The Regressor Has Lost Her Mind
The regressor has finally lost her mind. The 56th iteration. It began as a small connection. It was when Yoo Soyeon was acting on her own to find the fragments of the constellations, and there, she met Kim Jinu, an Incarnation rumored to have been chosen by Hermes. Because he was a top-tier player, a rarity in Korea, she decided to make him her companion in the next life as well.
The 80th iteration. The man before her eyes was burning all over. It was the Hellfire that burns until the moment of death. The agony of the fire she had experienced in her previous life seemed to transmit itself to her. "....Ugh, ah, ah—" The man couldn't even scream due to the torment of the flames. All Yoo Soyeon could do was sit blankly by his side, watching his final moments as he died. "....Ah—" Her one eye, opened through the blood dripping from her head, was filled with tears. It was supposed to be her who died. Though she never grew accustomed to the pain and terror of death, she was always prepared to accept the next life. ...But.
"....Why, for heaven's sake, why...."
"....."
This man was always like this. A person who would risk his life for a friend even if she only treated him with a little kindness, even if they only shared a few words. A wave of nausea surged through her at the thought that she might have been using this man.
"....No, no.... This isn't what I wanted—"
Crackle— Crackle—
"....."
Along with the sound of the corpse burning, a handful of ash was pushed by the wind, brushing past her body. It’s alright. There is a next life—she would never again allow such futile sacrifices and deaths.
The 99th iteration. Inside an apartment building. Isolated by the Great Void, Kim Jinu confessed his ability. That right before death, by sacrificing himself, he could imprint Hermes' Blessing onto the person he desired.
"....Nonsense. Ugh... Don't do it." Yoo Soyeon refused firmly. No matter the situation where both would die, she had no desire to witness another death. Each of those memories remained as trauma for her, and every time she saw him in the next life, it left a deep scar.
"....Anyway. If we stay like this, we both die. It would be more hopeful if you, Yoo Soyeon, the most powerful Awakener in Korea, survived."
"....I said, don't...!!!" Yoo Soyeon gritted her teeth, desperately trying to shake off Jinu's hand. But—
"....Please, take care of the rest. Soyeon."
"....Ah—"
It’s alright. It will be alright. In the next life... surely. Jinu would greet her without losing his smile.
The 1XXth iteration. The party was wiped out, swept away by a massive volcanic eruption from Mount Paektu. In a cruel twist, he hugged Yoo Soyeon just before the magma poured down, dying before she did.
The 2XXth iteration. The 4XXth iteration. . . .
Slap—!
".....Eh." Kim Jinu stared at the woman he was meeting for the first time, his eyes wide after being suddenly slapped. He was angry at the sudden situation and his cheek stung, but seeing the state of the woman before him, he couldn't help but ask one question.
"....Are, are you okay?"
".....Hic, h-hic...."
"....Oh, oh...."
Yoo Soyeon collapsed, hugging him like a small child. Nearly 400 iterations of regression. Throughout them, this man had never betrayed her, and no matter what happened, he had believed in her and trusted her. That was why... to Yoo Soyeon, who had wanted to give up on everything, on the world itself, this man was her final bastion.
"....Hic, h-hic.... Jinu, I don't want to see it anymore.... You dying, dying....."
"....What, what is that...."
The man trailed off, but first, he embraced the woman before him. He patted her head and listened to everything she rambled about.
"....Hmm, I see. So you were a regressor... and you've lived over 400 lives...."
"....."
Yoo Soyeon's blue pupils crinkled as she let out a hollow laugh.
"....You believe all of it?"
"Pardon?"
"...Ah, no. I mean... how can you accept the fact that I'm a regressor... just like that?"
"Hey. With black holes appearing in the middle of Seoul... how could I not believe that?"
"...."
It was a fair point. Yoo Soyeon kissed the man before her without a word. If it had been a few years ago when laws still held sway, she might have been arrested for sexual harassment, but in this life, she just wanted to be with Kim Jinu. ...A sweet time. She spent four consecutive lives with him before finally gathering her broken mind and deciding to shoulder the burden of a regressor once more. However—without him. If she had to see him die again... she might truly go insane.
Yoo Soyeon's mind was already shattered. That was a fact she herself was aware of. She simply created "vacation iterations," and whenever her mind was pushed to the limit, she would visit Jinu and simply hold him. Like that—the 780th iteration.
She faced the bug of this world. The source of all these events, the main villain. The sky was turning deep red. The sun was turning black, emitting a strange, nauseating sensation, and the ground was heated so intensely that it hissed the moment skin touched it. In the midst of it, Yoo Soyeon faced the Outer God. On the face of a regressor who had lived nearly 800 lives, no emotion could be found; she merely looked at the thing before her with a cynical smile.
"....."
"...You made it this way. No matter how long it takes... ugh. I will come back to you and blow that damn head of yours off."
Yoo Soyeon stanched the blood flowing from her abdomen, glaring at the Outer God with a fierce aura. Eyes filled with a thousand years of resentment and hatred. In that ominous atmosphere, it quietly smiled at her.
"....Shut up and just kill me. I know I'm not a match for you yet."
"....."
"....Bullshit—"
The 781st iteration. Yoo Soyeon began to walk in silence, feeling a sense of incongruity. No, it couldn't be.
"You ask when I fell for you? ....Ah, I didn't fall for you. I'm not that shallow."
It can't be. That's impossible.
"Do you know this? Soyeon, you look prettiest when you smile."
Thud—
He wasn't there. That expression, the one he always looked at her with, bright and sunny, filled with curiosity. The man who had to lean against her to take a nap in the Seoul Station waiting room—
"....Ugh—"
Her stomach churned. Her head was spinning, and as if unable to accept the current situation, she just stared blankly at her surroundings, her legs giving out. And then.
From the lips of the blank-faced Yoo Soyeon, incomprehensible mutterings began to flow.
"....So, sorr...y...."
She began to prostrate herself, kneeling on the ground. Please. Please, give him back.
"I was wrong... I was wrong.... I was wrong...."
This is what you wanted, isn't it? You wanted me to break and shatter, didn't you?
".....Ah...."
She could feel it instinctively. He—was no longer in this world.
".....Ah... ah... ah....."
She ran through the waiting room like a madwoman. The monsters that were sluggishly attacking her burst under her sword strikes, and Yoo Soyeon, like someone who had lost her mind, dragged her sword around, covered in blood for a long time. And then, soon.
She committed suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. ... Even in the 17 subsequent regressions, Kim Jinu could not be found.
There is such a protagonist. An infinite regressor. The regressor fights against powerful enemies for an eternity, rolling through the mud, and eventually saves the world. Then, what is the end of a regressor who can sway this world? ...What is the ending? What compensation should a lonely hero receive, one who has ground through thousands of lives, faced death, and walked the thorny path to the end with forcibly stitched-up wounds? This story is about her, exhausted to the core, leaving to find her final sanctuary and her dulled love.
"...."
A high school girl wearing the uniform of Cheonglim Girls' High School was passing through the Seoul Station waiting room in silence. She was looking around blankly, searching for someone.
"....Whoa, is she a celebrity? She's seriously fucking pretty. I just saw her face as she passed by."
"Shh. Should I go get her phone number?"
"Forget it. Don't you see the uniform? She's a high schooler. And girls like that are 100 percent taken."
Her slender proportions and appearance, revealed even while just walking, were perfect for drawing the attention of people preparing for their holiday travels. However, she didn't care about people's gazes. She just kept walking around, looking for someone.
Crash—
"....Ah—"
Yoo Soyeon was looking around frantically when she collided with a man running toward her and fell over. How long had it been since she felt the sensation of being pushed over by someone? Since she had reduced almost all her power to nothing in exchange for returning the world to its original state, the fact that she had returned to a very weak nineteen-year-old girl was not something Yoo Soyeon was accustomed to.
"....I'm sorry, I, I was... looking for someone...."
She grabbed the hand offered by the man before her, awkwardly bracing herself with her arm. And then...
"Are you okay?"
"....."
"....Shh, it's my fault. I was impatient because I thought I'd be late... I'm really sorry...!!"
"......"
'....Huh? What is this?'
I looked at the high school girl staring blankly at my face, feeling puzzled. Since she looked like an idol-level beauty I'd seen on YouTube, I was afraid I might be mistaken for a criminal and tried to pull my hand away, but it wouldn't budge.
'What the. Why won't this come off?'
"....Do you happen to know me?"
".....Hic, h-hic...."
"....Huh? A, are you crying—?!"
Murmur, murmur—
I could feel the gazes of the people. A flashback of my life began to cross my mind. A flower snake. Sexual harassment. Prison. Even the clauses of the Juvenile Protection Act were unfolding at high speed in my head.
"....Th, that, are you okay? I don't know what happened, but.... I, I'll listen."
"....."
Her hand was still gripped tightly. Surprised by my words that my hand hurt, she covered her flushed face and tried to step back to escape the spot.
"....Th, hey, over there...?!"
"W...Wait. ....Definitely. I will find you again."
Leaving behind a strange final remark.