You! You Bastard, You Raped Me!!
"Hey, pull the car over."
"We're almost there. Just hang on."
"Ah… what the fuck… I said pull over. We gotta buy flowers before we go up."
"…Hah! Fine."
That damn Areum never listened to a word anyone said.
We somehow managed to arrive while bickering the whole way, but she still had her spines all puffed up over me putting my hands on her body earlier. In the end I spotted a gap between the cars cutting in and flung the door open, storming out.
"Hey! Ah, I told you I don't need them!"
"I'm the one giving these to your aunt and uncle. What the hell does it have to do with you? Don't go ahead—wait for me. If you go first I swear I'll kill you."
I slammed the door hard and headed for the roadside stall a little ways from the parking lot entrance.
"Two of these, please."
"Yes, just a moment."
White chrysanthemums wrapped in pure white paper. I took the two separate bouquets and cradled them against my chest.
"Thank you. Have a good day."
Worried that damn Areum might have left me behind and gone up alone, I sprinted back the way I'd come. Thankfully this time she'd pulled over onto the shoulder and was waiting quietly for me. I let out a breath of relief.
"Whew… let's go."
"…Idiot. Put your seatbelt back on."
We were literally right in front of the place and she was still finding every little thing to pick at.
"Yeah."
I held it in. Today I was going to hold it in no matter what.
"…Hey, what about lunch? Wanna hit that place we go to later?"
"Dunno. We'll see."
"Whatever you say."
With Areum's answer the car started moving again. We climbed a fairly steep road.
"Should I call Mom now?"
"…Forget it. She's probably busy."
"What's she even busy with?"
"……."
I dialed Mom right away, but only the awkward ringtone kept going—no one picked up.
"Sh-she's busy, I guess. I'll leave a text."
"Hah! I told you not to."
The silence that followed filled the car with a heavy quiet, and it wasn't just because of the mood between us. The place was wide open on all sides, but it was packed with gravestones. Stepping into a cemetery always brought a chill you couldn't quite name, a feeling that made you settle down a little. Especially for Park Areum, coming to see her parents.
"Hey, how far are you going? You gotta turn off to the side."
"Ah… oh."
Wherever her mind had wandered off to, Areum almost drove right past where her uncle and aunt were buried. Thanks to me she wrenched the wheel sideways and managed to park near the original destination.
"But you're going out like that? It's pretty cold."
"…None of your business. Just get out already."
"Hah! Even when I try to worry about you."
"I don't need your worry, so just shut up and get out."
Her period was over and she was still acting like she was on it every five seconds with me. I carved the character for "patience" into my chest dozens of times and swallowed the urge to snap.
"Y-yeah… if that's what you say, then I should shut up and get out."
Clunk—thud—!
"Ugh, it's chilly."
"Quit whining. I'm going first."
With that, Areum strode off ahead without looking back. I started to follow, then let out a sigh and moved over to a nearby bench instead.
"Ugh… haaaawn…."
I yawned so wide my mouth nearly split. People with their own stories were gathered here and there, murmuring among themselves. The acrid smell of cigarette smoke brushed my nose and made my face scrunch up.
"…This is a no-smoking area."
It made me think of the cigarettes I'd quit for no good reason, and in the suddenly bleak weather I looked up at the sky. Clouds blanketed everything, thick as dust. They looked just like cigarette smoke.
"Weather's fucking awful…."
It wouldn't have been strange at all if rain started pouring any second. I stared blankly at the sky, watching those formless, hazy clouds drift with nowhere to go for a long time.
"Haa… what the hell am I even doing."
I should've just stayed in the car, but it was already too late for regrets. Figuring this was long enough, I started walking toward where Areum would be.
"Hic! Hnngh… hhk, hwaaaang…."
A woman's sobbing carried from far off. Combined with the already bleak weather, it sent a slow, creeping chill up my spine.
"Hhic! Haa, hh… hhk…."
There she was—Areum, collapsed face-down in front of her uncle and aunt's grave, wailing at the top of her lungs. The face I could glimpse was already a mess of tears, flushed red like she'd downed a drink or two.
"Hey… did you drink?"
"Hhk, hhic! Hwaaaaang…."
She glanced at my face like she might hold the tears back, then they burst out all over again.
"…I'm going crazy."
From what I'd overheard from my parents, her aunt and uncle hadn't been able to hold their liquor well, and they'd always said Park Areum took after them completely. Sure enough, one shot of soju turned her face red, and past three she was out of her mind.
"Hey, Park Areum. How much have you had?"
Even at a glance more than half the bottle was gone. Because the two of them had been so lightweights while they were alive, we'd always just sprinkled enough on the grave to wet their lips. Which meant the rest had all disappeared down Areum's throat….
"Hey, heeey! Park Areum!"
"Hiiiiing… I'm… so sad… hhk, hhk!"
The tip of her nose was bright red. Both cheeks too, and her eyes were bloodshot—she looked like a complete wreck.
"Ah fuck… I'm going insane. If I'd known it'd be like this I never would've let her go up first… haa…."
I didn't think I'd seen her cry this hard since she became an adult. Her eyes would get a little red sometimes, but turning into a full-on ocean of tears like this felt like a first.
Shaaaaaaaaaaaa—
And then it went from bad to worse. The gloomy sky finally started dumping rain without end.
"Hey, come out. Hey! I said come out."
"Hiiiiing… why are you yelling at me!"
"Haa… I'm going crazy… for real…."
In the end I left Areum where she was and hurriedly paid my respects to her uncle and aunt. In front of them I set the bottle I'd taken from her and the bouquets I'd brought. I bowed through the rain and offered a short greeting in my head—and of course that was when thunder crashed and lightning flashed across the sky.
"Dad and Mom had some overlapping schedules today so they couldn't make it. We'll come together next time. And… she seems pretty drunk right now so I think we should head out early. It's raining hard too…."
I hadn't even finished speaking. Thunder and lightning lit up the already darkening sky again.
"Hey, Park Areum. Hurry up and say hello."
"Hiiiiing… Mommyyyy, Daddyyy… this bastard, hhk! This bastard! He… to me! Hic!"
"Y-you crazy bitch! What the hell are you about to say! Ah, I'm so sorry. I'll take her away now."
I practically hauled the completely wasted Areum over my shoulder and headed back to the parking lot. Both of us were already soaked to the skin—at this rate we were going to catch matching colds.
"Hey, give me the keys. Haa… never mind. Faster if I just look myself."
I dug through every pocket Areum had until I found the car key.
(Park Areum)
I was sure I'd paid my respects to my parents, and then in a fit of anger I'd started drinking. And then… I'd drunk some more. The buzz had been strangely slow to hit, and that day I'd just wanted to get drunk, so even though my throat burned I kept drinking and drinking.
"Ugh…."
My head throbbed. Who I was, where this was, what I was doing—none of it interested me in the slightest. The only thought floating through my mind was how to make this skull-splitting headache stop.
"Haa… hhk, haaugh…."
My whole body was freezing. It felt like I'd been dunked in an ice bath, like I was wandering outside in the dead of winter with wet clothes on. I couldn't stand the shivers, so I kept groping around with my hands. After a long time of searching for warmth I finally grabbed the blanket that came into my fingers and yanked it all the way up over my face.
"Haa…."
It had been a life-or-death moment, but the blanket made things a little better. With the pounding headache I gave up on staying awake and chose sleep again.
"Hh, hnnngh…."
But in the middle of that bone-deep chill, something warm nearby was radiating heat. Instinctively I reached toward it, slow. What my hand found was soft in places and somehow firm in others. Drawn to it, I moved closer and closer.
It was warm. Warm enough to make me forget the cold. So I pressed even nearer than before. With that warmth spreading through my arms I fell asleep almost at once.
(Shin Down)
"Ah… stop…."
My body felt a little prickly, a little sore and throbbing.
"Ugh, haaa…."
Maybe it was from getting so soaked in the rain, but some instinct told me this wasn't normal.
"Ah, aaagh! Aaaaaagh!!"
"You fucking son of a bitch! You fucking bastard!!"
The sharp pain hitting my face finally snapped me wide awake. Pain bloomed through my whole body and my face twisted on its own; at the same time heavy impacts kept ringing through my skull.
"You! You fucker! I'm a person! Huh!? You son of a bitch!!"
The thuds were the gentle part. The occasional crack and crunch were nothing special, and a high-pitched ringing in my ears wouldn't stop.
"U-ugh… haa…."
"Say something, anything, you fucking bastard!!"
Trying to open my eyes wasn't as easy as I wanted. All I could hear was Areum's shouting, and pain was still blooming in every corner of my body. I flailed my hands, trying desperately to grab hold of her.
"St-stop! Stooop! I said stop!!!"
"You! You son of a bitch! How can you even say that? Huh!?"
"No, augh… you crazy bitch! Why are you doing this to me!"
"You're asking because you don't know? You're asking because you don't fucking know!!"
Areum was furious first and foremost. My best guess was that she was taking late revenge for all the rough shit I'd done and beating the hell out of me—if it wasn't that, I had no idea what the reason could be.
"You, youuu! You fucking—! You can still walk around with your head held high after this!? I told you I'd spread it all, didn't I!"
"You son of a bitch! What right do you have to say that? Are you even human?"
"Why the sudden freak-out! Ah… fuck… ah, my head's ringing…."
Then, like a miracle, the violence raining down on me stopped.
"You… you! You fucker, me, me! You raped me!!"
But in its place a stream of curses slammed into my head.
"…Bu-bullshit, fuck! Rape? What the fuck rape! Don't spit that dogshit!"
My heart dropped into my stomach. What kind of insane claim was this—that I'd raped her in my sleep? There had to be a limit to how wronged a guy could feel. I'd gone to sleep and woken up a rapist.
"Then why the hell am I completely naked? And fuck… you were naked too, lying in the same bed!!"
"This bitch is actually insane… if you're gonna get drunk, at least get drunk cleanly, for fuck's sake. You don't remember a single thing from last night, do you?"
The ringing in my ears gradually faded. My sticky eyes started to open little by little.
"Haa… you fucking bitch… aaah!!"
I launched myself on top of the completely naked Areum in front of me.