Chapter 32
"The young miss's condition has stabilized to a certain extent. Her absorption of the essence is progressing quickly, so after a good night's sleep, she'll have no issues with daily life. Still, it would be best if she rests deeply for about a week."
The physician who had checked Aria's pulse spoke with a bright expression. I gazed at Aria, lying peacefully on the clean bed, breathing evenly, and let out a rough breath of my own.
It's over.
The calamity that had tormented my life had finally met its end. The excruciatingly long moments of pain had concluded so easily, borrowing the power of the ducal family, leaving me feeling emptier than I expected—yet joyful.
This feels so strange.
A feeble laugh bubbled up uncontrollably. I was overwhelmingly happy, yet achingly sad, my heart throbbing with sorrow. So many emotions surged through me like a tidal wave that I could barely feel them at all.
As the tension drained from my entire body, I staggered slightly, but a large hand landed on my shoulder, steadying me.
"Just one vial was enough?"
"Yes. At least for the next five years, she won't suffer from essence deficiency."
Kaiser couldn't bear to witness my wretched state with open eyes and ordered me to get treatment immediately. But I couldn't sleep until I saw Aria fully recovered. For the first time in my life, I'd thrown a tantrum, insisting on watching her absorb the essence with my own eyes. Amid the whirlwind of overwhelming emotions, it was hard to regain my senses.
Aria.
My little world.
I staggered over and knelt beside the sleeping Aria. Carefully lifting my mangled, blood-soaked hand, I brushed her cheek with a fingertip unstained by blood. Her pale cheek, unmistakably alive, warm with the heat of life.
"......You survived."
I finally exhaled the one sentence I'd swallowed down, afraid it would evaporate into a lie if spoken. Even though the situation felt unreal enough to pass for a dream, the warmth touching my fingertip dragged me into harsh reality, and tears fell.
"......Thank goodness......"
Sobbing quietly, I pressed my lips to the back of Aria's hand.
Finally. The lifelong wish I'd dreamed of and strived for had come true.
The surroundings fell silent, but I had no reason to care. Tears streaming endlessly, I clutched her pale hand with my trembling ones.
An indescribable waterfall of emotions crashed over me, and I couldn't lift my head. Though it must have been tedious to watch me shed tears without even a groan, Kaiser, Taylor, and the physician waited without a word for a long time until I came to my senses.
I don't know how long I cried, but when dizziness made me stagger again, Kaiser, who had been watching silently from behind, finally approached.
"You'll exhaust yourself like this. Do you need more time?"
Bending down, he used the long sash of his bathrobe—tied loosely around his waist—to gently wipe my tear-streaked face. The touch was so tender that I lost myself in it for a moment, then snapped back to reality upon realizing he was still wearing only that bathrobe.
"S-sorry. I'm fine now."
I rubbed my eyes roughly with the back of my hand and tried to stand from my crouched knees, but a wave of vertigo hit, making my body sway.
"Careful."
A large hand supported my back. Kaiser's expression remained calm, but I felt embarrassed for showing such an un-Sword Master-like sight before him.
I hurriedly tried to support myself, pouring strength into my legs, but they buckled again—my exhausted body had no power left.
"Tch."
Kaiser clucked his tongue slowly, then effortlessly lifted me and settled me onto his arm.
"I-I can walk on my own!"
My blood and dirt smeared onto his white bathrobe. Naturally horrified, I flailed in panic.
"As if. You'd collapse halfway."
At a loss for retort, I bit my lip hard. Truth be told, I was so drained that even keeping my mind straight was a struggle. Better to be carried than force it and cause an accident—that's how delirious I was.
"Taylor. Tell Maria to have the room next door livable within five minutes and prepare bathwater in its bathroom. Paul. Bring ointment for bruises."
"Yes, Master."
"Understood."
Exhausted from struggling, I went limp in his arms, and Kaiser, satisfied, issued his orders. Taylor left the room with quick steps, while Physician Paul rummaged through his kit and handed over an ointment.
"Let's go."
Firmly holding my sagging, fatigue-ridden form, Kaiser started walking. I obediently let him carry me out of the room.
The darkened ducal residence glowed with an eerie light—grand yet somber. As we crossed the shadowed corridor, a comfortable silence flowed between us. Feeling his body heat through our touching skin, I barely kept my drooping eyelids open.
"Wash up and sleep."
Gazing down at me as I struggled to keep my eyes open, Kaiser placed a hand on my head and stroked it slowly. My long, dirty black curls tangled between his long fingers. I jolted awake and nodded hurriedly.
"Pleased to meet you, Miss Kashmir. I'm Maria, here to attend to you."
A middle-aged woman standing before the door we’d arrived at bowed. Still dazed, I looked up at Kaiser with pleading eyes to be put down. He wore a displeased expression but set me down. My feet hit the ground with a thud, and I staggered slightly before approaching Maria.
"Pleased to meet you. I'm Kashmir, in your debt."
I bowed politely at a precise angle.
Silence fell around us for a moment.
"......Miss. Please, speak comfortably. I am your servant."
"Um, I prefer it this way."
I scratched my cheek as Maria sweated, flustered. Kaiser, standing behind me, let out a soft sigh.
"Kashmir Crisis."
The name from Kaiser's lips felt foreign. I froze and whipped around to see him watching me intently, arms crossed.
"You're not in debt to this place. This is your home."
His flat tone made the words feel unreal. Unsure how to react, I stiffened, and Kaiser sighed once more before opening the door himself.
"I'll make you feel it soon enough. For now, sleep. You look excessively tired."
He was right. My mind was so foggy I could barely tell if this was reality. Staring up at him blankly, he ruffled my hair with a faint but definite smile.
"The room next to yours is mine, so come find me if anything happens."
Sleep well. Each word in his indifferent voice was unbearably sweet. My chest tickled.
Lost in the sweetness with my hazy mind, murmuring to myself, he turned away and entered the next room.
Can I...... ever repay this kindness?
The sudden doubt weighed on my shoulders like a heavy burden. I had no idea how to return such ruthless tenderness or even how to respond.
"Miss."
A kind voice called to me as I bit my lip and bowed my head. Maria approached with a gentle smile.
"You must have a lot on your mind. Plenty of worries and burdens, too. But there's just one thing this old woman wants to tell you, even at the risk of rudeness."
She took my hand slowly and smiled warmly.
"It's only natural for a father to cherish and care for his child."
Such natural truths had always bypassed my life. In my eighteen years, there had never been a father figure watching over me, so it would probably take a long time to understand Maria's words.
"......I see."
Still, I nodded—because I wanted to believe it, just once. I wished I had a father, too.
* * *
"Please undress."
Maria led me to the tub filled with various bubbles and bath salts, then spoke to me as I stood there blankly.
This is a bit embarrassing.
Awkwardly fidgeting, I reluctantly undid the top two buttons of my shirt under her urging gaze.
Oh.
I stopped at the third button. Skin began peeking through the gap in my clothes. My face twisted. Avoiding Maria's waiting eyes, I clutched my shirt closed and mumbled.
"Can't I just wash alone?"
"It's only natural for a noble lady to have someone attend her bath. Don't be shy, Miss."
Thinking I was just embarrassed, Maria smiled kindly and reassured me. I bit my lip.
I had no choice but to treat my wounds in front of Father because it was urgent.
Back then, the situation was dire, leaving no room for qualms, but now there was no emergency, and someone else had to handle my body.
My hand hovered over the buttons, hesitating.
......I'm embarrassed.
A body that had lived as a mercenary my whole life. One that had faced magic beasts with nothing but a sword and skill—it couldn't possibly be unscathed.
What if she finds it disgusting?
I'd never regretted my life so far, but I dreaded exposing my battered body to the ducal household. I wanted them to think well of me. There was no fixing the self-esteem sinking to the depths.
"If you're too shy, shall I help you undress?"
I hurriedly shook my head at Maria's puzzled approach.
"......No, it's fine. I'll do it."
Yeah. It's nothing...... Maria needs to finish quickly and rest. She must've been woken from sleep because of me.
Not wanting to seem dramatic, I whipped myself mentally and pushed the buttons through the holes.
The buttons came undone, and the filthy shirt fell to the floor. My body emerged—like a slab of meat hacked by blades.
No spot was spared from the merciless assaults of magic beasts. I'd desperately protected my face out of worry for Aria, but the rest was no different from ground meat.
Office workers' hands grow calluses from gripping pens; manual laborers' wear down at the tips. The human body etches one's life upon it. What were once life-threatening mortal wounds were now mere traces that couldn't kill me—massive scars. Tiny ones clinging like bugs all over. Patches of dead skin from rare poisons, bulging veins. Calluses embedded everywhere.
My body had inscribed my life, too. This battered form was the life of the mercenary Mir.
Crash!
The scented oil in Maria's hand shattered with a sharp whoosh. Her eyes widened. Her lips trembled faintly.
"Ah......"
Maria clapped a hand over her mouth. Her dilated pupils revealed her shock. Unable to bear her gaze sweeping over my body, unbearable shame heated my skin.
"N-no need for a bath! My body is, too gross, I'm sorry. Really, I didn't mean to startle you, I just......"
Struggling to calm my flushed, throbbing cheeks, I snatched up the shirt and hurriedly shoved my arms into it. My fumbling fingers slipped repeatedly on the buttons in my panic.
"No, no, Miss. It's not gross."
Maria rushed over and gripped my hands tightly. Unable to lift my head, I fixed my eyes on the floor tiles, then slowly raised them.
"Uh......"
Meeting Maria's eyes, I froze in bewilderment. Maria was crying.