virtue.
"C-Calm down, Tsarkhella! Just give it up quietly—"
"I'm never giving up! Not a chance! Who gives a damn about a stupid child?! We just won't have one, and that's that!"
Snapping the final threads of her tenuous sanity, Tsarkhella lunged with blinding speed, wrapping both arms around my neck.
"Mmph?! Mmm-mmmph?!"
What followed was an overwhelmingly suffocating kiss.
"W-What the—?! Sister, have you lost your mind?! Get off him! Get off!"
A horrified Weller grabbed Tsarkhella and tried to pry her loose, but her physical strength was nowhere near enough to budge a barbarian master. Tsarkhella remained rooted like iron.
"Mmph, nnngh...! You... crazy..."
The moment I tried to spit curses through her relentless assault, her tongue forced its way past my lips.
Wet, scorching, and ruthlessly slick, it barged in like an unstoppable battering ram, tangling with mine and sweeping across every inch of my mouth.
"Nn-chup! Haa-mmph, slurrrp...!"
"Stop it! Sister! Hey! You crazy bitchhhhh!"
Listening to Weller's frantic shrieks, I desperately flailed one arm toward Muriel, who had been watching the entire spectacle with deep fascination.
"Mm... allow me to assist."
Looking vaguely disappointed that the show had to end, Muriel offered a slow nod, glided forward, and seized Tsarkhella's torso.
SHPAAANG!
In that instant, Tsarkhella's heel whipped out like a warhorse's lethal buck.
"Good grief. It really is like watching a wild beast."
Slipping past the strike with ghostly, frictionless footwork, Muriel hoisted Tsarkhella's entire body straight into the air.
"Mmmph—?!"
Tsarkhella strained with all her might to resist, but it was futile.
Her baseline parameters were monstrous even compared to an ordinary Master, but they were no match for Muriel, who had consumed both Permanent Flesh and the World Tree's Fruit.
POP!
With a wet, airtight sound like a rubber stopper being wrenched from a bottle, a sharp, stinging pain tore across my lips.
"......"
Thud.
Overwhelmed by the throbbing pain, I collapsed backward in a daze.
And only then did the terrifying reality sink into my bones with crystalline clarity.
Ah. If I don't fight back with everything I've got... I'm really, truly going to get eaten alive.
A profound shudder racked my body at the sheer, unadulterated madness of that woman.