One Step Higher
A slightly over-the-top question like that threw Seola off her balance.
The tough front she’d been putting on cracked just a little.
I guess I really was a pervert. The fact that I could look at that and immediately start entertaining wicked thoughts proved it.
There was no point denying it now.
Maybe...
Maybe I’d been carrying a little resentment ever since Seola turned me down last time.
If she was going to refuse me, she could at least keep up her end of things and do a good job of it.
“Seola.”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want to force you.”
“..”
She shook her head.
“If I were thinking of forcing you, I wouldn’t have come all the way here.”
I shook my head too.
“You decide.”
“...Huh?”
“If you’re planning to go all the way with me tonight, stay here. If not, you can go back.”
“..”
“I won’t stop you. And I won’t touch a single one of the Star Balloons I’ve sent you so far.”
Seola’s eyes trembled, as if she could already guess what I was going to say next.
“Honestly, I’m human too... If you turn me down, I’ll probably find it a little hard to keep visiting you after this.”
Tonight, whether we crossed that line or not was up to me.
Just the fact that Seola had come here implied consent already, in an unspoken way—but I brought that unspoken agreement out into the open.
“...You really are a terrible guy, Oppa.”
“I don’t know. I was trying to be considerate. So you could make the choice yourself.”
“..”
What Seola wanted was for me to give her an excuse. She had held on with everything she had up to now, but...
She wanted the justification that I had pressured her and then taken her anyway. That she had no choice but to accept it.
Seola bit down hard on her lip.
Her face showed just how fiercely she was thinking it over.
I needed to even out the scales. I’d pushed too hard, so now it was time to pull back a little.
“I promise you. No one will ever hear about what happens tonight. And as long as you keep streaming, you won’t have to worry about a shortage of support.”
“..”
“You might think I’m just making empty promises, but someone in my position chooses every word carefully. At the very least, I’m not saying this lightly.”
In truth, I didn’t really know. I had no idea what the words of someone in my position were supposed to sound like.
But I meant it. I fully intended to keep my promise.
Seola had been the kind of streamer who, even in the darkest days, still did her best to end each day on a good note.
And besides...
If she’s the one making the decision, this is the least I should do.
I was being mischievous for now, teasing her a little.
But if she accepted that teasing, I wanted to give her a reward worthy of it.
It was Seola’s turn to decide.
***
He really is awful...
She couldn’t shake it off.
He was someone she was endlessly grateful to, and yet...
In this moment, she genuinely resented him.
Why else would she have come all this way? She had come prepared for everything that had been said in their previous conversation.
Oppa definitely knew that.
And yet he was telling her to decide for herself.
That meant he was stripping away even the excuse she could hide behind.
He was saying that if she got together with him, it would be for the Star Balloons.
What do I do...
It was hard. Hard to admit that fact.
She had believed she was different from the other girls. That was why she had quit Excel, too.
She hadn’t done any cam work. She had chosen a challenge instead.
But then...
Was the end of all that really just her selling her body for Star Balloons?
“Just think of one thing. Not money. Your success.”
“.. That’s not what this is.”
“It is. If it were money, you wouldn’t have just dealt with me—you would’ve dealt with a lot of people.”
“..”
“If you did Excel, you could make even more money than this. You didn’t choose money. You chose success.”
His words felt dangerously sweet.
Right. She hadn’t sold her body for money. She had simply used any means necessary for success.
Besides...
Oppa had always been someone she was grateful to.
He was far too teasing now, but if he had asked her out back then, she probably would’ve agreed without much hesitation.
And if she had accepted that...
Wouldn’t there have been no desire in it at all? Had she really liked him for who he was?
No way.
He was a good man, sure, but if she was only looking at faces, there were plenty of men better-looking than him.
In the end, it was all about appearances anyway.
Once she realized that, her heart felt a little lighter.
She had made her decision.
Right. The moment she came here, the answer had already been decided, hadn’t it?
“Are you going to shower first, Oppa?”
Now that she’d made up her mind and asked the question, Oppa gave a sly grin.
It was annoying. When they first met, he’d seemed so clumsy that he’d almost been cute.
But in such a short time, he’d changed far too much.
Now it almost felt like Oppa was the one finding her cute.
“Let’s shower together.”
“.. You’re fast.”
“We’ve come this far. Showering together is nothing.”
“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that? Seriously, where did the innocent Oppa from before go?”
“Innocent? Please. Come on.”
Still, if there was one thing she could be thankful for, it was that even if Oppa had become a bad man, he was still the same rich, generous Oppa who used to support her.
There was still affection in his eyes.
At least they weren’t doing this with no affection at all.
Hah. Now that they were actually about to shower together, she was really nervous.
What should she do? She hadn’t had any proper experience, so Oppa probably wouldn’t hate her, right?
Once they were truly about to cross that line, every possible thought crowded into her head.
Please, let this difficult choice end well without any problems.
They arrived in front of the shower.
Come to think of it, the house was enormous.
What had he said—seven bathrooms? It was basically a chaebol mansion.
With a driver and a secretary too, he really wasn’t any different from one in practice.
“Want me to take it off for you?”
“.. Yeah. Honestly, it’s better when you just say it plainly like that.”
It felt better than acting like she was the only one being dirtied by this, as if he were included in it too.
After a moment’s hesitation, she nodded.
Oppa stepped closer and pressed his body against hers.
She could feel even the rhythm of his breathing. Before that, their clothes had been the only thing standing between them, and their skin had already been brushing through the fabric.
So this was really happening now.
Her body trembled a little.
His hand touched the lower edge of her top.
It clung to her body as he lifted it up. This was already the situation she had prepared herself for.
She raised both hands smoothly, without making it awkward.
The top came off. All that remained was her bra. Her face felt like it might burst.
Other people probably thought the word “BJ” meant she’d had plenty of experience...
But she had started doing that work right when she was young, so she didn’t actually have much experience at all.
At most, once or twice.
And even then, it had almost never gone all the way.
If she was being honest, all she’d really done was awkward, half-finished imitation of sex.
Oppa reached for the underwear on top.
But then—
“Pfft. Now you really look like an Oppa. You looked used to it for a second, but why do you look so awkward now?”
“..”
He didn’t seem to have much experience either; his hands were fumbling around.
That somehow made her feel relieved. It reminded her of the Oppa she used to know.
She caught his hand and showed him how to take it off.
In the end, her upper body was naked. It was embarrassing.
Then her pants came off too. Even her panties.
“I’ll take your clothes off for you, Oppa.”
“All right.”
She wasn’t about to be the only one exposed. She would be the one to take his clothes off.
It unfolded much the same way it had for her.
Even the awkward motions.
Well, when else would she have done this?
“You’re pretty clumsy too.”
“.. You have to have done it before.”
“Mm...”
“I’m serious. I don’t have nearly as much experience as you think.”
“Looks that way.”
“Tch.”
In the end, Oppa was naked too.
His body was just... normal. Not too fat, not too thin.
But the atmosphere around him was anything but ordinary.
Maybe everything she’d experienced up to now, starting with this place itself, had given Oppa a completely different kind of presence.
And because he looked so ordinary, he somehow felt even more special.
Self-made, wasn’t it?
He really was incredible. To have started with nothing and built all this on his own.
If it weren’t for this relationship, he’d be the sort of man worthy of admiration.
Or was he?
Maybe even after getting involved like this, he’d still be admirable.
If she was going to do this, it might as well be with someone as amazing as Oppa.
She tried to think as positively as possible.
“...This bathroom is huge too.”
With seven of them, you’d think one would feel a bit small, but it was still massive.
The fixtures were luxurious beyond question, and the bathtub was enormous too.
Two people could fit in there easily.
Oppa seemed to be thinking the same thing.
“Oppa, but you really don’t plan on dating anyone, right?”
“Why? Do you want me to?”
“No, I was going to say dating sounds hard.”
“I wasn’t planning on it, but hearing that hurts.”
“Liar. You’re not hurt at all. And... it’s not that I hate Oppa. I just think if this relationship turned into dating, someone would definitely end up deeply hurt. Honestly, there’s a pretty good chance that person would be me.”
The roles between them had already been set.
To her, Oppa was someone she couldn’t lose. But to Oppa, she was probably someone he could take or leave.
In a relationship like that, it was honestly a relief that they weren’t actually lovers.
“But you’re not allowed to meet anyone else.”
“.. You’re really greedy, aren’t you.”
Even so, she hadn’t planned on seeing anyone else while this thing with Oppa lasted.
It wasn’t as if that kind of relationship would ever be whole and clean, either.
“Come here.”
Oppa pulled her hand.
As she was drawn in, she ended up leaning against him.
“..”
This was really the beginning.
***
At last...
When I was taking Seola’s clothes off earlier...
She probably hadn’t noticed, but my hand had been trembling.
My body had moved on its own, completely separate from my mind.
That alone proved how tense I was too.
Of course it did.
Because I was finally about to be with Seola.
Her naked body made it clear at once why I’d liked her so much.
Jihyun had been pretty too, but...
Seola was on another level entirely.