Chapter 41
Chapter 41
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 41
Chapter Title: Domestic Cheat Activation (2)
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There's a common misconception people have about ancient farming.
They think that in every country, people used human waste equally to increase crop yields.
The origin of this misconception comes from our country—especially Joseon—where they utilized human, pig, cow, and chicken manure to make compost...
But in the West, even if they used animal dung, they never used human shit on fields where food crops are grown. They thought, "How could anyone put human waste on land that produces food for people?"
In fact, even now, Westerners use "perfectly sterilized and chemically treated compost" and sometimes touch it to check its condition...
They don't mind touching compost made from chicken droppings or cow dung, but if it's made with "human feces" from our country, they scrub their hands clean, calling it filthy.
And here in the Barony of Kroitel where I now live, when I visited the countryside before, Jacques mentioned they only used dung from chickens, cows, and pigs.
That sparked a new idea in my mind.
Right, back in my master's program, my professor suddenly went on a rant.
"Lately, these young people are churning out novels themed around 'isekai reincarnation.' But seriously, does it make any sense for the protagonist to turn the world upside down with such pathetic knowledge?"
He wrote a book over 1,000 pages long opposing isekai reincarnation stories.
We PhD candidates slaved away researching materials for it...
But now, I felt a rare surge of gratitude toward that professor who had worked me to death during grad school. I picked up my pen and began recording the plan I'd come up with.
After an hour, two hours—no, quite a long time—of writing, the entire framework was complete.
I double-checked everything one last time, confirmed there were no issues, and shouted triumphantly in my empty office.
"Done! If we follow this plan, I can finally be free from this annoying shit and piss. Plus, I can employ the slum dwellers and boost agricultural productivity. This is alchemy!!!"
After that, exhaustion hit me hard from working late into the night.
I didn't fight the drowsiness and quietly slumped over my desk to sleep.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ "Ahh, slept like a rock..."
I'd slept deeply and felt refreshed, but my back ached terribly from sleeping slumped over the desk.
As I stretched my back and arms, I noticed a blanket draped over my shoulders.
Did Ella come in because she was worried I'd get cold and cover me? Or was it another steward or maid?
I didn't know who exactly, but thanks to them, I'd stayed warm.
After waking up, I roughly washed my face with the water on my desk and called over a steward passing by my office.
"What time is it now?"
"It's almost noon, Your Excellency. I just heard from Sebastian that the territory's inspectors will arrive soon."
"I see. Thank you."
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ At noon, my territory's inspectors rushed into my office.
It seemed my direct scolding yesterday, plus ordering them to investigate the slums personally because I was so dissatisfied with their work, had worked.
Would I have to keep yelling at them and threaten to inspect sites myself if they slacked off from now on...?
"Alright, give your report."
Hearing that, the inspector standing closest to my desk bowed slightly and began.
"Yes, sir. First, our five inspectors led bailiffs, guards, and attendants under us to investigate the slums directly. The results show that the slum dwellers bathe about once every two months on average, and the streets being covered in excrement like this is a relatively recent development."
Once every two months? Even in this medieval-like world, not washing that infrequently would give anyone skin diseases, no matter how sturdy...
That's why so many of them reeked like they were rotting when I met them...
"What about skin diseases or epidemics?"
"We couldn't investigate skin diseases ourselves, but asking the slum dwellers directly, they said epidemics have broken out within the slums before."
As expected, I was just lucky that no epidemic had hit despite the awful hygiene...
In this era, if typhoid or cholera broke out, oral rehydration was the only answer—and even then, one in a thousand would die...
And making oral rehydration requires massive amounts of sugar and salt, so using sugar to save people...
Compared to the risk of rebellion or productivity loss from population decline, using what was practically free sugar would've been better...
But sacrificing that much revenue from sugar sales would've been a huge loss.
Sighing with those thoughts, I asked,
"I see. But why wasn't it reported to me? Even under my father, an epidemic would've been reported immediately."
The inspector paled and replied,
"In the s-slums, when something like that happens... if a highly contagious disease spreads... they lock the patient inside the house and let them die. They dispose of the food the person ate, close off water sources for a month or two, from what we heard."
Memories from studying the Black Death flashed through my mind.
In Europe, during outbreaks, some cities would lock infected families in their homes to starve or burn them to death.
It was seen as a rational "sacrifice of the few for the many" to stop a plague with 30-40% mortality.
Back then, studying it, I'd thought a more humane method would be nice and moved on...
But hearing it now—starving people to death just for getting sick, when they hadn't committed any crime—made my head spin.
"Continue."
"So thanks to that, even when epidemics hit the slums, they contained it to dozens of deaths."
Finishing, the inspector, fearing my anger, knelt to beg forgiveness.
I stood to stop him, suppressed my fury with effort, and forced a smile.
"No, this wasn't something you could handle. It's also my fault for not ordering strict oversight of the slums. So for this issue... light punishment. Deduct 20% of two months' pay from the responsible inspectors, 15% from the bailiffs in those areas."
His expression eased at the mild penalty of pay cuts.
I continued receiving reports from the inspectors and compiled everything in a large ledger.
Once done, I ordered the steward outside to bring in chairs for them and the large paper with "the plan I organized yesterday" transcribed on it.
Moments later, stewards and servants brought the chairs and hung the paper on the office wall.
As the inspectors prepared to take notes on my explanation, I began.
"From what I see, epidemics seem to arise in filthy places. Proof? Look where every epidemic starts— the slums, right?"
The inspectors nodded, agreeing it made sense.
"So, as Lord of Kroitel, I plan to collect and manage shit and piss not just from the slums, but the entire territory. The plan is written on that paper. Ready to take notes?"
"Yes, ready, Your Excellency."
As they started writing, I grabbed the pointer from my desk and indicated the first item.
"First, I order toilets or shit receptacles installed everywhere in Kroitel. Make sure even remote rural areas have them within a month. To collect it, we'll hire second and third sons from farms. Provide two meals a day, three copper coins per workday, increasing with seniority up to six coppers max."
During the explanation, one inspector raised his hand.
"But budget is a concern. And for people doing that work, wouldn't grain be better than coins?"
Honestly, in current Kroitel, short of me brewing a potion and gold-plating the mansion, there's no risk of budget shortages.
But for rural folk and slum dwellers with few spending options, grain makes more sense.
Yeah, money's great, but you can't eat it.
And turning it into compost will boost food production anyway, so consumption is fine.
"Fine, instead of money, 60 kilos of barley per month."
"Isn't 60 kilos too much? A serf eats about 120 kilos a year... couldn't we reduce it...?"
I bellowed at that inspector,
"Cut the nonsense. That flies in other territories, but we're overflowing with food in Kroitel, aren't we? And to reclaim more land and expand trade, we need people! That means creating a society where second and third sons can marry!!!"
"S-sorry, Your Excellency."
"Good. Now continue. They'll work 10 hours a day, not 8 like serfs. Their duties are as follows. Ready?"
I paused briefly, then continued.
"First, visit each house weekly to collect shit and piss into carts. Transport it to designated sites. Put the shit from carts, plus straw and grass, into dug pits. Collect urine separately, ferment two weeks, then pour in."
One inspector, looking hesitant but understanding, asked,
"Your Excellency, are you planning to make fertilizer from human shit?"
"Yes."
He frowned seriously.
"But chicken or pig dung is one thing—why human shit? Isn't it filthy?"
I snorted derisively.
"The scriptures call human shit, pig shit, chicken shit all equally unclean. So same for fertilizer. And processing it into manure helps serfs greatly. Continue."
"Yes, Your Excellency."
"Make lids fitting the pits, mix shit and urine, cover. After a week, open, turn everything with a shovel, recover. Repeat until no smell, then provide free to serfs. That's it. Dismissed."
One inspector, incredulous, said,
"Understood, Your Excellency. But for such dirty work, shouldn't we use criminals too?"
Come to think of it, the criminals were just locked in the prison tower with no extra duties.
"Do that."
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ A few days later, in Kroitel town.
"Argh, the stench!! Even if I committed crimes, why do I have to shovel human shit and piss?! And the food's the same thin barley porridge whether you do it or not!!!!"
"That's why you should live right. Get to work, scum—I'm suffering because of vermin like you!!"
The guard beside the criminal shoveling shit kicked the complaining prisoner.
Then, looking skyward, the guard grumbled,
"Using criminals for compost is fine, but why do we have to endure this smell too... Your Excellency..."
From this point, thugs thinking of crime feared becoming "shit-shoveling wretches" if caught...
Kroitel's crime rate dropped slightly.
Seeing the report, I prepared for the next reform.
"An army marches on its stomach. Fine, I'll make you combat rations packed with the essence of early modern Western cuisine. Something harder than bricks for you to chow down on..."