When Silence Becomes the Answer
After the commotion we caused in the supermarket, plenty of people were staring at us. In that awkward atmosphere, I let out a sigh and steadied my heart.
“Sorry, Aju. Let’s head back now.”
“...Okay.”
Aju’s expression was just as clouded as mine. She forced a small smile and nodded at my words. We carried the bottled water we had missed the sale on and headed to the checkout.
“It’s expensive.”
“That’s because there are three packs of Hanwoo.”
We finished paying—more than I had expected—and left the store.
On the way home… we didn’t speak. It was unavoidable after what had happened, yet the situation created by Hwayeon still sat heavily in my chest.
“Aju.”
“Yes, Riha oppa.”
Aju answered as if trying her best to sound fine, but I had already caught the swirl of emotions hidden in her voice.
“This might be late. And I don’t have to ask right now. Still… can I ask you something?”
“...Is it about why Hwayeon unnie got angry with me?”
“That too. But also… the reason you stopped visiting me at some point… was that because of Hwayeon?”
“...”
Silence usually means you don’t want to answer the question. But… sometimes that very silence ends up answering it anyway.
This was one of those moments.
“Yeah, I thought it was strange. Even if you were a senior preparing for the college entrance exam, the way contact suddenly cut off was too abrupt.”
Come to think of it, Daeho had also stopped mentioning Aju whenever we met up after a certain point. He must have known about this too.
…So that was why the three of them had hesitated when I suggested the four of us meet on the day I was discharged.
“Hwayeon unnie never told me not to contact you, oppa. It’s just… after she confided her worries to me… I said something that overstepped.”
“Overstepped?”
“Yes. I told her that since you, Riha oppa, aren’t the type to look at other women, she should stay by your side and watch over you well.”
“...And she got angry over just that?”
It didn’t seem like an unreasonable thing to say. I didn’t know the full conversation that led to it, but at least from my perspective, I couldn’t understand her reaction.
“No, it was my fault. In front of his girlfriend… I spoke as if I understood her boyfriend better than she did.”
Squeeze.
We had split the supermarket bags between us. From the lighter one Aju carried came the sharp rustle of plastic.
She must have clenched her fist hard.
“I still don’t really get it… But why did you say that?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know why I said it either. I just… wanted to say it. I couldn’t hold back anymore.”
Aju gazed up at the sky as if regretting every word.
“It might have been… a very, very small act of rebellion.”
She gave me a bitter smile. I tilted my head and asked,
“Wait, was that… a pun just now?”
“Huh?”
“No… You said ‘Aju… Aju…’ and then ‘very very’… I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to laugh.”
“Ah…”
Aju’s eyes widened in surprise. Then her shoulders shook and—
“Pfft, hehe. Yes, it was a pun. You should’ve noticed and laughed right away.”
“Ah, so it was? Tsk, it felt like such a serious moment I wasn’t sure if laughing was okay…”
“Hehe, really. Riha oppa, sometimes you’re quick on the uptake, sometimes you’re completely slow. I can never predict you.”
“I get that a lot.”
I had accidentally done something oblivious again, but thankfully the mood between us had returned to what it was before the supermarket trip.
That was a relief.
We were having Hanwoo once we got home. It would be a shame to eat something that delicious while feeling gloomy.
To enjoy delicious food even more, you first need to prepare your heart. In simple terms, you have to feel that rush of ‘Ah, this is going to be insanely good. I want to eat it right now~’
“Are you ready?”
“Gulp… Yes.”
<<Hurry up and grill it already!!>>
Fortunately, Aju and I—and even Daeho—had finished our mental preparations.
After clearing the knot in our hearts left by the Hwayeon incident, we started getting the beef ready the moment we walked through the door. Spotting the Hanwoo, Daeho came trotting over with sparkling eyes.
“All right… here we go.”
Sizzle.
The moment the meat hit the hot grill, the three of us were overwhelmed by the mouthwatering aroma.
Everyone knows meat never tastes as good on a gas stove. Charcoal is ideal, but if that’s not an option, a gas burner at least brings out the real flavor.
That’s why we dug out the old camping burner we used to take on trips. It was definitely going to taste far better than the stove!
…Of course there’s zero scientific evidence for that claim!
“Mmm… Ah~ Riha oppa. It smells incredible…”
<<Haa, I finally get to eat the Hanwoo I wanted to devour even after death.>>
Scientific evidence or not, their reactions told me everything. Yep. This meat was going to be unbelievable.
“I’ll flip it now.”
“Okay.”
<<Gulp…>>
Two humans and one cat huddled around the table watching beef grill—an admittedly strange sight. All three of us stared at the meat so intensely our eyes practically glowed.
If lasers had actually shot out, the beef would have been charcoal by now.
Sizzle, sizzle.
“Aah… Riha oppa, the smell is pure bliss.”
“Yeah, I didn’t expect it to be this strong.”
<<Damn, I’m ascending. I’m seriously going to ascend at this rate.>>
Just like Daeho’s hard-to-laugh-at joke, the aroma alone felt strong enough to send you straight to heaven. We were already full just from the smell, yet…
I wondered what would happen once we actually ate it.
We were about to find out.
“Here, Aju. This piece is yours.”
“Thank you.”
“Da… Hahu too.”
<<Slurp… Thanks.>>
“And one for me…”
Now all three plates held perfectly cooked beef. We exchanged glances, then took our first bites at the same time.
“Mmm.”
“Aaam.”
<<Chomp.>>
In that instant—
“!”
The perfect harmony of texture and rich juices exploded in my mouth like an orchestra performing a symphony called beauty. My tongue conducted it like a maestro, guiding every note, until finally—
Gulp.
One movement ended.
What followed was…
“It’s delicious…”
“It really is…”
<<Mind-blowing…>>
An intense, lingering aftertaste. Savoring that echo would have been one option, but we still had far too many more movements waiting.
“Then let’s keep grilling!”
“Yes! Ah, should I do it?”
“It’s fine. Aju, you just focus on eating.”
“Okay!”
Normally Aju would have politely refused and insisted on helping, but the beef was so good she simply nodded with honest delight.
Seeing her like this made all the effort feel worth it.
“Is it good for you too?”
<<It was the best. Damn, I’ve never eaten beef this good while I was alive.>>
I wanted to snap back with ‘Don’t make jokes that aren’t funny, you lunatic,’ but I couldn’t say that in front of Aju, so I simply chuckled and shrugged.
“Hehe, looks like Hahu loves the beef too. I’ve never seen him wag his tail this happily before.”
“Pfft, yeah…”
Looking closely, he really was wagging his tail like an ordinary cat in pure bliss. At this point he just looked like a regular cat.
“...”
Aju watched him for a moment, then gently stroked his head. Daeho, now used to it, rubbed against her hand in return.
When Aju smiled softly at the sight, I found myself smiling too.
“Turns out the answer to everything in the world is beef. Eat something delicious and suddenly everything feels okay.”
“Hehe, it really does. The moment you taste something good, that’s all you can think about. Your whole mind relaxes.”
Aju pulled her hand away from Hahu and glanced up at me shyly. There was a hint of bashfulness in her expression.
“To be honest, Riha oppa… I was a little nervous yesterday and today.”
“Nervous?”
“Yes… I mean, from now on it’s just the two of us living in this house.”
“You’ve slept over plenty of times before. Is it really that new?”
“That’s true, but… this time we’re actually living together, just the two of us.”
...
“Ah.”
She was right. Because I could hear Daeho, I hadn’t been conscious of it at all… but from Aju’s point of view, she was cohabiting with a man who wasn’t family.
“At least yesterday I was crying so much I barely felt the nerves, but after I cried everything out… my heart started racing for no reason.”
Thinking back on yesterday’s Aju, I knew she wasn’t lying. After all, she had spent nearly all her time shut inside her room.
Aside from cooking or eating, moments like this had been rare.
“Um… Riha oppa.”
“Yeah?”
“What about you?”
“...What?”
Now that I finally understood how nervous she felt, Aju called my name again, cheeks faintly pink.
“Aren’t you… nervous, Riha oppa?”
The moment those words reached me, I finally registered our current situation properly.
I was co-living with Aju. Even with Daeho here, we were sharing the same house and the same hours together.
As soon as my brain accepted that fact—
Thump. Thump.
My heart, which should have known better at my age, suddenly began to pound.
“...Riha oppa?”
When I stayed silent, I awkwardly scratched my head. I felt like I should say something, but right then—
“...The meat’s going to burn.”
The beef had finished cooking.
I placed the meat on Aju’s plate, dodging the question. Seeing me do that, she gave a satisfied little smile.
“Yes, I’ll enjoy it.”
Aju resumed eating with a content expression. Watching her, I decided she had understood the words I couldn’t say out loud.
Just like before… there are times when silence itself becomes the answer.