Persuasion
Standing before me, Leona took several deep breaths before offering a greeting in a clear, ringing voice.
"I-it is an honor to meet you! Lord Stanasila Alzen! My name is Leona, younger sister to Rebecca!"
Contrary to her frail impression, her voice was remarkably spirited, her posture crisp and disciplined. To top it off, she flashed a practiced, businesslike smile.
Seeing such a rigid, professional demeanor on someone with such a youthful appearance coaxed a dry chuckle from my lips. Shared bloodline or not, she certainly took after Rebecca in that regard.
"Right. Nice to meet you. I don't really plan on interfering with your life, so make yourself at home. Let someone know if anything's uncomfortable."
"Y-yes, sir!"
"Rebecca. Go show her to her room or something."
When I waved my hand dismissively, Rebecca offered a wry smile, bowed her head, and led the bewildered Leona out of the room.
"Huh...? Sis, is that it? But I've only just introduced myself...?"
"Shh. That's just how he is, so keep it in mind. It doesn't mean he's indifferent to you."
I took a swig of liquor while watching their retreating backs as the door clicked shut behind them.
"...Ahem."
Once the atmosphere from that brief encounter cleared, Muriel spoke up carefully.
"Lord Alzen. Today, thirty visitors are scheduled to call upon you."
"...What? Muriel. Did I just mishear you? Thirty what?"
"Thirty visitors are scheduled to call upon you."
"......"
I lit a hand-rolled cigarette, took a deep drag, and shot to my feet before I had even exhaled the smoke.
"That damned father of mine is pulling stunts again. Maybe I should go take a shit right on his desk so he never tries this again—urgh!?"
Muriel smoothly hooked her arms around mine and guided me back onto the sofa. I glared straight at her.
"Let go before I actually lose my temper, Muriel. Don't cross the line."
"Lord Alzen. Don't you find it tedious to remain cooped up in your room all day?"
"Not in the slightest."
"Well, I find it tedious."
"The hell does that have to do with me?"
"Furthermore, I worry about you, Lord Alzen."
"......"
"Whenever I see you buried beneath alcohol and tobacco, I am overcome with an anxiety I can hardly bear. Unbidden, terrible thoughts creep in—wondering if, like a spent candle, your light might suddenly flicker and vanish."
"*Haa*... Muriel. Whatever you might think, I have no intention of dealing with bothersome, tedious nonsense."
"Rather than fighting it, why not simply accept it? It isn't particularly difficult. If you converse with all kinds of people, time might pass by that much faster."
Fidget, fidget.
As if aware she was overstepping her bounds, her fingers twitched nervously. Yet she leaned her weight into the arm she was hugging, gazing up at me with pleading eyes.
"...*Phew*."
Exhaling another cloud of smoke, I slumped back against the sofa.
I honestly didn't understand why everyone kept demanding things from me. I wasn't Stanasila Alzen, nor did I care about anything beyond reaching the ending. Above all, unless it had something to do with that ending, I had zero desire to indulge in what one might call 'life' using this borrowed shell. Why the hell should I live someone else's life in their stead?
"...Fine. Do whatever you want."
Still, bickering like this was just as bothersome and exhausting. Seized by a hollow lethargy and sheer boredom, I went completely limp, waving a dismissive hand with a resigned expression.
"Lord Alzen..."
A deeper worry and concern shadowed Muriel's face as she watched me, but I deliberately averted my gaze. Forming unnecessary attachments was a waste of effort. Muriel was undeniably useful, so maintaining a certain level of rapport made practical sense, but I wanted nothing beyond that.
"...Come to think of it, maybe this is my own fault."
"Lord Alzen...?"
"I've been scurrying around doing useless shit lately, haven't I?"
Bonding with Vivian, clearing dungeons, the raid to subjugate the Demon King... Somewhere along the way, I had forgotten my own standing and put a little too much genuine effort into it all. I had ended up treating the people around me naturally, like fellow human beings.
"Did everyone start approaching so easily because of that attitude? Because I didn't push them away? If that's the case..."
"Lord Alzen? What are you...! No! That isn't it! Lord Alzen!"
The moment I looked down at her with hollow, emotionless eyes, the usually unflappable maid choked on her breath, her pupils trembling violently.
"Muriel. From this moment on, I forbid all physical contact."
I moved to shove away the arm clinging to mine, but she shook her head in sheer desperation.
"I refuse."
"It's an order. If you won't listen, I'll take it up with my father. If necessary, I can have my Shadow Knight replaced—*mmph*!?"
My eyes snapped wide, my entire body locking up.
Closing the distance until our noses brushed, she had smashed her lips directly against mine.
From the look of it, she seemed just as shocked by her own brazen actions, her eyes blown wide and her body rigid.
"*Mmph*... *mgh*!?"
I struggled with every ounce of strength I had, but the moment she came to her senses, she coiled her arms and legs around me like a serpent. Pinning me down so thoroughly that I couldn't twitch a muscle, she tilted her head and descended upon my mouth, practically devouring me from above.
"*Mmph*..."
Knowing it was impossible to overpower her raw physical might, I surrendered and let my body go slack. Taking that as an invitation, she slipped her tongue inside.
"*Churp*, *slurp*..."
From then on, it was nothing short of a one-sided ravaging.
Though clumsy and hesitant at first, she quickly caught on, intertwining and rubbing our tongues together before thoroughly sweeping the roof of my mouth and the insides of my cheeks, flooding my senses with her hot breath and saliva.
"*Mmh*, *mmph*...!"
Every time our mucous membranes rubbed together with the intensity of mating serpents, an irresistible jolt of electricity rang through my brain, making my body twitch and shudder.
"*Haa*, *haa*... Lord Alzen..."
How many minutes had slipped by?
Finally bringing the one-sided kiss to an end, she looked down at me with flushed cheeks.
"...Satisfied?"
"......"
Confronted with my completely unfazed attitude, her face twisted in a rare, raw display of emotion.
"...I am sorry. I... this is the only way I know. The only means I have to hold onto you, Lord Alzen..."
"......"
I was twisted enough myself, but her words drove home just how broken she was too. Then again, having endured a horrifying childhood simply to become a Shadow Knight, it would have been weirder if she were normal.
"Am I truly... incapable of finding a place in your heart? Can I not hold onto you?"
"That's not the issue. The one you just talked to and kissed was 'Stanasila Alzen'."
"...I cannot understand."
"I figured you wouldn't."
"No. That is not what I mean. I already know you are not Stanasila Alzen."
"...What?"
I stared at her, my eyes widening slightly. Yet she simply reached out with a calm, steady expression and stroked my cheek.
"The one I am facing is not Stanasila Alzen, but you. That is why I cannot understand. Why must you deny yourself and everything around you to such an extreme?"
"...Ha."
I had no idea how she had figured out my identity, but it wasn't an insurmountable crisis. Calculating the fallout in my head, a cold smile tugged at my lips.
"So what now? Are you going to report this to Urtega? Ah, maybe you've already done it. In that case..."
I suppose I'd have to consider dying once to reset the timeline.
"I am not talking about that right now. Look at me."
As if reading the dark turn of my thoughts, she clamped down on my body with her legs, cupped my face firmly with both hands, and spoke with a trembling, desperate plea.
"I could not care less about Stanasila Alzen. He does not cross my mind at all. Because the person I truly met and came to know was you. The only one I care about is the 'you' residing inside that flesh."
"Is it really fine for you to say that? You belong to Urtega."
"What does that matter? I am merely Lord Urtega's subordinate; I have no relation whatsoever to Alzen. Were it not for orders, I wouldn't have spared a shred of attention for a piece of trash like him."
I peered closely at the maid spitting such venomous words. She wore her usual mask of indifference, but beneath the surface, she seemed agonizingly frantic and on edge.
"...Yeah. You're right. I'm not Stanasila Alzen. I'm just a complete stranger with zero connection to this body."
"Please tell me your name."
I hesitated for a beat, but curious to see where she was going with this, I parted my lips.
"...Kang Han-gil."
"An unfamiliar style of name."
"I imagine so."
After a moment of contemplation, she looked at me with tender, aching eyes and gently caressed my face.
"Lord Kang Han-gil. From what I observe, entering this body was not of your own volition... am I correct?"
"One day, my soul was forcefully shoved into it."
"I see... Do you despise Stanasila Alzen?"
"...Isn't that the wrong question to ask right now? Shouldn't you be asking what happened to Alzen's soul first?"
"I told you, I do not care. The one I want is you."
"......"
"Lord Kang Han-gil. Look at me. I am right here. Right here... alive."
"...!?"
For some reason, those words struck a chord deep within my chest. As if tugged by an unseen gravitational pull, I found myself hanging on her every word.
"Please, do not reject me."
"Ha... I'm not rejecting you. I'm just refusing. What I reject is this reality I was shoved into against my will, and this swapped life."
"...I understand. From your perspective, it must feel as though your original existence was completely negated."
"Quick on the uptake, aren't you? Exactly."
"Is that why you keep your distance from everyone and rely so heavily on alcohol?"
"Seriously, you catch on too fast. It's almost creepy."
Feeling an uncomfortable prickle at having my psyche laid bare, I instinctively sneered, causing her shoulders to flinch as if wounded.
"No... even so, there is still so much I cannot comprehend. Even if your life was swapped against your will, even if that vessel belongs to the Alzen you despise, the soul inside belongs to you. Half of you is truly you. You only have one life, so why do you put yourself in such perilous danger? Why, after despairing so deeply, do you fight so desperately for something? What is your purpose? Why... do you push me away?"
Even so, she refused to back down. She pushed forward relentlessly, desperate to know me, to understand me.
A sharp, stinging ache flared in the center of my chest, making me scowl deeply.
"*Haa*... You sure have a lot of questions."
"...I am sorry."
Since things had come to this, laying it all out on the table didn't seem like the worst idea. Part of me was acting out of sheer resignation, but... knowing her personality and loyalty, it wasn't like she was going to blab to the world anyway.
"Even if I die, I don't actually die. I just go back to the past."
"Back to the past...?"
She tilted her head, utterly baffled.
"It's hard to explain in detail. I've only died a handful of times so far."
"...Pardon?"
"The moment I realized I had possessed this body, I threw myself out the window."
"......"
Looking up at her stunned, speechless face, I let out a dry, raspy chuckle.
*Gulp.*
I knocked back another swallow of liquor and sank deep into the cushions.
"So you see, death is meaningless to me. That's why I can throw it away so casually."
"...That is..."
"The reason I push you away isn't complicated. It just disgusts me. The mere fact that this body belongs to Stanasila Alzen."
Reaching out, I grabbed her breast.
"The one touching you right now is Stanasila Alzen."
"...No. It is Lord Kang Han-gil. At least, that is what I feel and believe."
"*Pfft*, haha... Let me put it in extreme terms. If you take my seed and bear a child, whose kid is it really? Mine, or Stanasila Alzen's?"
"......"
"Yeah. That's the reason. It might sound trivial to you, but..."
"...No. Not in the slightest."
"Or maybe you think I'm just petty and narrow-minded."
"I do not. I understand completely."
"Is that so? Well, thanks for that. So I'd appreciate it if you refrained from coming on to me like this from now on."
"That is an entirely separate matter."
"*Haa*... Would you please just listen to me?"
"My conviction will not waver. Lord Kang Han-gil. Please listen."
Leaning in until her face was inches from mine, her moist eyes reflected my distorted expression.
"Certainly... the issue of lineage is as grave as you fear. However, everything you currently see, hear, and feel belongs entirely to Lord Kang Han-gil."
Her hand came up, gently covering the hand I still had clamped over her breast.
"What are you..."
"Lord Kang Han-gil, you appear to possess Stanasila Alzen's memories. Is that correct?"
"Yeah. I have that bastard's memories."
"Then, can you confidently claim that you know everything there is to know about Stanasila Alzen?"
"...Isn't that obvious?"
"It is not obvious. For that to be true, Lord Kang Han-gil, you would need to possess even the memories that Stanasila Alzen himself forgot."
"What kind of nonsense..."
"Can you recall when Stanasila Alzen was an infant in a crib? Can you recall the drunken ramblings Alzen uttered when he drank himself unconscious?"
"......"
I couldn't.
"Memories are merely memories. Our minds are far more foolish and flawed than we think; we cannot remember everything. They are merely processed and stored as fragments of information. Over time, they weather, distort, glamorize, and fade into oblivion. They are imperfect."
Heat and passion surged into her voice, rising to a fever pitch.
"The emotions you feel right now belong to you alone. The voices you hear, the sights you behold, the textures you touch, the rapid pounding of your heart... even your consciousness and your will—all of it belongs wholly and entirely to you."
As if pleading, as if crying out from the depths of her soul, she poured her conviction into her words.
"You may deny it, but Lord Kang Han-gil, you are already living a life. You are not living Stanasila Alzen's life in his stead; you are living your own life, by your own will. So please, cherish yourself. Do not push away the people around you. Even if death cannot be your escape, do not despair, and put yourself first. If it is too difficult, I will support you. I will stay by your side. Please believe in me. Please, lean on me."
"...I really don't get why you're going this far. Is there any reason for this?"
"I want to be with you. I want to watch everything you build and achieve. Until the very end, for the rest of my life."
"Ha. Anyone listening would think you're proposing to me."
"In a sense, that may very well be true."
"......"
After exchanging a long silence with her, I let out a heavy sigh.
"You know that's an incredibly selfish thing to say, right?"
"...Yes. Because I, too, as the master of my own life, am putting myself first."
"*Haa*... Fine, fine. I get it. I'll try my best."
That was, in its own way, sincere.
I wasn't completely persuaded. In reality, not a single one of my fundamental problems had been solved. Yet, it was simply impossible for me to dismiss her desperate plea and the raw emotions bleeding through her words.
How could I ignore someone who was speaking not to Stanasila Alzen, but to Kang Han-gil?
Ever since I fell into this world, she was the very first person to do that.
"...Haha."
Perhaps this was how the Demon King Rubias had felt. The sensation of finally no longer being alone. The tangible reality of existing together in the same shared space. The bizarre speed with which the hollow loneliness melted away, replaced by a grounded, rooting stability.
I had no choice but to admit it. I had faced her, I had wavered, and I had tilted toward her.
"Lord Kang Han-gil...!"
At my answer, color rushed into her face. The sheer beauty of her expression—blooming like a flower unfurling its petals—left me momentarily spellbound.
"In that case..."
"Hey, what the hell are you doing?"
I hastily shoved her away as she pulled me into a tighter embrace and began stripping off my clothes. She tilted her head, looking utterly bewildered.
"Did you not just agree to accept me?"
"No, that's that, and this is this. Didn't you say you only seduced me and tried to do that stuff because I seemed unstable and you wanted to anchor me? Isn't that right?"
"Th-that is true, but..."
"Then there's no need for it anymore. Just like you said, I've resolved to do my best and live this given life starting right now. You don't need to sacrifice yourself."
"...Pardon? No, wait a moment. It is not a sacrifice! I... towards Lord Kang Han-gil, not Stanasila Alzen—"
"Right, right. I know how you feel. But I don't really want to father Stanasila Alzen's kid either. You wouldn't want that either, right?"
"It seems you understand nothing at all."
Watching her expression freeze into an icy glare, I flashed a mischievous smirk.
"I'll try my best to live well from now on. So you don't need to force yourself to do that kind of thing. Besides... I have the right to choose my partner too, you know?"
"...!!"
The glare she shot me was terrifying enough to murder a man, but I simply snickered, utterly unfazed.
"Ah, by the way, my ultimate goal is to kill the Demon God. Just so you know."
"...Excuse me? What did you say?"
While she squawked beside me in absolute horror, I ignored her and tipped the bottle back, gulping down the burning alcohol.
"*Phew*..."
Though I had brushed it off playfully at the end, her words had struck the surface of my heart like a boulder dropped into a still lake, sending out massive ripples. It had hit home so deeply that I couldn't steady the trembling inside me.
'I am right here, in this place, alive... huh?'
Muttering those decisive words that had shaken me to my core, I met Muriel's gaze once more.
She, too, was right here, alive in this place.
It was a truly bizarre sensation. It felt like bumping into another living soul on a deserted island where I thought I was doomed to die alone. The sheer absurdity of it forced a helpless laugh past my lips.