Chapter 11
Chapter 11
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 11
Chapter Title: Are You Worrying About Me Right Now?
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Esther wanted nothing more than to brush past Noel and hurry back to the merchant group. The situation was so utterly ridiculous it perfectly embodied the phrase "when it rains, it pours." But Helios, standing squarely in her path, showed no intention of stepping aside.
"What brings the young heir of House Micarus here?"
"I stopped by briefly to ask His Majesty the Emperor for a favor regarding documents for the marquisate succession."
Esther's gaze shifted to the yellow envelope in Noel's hand at his words.
She could more or less guess what was going on.
The Imperial Palace maintained a delicate relationship with House of Marquis Micarus—one of mutual wariness, yet neither side willing to draw first blood.
"I see. You look worn out."
"Yes, the documents are insufficient, so it seems I'll have to come back. It's a real headache, always falling short compared to Father."
But Esther knew the Emperor would never grant Noel approval easily.
Noel, oblivious to that fact, simply flashed his affable smile and hovered politely before Helios.
"Well then, good luck."
"Thank you, Your Highness. I wish you a trouble-free day."
As their perfunctory exchange ended, Esther seized the moment to quicken her steps.
"Ah, you..."
Noel called out to Esther as she tried to pass him.
"You looked unwell that time too, and you don't seem much better now. Are you all right?"
"I'm fine."
Sensing her reluctance to engage, as she moved to bypass him, Noel stepped into her path.
"I didn't realize back then that you were His Highness's honored guest. In that case, I should have paid more attention—I apologize for my ignorance."
This was Noel. A man who despised his father's duplicity yet bore an uncanny resemblance to it. The moment Esther's status plummeted, he'd drawn a line without a second thought.
And Esther had no intention of ever getting entangled with him again.
"No need to concern yourself just because I'm His Highness's guest. I'm merely a lowly commoner merchant."
"Pardon?"
Her sharp words laid bare her hostility, leaving Noel visibly flustered instead.
"Would you mind stepping aside?"
But Noel made no move to yield, standing firm in her way. His lips twitched before he spoke to her again.
"Did I perhaps..."
"Knowing she's my guest, I'd appreciate it if you stopped there."
Helios, who had watched in silence until now, ground his teeth with an audible grind and positioned himself protectively in front of Esther.
"As you said, she's not in the best shape right now. Would you kindly step aside?"
"My apologies for the offense."
Noel, who had seemed immovable, bowed deeply at Helios's words and retreated. Esther responded immediately, as if she'd been waiting.
"No, it's fine. If you'll excuse me."
With a hollow courtesy toward Noel, Esther brushed past him.
The woman he met again looked as precarious as someone dangling from a cliff, her eyes still fraught with fragility and unease. Noel's gaze kept drifting to this nameless woman.
At first, it was the vulnerability in those green eyes—so like his mother's—that caught his attention. It felt like watching his mother suffer all over again. But now, it was the hostility simmering within them that grated on him.
"His Highness reacting like that..."
The strange tension between her and the Crown Prince piqued his curiosity.
It was rare for Helios to show open wariness and emotion. Noel instinctively sensed that her connection to him could be a key factor.
A private conversation between a man and a woman alone, and the way Helios looked at her—it went beyond mere acquaintance.
Suddenly, Noel felt a pang of pity for this unknown woman.
She had no idea how filthy men of Helios's status could become, nor how deeply one could be wounded by it.
But his sympathy ended there. If her identity proved useful against him, he'd exploit it without hesitation.
"Welcome back, young master."
As Noel boarded the carriage, the coachman greeted him curtly.
"Head home. I have something to tell Father."
"Yes, sir."
Noel rested his arm on the window frame and propped his chin on it. At the very least, relaying what he'd seen of the Crown Prince would soften his father's attitude toward him for a while.
"That repulsive bastard."
The childhood vow to never resemble his father had long faded.
Noel had already become a perfect mirror—two-faced, just like him.
He loathed that man so much he wanted to drain every drop of the blood coursing through his veins.
He yearned to sever the lifeline of the man who had stood by as his mother suffered. Hadn't he sworn to drag him to the most miserable end?
Noel, my precious child. Mother is fine as long as I have you.
Mother, let's leave this place and live together. Okay?
Noel...
In the end, young Noel hadn't found a way to protect his mother. It was because he lacked the power.
Noel would seize the marquisate by any means. That was the reason he'd endured this hellish life. For now, he needed to maintain a subservient facade.
Tension filled Noel's jaw. Steel resolve hardened in him—to ruthlessly cast aside anything blocking his path—as the carriage sped toward the marquis household.
"I look forward to our next meeting."
The endlessly long corridor felt unusually short today. Helios wished time would stop as he saw her off. Esther and Carter offered him proper courtesies.
"I pray fortune stays by Your Highness's side this day as well."
"I hope you'll reconsider my words once more."
Helios watched Esther board the carriage without a backward glance, as if she had no reason to linger. With a hint of urgency in his voice, he called after her.
An inexplicable anxiety gripped him—the fear that letting her go now would mean losing her forever.
"Please take care of your health."
But there was no reply. Esther merely offered a rote farewell before climbing in.
His unease unrelenting, Helios stood rooted, watching the carriage recede into the distance.
"What exactly is your relationship?"
The person he wanted to ask was already gone, but Helios voiced the question he'd failed to utter.
What did that comment about her being ill mean? How did she know that man? Was her body truly all right?
Yet he'd asked nothing. He feared hearing another rejection from her lips.
"Ha."
These incomprehensible emotions, the dreams, the headaches plaguing him, Esther's utterly changed demeanor.
All of it terrified him. Helios steadied his trembling hand and turned away. But his eyes, quivering without cease, betrayed the truth.
"What on earth was that? How do you know the young heir of Marquis Micarus? And what was that atmosphere when I walked in?"
The moment the Imperial Palace faded from view, Carter turned to Esther.
"I just got some help from him once when I wasn't feeling well. We're not close."
"Why was His Highness staring at you like that? Did something happen?"
"Nothing happened. If anything, I don't know why he's showing me such interest."
Esther closed her eyes, her body language screaming she wanted no more talk. Carter held back further questions. The carriage soon pulled up to the Elpis Merchant Group.
"I'll bring the report summarizing this month's transactions with the palace this evening."
"All right. Thanks for your hard work."
After bidding Carter farewell, Esther retreated to her room, shut the door, and slid down the wall to the floor. Even thinking about it now sent shivers through her body.
"How in the world...?"
Somehow, Helios was recalling memories from the past.
"Why?"
Esther gnawed at her thumbnail. This was different from when no one remembered her.
If Helios regained his memories, it wouldn't stop at trade issues—the dealings with the palace would change too.
Esther scrambled to her feet and flipped through the calendar on her desk in agitation. Over two months remained until the ships arrived.
"How much does he remember?"
Helios's words replayed endlessly. Not knowing the extent left her increasingly frantic.
"How is he even remembering?!"
If she could just buy time until the trades concluded and she could leave the merchant group safely, that would suffice. But she had no way to figure out how.
To halt his returning memories, she had to uncover the cause somehow. She couldn't let her family and home crumble again. This was her hard-won chance.
"He mentioned headaches, right?"
That was the only clue she had so far. She needed more.
For that, Esther faced a choice. Perhaps the cruelest one for her.
"Merchant Guild Master, it's Carter."
Carter knocked on Esther's door, likely with the completed report. Impressed yet again by his competence, she replied while scanning the documents.
"Come in."
A coffee cup steamed precariously in the sole clear spot amid the cluttered desk piled with papers. Seeing it, Carter chided her out of concern.
"I heard you skipped meals. Drinking coffee on an empty stomach like this will ruin your health."
"Sorry. I've just lost my appetite."
Watching Carter fuss over her like this—close enough now to nag—strangely lifted her spirits, drawing a faint smile from Esther. Carter sighed and handed her the report.
"Here are the additional items and transaction details for today. You always seem to fare worse after visits to the palace."
"You're right. It feels suffocating there."
"It's a place full of high nobles. It's only natural for people like us to feel out of place—we don't cross paths with them often. You're not the strange one."
"Thank you."
Hoping his reassurance helped, Carter passed her the report.
Esther took it and skimmed the contents. She let out a small sigh of admiration at the precise records.
"You're truly impressive. As expected, the one who should be in this position is..."
"Don't say that."
Carter waved it off, repulsed as if he'd heard something unpleasant. He continued explaining related details, then added cautiously, gauging her mood.
"Actually, the previous guild master used to accompany deliveries to the palace too. But if it's uncomfortable for you..."
Carter seemed willing to go alone to spare her the discomfort. But Esther had no such intention.
"No."
"Pardon?"
"I'll go too."
Esther needed to learn how—and how much—Helios remembered.
Twice more. That was all. Two months—that was the time she had left.
For her family's sake, Esther could surely manage that much.