The Bet
Terria desperately pretends to have no interest in alchemy, acting like it's boring, but it's so obvious. I know deep down that he's enjoying the magic research. And if it's not an act, then even better—it means he's unconsciously immersed in it without realizing. Getting that hooked without even noticing your own fascination is a good sign.
No wonder. If he truly had no interest, he could never come up with ideas branching off from the experiment right in front of him. I've seen plenty of mages who just mechanically repeat assigned tasks like robots. It's embarrassing even to call them mages.
It's strange, watching Terria like this. Watching the person who was me feels oddly fresh. Does he still carry the elements that made up the "Ariel" the world saw? The current Ariel is just a fragile personality that could shatter at a touch, a slave brand that enforces obedience with a single word, and this endlessly weak body bound by the magic restraint choker. I've accepted this as Ariel. I've come to terms with it.
But that doesn't mean I can see the "him" in front of me as someone completely unrelated to Ariel. It's like a man separated from his lover who keeps assigning meaning to the ring she gave him. You can't force him to see it as just some secondhand ring from the market, unrelated to his ex. Until now, the dissonance from Terria's personality—so starkly different from Ariel's—kept me from thinking about it. Even in Ariel's body, his actions, habits, gestures, speech, and temperament weren't Ariel at all.
But I can't just see him as "Terria" either. It's a tricky problem. Doesn't abandoning that body mean I shouldn't associate "Ariel" with it anymore? No, that's different. You can't demand a man stop thinking of his ex just because he has no intention of getting back together when he looks at the ring.
Of course, in the long term, it might be healthier to cut those thoughts. No need to drown in sorrow and loss every time he sees the ring. But occasionally, smiling softly at happy memories of her—"that's how it was"—that's fine too.
So I smile softly too. My throat tightens a bit, and I say to him,
"I'm gonna grab some water."
"Ah, here."
Terria quickly hands me the water pitcher from the corner of the table. When did he even prepare this?
"Yeah, thanks."
I drink while turning back to watch him dive into the work again. This "him," experimenting at the table with that fascinated expression—maybe he's the ideal version of me I always wanted to see. He's almost... tolerable. For a split second, he—no, I—looks cool. I thought I had no narcissism like that. Did I love myself after all? I'd never considered myself a narcissist, though.
Of course, my body now is this frail one, so maybe it's not narcissism. But one thing's clear: Terria and I share the same joy through alchemy. We savor the beauty before our eyes together. Not just anyone can do that. Such people are exceedingly rare. It's as hard as a swordsman reaching the realm where they become one with their blade, the sword master.
Grateful for that fact, I grin. Does he know it too?
"So, what do you think of that hypothesis from earlier?"
Terria asks, noticing I've calmed down.
"...Half right, half wrong."
"Yeah?"
"Not just any gray fox dung. It has to be naturally dried with forest mana."
I say, observing him closely. In simple terms, that's it. We can look at the same apple and think different things. One says it's big, another that it looks delicious, someone else that its red is like blood. Another worries it might be poisoned.
But mana resonance is different. We feel the purified mana of the potion and think purely, beautiful. You and I share the same sensation. I see what you see, think what you think, feel every emotion you feel. In that moment, we understand each other perfectly, focusing solely on the beauty before us without a shred of doubt.
What else would you call this but a blessing?
But he doesn't seem to realize it yet. Terria looks at me with a puzzled expression. He probably thinks I'm crazy, crying one minute and laughing the next. Maybe I am.
"You sure? How do you know?"
"I used to think the exact same way as you."
Before he can argue, I quickly add,
"I tried it before. Verified it myself, that's how far I got."
"......Weird."
"What is?"
"Guess we really are in sync. Or is it? Maybe your old thoughts lingered in the body, sparking ideas in me."
"Hm......"
Yeah, that could be possible. I've picked up new habits since becoming a woman.
"Doesn't this make us soulmates?"
"Soulmates? Are we dating or something?"
"No, our chemistry's perfect. That's what I like most."
My hand freezes on the flask at his words. A bit dumbfounded, I snap at Terria. My body heats up in a rush.
"You've only ever been with me, and you call that 'perfect'?"
"Oh, should I sleep with other women first and compare?"
"You're such trash."
I glare at him coldly. Brain ruled by his dick. Thinking this guy was cool even for a second? I must be insane.
Terria smirks slyly, making a ring with his fingers in a gesture that evokes sex.
"Then tonight, should I go at it like a beast?"
"Shut... up. Let's do the experiment first. Time to verify."
I scoop a bit of solution from the beaker of libido suppressant we're making according to the research results. He does the same with the aphrodisiac.
"Yours is red. Mine's blue, to distinguish. Mix 'em—if it turns clear, success."
"Not purple?"
"Yeah. The effects cancel completely, so it'll fade to transparent."
Terria drops a few drops of aphrodisiac onto the mana plate first. Faint red smoke rises as it reacts with the plate's mana. Heart pounding, I add my new drug.
The red fades bit by bit on the plate, turning blue.
"Yes...!"
Success. But Terria looks vaguely dissatisfied, his expression ambiguous.
"Why the long face?"
"Kinda disappointing. Didn't expect it to work on the first try."
"If I failed, you'd have to keep helping till success. Not annoying?"
"Eh, might be fun instead?"
Fun instead... Ah. Meaning more sex with him. Come to think of it, my body's been oddly hot lately. Like my cheeks burning, mouth dry...
"Hah, never mind."
Probably just nerves. I shake my head to clear it.
We're 10% through the process. We agreed to verify every 10% to pinpoint errors easily. Nine more times ahead.
We work quietly for a while. This isn't so bad sometimes. Terria sighs, looking bored already. Half a day to go—how's he bored this soon?
Then something fun occurs to him; he claps his hands.
"Wanna bet?"
"What bet."
Obviously something perverted. No expectations, so I reply curtly.
Ignoring me, Terria explains enthusiastically.
"Back at the start, it went clear for a sec then turned blue, right?"
"Yeah."
"Means the aphrodisiac components vanished, leaving suppressant."
"So?"
He picks up a thumb-sized vial.
"When done, we each fill one this size and mix."
"That much? For what?"
"Listen. If concentrations match, equal amounts cancel out. But if aphrodisiac's stronger, it'll stay red."
A bad feeling creeps in; I eye him warily.
"Red, you drink. Blue, I drink. Deal?"
So that's it. At the end, mix equal final potions. If aphrodisiac wins, I drink; if suppressant, he does...
"That's rigged against me."
"Just make your suppressant super concentrated. You won't drink."
"No, if I take aphrodisiac, you benefit, but you taking suppressant does nothing for me."
"Why not? Might be gentle in bed later. Good for you, right?"
"I don't wanna in the first place..."
Still, it's a pretty decent proposal. No avoiding sex anyway. Not sure if Terria's been jerking off, but over a week without, he's probably backed up. Need to calm him a bit. If he takes suppressant, maybe one or two rounds and done? Not pounding like a maniac...