Only Fear
Han Seonhwa could feel it all change in an instant.
No matter what she said, the mood stayed pleasant. It wasn’t because she’d suddenly become a better speaker than before—not at all. She herself hadn’t changed much.
It was simply that the people on the panel were taking her words in exactly the right way.
There was no need to wonder why.
With that many Star Balloons, even major BJs couldn’t afford to ignore him.
And hadn’t he said that if she passed, he’d keep sponsoring her from now on?
It’s been a while.
It had been a long time since broadcasting had felt this easy.
Only now did she truly understand how much weight that rich rookie brother of hers carried on her stream.
She’d been trying hard not to think about it.
“Is that the same guy from last time?”
“If you mean the one who caused that controversy, then yes. Rich rookie brother proved it.”
“Wow... he’s the real deal. He really is a super sponsor.”
“His house looked like a palace.”
“It was bigger than a palace.”
“What?”
Even major BJs had probably never experienced a place like the Signiel Penthouse.
That place was the kind of space only people with diamond spoons—or the truly filthy rich—could ever stay in.
After the brief commotion died down, one of the panelists, who had been sitting there as an interviewer, held up a PASS placard and said, “I’ll use my free pass. Seola, please remember that I was the one who used it for you?”
“What? What are you doing right now? Are you trying to cut in line?”
“Boss, I think the time has come for me to make a decision.”
“Hey, you bastard! Even if you don’t make one, Seola’s obviously a pass—what kind of sneaky bullshit are you pulling here?”
They all started clamoring, trying to claim they’d been the first to give her a pass.
That reminded me of something my brother had said before.
He’d told me that the power of money was stronger than I thought.
Maybe I couldn’t really deny that.
Just look at how the people who had seemed so high and mighty had changed in a heartbeat.
Normally, if you start throwing Star Balloons and barging into the content like this, everyone would call you crazy.
But BJ or viewer alike, everyone was shouting the same three syllables: RichRookie.
“All right, let’s get to the point. Seola, you’re a special acceptance.”
“R-really?”
“You’ve got a tremendous advantage. The biggest headache when running a crew is the ripple effect. In other words, your very existence solves the most troublesome part of the equation.”
“That’s right. Why do we form crews and work so hard? To give viewers fun? Sure, that’s part of it. But the most fundamental reason is that we’re trying to make a living. So—super pass!”
Major BJs were now begging to get into the crew instead.
It was a scene I never would’ve imagined seeing before coming here.
Even so, the reason I couldn’t accept it at once was simple.
I was still young, sure... but I knew very well that rich rookie brother hadn’t helped me out of pure kindness.
It was a kind of poisoned chalice.
Sweet-smelling enough to numb my reason.
Something that, once I drank it...
“Please take care of me.”
I decided to change my mind. Because the moment I changed it, that poison would turn into sweet honey water.
Going back to how things had been before was now more terrifying than swallowing poison itself.
***
On the broadcast,
I watched as Seola finally smiled and answered that she’d join the crew.
Did Seola really not understand what that meant and just accept it happily without thinking? That didn’t seem likely, because I’d caught the slightest hesitation in her expression.
Either way, since she’d made a difficult decision, I figured I’d congratulate her properly.
.
.
.
.
I had come in through my main account and my alt and dumped 300,000 Star Balloons into the stream. Even then, I hadn’t even spent a hundred million won.
Considering the profits I’d made this time were approaching 150 billion won... that was what, about two days’ interest? Maybe even just one day’s interest, if I looked at it another way.
In the end, there wasn’t exactly a better place to spend money than on pleasure. If spending this much could make me feel this good, then it was a far bigger win for me.
Once I unleashed that commemorative bombardment of Star Balloons, the major BJs who had been overjoyed a moment ago froze in place this time.
To be fair, it was a pretty serious amount.
A little later,
Thank you, rich rookie brother!
Seola was the first to pull herself together and thank me. She probably knew, more than anyone here, that this was well within my means.
The major BJs followed soon after.
I was about to end the broadcast just now, lol. Hyung, if you ever want a meal-date with me, just say the word.
Hey, you bastard. Why would he want a meal-date with you?
What? Why not, you jerk! God, I think I may have shat myself a little.
No wonder it stank so badly. So that’s why we both lost it.
Add me to the list too.
Seola, you are an incredible treasure to our crew. Don’t you dare think about going anywhere else. If you do, step over my face on the way out.
Thank you!
...What?
They really were major BJs; their ability to keep a broadcast moving was on a different level.
After being hit with that blizzard of Star Balloons, silence had fallen for a moment, and the broadcast could easily have turned awkward.
But they snapped back immediately and steered it right back into fun territory.
After a few rounds of thanks,
Then we’ll go ahead and send Seola off for today. We kept you tied up too long.
From today on, make sure our Aide Crew gets attached to the title.
Absolutely. I’ll start checking right away from today.
Hey, you bastard. Watch your mouth. How dare you say you’re checking?
No... I mean, please keep an eye on it for us.
Yeah, exactly. How dare you, Seola? Yes, yes. Our Seola can leave in a good mood.
Thank you again. This was Seola!
Seola said her goodbyes and left the room.
I kept watching the broadcast a little longer.
Maybe because it was the crew she’d be joining, or maybe because the stream itself was actually entertaining, but I found myself strangely interested.
Not long after,
Seola texted me on KakaoTalk.
No way. If anything, it would be Seola who felt burdened.
From the moment I’d thanked her, she couldn’t possibly say I was making her uncomfortable anymore.
“But Oppa...”
“Yeah?”
“Um... never mind. Could we maybe meet and talk?”
“I don’t mind, but are you sure you’ll be okay with that?”
“Since you just threw so many Star Balloons around, I think all the attention will be on you. Meeting in front of my place like before probably won’t work... Can I come to your place?”
“That’s fine. Want me to send a car?”
“Thanks. I think even taking my own car would be risky.”
I was curious.
I wanted to know what she was going to say.
One thing was certain: whatever it was, this was going to move us forward somehow.
Whether that meant toward the end of whatever existed between us, or toward a new beginning.
I waited for Seola to arrive as quickly as she could.
After Si-hyeon, my heart had started racing again.
Of course, Seola couldn’t make it pound the way Si-hyeon did.
Maybe that was why I felt more confident acting around Seola.
Even if that wasn’t it...
Now that I understood the power of money so much better...
I suppose I was acting with confidence because of everything I’d been learning lately.
I decided to wait and see.
***
I was still waiting while watching the broadcast.
The driver told me he’d arrived at the underground entrance and had gotten into the elevator.
I put my phone down and went to meet her.
“Oppa!”
“...You’re here?”
Seola looked brighter than I’d expected.
I’d been sure she’d have a troubled expression. After all, this meeting meant a lot to both of us, and it was definitely not a small thing.
Did she not know, or was she choosing to stay that bright even knowing everything?
“Wow, seriously, this place still doesn’t feel real no matter how many times I see it. It’s so unfair that people under the same sky can live this differently. I’m already starting to get jealous.”
Seola, who had been peering out the window and taking in Seoul, turned back to me and asked, “Oppa, do you like me?”
“What?”
“I asked if you like me.”
“...I should, shouldn’t I?”
“Tch. What kind of answer is that?”
“It’s just so sudden.”
I meant it. It was so abrupt that I was the one who got flustered instead.
This had definitely been the question I wanted her to ask, but still.
“How is it sudden? We already had that conversation last time, and today you showered me with Star Balloons. Isn’t that because you wanted all this?”
“...I did want it, yeah. I just don’t like being forced.”
“Who said anything about forcing you? So then you want to do it with me?”
“If you’re a man, wouldn’t you pretty much want to?”
I answered honestly. I figured stumbling over my words here would be unmanly.
Seola was asking so naturally, with such a bright expression.
There was no way I could run from it.
That was what I thought, anyway.
Hmm...
Seola had been leaning against the window with that bright smile on her face, but her hands were trembling so badly I could see it even from where I stood.
Looking closer, I could see that terror lurking even behind that cheerful expression.
So she was acting.
I walked closer.
Only then could I see it clearly.
She flinched and backed away.
“O-Oppa, you’re too close.”
“Why did you come here if you already knew all this?”
“...You’re right.”
“Seola.”
“Yeah?”
“Tell me now. If you hate this.”
She lowered her head and answered, “It’s not that I hate it... I’m just afraid. I’ve seen a lot of older sisters who started with things like this and ended up falling into the underworld.”