Blackout
Thursday afternoon, in the major lecture hall. I was polishing a message to send to Baek Gangho under the desk. [I’ll head to the business school lobby right after class. Wait for me.]
To avoid running into my history department classmates and seniors who would all pour out the main gate, meeting on the opposite side at the business building was the safest bet. From Baek Gangho’s perspective, having me come all the way to his department building would probably be even more welcome. Just as a relieved, triumphant smile began to form on my lips, a sharp yet bright voice from the podium pierced my eardrums.
“This year’s cohort has an unusually small number of female students. Among them… Cha Seolah?”
The female professor’s gaze over her glasses was persistent. “……Yes, Professor.”
“I was quite curious about you, Seolah, since you didn’t show up at the freshman orientation either. You’re going to the welcome party after class today, right?? I need to have a serious talk with you. Hehe, no running away~♥”
A mix of laughter and sympathetic sighs erupted around the lecture hall. My mind immediately sounded an alarm. ‘I’m screwed.’
Professor Jeong Mi-yeon. A young, boldly appointed faculty member in her early forties and a passionate force who poured all her post-divorce energy into student management and academics. Being singled out by her meant my evening plans were in serious danger of complete derailment.
“Seolah, I almost felt lonely because you wouldn’t give me a straight answer about the welcome party! I’m so glad you’re coming.”
The moment class ended, Choi Suyeon linked her arm tightly through mine like a shackle and smiled brightly. With Kang Jinwoo and class president Do Taehoon waiting at the door joining us, I had no choice but to be escorted down “Huffing Hill” under their guard.
“Seolah, what classes are you taking this semester? As class president I should roughly know everyone’s schedules.”
Do Taehoon stuck close to my right side and spoke. I answered absentmindedly while fumbling for my smartphone in my pocket. Taking advantage of a gap in the conversation, I quickly sent a message. [Gangho, sorry. I have to go to the welcome party after all. I’m really sorry.]
The moment I hit send, Do Taehoon snickered at Choi Suyeon and Kang Jinwoo. “Hey, now that I think about it, you two are class partners on a date, right? Holding hands and making eyes at each other must’ve been wild.”
“Ah, get lost! Are you crazy?”
“Aw, why? Just date already. That way you’re guaranteed an A+, right?”
“Ah, seriously!”
Choi Suyeon smacked Do Taehoon’s forearm with a sharp sound that was quite loud for a playful girls’ hit, but he only laughed in delight.
Amid the noisy group of classmates, we arrived at a large gamjatang restaurant in front of the school. The restaurant, which the department had reserved entirely, was already packed not only with the 2012 freshmen but also with returning seniors. The moment I stepped through the entrance, the previously boisterous atmosphere rippled strangely.
“Hey, is that Cha Seolah?”
“Whoa…… She really is pretty.”
“Why would someone like her come here instead of becoming an idol?”
Blatant stares and commentary came from all directions. My soul felt exhausted, but my twenty-year-old body made my cheeks flush slightly under the flood of attention. I was led to the central table where the professors sat. The curtain had risen on a massive drinking session.
The conversation, which began with well-wishes about university life that I didn’t particularly need right now, shifted to talk about life trajectories. The seasoned nodding skills of a former 35-year-old married man and the gaze of someone who knew life’s hardships were enough to disarm the 41-year-old newly divorced Professor Jeong. To outsiders it looked like a conversation between a fresh-faced freshman and a young female professor, but in reality it was closer to peers comparing life stories and reminiscing.
“Seolah, you’re an only child, right? Your parents must have a very youthful mindset. Why does talking to you feel like talking to my own friend?”
Professor Jeong looked at me curiously while picking up some radish with her chopsticks. I skillfully refilled her soju glass and answered smoothly.
“My parents are often away from home, so I matured a little earlier. Also, the way you speak reminds me of my aunt, so it feels comfortable.”
“Aunt? Hey, calling me aunt is going too far. That hurts my feelings! From today on, you’re calling me unni. I’ve decided to make you my sworn little sister!”
At the sudden “unni” declaration, a returning senior who had been demolishing side dishes nearby chuckled and chimed in. “Wow, Professor. Are you trying to look younger by taking on a little sister?”
“Hey now, you rascal. It’s good if I look a bit younger, so don’t interfere! You!”
With a bit of alcohol in her system, Professor Jeong showed a rather cute side that differed from her usual cool beauty professor image. As the atmosphere ripened, male professors from another table joined, making the gathering even more lively.
“Ah, I’m done for tonight. If I drink more I’ll cause trouble.”
Knowing her own limits exactly, Professor Jeong stood up. While receiving enthusiastic send-offs from the students and heading toward the restaurant entrance, she suddenly turned back as if struck by a thought and tightly hugged my shoulders.
“My little sister, our Seolah, unni’s leaving now? Don’t pretend today never happened at the next class!”
Before I could even react to the strong alcohol scent brushing my nose and her soft embrace, she whispered one more line into my ear—or rather, loud enough for everyone nearby to hear.
“……Hey, but your figure is really something? Is it natural, natural?”
She let out a satisfied giggle and disappeared outside the restaurant. But the ripple she left behind was enormous. The restaurant noise was trapped in a momentary silence, and dozens of gazes pierced sharply into my body as I escaped her embrace.
“……”
Especially because of the blatant nuance of the word “natural,” I could feel the male seniors’ and classmates’ gazes subtly drifting toward my chest area. ‘Ah, this is going to be a headache.’ My inner self sensed crisis before discomfort. Among those gazes were Kang Jinwoo’s clearly flustered expression and Do Taehoon’s face, which looked like he was swallowing hard.
*
Professor Jeong’s shocking throw of “all-natural” instantly raised the drinking party’s temperature to ignition point. Under the pretext of my absence from orientation, professors and returning seniors kept arriving in succession to greet me, leaving no chance for the glass in front of me to stay empty. Glasses were thrust forward with “Nice to meet you” or “I wanted to have a drink with you.” I diligently kept pouring and handled them skillfully, but the sheer volume of attacks eventually rendered even that useless.
Perfectly acting the part of “freshman Cha Seolah”—shy yet adorably accepting drinks while being impressively well-mannered—was flawless. But the problem was that my technique worked too well. When a pretty freshman emptied and refilled glasses so eagerly, the drinking party’s turnover rate doubled compared to usual.
‘……Wait a second.’
At some point, a hot sensation began rising from the soles of my feet. My brain warned me to stop drinking, saying it was about to go on strike, but it was already too late. Cha Seolah’s liver was far too weak to support my mental fortitude.
“Hey, Seolah really can drink. How much is your tolerance?”
Han Yuri, a 2010 senior who had been demolishing side dishes beside me, asked with sparkling eyes. Yuri was popular in the department for her pretty appearance and straightforward personality. Though she was classmates with the group giving me dirty looks from the corner table, she was different. Those people who had been badmouthing me behind my back had somehow shown up to the welcome party and were monitoring my every move, but they were suppressed by Professor Jeong’s cheerful declaration and the seniors’ welcoming atmosphere, only able to chew on side dishes without making a sound.
“Uung… Yuri unniii… I’m not drunkshh…”
The moment the words left my throat, even I was shocked. My rationality screamed and tried to log out, but Cha Seolah’s twenty-year-old body had completely melted away the “aloofness” mask I had forced on her with the alcohol. I grabbed Yuri’s sleeve and gave her a silly smile.
“Yuri unni doesn’t hate me, right? I’m really a good kid… but people keep saying I’m scary… I’m a little sad…”
“Oh my, look at her! Seolah, why are you so cute?”
Han Yuri stretched my cheeks like cheese and burst into laughter. Everyone’s attention focused on us. The sight of Cha Seolah, who usually acted like an ice queen, half-closing her eyes and smiling brightly while mumbling had tremendous destructive power. Even the girls in the corner who had been gossiping about me seemed to have their “Cha Seolah has no manners” logic completely shattered as they dazedly fiddled with their glasses.
‘Cha Seolah’ didn’t stop there. Borrowing the alcohol’s power, her “instinct” reached out even to classmates she could barely exchange a word with. Staggering, she headed toward Lee Jihyun and Jeong Dabin, who had been quietly emptying their glasses in the corner by themselves.
“Jihyeonaaa… Dabinaaa… why won’t you act like you know me? I really want to be close with you guys…”
The two girls, who had come from the provinces and stuck together like glue as high school classmates, looked visibly flustered. If it had been the usual me, I wouldn’t have approached them, and they would have kept their distance, calling me “not our type,” but the alcohol instantly demolished that high wall.
“Huh? Uh… No, sorry. We just thought you were too glamorous to hang out with us…”
Jeong Dabin smiled awkwardly and tidied up around where I sat. But I had already put down my glass and was rubbing my head against Lee Jihyun’s shoulder. Lee Jihyun’s usually blunt face instantly flushed red.
“Hey, Cha Seolah… You’re really drunk.”
“Jihyeoni’s shoulder… feels good… hehe.”
Lee Jihyun looked flustered but couldn’t push me away as I burrowed into her arms. Watching the scene, Jeong Dabin poked Jihyun with a strange expression.
“Hey, Cha Seolah. Don’t get too close to her. Jihyun here is actually dangerous to kids like you, you know?”
Though Jeong Dabin spoke in a deliberately playful tone, even through my alcohol-hazed ears the words sounded strangely chilling. Instead of answering, Lee Jihyun tucked my hair behind my ear and bit her lip. The tips of her fingers touching my cheek trembled slightly.
“I’m not joking. Seolah, be careful of her. What if she decides she likes you tonight and takes you to her place? You won’t be able to handle it.”
Perhaps Jeong Dabin’s joking words became a seed. My vision rippled as if I had entered an aquarium, and when I turned my head, Do Taehoon at the next table had four nostrils.
“Class president of the 2012 cohort. Seolah’s eyes are unfocused. Send her home before she passes out.”
A senior from a higher year who had been watching from the next table lightly set down his glass and spoke. It wasn’t a forced suggestion but a natural one that read the flow of the drinking party. At his words, Do Taehoon seemed to come to his senses and asked while examining me.
“Seolah, try to sober up a bit. Where did you say your house was?”
“……Seongsu…”
“Huh? Where?”
“…Seongsu……”
“Ah, Seongsu-dong? But sending her on the subway in this state… she’ll end up riding Line 2 all around Seoul… A taxi doesn’t feel safe either. Jinwoo, what do we do?”
“Let’s just take her to my place. I’ll let her sleep there.”
Lee Jihyun stood up while packing her bag in an indifferent voice. Her studio right in front of the school’s back gate had the perfect location. Though we had barely spoken before, perhaps thanks to the earlier cuddling, Lee Jihyun spoke with considerable responsibility.
“Jihyun, please take good care of Seolah! Call us right away if anything happens!”
Leaving Choi Suyeon’s voice behind, I was carried outside the restaurant supported by Do Taehoon and Kang Jinwoo. The cold night air touched my cheeks, but my head felt filled with fog. Beep beep beep. The door lock sounded, and the moment I entered the unfamiliar room, a strong artificial perfume scent and a strangely cool leather smell assaulted my nose. The moment I was thrown onto the bed, my phone vibrated briefly inside my bag. Bzzzz. But I no longer had the cognitive ability to check who it was from. For a brief moment, the face of someone who had said they would wait endlessly there seemed to flash by, but soon a massive tidal wave of sleepiness crashed over my consciousness. At the edge of my blurry vision, I could see a large monitor and unknown lighting equipment on the desk glittering in the moonlight.
‘……Ah, Baek Gangho…’
With the faint scent of soap from an unfamiliar someone as my last sensation, my first department event blacked out.