What Is Holy About This War?

As I charged out with the black sword in hand, the system flashed a message before my eyes.

This is what they call a holy war?

Where exactly was anything holy in this?

Blood sprayed in every direction. Everyone had lost their minds, swinging guns and blades inside the trenches.

"Kwaaaaah...!!"

"Guhk!"

"Diiiiiie!!!"

"Guhhh!!"

Allies against enemies. Allies against allies.

Enemies against allies. Enemies against enemies.

Without distinction, everyone tangled together in this narrow trench, thrashing desperately just to survive.

"...How can this possibly be a holy war..."

With unfocused eyes, I yanked the black sword free from the enemy I had just cut down.

-Schwaaak!!

"Guhk!"

The man vomited a thick spurt of blood. I stared at him blankly.

"You devilish bastards...!"

"......"

The soldier glared at me with pure hatred in his eyes. What kind of brainwashing had he endured to despise me this much? I had no idea.

But one thing was certain: my own brainwashed subordinates were dying the same way right now.

The moment that thought hit me, the guilt became unbearable. My stomach screamed at me to vomit everything I had eaten. Every muscle in my body convulsed, raising goosebumps across my skin. My heart rate spiked. My brain demanded more oxygen to keep my thoughts from shutting down. My breathing grew ragged.

...Panic attack...! No... I have to stay in control...!

PTSD had sunk its claws into me. After barely a month of peace, it seemed the trauma had grown stronger without a shred of shame. I felt my mind drifting away.

"N-no...! I'm not a monster...!"

My body was slipping beyond my control.

This can't happen.

If I went on a rampage here, my allies would be caught in it. The people brainwashed by my words. The soldiers who had become nothing ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠more than disposable tools. They would die meaningless deaths before they could even fulfill their roles.

I tried to stop my body by force, but it refused to listen. Guilt crushed down on me like a mountain. The faces of every ally I had killed floated clearly before my eyes. They whispered to me.

Hurry. Hurry and pay the price. A filthy vampire has no right to exist.

I wanted to deny it, but a part of me was already agreeing. In this life, I had ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠promised myself I would struggle harder, smile more happily. Yet here I was.

"The black sword...?"

My right arm, still gripping the blade, seemed to have other ideas. The sword slowly turned toward me.

"...!!"

This body had decided to erase me from the world. The overwhelming guilt had seized complete control.

"...Eryk... help... me......"

Calling out the name of the only person who could stop me, my superior, as my final words, I closed my eyes.

The tide of battle was turning ominous.

The trench had been filled mostly with wounded soldiers to begin with. To make things worse, the enemy charge after the bombardment had transformed the place into hell long ago.

"Captain...!! You can handle this, right!"

"Understood."

After ordering Kyle to take command of the soldiers on the opposite side, Eryk lit a cigarette.

"...Hoo."

With the cigarette between his lips, he drew both a pistol and a blade.

"Valentine. It looks like I'll finally understand today what it feels like to cut down your own kind..."

Saying this, Eryk looked forward.

"Kwaaak...!!"

"Cough...!"

"Guhk."

"Save me... save meee! My leeeeg!!"

Subordinates stabbed by blades and riddled with bullets crawled across the ground. Enemies kicked them, beat them, trampled them.

Eryk charged straight at them. He slid forward with fluid grace and calmly pulled the trigger. With every shot, new holes appeared in enemy chests and heads. One by one, the enemies fell where he passed. As their numbers grew, the battle began to reverse.

From far away came the sound of a woman's wild laughter. It seemed Valentine's two subordinates were fighting over there as well.

"Ahahaha...! This is so fun...!!"

"K-Kriha...! Stop! Those are allies, allies!"

"Ah, Jenny!"

Hearing the exchange, Eryk let out a dry chuckle. To laugh like a madwoman while butchering enemies on the battlefield.

"Retriever..."

That clearly wasn't her nickname, but she was a hunting dog all the same. Eryk rationalized it to himself.

In that moment, a surprise attack flew from among the corpses.

"Diiiiiie!!!"

-Bang!!

Without even looking, Eryk put a bullet through the enemy's head while slipping a fresh cigarette between his lips.

"Who shouts during a surprise attack? And with nothing but a dagger, too."

You should have at least grabbed a gun while you were at it, he thought as he lit the new cigarette.

"...Well, I suppose no one can hear it now anyway."

Eryk looked away from the corpse with the hole in its skull. It was horrific—twice as bad as the vampire corpses he had grown sick of seeing on the battlefield.

Is it really this painful simply because they ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠are the same race?

Little by little, Eryk began to ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠understand the kind of battlefields Valentine had survived. It was far worse than he had imagined. The act of killing your own kind—even if they were enemies, they were still human. The realization weighed on his shoulders like a heavy burden.

Simply pulling a trigger. The fierce, brilliant flame of a life that had burned so passionately extinguished in an instant. A single sweep of a machine gun rendered a person's entire life, their entire story, meaningless. A lead bullet placed a period at the end of a lifetime far too easily.

It was right when that truth began to terrify him.

"...Eryk... Eryyyyik......"

"Valen...tine...?"

Valentine staggered toward him, looking strangely out of sorts. She called his name without any honorifics.

"...Stop me."

"...What?"

"Ugh...!!"

"Major Valentine?!"

After begging him to stop her, she clutched the collar of her uniform and began to cry. Eryk noticed she was pointing the sword at her own neck.

"...I still want to live... Please... please."

"...!!"

With completely unfocused eyes, Valentine stared at him, tears rolling down her cheeks. The sounds of enemy combat had long since faded. He was supposed to declare victory. Instead, Eryk faced the worst crisis of the entire battle.

"Stop me... I'm begging you......"

The unfocused Valentine spoke to him as she turned the sword in his direction.

"Major, are you attempting insubordination right now?"

"......"

A faint smile formed on Valentine's lips. She said nothing more. It seemed she had completely lost consciousness.

Eryk broke into a cold sweat as he watched her.

She must have drunk a lot of blood.

Having confirmed she was in an awakened state, there was nothing more he could do. He could have simply let her die, but—

Don't die.

The version of himself who had once said those words apparently refused to allow Valentine's suicide either. For reasons he couldn't explain, Eryk's body was already moving to stop her.

It was warm.

When my consciousness finally returned, the first thing I felt was warmth. The air around me was so warm it was hard to believe we were still inside a trench.

Am I... all right?

The moment I tried to move—

"L-Lieutenant Colonel...! D-did you confirm that Major Valentine is okay?"

"...Yes. How many times do I have to say she's fine?"

"I'm sorry... She's just such an important benefactor to me that I can't calm down..."

I could hear Kriha and Eryk talking. Kriha's voice trembled on the edge of tears, while Eryk sounded exhausted.

Did Eryk stop me?

I cracked my eyes open just a sliver and looked toward his voice. There he was, his entire body wrapped in layer after layer of bandages. It was obvious a brutal fight had taken place.

"...!!"

"...Did the Major just move?"

"Huh? I didn't see anything."

"...Must have been my imagination."

I must have flinched at the sight of Eryk's injuries. Luckily they hadn't noticed, so I went back to pretending I was asleep.

"Anyway, you're the only witness, correct?"

"...Yes."

"Thank you for helping restrain her. Make sure we keep this quiet from now on."

"Of course."

It seemed Eryk had stopped my rampage, and with Kriha's help they had managed to subdue me without killing me.

"...Lieutenant Colonel, could you please tell me why Major Valentine ended up like that?"

Kriha grabbed Eryk as he was about to leave and asked, her face slightly scrunched up in a way that was unusual for her. She must have made the expression unconsciously out of worry for me.

Well done.

If it was Eryk, he would probably tell her everything here and add that she should manage the information carefully. Or so I thought.

What came out of Eryk's mouth was completely unexpected.

"Unfortunately, I cannot tell you."

"......"

"You are not to speak of this to anyone. Not even to Her Imperial Majesty."

Having said that, Eryk glanced at me and frowned.

"...There's nothing to be gained by spreading it around."

"Understood."

Kriha saluted after nodding in acceptance. Eryk returned the salute and walked away.

With my eyes still closed, I let out a stupid sound completely unbecoming of a soldier.

"...Huh?"

Kriha