Chapter 4
“Did you wait long?”
“Hmm, nope.”
After finishing my first day back at school, I opened the door and slid into the car. Se-eun already looked completely at home in the driver’s seat.
Her father had given her the car as a gift.
She had always said she wanted to drive. But after overhearing those bastards earlier, the thought that hit me was:
...It must not have been easy commuting every day.
“What do you want to do before the movie? Should we grab food first?”
“Anything you’re craving?”
“Hmm… I’m fine with whatever.”
Had she done her makeup differently today?
Maybe it was because her natural features were already so beautiful, but Se-eun had always worn only the lightest touch of makeup. She had always been far more beautiful than someone like me deserved, yet today she looked even more stunning.
“...W-what are you staring at like that?”
“You look so pretty today.”
“Oh, stop it.”
It was true. She was so, so beautiful.
So beautiful it was hard to believe she was my girlfriend. So beautiful it was almost unbearable.
Normally I tried to act proper and gentlemanly, never letting my hands wander too much. But before I knew it, my palm had slid up to cup her breast.
Squeeze.
“—Ah, honey!”
With her, we had been extremely careful—not just with sex, but even with simple hugs and kisses. To a college student who hadn’t even graduated yet, her looks were an enormous asset, and the balance between us felt completely off because of it.
Se-eun was a princess. I was just a commoner… desperately trying to become a prince.
I pulled her waist close as if to silence her and crushed my lips against hers. Startled by this side of me she rarely saw, Se-eun pressed her lips tightly together at first. Then, softly, she slipped her small, warm tongue between mine.
I had never been this feral before.
The realization that I could knead her breasts right here in the car, just the two of us. The realization that I could plunder every inch of her mouth. The simple fact that I could do these things flooded me with uncontrollable desire.
When I finally pulled back—her face scrunched up as if she couldn’t breathe—she was panting.
“Ha… ha…”
She stared at me with the same flushed cheeks and watery eyes she always had during our innocent, clumsy sex.
“You’re… a little different today, honey…”
Forget food. Right now…
I wanted to devour Se-eun like a madman.
In the end, we drove straight to my studio apartment, cooled our burning bodies, and only then headed out to the movie.
It felt like a much happier date than usual.
***
“Hey! Over here.”
“Yeong-woo hyung.”
It wasn’t that we hadn’t kept in touch, but this was the first time we’d met face-to-face since that night.
Despite my worries, Yeong-woo hyung greeted me from his seat at the bar with the same easygoing attitude as always.
“I went ahead and ordered the snacks however I wanted.”
“Yessir.”
“How’s school treating you?”
“I don’t know. Without you there, I really don’t know anybody.”
“It was the same for me after you enlisted, dumbass.”
He was probably still thinking about it too, right?
That’s why I had deliberately avoided bringing up Eun-chae noona, but—
“Eun-chae had plans with her friends. I came alone.”
“…Ah, right. Well, honestly I only wanted to see you anyway, hyung.”
“Aish, you little shit. Hey, don’t overthink it. I’m the one who dragged you into our business. You didn’t do anything wrong. We’re both fine with it.”
He really was a good person. I was lucky to know him.
“I did feel like I put you in an awkward spot, though…”
“No! You and noona… you didn’t do anything wrong to me.”
“Yeah. Heh.”
The impulsive confession I’d made to Se-eun would never have happened without the burst of confidence I got right after losing my virginity.
In a way, he had been the Cupid who brought us together.
Still, I didn’t tell him I was dating Se-eun.
Listening to Yeong-woo hyung—a fresh graduate now in the working world—we traded stories about our daily lives. Adult life didn’t seem easy at all. I wasn’t sure if it helped, but I hoped he could vent everything here, so I listened quietly to his complaints.
“Still, seeing you and badmouthing those assholes together makes me feel a lot better, man.”
“Does it?”
“Yeah. You got nothing on your mind?”
I did, but…
Ever since I started dating Se-eun, my head had been filled with nothing but her.
Those bastards talking about Se-eun in the smoking area last time. The memories of Eun-chae noona and Yeong-woo hyung that had immediately followed. The night I had been invited.
How on earth had I forgotten an experience like that? I was shocked at myself. It had been completely buried behind thoughts of Se-eun.
Now, the crude evaluations those guys had made about her… and the memory of being a chodaenam… kept swelling larger and larger in my mind.
“…Hyung, can I ask you something?”
“Sure. What is it?”
“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
“Is it about Eun-chae?”
Had he read my mind? Yeong-woo hyung took one look at my face, let out a small laugh, and popped another snack into his mouth.
“Why are you being so careful about it?”
“Still… I didn’t want it to feel weird for either of us. I was afraid it might come off like I was prying.”
“You really are a ridiculously nice bastard. It’s fine, dude. You want to know why we started? The whole chodaenam thing?”
I nodded quietly.
“Hmm… where should I even begin. Maybe around our second year of dating?”
“How long has it been now?”
“Five years.”
Yeong-woo hyung thought to himself for a moment, chuckled softly, and continued.
“Neither of us is the type to take things slow and precious. Two years can feel long or short depending on how you look at it… but back then, our relationship felt a little stagnant.”
Two years of dating felt like an eternity to me. Apparently not to him.
“We rushed through kissing and sex really quickly. Once we got used to each other’s bodies, things just became routine… Even so, our personalities matched perfectly. Our tastes were similar too. We even talked about getting married someday.”
“And then?”
“One summer we went to the beach.”
Yeong-woo hyung’s face already looked lost in the memory.
“Eun-chae’s a total catch, right? Pretty face, great body. She was wearing a pretty bold bikini. I went to buy beer at the convenience store, and when I came back some guy was hitting on her, trying to get her number.”
That sounded exactly like something that would happen to Eun-chae noona. Mm-hmm.
“Okay. Describe the emotion I felt in that moment.”
“What? Out of nowhere?”
“Just try it. What do you think it was like? If it had been you? That guy was actually pretty damn handsome.”
If it had been me?
“…At first I’d probably get pissed. Then… I might feel proud, like ‘this beautiful woman is my girlfriend.’ And… I’d probably feel anxious that other men keep approaching her.”
“Are you a mind reader?”
We both burst into light laughter.
“That feeling stayed in my head the whole day.”
….
He hadn’t shown any sign of it on purpose.
“She seemed secretly happy about getting her number the whole time. That night when we had sex, she was wetter than usual and… insanely turned on.”
“…R-really?”
“For real. Of course, it wasn’t all pleasant. Seeing her giggle actually made me angry. But the sex we had while I was feeling that way was fucking… incredible.”
I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. Or maybe I just didn’t want to.
“She’s my girlfriend. My lover, Eun-chae. Yet just seeing her in a revealing bikini getting another guy’s number turned me on like that. That was the beginning.”
“…”
“We both felt it. From there it went to secret outdoor sex, exhibitionism, and eventually inviting a chodaenam.”
“Both of you… agreed to it?”
“Yeah. Dude, Eun-chae is no joke. She held back a lot when she was with you. The things she says when we bring someone over… fuck…”
The image of Eun-chae noona having sex with some chodaenam who wasn’t me flashed through my mind.
Under the table, my pants were already painfully tight.
“I thought about it by myself. I have that side too, I guess.”
“What side?”
“The feeling of confirming that my precious Eun-chae loves me just as much as I love her… That even if she sleeps with another man, she’s still ultimately mine. Of course, we’re both massive perverts, so we also just really love that filthy, exciting atmosphere.”
“Heh…”
It was hard to find the right response, so I just laughed vaguely.
Hyung didn’t seem anxious at all. He only took pleasure from the act of inviting another man.
Was it because their love ran so deep? He didn’t even seem to consider the possibility that the trust they had built over five years could crumble.
Netorase. Chodaenam. To Yeong-woo hyung and Eun-chae noona, those things were nothing more than toys for their relationship.
I still think it’s completely abnormal, though.
Then again, was that something I—who had been Eun-chae noona’s chodaenam—had any right to say?
I took a big gulp of beer. Yeong-woo hyung leaned in closer.
“Be honest. It was fucking hot, right? The mood that night.”
“…I guess?”
“It’s a situation normal people never get to experience in their entire lives. You got rock hard, didn’t you? Tell the truth.”
“Ahem.”
“Kk, you bastard.”
I didn’t think I had drunk enough to be drunk.
But when I got home and lay down with a fuzzy head, the memories of having sex with Eun-chae noona came back on their own.
I felt bad for her, but compared to what I did with Se-eun now, there had been zero consideration in the way I treated her.
I had gripped her waist like I wanted to break it and pounded her pussy—still new to me—until it turned bright red.
After I came, she sucked Yeong-woo hyung off. When it was my turn again, she got on all fours by herself, lifted her ass toward me, and I took her from behind.
Sex with Se-eun was always in missionary.
I held her carefully, like a fragile baby bird, and moved slowly back and forth inside her tight walls.
It wasn’t that I disliked it at all.
It was just that the version of me from that first experience felt slightly awkward compared to the way I held Se-eun now.
Was it a dream? Or not?
I watched the memory grow clearer.
Then, in that moment—
The face of Eun-chae noona in my head seemed to shift slightly.
The instant I noticed it, before I could even process the delusion, a horror so intense it gave me goosebumps washed over me.
‘Haa, haang. Fuck me harder.’
‘You filthy slut. Feels good, doesn’t it?’
‘Aaaang, ah…’
A familiar, precious voice.
The woman beneath him was no longer Eun-chae noona. It was Se-eun.
‘Crazy. Crazy. Crazy.’
Se-eun was looking at me. Not straight ahead, but to the side.
The man on top of her wasn’t me.
‘Mmm, mm… Minjae.’
The moment she called my name, the man pulled his cock out from deep inside her pussy. It was black, veined, red at the tip, and impossibly longer than mine.
He grabbed Se-eun roughly, flipped her over, and thrust back into her from behind in a rear-entry position I had never tried. Her firm ass jiggled with every impact.
The eyes that had been looking at me slowly grew hazy.
The reflection of my face in her pupils was exactly like Yeong-woo hyung back then—
Smiling grotesquely in the middle of his excitement.
“…U-ugh… Heok!”
I shot upright with a desperate shout. The morning sun was already pouring brightly into the room.
“…Haa, haa…”
I grabbed my phone to check the time, then opened my chat with Se-eun as if trying to erase the unease.
All our lovey-dovey messages from the moment we started dating were still there, unchanged.
“Haaaa. Fuck…”
What a disgusting dream.
Classes didn’t start until the afternoon, but I had woken up earlier than expected.
With a restless heart, I washed up, got ready, and sat there doing nothing until—
…
Suddenly I turned on my laptop, typed a single word into the search bar, and hit enter.
> Chodaenam