Chapter 116
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 116
A ticklish, damp sensation touched the tip of his nose. Humid air seeped into his nostrils, followed by something soft and squishy pressing against them.
The persistent tickling forced Dokyun’s eyes open. His vision was filled with the sight of Eun-chae, right in front of him, licking his nose.
“Wh-Whaaa!!!”
Thud. Dokyun shot up, his body flying off the bed and landing on the floor with a heavy thud. Heart pounding, he stared up at Eun-chae, who was tilting her head in confusion.
“Are you hurt, Honeybee-nim?”
At her question, Dokyun blurted out a reflexive answer.
“I’m not hurt!”
My heart almost leaped out of my chest.
Waking up to a face filling his entire field of vision had made him scream before he even knew it.
Dokyun took a deep breath to calm his racing heart, then slowly pushed himself up.
Wait, how did she move?
He had tied her down so tightly she shouldn’t have been able to budge, yet the Eun-chae he saw was now in the very center of the bed.
Did the ropes loosen?
A sense of crisis surged through him. He checked the ropes one by one, but none of them were loose.
Dokyun stared at Eun-chae, his eyes filled with suspicion. She just stared back at him blankly.
He briefly wrestled with the possibility that she had untied herself and then tied herself back up, but he quickly dismissed it. If she could do that, she would have tied him up instead. Shaking his head, he offered a greeting.
“…Good morning.”
“Morning.”
Dokyun tilted his head, noticing something slightly different about the way Eun-chae was mimicking him.
“Yeah, morning.”
“Mhm, morning.”
Eun-chae’s head bobbed up and down. Dokyun narrowed his eyes at her for a moment before sighing and getting to his feet.
Now that she was awake, he had to feed her something.
The question of what to make weighed on him. There wasn't much she could eat comfortably while tied up like that.
I could make her porridge again, but I feel bad feeding her only that…
A low groan escaped his lips. He glanced at Eun-chae, who was staring at him vacantly, and a new idea began to form.
Should I just untie her from the bed?
She seemed calm for now. It would probably be fine to just release the straps connecting her to the bed, leaving the handcuffs on her wrists and ankles.
If nothing else, the cuffs on her ankles would restrict her movement.
Having made his decision, Dokyun glared at Eun-chae and spoke in a threatening tone.
“I’m going to untie the bed straps now.”
“Untie?”
“I’ve said this over and over, but don’t even think about trying anything funny.”
“Okay.”
Her reply was crisp and clear.
Dokyun let out a sharp breath, keeping his entire body tense as he began to release the straps connected to the bed, one by one, starting from the top.
From the straps on her shoulders to the ones on her waist and legs. After he had undone them all, he looked at Eun-chae. She lay there blankly for a moment, then rolled over and stretched her body out.
Dokyun drew in a short breath as he watched her.
Well, she was tied to a bed all day. It’s no wonder she’s stiff.
A pang of guilt pricked at him, but it couldn’t be helped. Go Eun-chae was a dangerous personality, after all. Awkwardly scratching his cheek, Dokyun approached Eun-chae, lifted her into his arms, and continued speaking.
“If you need to move, I’ll carry you like this. So if you need to go to the bathroom or anything, tell me.”
“Okay.”
Eun-chae replied, curling up tightly and resting her head against Dokyun’s chest.
As he watched her bury her face in his chest and sniff him, Dokyun thought she was a lot like a wild animal.
Hmm, when you think about it, is that really wrong?
Considering her level of understanding of civilization was practically prehistoric, calling her a wild animal didn’t seem too far off. He let out a small chuckle. Arriving at the dining table, he set Eun-chae down in a chair, then headed for the kitchen and asked her a question.
“Is there anything you want to eat?”
“Something I want to eat.”
“Yeah, something you want to eat.”
“Honeybee-nim.”
Flinch.
Dokyun’s body jolted at her reply. He turned his head with a stiff, creaking motion and saw Eun-chae staring at him blankly.
“Honeybee-nim.”
“…I’m not food.”
Dokyun gripped his trembling fingertips and moved out of Eun-chae’s line of sight. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.
It can’t be, right…?
She wasn’t clever enough with words to speak in metaphors or roundabout expressions. It couldn’t possibly mean what he thought it meant.
…In that case.
Feeling a sense of dread rise within him, Dokyun cautiously peeked his head out toward the dining table. His eyes met Eun-chae’s, and he quickly ducked back behind the kitchen counter.
The image of Eun-chae licking his nose when he woke up flashed through his mind. Then, the memory of her sniffing him while he held her.
His thoughts focused on a single point, and one possibility surfaced.
Could it be that Go Eun-chae wanted to eat people?
Shudder.
Dokyun’s body trembled at the thought, a primal fear for his life washing over him.
Danger.
Surely not. It couldn’t be. Honestly, it was a ridiculous idea. But still, you never knew.
I’ll feed her so much she won’t even be able to think about wanting to eat anything else…!
He would stuff her until her stomach burst, until the very thought of wanting to eat something else was erased from her mind.
His decision made, Dokyun shot to his feet and scanned the kitchen with the eyes of a hawk searching for prey. Satiety. All that mattered was satiety. He had to make a meal so filling she’d feel like she was going to explode.
And when it came to feeling full, there was one clear answer.
Meat!
It had to be meat.
*
Dokyun brought an amount of meat to the table that seemed excessive even for two people.
“Eat.”
His tone was laced with wariness. He watched Eun-chae stare blankly at the meat, then remembered something he’d forgotten and handed her a fork.
She wouldn’t know how to use chopsticks, so a fork seemed like the better option.
“Use this to pick it up and eat.”
“Okay.”
He heard her reply and watched to see what she would do. At her next action, he covered his eyes with his hand.
“…It’s the other way around.”
“Huh?”
Eun-chae was holding the fork upside down, trying to stab the meat with the end of the handle.
He let out a deep sigh, then moved to sit next to her. He took the fork from her hand, wiped it once, and placed it back in her hand correctly. He then placed his own hand over hers to teach her how to use it.
“You pierce the meat with this part, the tines. Yes, like that. Then put it in your mouth.”
Dokyun watched her, his heart pounding with the fear that she might stab her own tongue. He let out a sigh of relief when she put the meat in her mouth and immediately pulled the fork out.
“Right, that’s how you eat.”
“Okay.”
That should be good enough. Just as he thought that and started to return to his seat, he felt a sensation on his thigh. He glared down at her.
“…What are you doing?”
Eun-chae was poking his thigh with the fork. A brief silence followed. She slowly lifted her head to meet his gaze and spoke again.
“Meat.”
Flinch!
Tension shot through Dokyun’s body once more.
“I-I’m not for eating…”
His voice trembled uncontrollably. When Eun-chae tilted her head in confusion, Dokyun forced the corners of his mouth into a stiff smile and pointed a finger at the table.
“That is meat. For eating.”
Then, after watching her nod, he pointed his finger at himself.
“I am a person. Not for eating.”
After he finished, Eun-chae looked back and forth between the meat and Dokyun, then gave a small nod and pierced a piece of meat with her fork.
Dokyun flinched as the fork sank deep into the meat. When Eun-chae looked up at him, he plastered an awkward smile on his face, patted her head, and offered praise.
“Yes, good job.”
“Good job?”
“Yes.”
At his answer, Eun-chae tilted her head again.
“But it didn’t hurt yet?”
Her follow-up question made Dokyun’s hand freeze.
“…You can do a good job without being in pain. Hurting isn’t a good thing.”
The words tumbled out of him before he could stop them. Feeling a pang in his chest, Dokyun abandoned his plan to return to his seat and sat down next to Eun-chae, continuing to speak.
“A good deed is something that makes people smile. When you do something, and both you and the other person can smile together, that’s a good deed.”
“Eun-ah can smile.”
At her words, Dokyun looked up. Eun-chae was there, her face contorting stiffly into a crooked, lopsided smile.
It was a contrived, almost grotesque expression.
Dokyun watched her, his hand clenching into a fist before he relaxed it and placed it on her cheek.
“You can’t force a smile. It won’t come out. When you’re truly happy, that’s when it comes out naturally.”
Dokyun spoke gently, using his hand to pull up the corners of her mouth.
“A smile that appears on your face before you even realize it—that’s a real smile of happiness. It’s not something you can do just because you want to, so don’t force yourself to smile like that.”
“…I don’t really understand.”
Her reply made his chest feel heavy again. Suddenly, he recalled what he had been told about her.
The doctor had said she couldn’t feel emotions. Eun-seol had called her a madwoman who surrendered her body to instinct and impulse.
Watching her actions, those words were understandable.
But now, Dokyun realized they were all wrong.
Eun-chae simply didn’t know.
She didn’t know what emotions existed, and she didn’t know any way to express herself other than through instinct.
It wasn’t that the doctor or Eun-seol were wrong. It was only natural that they wouldn’t know. To the doctor, Eun-chae was a disease. To Eun-seol, Eun-chae was a burden that had always tormented her.
Neither of them was in a position to see Eun-chae clearly. That must have been how these misunderstandings arose.
Dokyun’s gaze studied Eun-chae, who was staring at him blankly.
Suddenly, he began to understand something.
Why she had tried to hurt him every time they met.
Because that was the only form of expression she knew.
Because that was the only way she knew how to express herself.
His mind replayed the past. It replayed every encounter he’d had with Go Eun-chae.
The first time, the second time, the third time. She had always whispered words of love to him.
The reason she had also brandished her fingernails, the reason she had brandished a knife, must have been because, to Go Eun-chae, he was a ‘bad child.’
Because he had never once reciprocated her feelings, because he had ignored them. That must have been why.
And so, she had expressed herself in her own way.
The meaning behind her actions was, ultimately, a plea for him to look at her.
It was her way of conveying her feelings.
The reason she hadn't had an episode this time was…
…because I haven’t rejected Go Eun-chae even once.
Because he was accepting her, accommodating her. Because he wasn’t denying her. Because he was looking at her.
She just didn’t know. What actions were appropriate for what situations, how to express certain emotions.
She didn’t know any of it.
Suddenly, a soft “Ah” of realization escaped him.
You can’t know what no one has ever taught you. It’s only natural to be ignorant of what you’ve never learned.
And what’s more, no one had ever taught Eun-chae. She was born from the dregs of emotion and, having learned nothing, remained frozen in that place.
The only thing Eun-chae knew was impulse, and the only thing she knew how to do was inflict pain.
She had always treated him according to her own common sense, with the only expressions she knew.
“…You’ll come to understand it naturally later.”
As he spoke, Dokyun found himself wishing she could learn so much more.
He wished she could leave this small house and see the new sprouts peeking their heads out, feel the still-chilly air. He wished she could close her eyes and hear the sounds of birds and insects, that she could come to know sensations other than pain.
And so, he said it.
“After we eat, do you want to go out to the garden?”
It was an incredibly dangerous statement, one uttered purely on emotion. But as he said it, he didn’t feel a shred of regret.
At his words, Eun-chae tilted her head, her eyes darting around for a moment before she nodded. A small smile broke out on Dokyun’s face.
“Okay. Let’s go out after we finish eating.”
“Okay.”
After her reply, Dokyun picked up his utensils. Watching him, Eun-chae finally pierced a piece of meat and pushed it into her mouth.