Entangled Hearts
The enormous imperial audience chamber stretched before us. Inside, Eryk and I lingered in a current of awkwardness, stealing glances at each other like nervous cadets. The empress had yet to appear, so we remained frozen, unable to release the hands we’d clasped together.
“Lieutenant Colonel… please let go of my hand.”
“…I don’t want to.”
“……”
“How could I let a filthy vampire I finally caught slip away?”
Eryk gazed at me as he spoke. Despite the harsh words, his face held no trace of hatred. His cheeks burned crimson, and his eyes kept darting sideways, unable to meet mine.
“You mustn’t say such things in front of Her Majesty.”
My own face flushed as I turned my head away. Looking at him directly felt like it might make my heart explode.
“……”
“……”
It was unbearably awkward. Our relationship hadn’t changed all that drastically, yet the air between us had grown this stifling.
“Just because we’ve formed a relationship, don’t assume I’ll l-like you, Lieutenant Colonel.”
I tossed the words at him and whipped my head to the side. In response, Eryk gripped my hand tighter and yanked me toward him.
“…!?”
“If I do it one more time, will you like me then?”
“Huh…?”
Eryk looked down at me, his expression tense, and asked the question with surprising earnestness. My small heart hammered wildly. I liked this man. I liked him so much it felt like madness. Yet at the same time, I resented him just as fiercely.
Hadn’t I told him only recently that I needed time?
…He keeps interrupting.
My reflexive rejection toward Eryk refused to let this fluttering excitement settle fully inside me. Once a little time passed, the thrill would fade and suspicion would creep in—wondering if he had some hidden motive. After a long stretch of silence, I decided it would be best to clarify things here and now. I would turn him down, but gently. The indirect approach also let me leave a small opening.
…I don’t want to see him hurt.
I couldn’t bear the thought of Eryk wearing a wounded expression because of me.
“A relationship between a vampire and a human is… in-inappropriate, I believe.”
“……”
Even as I spoke, I faltered. What if he took those words as my true feelings? If he did, what expression should I wear? Should I hide behind the same blank mask as always?
But contrary to my worries, Eryk didn’t look hurt at all.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“…!!”
“No matter how inappropriate the relationship is, it doesn’t matter to me.”
As he spoke, Eryk’s fingers brushed my lips, then slipped inside my mouth.
“Wha—ah you doooiing?! (What are you doing?!)”
Startled, I blurted the question. Eryk smiled sweetly and teased my fangs.
“These are supposed to be a vampire’s fangs? Come on, at least make the lie believable.”
“……”
“They’re simply adorable.”
He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the saliva from his hand. I stared at him and muttered.
“…This is exactly what I dislike about you.”
“……”
“Apologize.”
“What if I refuse?”
“……”
“How much could you possibly hate me?” Eryk snorted. “More than I hate myself for losing my family?”
He reached out and ruffled my hair, the gesture almost condescending. Yet I couldn’t summon any anger. No—I simply couldn’t.
My heart feels like it’s going to burst…!!
Horrible man. Infuriating man. Why did he keep toying with me like this? Where had the person who’d been so guilt-stricken and lost just moments ago gone? Only this shameless, selfish version remained. And yet… why was I drawn to him? My chest ached. I didn’t know if I was allowed to feel this way.
Guilt toward my fallen subordinates surged over me. At the same time, Bermann’s face rose in my mind, and fresh remorse toward Eryk followed. Even while holding his hand, I hated myself for being unable to smile—for thinking only of those who had left us, swallowing my tears. I felt unbearably sorry to Eryk for trying to accept someone like me.
If our relationship continued like this, I would undoubtedly be completely consumed by him. That terrified me. What if everything about me was exposed and I was cast aside? The fear that my mind was far more rotten and decayed than anyone imagined—that I would be abandoned the moment it showed—gripped me.
Once I recognized the feeling called love, the emotion called fear only grew larger. And yet I could not stop myself from moving closer to Eryk.
“…Lieutenant Colonel.”
“What is it?”
“Just holding hands… isn’t enough anymore… Hug me. Please hug me.”
“……”
I had completely forgotten military discipline. Like a child, I begged him to hold me. If he didn’t bind me tightly, I felt I might split in two. If no one embraced me with strength, I wouldn’t be able to feel that I was truly here.
“Hng…”
“Was that too tight?”
“No, no… it’s perfect.”
I clung to Eryk and buried my face in his chest. My body grew hotter by the second.
“Hngh……”
“Stop making those embarrassing noises.”
“I can’t help it…? When you hold me it feels so good… ngh.”
“…!!”
When I frowned, Eryk’s face flushed scarlet. I looked at him and offered a small smile.
“Good boy…? Shall I pat your head?”
The moment I smiled and spoke, he released me.
“Ah……”
“Enough…! Have you developed a habit of playing with your superior?”
“…Tch. You’re the one who was tormenting me earlier.”
“……”
It seemed he had conveniently forgotten who had been toying with the other until they nearly broke. A sense of injustice welled up, and tears threatened to spill. Just then—
Click. Click. Click.
Elegant footsteps echoed from the far end of the hall.
“…She’s here.”
Eryk’s expression turned serious at once. I quickly retrieved my fallen cap, placed it on my head, and stood at attention beside him. Right on cue, the empress appeared before us.
“Greetings, Your Majesty.”
“We behold the Empire’s sun, Your Imperial Majesty.”
“…We behold the Empire’s sun, Your Imperial Majesty.”
We both knelt in greeting. The empress smiled brightly and settled onto her ornate throne. She looked down at me.
“It has been a while, Valentine.”
“…It is an honor to stand before the Empire’s sun.”
“Must you be so formal?”
She gestured for us to raise our heads. When we did, I saw her sipping tea with a gentle smile.
“Thanks to you two heroes, the Empire remains strong. I am always grateful.”
She praised us warmly. In my heart I wanted to say the credit belonged to our sacrificed comrades, not us. But uttering such words before the empress would mean—
My head would roll immediately.
I had worked so hard to earn her favor. If I earned her displeasure now, everything would be ruined. So I slipped into my role.
“It is all thanks to Your Majesty’s wise insight.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
She set down her teacup, rose from the throne, and began walking toward us.
“Well then… enough with the formalities……”
With a soft chuckle, she approached me.
“Your complexion has improved, Major.”
“It must be because I’ve returned to the battlefield, Your Majesty.”
I kept my face carefully blank. The empress smiled, satisfied.
“Really, you should stop with such stiff formalities.”
“……”
“Valentine, I missed you…!!”
Beaming, she pulled me into a tight embrace. She paid no mind to whether Eryk stood beside me or not.
“I was so worried when I heard you weren’t well yesterday! Can’t you at least ask permission before falling ill?”
She ruffled my hair vigorously. It hurt. Please stop…
Lieutenant Colonel…! Save me. At this rate I’ll be trapped at another tea party!!
I shot him a pleading look, but he only shook his head. Who had called this bastard lovely? He was nothing but despicable.
“Today we’re having a five-hour tea party! Let’s enjoy ourselves!”
“…S-save me.”
“Shhh…! Doesn’t that sound wonderful?”
“……”
Her eyes sparkled with excitement. I could only sigh and nod in resignation.
* * *
“…Ugh. My stomach.”
After the tea party finally ended, I walked down the corridor rubbing my bloated belly. It was miserable. I had consumed an entire mountain of sugar. With blood-drinking time approaching, my digestion had slowed to a crawl.
“I think I’m going to be sick… uwp…!!”
Just as I was about to retch—
“Major.”
“Lieutenant Colonel…?”
Eryk appeared suddenly and stroked my head.
“……”
“Are you all right?”
I hated him. I hated him so, so much. It felt like mockery lurked behind that blank expression.
“Don’t you think you went too far?”
“…We return to the battlefield tomorrow. I wanted to feed you something good.”
He knelt before me. I simply stared at him with an expressionless face.
“…Are you sulking?”
“I don’t know.”
“……”
“…Eating alone doesn’t taste good at all.”
He flinched at my words.
“Please step aside. I’m tired and wish to rest.”
When I spoke with a crumpled expression, he offered his hand, saying he would escort me.
“……”
“If you don’t want to, just say so.”
“…I never said I didn’t want to.”
The moment I took his hand, Eryk gave me a gentle smile. We walked down the corridor hand in hand.
…I wonder if his hands are rough.
After so many years on the battlefield, I worried his palms would be calloused. Perhaps it was nerves, but my stomach felt even more bloated. Greasy sweets never sat well with me. A little blood would probably settle it. The only blood available here, however, was the revolting stuff from pigs.
…Would Eryk give me some if I asked?
I worried that if I asked first, his feelings might cool. Because of that fear, I could only hesitate and glance up at him.
“Ugh…”
“Is your stomach still hurting?”
Eryk stopped when he heard the sound I made while fighting back nausea.
“…It’s not that.”
“……?”
When my words faltered in embarrassment, Eryk tilted his head, then seemed to reach an answer. He began unbuttoning his collar.
“This?”
He pointed at the bite mark on his neck. Mortified, I covered my face and nodded.