Growing Distant (15)
Monday, at school.
The start of a new week is an ordinary, trivial thing. Nothing special about it — it always comes back around. So ordinary, maybe, that you don't even register it as a week newly begun. Just another perfectly mundane, everyday kind of day.
It isn't a year. It isn't even a month. It's only a week.
And yet for someone, it could become a new turning point. A so-called turning point. Or a hopeful day that finally severs last week's nightmare.
At least, that was how I felt today.
"Want to reserve a practice room at lunch and run through it once?"
My seat had always been a place where uncomfortable stares rained down from every direction, but today an ordinary conversation greeted me. I still couldn't say they thought well of me — but being treated like anyone else was already more than enough.
"Oh, yeah. Yena should be free at lunch too, I think."
I answered Yeonju like that.
Yeah. This is what school life is supposed to look like.
"Okay. Yena—! Come here a sec!"
Yeonju called for Yena in a loud voice from right in front of my desk. At that, Yena shuffled over toward us.
"What?"
"We were thinking of practicing for the performance evaluation at lunch. That okay?"
"Ah, yeah. Lunch is fine. But you have to reserve the room."
"Really? Then we should reserve it. We just go to the faculty office, right?"
"Yeah."
An ordinary, everyday conversation unfolding right in front of my eyes. The kind of comfortable conversation I could listen to without a trace of tension or stress.
"Then we meet in front of the practice room after lunch?"
I hopped onto that welcome current. Yena and Yeonju, who'd been talking between themselves, both looked at me at the same time.
"Huh? We're not eating together?"
"Right? Why would we eat separately and then meet up again later."
Ah... so that's how it was.
I'd just assumed they'd eat with their own friends. I ate with Junyong, after all.
Then lunchtime came, and our group ate together. Ordinarily, like any other students. Maybe it was because I'd stepped into this ordinary daily life — even those few remaining whispers directed at me had gone silent.
Afterward we headed to the practice room we'd gotten permission to use in advance. The moment we arrived, I sat down at the piano. Yena and Yeonju hovered around awkwardly, wandering here and there.
"Oh! We're going straight into it with piano accompaniment today?"
Yeonju said that when she saw me sitting at the piano, setting up the sheet music.
"Yeah, I've pretty much got it memorized."
By memorized, I meant it was in my hands now. I'd practiced the hell out of this whenever I had spare time at home. Because I figured I absolutely could not afford to make a mistake.
"Whoa, already? What's with the confidence?! Are you like some kind of genius?"
Yena played along in a teasing way.
Well, I was obviously not a genius. I didn't have talent when it came to playing instruments. I just knew how to play, that was all. If I had to name my talent... it would be composition, maybe. Though even that didn't seem particularly outstanding. A small hexagon, you could call it — able to do a bit of everything, exceptional at nothing.
"Anyway, want to try it? The parts you split up... want to go straight through like that? Or do them separately first and put it together later."
Once practice started, I was the first to speak up with confidence. No matter how introverted I was, when it was a field I was genuinely good at, I seemed to find that confidence without even realizing it.
"Hmm... let's treat it like the actual performance evaluation and try it all the way through first!"
That was Yeonju's opinion, and Yena didn't particularly object.
Alright, then that was what we'd do.
I pressed the keys lightly. Starting from the intro, the music began to flow, smooth and unhurried.
It wasn't bad. That was my impression of our first collaboration — aside from Yeonju being a little shaky, that is.
Yena, on the other hand, was cleaner than I'd expected. Surprisingly, not a single unnecessary flourish. The way I heard it, you could tell immediately that she'd been trained somewhere. Yeah — more the feeling of something corrected than raw natural talent. So she hadn't just been talking big when she said she could handle whatever I threw at her.
"I'm gonna run to the bathroom real quick! Yena, you wanna come?"
"Huh? Nah, I'm good."
After our first run-through, Yeonju immediately said she was going to the bathroom. Maybe the reason she'd been shaky the whole time was that she'd been holding it in.
Anyway, Yena and I were left alone in the practice room.
"Yena, you're a really good singer."
I offered her my honest impression. Yena thumped her chest with both hands.
"Of course I am! I'm confident in my singing."
If she puffed herself up that much, it was a little much. Still, I wasn't about to downplay her actual skill.
"Your tone is really nice."
"Really?"
"Yeah. But listening to you sing... I think something with a bit more tempo, something more rhythmic, would suit you better than this slow, quiet, melancholy kind of song."
"...Like what?"
"Hmm... how do I put it. Music built around electric guitar sounds? Band music would actually work pretty well too."
Oops. My producer disease had flared up without me noticing. But the whole time Yena was singing, that was the only thought in my head — that something else would suit her better than this.
"Whoa..."
Yena stared at me like she'd lost her words for a moment. She looked genuinely shocked. Had I come on too strong all of a sudden?
"Ah, I wasn't trying to meddle... that was just my personal opinion."
"No, I didn't mean it like that either."
Yena fixed her expression again. It looked like she'd had something she wanted to say, but chose to swallow it in the end. Then she fidgeted her lips a little.
"Ah—! Why are you suddenly complimenting me? That's so creepy!"
Yena raised her voice for no good reason and turned her head away, all prim and prickly. After that it seemed like the atmosphere was going to get a little awkward, but Yeonju came back and set the current right again.
The walk home.
Kang Junyong invited me to hang out again today, but I turned him down. He was obviously going to drag me somewhere weird. So I was just walking toward the school gate alone.
And on that path...
"Oh? It's Jinho!"
Someone approaching me like she was happy to see me. Thinking back on recent days, that was a rare sight.
"Hey... it's kind of weird seeing you like this."
"Right? I'm weirdly happy about it too. Running into you at school."
It was Sohee. Like she said, we'd only known each other from running — this was the first time seeing each other at school. Awkward and novel at the same time.
Come to think of it, she was heading home alone too. I'd heard she was Choi Ahyeon's friend, so I'd figured she'd joined that group.
"Going alone..."
"Going home alone..."
By coincidence, both of our words came out at the same time and tangled together. And funnily enough, we'd been about to say the same thing.
If Sohee was going to ask something like that...
"Want to walk together, then?"
I figured that was probably her intention, so I said it first. Sohee nodded and fell into step beside me.
"Where do you live, though? After every run you always go the opposite way."
Sohee said this with her eyes on her own feet, walking diligently.
"Ah, from there I have to go the other direction. But if we're leaving from school... it's the same way as Choi Ahyeon's house."
"I see. I live near Ahyeon. Then... we can walk together up to there."
"Yeah."
I gave a casual enough answer, but inside I wanted to scream for help at how awkward this atmosphere was. Suddenly I was walking home from school with Sohee. And this moment was going to last quite a while.
I was the one who suggested we walk together... I'm losing it.
"R-running's going okay? You didn't come out today..."
Might as well try to squeeze something out. Even I wasn't planning to just sit there with my mouth shut like an idiot.
"Yeah, it's fun. But... the problem is I'm too weak. I was going to go out today too, but doing it on weekdays is still a bit... hehe."
Sohee let her words trail off and gave an embarrassed laugh.
"You were improving pretty fast, though."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I'm not just saying that. On Sunday you actually improved compared to Saturday."
"I didn't even notice. I... grew?"
"Yep."
"Then, is it okay if I keep running with you?"
Had Sohee thought she was getting in the way? That was probably why she'd asked.
"You're welcome to."
"Mhm... that's a relief. I always felt like we were wrapping up early because of me..."
So that really was what she'd been thinking. Well, I supposed it would make her self-conscious. We'd be running well and then everything would stop because of her.
"You don't have to worry about that. Nobody thinks someone who's trying hard is a burden. I can tell you're doing your best to keep up."
"Oh... thanks for saying that. Hehe."
Sohee showed a slightly shy smile. Surprisingly, the conversation kept going without breaking. That was a relief. The only problem was we still had a long way to go.
What am I supposed to talk about now.
"Ah, right. I heard you brewed Doraji tea for Ahyeon so her throat would get better faster."
While I was worrying about that, luckily Sohee brought something up first this time. I didn't think she'd know about that. Choi Ahyeon must have told her?
"Ah, yeah. Her throat's always been a bit weak. I used to brew it for her a lot."
"Wow... that's really thoughtful. Looking after her like that."
"Well... of course..."
I was about to say it was only natural — and then I stopped. The words caught right there at the tip of my tongue.
I'd thought of it as so natural, all this time. But it isn't natural anymore.
Even the tea I'd brewed just yesterday — that hadn't been something I did because I wanted to take care of her, as a matter of course. Yesterday, I had brewed that tea to prepare for leaving. So that she could do on her own what I had always done for her.
We talked a little more like that, and I don't know how far we'd walked. The moment we passed through the school gate and turned onto the street —
"Ah..."
This time a familiar voice reached my ears. A familiar voice, but not a familiar sound. I'd rarely ever heard a sigh that thin.
"Ahyeon!"
Sohee, beside me, called Ahyeon's name in that bright, sunny voice of hers, as if she were delighted. But the expression on Ahyeon's face as I saw it wasn't nearly as glad as Sohee's.
"W-why are you two...?"
Ahyeon looked at the two of us with a confused expression. The face of someone wondering how on earth the two of us had ended up together.