Provocation
The vibration ringing from deep inside my bag, nestled among my major textbooks, felt like salvation. I snatched my smartphone out almost desperately. My trembling fingers fumbled across the screen to unlock it.
“……Ah.”
A dejected sigh slipped from between my lips. The expectations had been so high that the silly messages on the screen felt like sharp mockery. The number ‘1’ beside my earnest message sent at nine in the morning remained stubbornly unchanged. My classmates, who liked to joke about killing or saving me while dragging me out for drinks, sent alarms that felt so light.
Thursday was still a few days away, but the mere thought of stepping into that noisy drinking party already flooded me with exhaustion. Everyone else was excited about new beginnings and getting together over drinks, yet I alone felt as if I had received an execution date and was now fighting an invisible enemy.
……Why isn’t he reading my message?
Resentment toward Baek Gangho, whom I hadn’t run into in the lobby, mixed with my obsession over that unchanging ‘1’ and kept me tossing all night.
I don’t even remember how I spent Tuesday. My mind was occupied with only one thing: the liberal arts class I shared with him tomorrow. If he didn’t show up again or ignored me, I decided I would go to the Thursday general meeting and cause a scene on purpose. My childish desire for revenge burned hot—earn a ton of points, dump them all into the Charm stat, and make Baek Gangho’s eyes roll back as he begged me to meet him just once.
Wednesday, three in the afternoon. The lecture hall buzzed with students settling down with their partners. But the seat beside me remained empty. The professor began calling names as he flipped through the attendance sheet.
“……Baek Gangho?”
He still hadn’t arrived. I bit my lip and stared at the firmly closed door. Just as I wondered if the bastard was truly avoiding me, the back door burst open roughly.
“Haah, haah…… Yes! I’m here!”
Baek Gangho rushed in, panting. Under the professor’s sharp glare, he hurried straight to the seat beside me. The moment he sat down, he dropped his bag onto the desk as if collapsing onto it. I turned my head with a sullen expression and glared at him petulantly.
“……So you show up now?”
At my icy tone, Baek Gangho jumped and lifted his head. Sweat beaded on his face, which clearly showed panic and apology.
“Ah, Seolah-ya…… I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Did you… wait long for my reply?”
“Hmph. Who knows.”
He fumbled through his pocket and pulled out a shiny new smartphone. Then he subtly retrieved an old phone from the side pocket of his bag—its screen shattered so badly it wouldn’t even turn on—and added, “Monday morning on my way to class, I dropped this. The touch stopped working right after…… I only got it activated today because I had the morning free. It’s true. I was going crazy wanting to reply.”
What a clumsy excuse. Alternating between the broken old phone and the new one while fidgeting was so typical of Baek Gangho. But I didn’t want to forgive him so easily.
“You’re not about to claim you were busy with back-to-back classes, are you? Were your major classes really packed from morning to evening on both Monday and Tuesday?”
At my pointed question, Baek Gangho’s eyes widened. “Huh? How did you…… Yeah, it’s true. Monday and Tuesday were completely packed from dawn to dusk. But how do you know my schedule, Seolah?”
“……I just figured that’s how business majors’ timetables usually are.”
My heart sank, but I brushed it off casually. It was definitely different from the schedule I remembered from when I had been Baek Gangho. I hadn’t realized the business major classes would be scheduled so tightly. The timetable in my memory was already part of a past history.
“Anyway, I checked the moment it was activated. I’m truly sorry for the late reply. Are you… really angry?”
Hearing the genuine apology in his voice, the tight knot in my chest strangely loosened. All my fierce resolutions about earning points to boost my charm or causing a scene at the general meeting melted away like snow.
……What is this? Just from one little phrase.
Rationally, I knew it was a pathetic excuse, yet I couldn’t deny the relief flooding my heartbeat. My pride, cracked as badly as that shattered screen, cowardly clung to the smooth surface of the new smartphone he offered.
“Hmph, forget it. Just pay attention to the lecture.”
I deliberately rested my chin on my hand and gazed out the window, but holding back the smile tugging at my lips proved harder than expected.
After the professor finished scanning the attendance sheet and calling names, he finally closed it and adjusted his glasses. The large lecture hall, filled to its sixty-person capacity, had even switched rooms because the professor had accepted every additional registrant during the course registration frenzy.
“All right, everyone hold hands with your partner. But remain silent. Today is about understanding others through sensation rather than language. Maintain eye contact for three minutes.”
The professor’s words had barely landed before miserable sighs and hollow laughs erupted across the lecture hall. There were only ten female students. The remaining forty-odd male students were forced to hold each other’s rough hands and stare into one another’s eyes in a tragic scene. Two burly athletes from the sports teams clutching each other’s thick hands while gazing into the distance made for quite a spectacle.
Choi Suyeon and Kang Jinwoo, who shared the same department as me, sat in the front row. They made awkward faces but playfully bickered, occasionally stealing glances back at us.
But I didn’t have the luxury to enjoy any of it.
“……Aren’t you going to hold my hand?”
Cha Seolah smiled playfully and extended her hand first, right in front of me. I sensed my pupils losing focus, trembling. The ideal woman I treasured so dearly that I feared she might shatter if touched or wear away if stared at too long was now beckoning me to take her hand.
The past two days had been hell. Carrying around the shattered phone and visiting store after store, I had thought only of Cha Seolah. Having gone silent without a single message, she must have been furious. I had wanted to head straight to the history department building, but the cold words I had spoken at her house last time held me back.
A guy who’s heading to the military soon, what……
Guilt and longing had burned inside me, yet the Cha Seolah I finally faced accepted my apology so easily. No—she was smiling even brighter than usual and reaching out first. I felt grateful for her generosity, but her dazzling smile also made a corner of my heart ache.
I swallowed hard and carefully extended my hand to envelop hers. It was far smaller and softer than I had imagined. The texture seemed like it might melt from mere body heat, so I was even cautious about applying the slightest pressure with my fingers.
“Don’t avoid my eyes. It’s three minutes, remember?”
Cha Seolah murmured softly and smiled sweetly. She usually projected a cool aura with her striking cat-like features, but that smile curving her eyes like crescent moons was devastating. My heart pounded as if it would burst through my ribs.
Heart, please calm down……
Up close, Seolah’s skin was flawlessly transparent, and the faint scent drifting from her made my mind drift. I didn’t know what the professor intended by having us understand each other silently for three minutes, but there was only one thing I realized clearly in that moment.
I really didn’t want to lose this woman.
At the same time, my own situation pressed heavily on my chest. How could I leave someone who smiled so beautifully at me? I brushed the back of Seolah’s hand with my thumb, ever so lightly. Even that tiny contact sent electricity racing through my entire body.
Cha Seolah tilted her head slightly, as if amused by my clumsy touch, and gazed at me intently. My flustered face reflected in her clear eyes, but this time I refused to look away. I didn’t want to. Even though I feared she might wear herself out because of me, I wanted to burn every second of this sight into my memory.
Three minutes. What would have been torturous hell for someone else became magical time I would never forget for the rest of my life.
“Three minutes passed a while ago.”
At my words, Baek Gangho startled as if snapping out of a trance and quickly released my hand. Even as the professor ended class and students noisily gathered their bags, he seemed distracted, his movements sluggish.
“……Let’s go.”
When I stood first, Baek Gangho nodded dazedly and followed. Choi Suyeon and Kang Jinwoo, who had been sitting in front, naturally joined us.
“Hey, Cha Seolah. You were straight-up selling your soul during class earlier?”
Choi Suyeon linked arms with me tightly and giggled. “It’s only a liberal arts class. Why so serious? Trying to give your partner a heart attack? Gangho oppa? You okay? Your face still looks like it’s about to burst.”
At Choi Suyeon’s teasing, Baek Gangho scratched the back of his head instead of answering and averted his eyes. A business-major freshman one year older, awkwardly mixed in with the history department first-years. Because of that uncomfortable position, Baek Gangho stayed quieter than usual.
The four of us had just passed through the liberal arts building lobby and were about to exit the main gate when someone called my name in the middle of the crowded hall filled with students leaving class.
“Eh? Seolah!”
When I turned, it was Kim Ji-hong, the 2008 entrant who had been in the same group during Monday’s philosophy class. He stood mixed in with a crowd of guys.
“Senior. Fancy meeting you here.”
When I stopped, Choi Suyeon and Kang Jinwoo said they were heading off first, waved lightly, and vanished into the crowd.
But Baek Gangho didn’t leave. Like a shadow, he stayed half a step behind me, silently watching Kim Ji-hong approach.
“We bump into each other right in the lobby. It feels different seeing you outside the group meeting—nice to see you again.”
Kim Ji-hong gave a light bow and blocked our path. His gaze lingered briefly on Baek Gangho standing firmly behind me before returning to me.
“Ah, yes. Class just ended.”
“I was going to mention it in the group chat anyway, but it looks like we’ll need one more team meeting soon. You can come when you have time, right?”
“Yes. Just send me the schedule and I’ll check and let you know.”
“Great. I’ll contact you.”
Kim Ji-hong waved lightly and returned to his friends. It had been a brief, businesslike exchange, yet Baek Gangho behind me didn’t take his eyes off him until he disappeared from sight.
We hurried out of the lobby and rejoined Choi Suyeon and Kang Jinwoo ahead. Choi Suyeon, who had been waiting, asked immediately.
“Who was that? An oppa you know?”
“No, he’s the senior leading our liberal arts team project.”
Choi Suyeon nodded at my answer. We walked toward the school gate exchanging light jokes until Kang Jinwoo glanced at Baek Gangho and spoke.
“Is everyone skipping dinner and heading straight home?”
Before Baek Gangho could reply, I cut in first. “Ah, I’m going home to study today. I have assignments.”
“Aww, come on. Cha Seolah, why are you in full study mode already? Then… can’t we just study at your place?”
Choi Suyeon shook my arm, whining. “No.”
“Why~ Come on~ I’m bored.”
“Later. I’ll call you after I clean up the house a bit.”
I made suitable excuses and parted ways with Choi Suyeon and Kang Jinwoo. As the two waved regretfully and walked off, the noisy atmosphere instantly grew calm. Only Baek Gangho and I remained, heading in the same direction.
We walked side by side toward the subway station without speaking. Red sunlight slanted between the buildings, stretching our shadows long until they overlapped into one.
Baek Gangho broke the silence first.
“You have the general meeting tomorrow, right?”
“Huh? Ah, yeah. In the evening.”
“Do all freshmen have to attend…….”
Baek Gangho trailed off, watching my reaction. Then he suddenly stopped walking and turned to face me. Silhouetted against the red sunset, he looked slightly larger than usual.
“Seolah-ya.”
“Yes?”
“Do you… really have to go to the general meeting tomorrow?”
His voice was quite serious, different from his usual clumsy tone.
“Would it be all right if you skipped? Um…… have dinner with me tomorrow instead. I’ll buy you something delicious.”
It was an unexpectedly provocative suggestion. Given the current atmosphere in the class group chat, skipping the history department opening general meeting would cause an uproar. The connections and popularity points I could gain there made attendance the smart choice, but a far bigger task loomed before me.
Baek Gangho bit his lip anxiously as my answer took too long, watching my expression.
General meeting or Baek Gangho……
I looked down at his lowered gaze and fell into thought for a moment.