Madness
Luna Winfred had been tormented by revolting nightmares for the past several days.
— Why on earth……
— If even my sister is like this, then I……
In the dream, Kyle was crying pitifully. Today, yesterday, the day before that. Kyle blamed Luna, tears streaming down his face.
— Is it because I was being tactless?
— I'm sorry… I won't do it again, so please…
Kyle's eyelids trembled pitifully. It was heartbreaking to hear him ask for reasons in that moist, broken voice. Yet contrary to her own will, the Luna in the dream hurled vicious abuse at him, her face twisted with hatred, eyes flashing murderously.
— What's the problem?
— Kyle, your very existence is the problem. You bitch who deserves to be torn apart. How dare you say such things with that shameless mouth.
I wanted to rush out immediately and rip that cursed mouth to shreds. Kyle's blue eyes shook violently. He lowered his head blankly and let out a wet groan. At the same time, the scene shifted.
— It must have been hard.
Kyle, perched on the edge of the bed, let out a hollow laugh.
— Since I went through such humiliation just to save someone like me, it's only natural you'd find me repulsive. No. Not at all. It's a misunderstanding. I never once…
— Why now.
— You should have just let me die.
Kyle's face, stained with blood and scars, twisted grotesquely. Luna instinctively knew—this was her karma made manifest.
— Just seeing your face makes me sick.
Kyle's lips twitched. It was terrifying. His ruined face, that voice like shards of ice.
— So now live your own life.
The moment those final words left his mouth, Kyle's body collapsed like butter melting in high heat, losing all shape. Where he had stood, only a dark red pool of blood remained.
That was when it happened. With a ragged gasp, Luna's eyes flew open.
“Haah……ha……”
Her breath caught in her throat. Luna wrapped both arms around her neck and panted desperately. Ah, it was a nightmare. A nightmare? No—could something this excruciatingly painful yet sweet enough to paralyze reason truly be called a nightmare? If she went even a single day without dreaming of Kyle, withdrawal would drive her mad.
“Hu……uhuh……”
It was laughable. So laughable that a bitter chuckle escaped her. She couldn't understand her own feelings toward Kyle. Too intense to be mere guilt, too tender to be simple pity.
The day Kyle collapsed, coughing up blood. His defenseless sleeping face was still vivid in her mind. Brother. My precious brother. His jet-black hair had been soft as silk, his skin warm like midday sunlight. Startlingly beautiful. And captivating.
That day—what had she done? All night she had wiped the cold sweat from his body, pressed a damp cloth to his parched, cracked lips…… Kyle's…… lips……
Luna squeezed her eyes shut. Just recalling that memory made her skin crawl with the weight of sin. Even with her eyes closed, Kyle's phantom lingered in her mind. Yet soon she exhaled a short sigh. Kyle hated her. An undeniable, merciless reality. One her efforts alone could never change.
Breathing felt like swallowing fire. The world around her was dark as an abyss, her body heavy as if crushed by a nightmare. It would have been better if she had never returned to the past. If she had known it would hurt this much, she never would have clung to such foolish attachments. She would have accepted her end with dignity. But she had already known, hadn't she? That it would come to this. That no matter what she did, she could never be forgiven. She had known everything from the very beginning.
“……”
Luna rose from the bed. Her translucent skin gleamed under the moonlight. What did she truly want? While being tossed by these unnameable emotions, what exactly was she hoping for? What words did she want to hear from Kyle? What expression did she want to see on his face? What did she want to do with him? Kyle, my brother. My brother. My……
Her heart pounded so violently it felt ready to burst through her ribs. A strange ticklish sensation spread through her chest.
“Ha….”
Luna turned. As she moved toward the chair beside the bed, the newspapers scattered on the floor by the door caught her eye.
“……Newspaper?”
As if possessed, she picked one up. And read. An article with content she could scarcely believe.
“Isabelle Ustia…… Saintess……?”
The burning heat in her head cooled instantly, as though doused with ice water. Her fading reason slowly returned.
“Isabelle… Isabelle Ustia…”
Luna muttered the name while staring at the article. Bathed in moonlight, her figure looked both sacred and chilling. The article was straightforward: the woman who had been slapped by the princess and imprisoned had revealed her ability, pretending to be the Saintess.
“Isabelle… Isabelle… Isabelle…”
Kyle's former fiancée. The woman to whom Kyle had devoted his entire life and love. And—
“……The bitch who poisoned Kyle.”
Ah. She had completely forgotten. The reason she had returned to the past.
“…Don't worry, Kyle.”
Yes, Kyle. You have nothing to worry about. Anything that could threaten you—I'll eliminate every last one of them in advance.
“Hu……”
Without fail. Even if it means staining my own hands with blood.
****
Before long, a full week had passed since I began my research in earnest. I had been holed up in the Alchemist Association, devoting myself solely to crafting the Elixir. For the sake of perfect security, I conducted all research alone, accepting no assistance. Of course, when help was absolutely necessary, I did borrow others' hands, but outwardly it would appear to be nothing more than ordinary research.
The Blue Flower and Soul Stone would arrive at the laboratory soon. I heard that due to fierce competition, the materials had been purchased at an absurdly high price. Just how much had been spent on ingredients alone? Truly, nothing beats the imperial family's cheat-like resources.
However, a problem had arisen.
“Is the Holy Dissolvent still far off?”
“Yes. Relations between the Empire and the Holy See have deteriorated sharply of late……”
Isabelle Ustia. All because that madwoman had suddenly revealed her ability. The reason was easy enough to guess. To atone for her sins. To get back at the princess who had cornered her. And, as always, to cling to my ankle.
Sure enough, when I encountered Isabelle after so long, she grated on my nerves as usual.
“Kyle.”
While walking down the corridor to meet the Emperor, my eyes met Isabelle's as she approached from the opposite direction.
“Kyle, so you were here.”
Seeing her approach made me frown involuntarily. Why did she look like that? Isabelle walked toward me with a smile, a small velvet box clutched in her right hand.
“I missed you, Kyle.”
“I didn't want to see your face at all.”
“It's all right. I wanted to see you.”
Isabelle's behavior was strange. Even though I had deliberately spoken harshly, she didn't sob as usual. Instead, she smiled.
“I know. That you hate me, Kyle.”
“Then move aside.”
“But I love you, Kyle.”
What? Love? Me? Crazy bitch. She must have lost her mind during that short solitary confinement.
“Love, my ass. Just get lost.”
I narrowed my eyes and spat the words like ice. Yet Isabelle paid no heed. Instead, she blushed and stared intently at my face.
“Ah, you're so handsome.”
“Are you insane?”
“As expected, I can't give up.”
Isabelle murmured incomprehensible words in a gentle voice.
“You know, Kyle. I've reflected deeply during this time.”
“Hah.”
“Of course, from your perspective it probably sounds like empty words. But my feelings are sincere.”
Isabelle fumbled open the velvet box in her hand. I let out a hollow laugh of disbelief.
“See? Kyle, the ring you gave me.”
Inside the box lay the ring. The one set with a sunstone—the engagement gift Kyle Winfred had once offered Isabelle.
“I don't even know how I ended up like this.”
“What?”
“I know it logically. That I should disappear from your sight forever if I don't want to be hated. But how could I? After everything I've done to you. With these feelings I still hold for you.”
Goosebumps rose across my skin. A deep, unfamiliar desire flashed in Isabelle's eyes.
“It hurt a lot, didn't it, Kyle.”
Tears welled in her eyes.
“As much as you suffered, I'll suffer too.”
Isabelle whispered softly. Her voice brushing my ears made my shoulders tremble.
“I'm sorry.”
Isabelle knelt. She placed both hands neatly on her knees, then lifted her head to look up at me. Her face, flushed crimson like a ripe apple, gazed upward.
“You can slap my cheek. You can spit on me.”
“……”
“Kyle, punish me until your anger is spent.”
I was speechless. To the point I wondered if I was dreaming.
“I love you.”
Fuck. Why the hell are you doing this to me.