Three Days Before the Exam
Three days before the exam. The library was already packed with students hunched over their desks, cramming. So much for the lie that if you just studied hard, you could party all you wanted once you got to college... Yeah. In the end, life really was just one endless stretch of studying. Elementary school, middle and high school, all study. Even in college, more studying... and apparently you even had to study while playing games.
"...Ugh..."
I'd been sitting in that cramped position for hours, so I stretched, stood up, and stepped outside for a quick change of scenery. The view of the university campus from the library veranda was refreshingly vibrant. Couples already holding hands and strolling around, groups of female students chatting on benches, even a male student sprinting at full speed because he was late for class... Seeing all that overflowing energy made me feel skeptical about wasting my time clinging to textbooks like this. Everyone else seemed to be genuinely enjoying college life, chasing their dreams and spending their time meaningfully. I was the only one stuck in what felt like completely pointless days.
What if I just quietly disappeared like this? Or died? Would anyone even remember me? My parents had passed away early, I didn't have a girlfriend. At most, a few friends might reach out. "...Ugh... Whatever. If I just get good grades now, life will be easier later. Once I've made enough money, I'll just live comfortably by myself, playing games all day..."
"....."
Whoooosh—
A sudden cold wind slammed into me, reminding me once again of the biggest problem buried deep inside me.
The problem of Yoo Soyeon.
I stared blankly at the couples chatting in the distance and fell into thought. Dating, huh.
...To be honest, it was a little embarrassing to admit, but I was a pathetic lifelong solo who didn't even know the first letter of the word "romance." I'd never really had strong feelings about dating before, but...
'...Honestly, it doesn't make any sense that someone like her would like me and follow me around.'
A tiny part of me felt greedy.
...Truthfully, Yoo Soyeon's appearance matched my ideal type so perfectly that it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say she was one hundred percent it. No, objectively speaking, she was beautiful enough that any guy would feel attracted to her. To put it bluntly, who would dislike a girl with big breasts, a pretty face, and a great body? The slight cuteness that came from her somewhat small stature matched my ideal type perfectly too.
But if there was one thing that bothered me the most...
'....She seems to have some... mental issues....Hmm...'
She had definitely been a bright junior in front of me, but it felt like she carried some unpleasant traumas. It seemed she'd suffered from domestic abuse since childhood, along with other bad memories.
"...Well, if I treat her well, maybe that'll get better."
Clink—
I sank a drink can into the trash bin, then returned to the library with a much lighter heart. It was a small study group of five people helping each other with difficult subjects. Even though the number was small, we complemented one another and were having a surprisingly good time.
"Senior Jinwoo, this part looks a bit weird... Could you take a look?"
"Where?"
. . .
"Ah, everyone worked hard today!"
"Good luck on tomorrow's exam~"
"Jinwoo, do you happen to know where Professor ㅁㅁ is? He's the major professor, right?"
"Ah, yes. Shall I tell you?"
As I left the library I'd grown sick of, I pressed the elevator button for a female senior I knew who was looking for the professor.
[Ding—]
[The doors are opening.]
"....Ah—"
She was wearing glasses and a white sweater, holding a major textbook in her arms. It was unmistakably Yoo Soyeon. I'd been avoiding running into her under the excuse of needing to think, but... here we were.
"....."
"...."
"...Senior. It's been a while."
Yoo Soyeon's eyes were fixed on the female senior standing beside me, waiting blankly for directions.
"...It's, it's a study group."
"....Ah..."
....What was I doing? Why was I making excuses? I wasn't sure if the analogy fit, but it felt like the instinctive reaction of prey standing before a hunter. Like if I didn't get out of this situation right now, if I didn't make some excuse, something terrible would happen. A subconscious instinct.
"....Another... older person..."
Yoo Soyeon stared intently at the senior beside me for a moment, then met my eyes and smiled sweetly. She stepped closer, leaned in, and whispered quietly.
"...Then... after the exam... let's meet... Senior."
"....Uh, yeah."
"I'll be waiting."
...The glasses looked pretty on her too.
###
"Alright, please submit your papers. Thank you all for your hard work on the exam."
"....Aaaaaagh!!!!"
"Ah, is it finally over? PC bang?"
The impatient guys kicked open the lecture hall door and bolted out the moment the professor disappeared. I was also packing my writing utensils into my bag, slowly getting ready to head back to my one-room apartment.
"....J-Jinwoo. Does this make any sense?"
"Huh?"
Park Jungmin. A pretty close male classmate of mine. The last exam was for a different lecture than the one I shared with Yoo Soyeon, and since Shin Dongbin wasn't in this one either, I'd started chatting with him out of boredom.
"Fuck, I pulled an all-nighter but only studied the wrong chapters.....Aaaaaaaaa......"
"....."
"....Ah, honestly I barely studied at all, but still, not looking at anything at all is kinda messed up. Insane...."
My condolences. But it wasn't really my problem. Still, saying that out loud would be rude, so I figured I'd just say a quick goodbye and bolt.
"....Good work."
"...What kind of 'good work' is that? You're supposed to hang out with me from now on."
"Huh?"
Suddenly? My eyes widened as I stared at Park Jungmin in front of me.
"Why, you wanna go back to that hunting pocha you took me to before? I don't go to places like that."
"....Nooo, not that this time. Let's go to a club."
"....What?"
My head shook back and forth like a metronome, three times per second. What kind of bolt from the blue was this? I was a genuine homebody who'd been planning to crawl under my blanket and take a nap.
"...Ah, I'm not going. I'm really not going."
"Come on, the five guys here already decided we're all going together. Let's go, yeah?"
"....I said I'm not going?"
"Ah, this bastard's playing hard to get again. You always say no, but today just come hang out with us. Yeah?"
"...."
Now that I thought about it, I'd turned down all of Park Jungmin's invitations to hang out with every excuse in the book. Those refusals had piled up so much that turning this one down suddenly felt awkward.
'....A club? I am... kind of curious.'
"...Fine, whatever. But if I want to leave, I'll leave on my own. Cool?"
"Yeah, yeah. Let's go, you idiot!"
####
Boom-boom— Boom-boom—
The DJ's thumping, resonant beats and the provocative older women walking by completely scrambled my senses. At first I'd tried to dance awkwardly, but the sudden feeling of strangers pressing their bodies against mine made me slowly drift away from the center. I ended up sitting on a chair in a corner, taking a break.
"....Seriously, this place really doesn't suit me, Jungmin."
"Why? It's fun. There are tons of pretty noonas..."
"....Well... yeah, that's true. I'll just have a couple drinks and head out."
"Suit yourself. Oh, found my type.... I'm out?"
"....."
Glug—
I glanced at how much beer I'd drunk. Two glasses. Drinking any more felt excessive... Time to head home. I brushed off my pants, stood up, and tried to leave the club.
Tap tap—
"Did you come alone?"
"Sorry?"
Boom-boom—
The constantly flashing lights and the deafening club music were completely stealing my soul. The blonde woman with short hair in front of me had unique piercings in her ears. She suddenly leaned her body lightly against mine and started talking.
"No, to be direct... you're kinda my type. You look cute."
"....Ah, uh...?"
"Wanna get out of here together?"
"....."
I didn't really understand what "get out of here together" meant in a place like this. But it was clear that I needed to escape this headache-inducing space, so I nodded and let the nameless woman take my hand as she led me outside.
"....Ugh..."
"Oh dear, are you okay...? Want to go for round two with just us?"
"...Round two?"
"Yeah. Let's not drink too much... and have some tasty snacks with noona instead."
She introduced herself as Lee Jia. She was twenty-two. I followed Jia noona into some nameless bar.
"Two more beers here please~"
"....Uh, noona? I really can't drink anymore....Ugh...."
"Aww, it's fine. You've never drunk until you blacked out, have you?"
".....Well, that's true... but I'm scared..."
"....Aww, just drink, drink."
My head was ringing as another beer glass was pushed in front of me. Why did the food taste so good? Hummm— Hummm—
"....Ah, I... I really have to stop. I can't eat anymore."
"Okay. We ordered a lot, so let's take our time."
Hummm—
During the brief moment of rest I'd been granted, I was blankly resting my head on the table when a phone call started vibrating nonstop.
[17 unread messages]
'....Ah, right. I was supposed to... reply.'
I turned off the constantly vibrating phone screen and decided to get out of this situation first.
"...Ugh."
I forced down my churning stomach and staggered to my feet.
"Hey. Jinwoo, where are you going?"
"...I'm done drinking. Here, the bill...."
Jingle—
The bar door opened, and I managed to stumble outside and lean against a nearby wall. Where was I again? I tapped my spinning head and slowly got my bearings before starting to walk toward my one-room apartment.
"Aww, don't go alone. You can barely even walk straight right now..."
"...I can manage. I'm fine."
'This kid's got a pretty decent body from working out... and his face is my type too.... Jackpot...!'
Jia noona smiled faintly and began pulling me along.
"Going home? Let's go together. Since I made you drink so much, I'll take you there."
"...Ah, yes. Thank you..."
"Where should I go? Bus stop?"
"....No, that way... is my one-room..."
"Ah, you mentioned you lived alone, right?"
"....Yes, I... live alone. I do."
"Where is it?"
"....Over there.....I can... go... by myself..."
"Mmm. I don't really want to just leave you though...."
Squish—
"....N-Noona...?!"
A soft, warm sensation pressed against my back. She leaned her face against my neck as if drunk, then slowly opened her mouth.
"...Can I come up to your place... and have some ramen?"