19. Just Sympathy
19. Just Sympathy
[Chapter 19] - Just Pity.
After that, the evening banquet ended with a single word from the Queen Mother about being tired. Not knowing what else to say, I just exchanged greetings and headed to the guest room where the princess was resting.
...In the game, there wasn't much mention of the First Queen. Just stories about her dying of illness and the King loving her dearly.
Only such trivial background existed. Even looking back, there didn't seem to be any explanation about the First Queen blindly craving the King's love.
After hearing the Queen Mother's story, I tried to understand, even just a little, the First Queen who made an extreme choice because of love, and the King who missed her all day long in the corner of his room.
'Maternal love and affection are different... huh.'
But the more I chewed on the story, the less I understood. If they loved each other that much, how could they give absolutely no love to the princess born from that love?
There's a saying that a child is a 'blessing'.
To them, was the princess not a 'blessing'?
Entering the guest room, I looked down at the princess sleeping soundly in the blankets. Curled up with the blanket pulled over her head, she was wandering through dreamland, snoring softly, unaware that I had arrived.
I gently pulled the blanket down to her shoulders so she wouldn't wake up, and Ainsel, clutched tightly in the princess's hand, came into view. She must have been talking to Ainsel under the covers while waiting for me.
'Good thing I handed it to her when I left the banquet hall.'
I gently pried open the princess's small fingers, one by one, as she clutched the mirror, and rescued Ainsel. As I wiped the mirror, which was covered in the princess's fingerprints, Ainsel subtly revealed herself.
-Did you finish talking with the Queen Mother?
"...Yeah, it's over. Were you playing well with the princess?"
-Yes, ever since the maid left, I've been having small chats with the princess. About how fun the boating was today, or how the Queen Mother wasn't as scary as she thought.
I could imagine the princess, who had made the inside of the blanket her own secret base by pulling it over her head, whispering with Ainsel, and for some reason, I chuckled.
I carried Ainsel and quietly headed to the terrace so as not to wake the princess. As I stepped onto the terrace, the fragrant night breeze from the garden brushed past my hair.
I hung Ainsel back on my ear and sat on the terrace railing, looking down at the night garden. Thanks to the bright starlight and moonlight, the night garden, tinged with a faint blue light, created an atmosphere different from the daytime.
Unlike the city night sky, the bright moon cast a soft blue light over the dark garden, and star-like jewels flowing like the Milky Way twinkled, illuminating the garden along with the moonlight.
Was it thanks to the garden embracing the gentle atmosphere of a summer night? I felt my heart, which had been chaotic after hearing the First Queen's story from the Queen Mother, quiet down a little.
"...I heard the story of the First Queen from the Queen Mother."
-......
"I didn't know what to say even after hearing it. It doesn't seem like a story I could understand. I don't even want to understand it. Ha."
For some reason, a dry laugh escaped me. Ainsel wouldn't be able to say anything about the First Queen anyway, so this was no different from talking to myself. Wiping my face in frustration, I asked Ainsel.
"You said it, right? That Vivian performed the body-swapping ritual because she was 'jealous of the First Queen who was loved by the King.' And that it failed."
-...Yes, that's right. That's how sincerely Vivian loved the King. She even became the Second Queen just to be loved by him.
...There's no one normal here.
Vivian, the King, the First Queen.
In my eyes, none of them were normal.
Cooling my throbbing head with the night breeze, I continued my train of thought. First, one thing was certain: the First Queen was definitely not in a sound state right now.
'I don't know if she's dead or alive, but looking at the timeline, it's right to assume she's alive somehow. Since Vivian married as the Second Queen after the First Queen's suicide.'
And the reason Vivian performed the ritual was 'because she was jealous of the First Queen who was loved by the King.'
If so, it was highly likely that Vivian and the First Queen had met. Perhaps Vivian, having met the First Queen like that, went crazy with jealousy after 'seeing the First Queen who was loved by the King.'
That's why she performed the body-swapping ritual.
'It's a guess, but it's probably right. Since the only thing Ainsel can talk about is the content of Vivian's ritual. Given the nature of a fairy who doesn't lie, that much must be true.'
However, Vivian 'failed' the ritual.
And as a result of that failure, I entered Vivian's body. Then, what was the cause of the failure? In the first place, Vivian was one of the 'Coven's witches,' of whom only 13 existed in this world.
It was hard to see such a witch failing just by mistake. No, is it possible she made a mistake out of jealousy? Surely Ainsel and Silphy said they tried to stop Vivian.
Why can't Ainsel talk about the First Queen in the first place? Did she make a 'contract' with the First Queen? To not talk about her? If so, does that mean she can 'see fairies' too?
"......Sigh. I don't know."
The living First Queen, perhaps.
The reason Vivian failed the ritual.
Ainsel, who can't talk about the First Queen.
Everything was just ambiguous speculation, and there was nothing I could know for sure. I cooled my head, heated by thoughts, with the night breeze and let out a deep sigh.
"For now, I'll assume you're being threatened, Ainsel."
-You...
"So, you have to tell me when it's all over, okay?"
-...I understand. I'm really sorry.
At my words, Ainsel just answered with a choked voice. Seeing Ainsel react like this, it seemed certain that someone had forcibly silenced her.
"...Let's go in, it's cold."
I must have been on the terrace for quite a while, as goosebumps rose when the night breeze brushed against my body. I had to return to the main palace soon, and I came into the room to wake up the sleeping princess.
Entering the room, I saw the princess still sleeping on the bed, making soft snoring sounds. I sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at the princess, who was sleeping curled up.
The way she was curled up on her stomach looked just like a young puppy.
As I brushed the stray hair on the princess's cheek behind her ear, the portrait of the First Queen I saw earlier came to mind. Perhaps because she was her daughter, they looked very much alike.
I asked Ainsel in a voice so small the princess wouldn't wake up.
"The reason Vivian hated the princess... was it perhaps because she looked like the First Queen?"
-...Yes. That's right. She said she hated the face that looked like her... and she would get angry at me.
Hearing Ainsel's answer, my mouth felt bitter for some reason.
Looking intently at the princess's face as she slept calmly, I recalled the princess's expression when she looked at the First Queen's portrait in the room full of portraits earlier.
The princess's expression, calling the First Queen in the portrait 'Mother,' looking as if she truly missed her, as if she wanted to meet her, with a pathetic look, kept flickering before my eyes.
Does this child, who craves parental love, know that she has never received anything that could be called love from them? Does the princess even know that they have no interest in her in the first place?
They...
"The King and the First Queen loved 'only each other,' and as a result, they had no interest in the princess who was born. Doesn't this mean that 'maternal love' and 'affection' are different?"
"......"
Bitter.
My mouth tasted terribly bitter.
I, too, did not 'cherish' the princess. At most, it was 'pity.' This feeling I feel while looking at the princess, who was not loved by her parents and was left alone in this vast royal palace, was nothing more than 'pity.'
So, my helping the princess was only until the King came out of his room and everything returned to 'normal.' If everything returned to normal...
'Then, I won't need to be by the princess's side.'
I gently tidied the princess's hair and thought I should wake her up soon. If I stayed here too long, Ellie at the main palace would definitely worry.
Just as I was about to shake the princess's shoulder, the princess's small hand grabbed my index finger tightly. Looking down at that, I sighed again and lay down on the bed as it was.
Even when I lay on the bed, the princess wouldn't let go of my finger. Like a child begging not to leave. Like a young child grabbing and hanging onto her mother's hem.
"...Can't be helped."
I let out a deep sigh like someone who had given up on everything, pulled the blanket up to my waist, and lay down. If I covered myself more than this, I felt like the princess would be buried in the blanket up to her head.
The Queen Mother wouldn't say anything if I stayed at the detached palace for a day. In the first place, if the princess went to greet the Queen Mother tomorrow morning, the Queen Mother would definitely be happy.
So...
Today, even if I was a little uncomfortable, it seemed like I had to sleep like this.
I gently patted the princess's body over the blanket that covered her shoulders and fell asleep. Between the drowsiness that kept coming, I heard Ainsel's voice faintly in my ear.
-...Sleep well, Vivian. See you tomorrow.
I couldn't answer that greeting and fell asleep just like that.
*
It was a white space.
The princess turned her head, trying to check where this was. In the all-white space, in the distance, a man and a woman. Two people seemed to be visible.
The princess realized who those two people were.
For some reason, her heart pounded, and feeling cold sweat, the princess ran after the backs of the two people. However, no matter how much she ran, the distance between the two people and herself did not narrow.
"Mother..! Father..!"
Even if she ran, and ran, and ran again.
The anxiety given by the white space and the impatience that the distance did not narrow made the princess's feet heavy. As if shackles were attached to her feet, as if something huge was holding her back.
"Wait for me..! Mother!"
Even so, for some reason, the princess thought she had to follow the two people. She didn't know why. For some reason, she was just busy chasing the two people in this space.
The moment she walked, somehow, one step, one step, with heavy footsteps as if someone was holding her back. The princess was able to grab the clothes of the woman with black hair.
The moment she lifted her head with such joy.
The princess woke up from her dream.
The moment she opened her eyes, the princess could confirm what she had been holding in her dream. The finger of the Queen, who was sleeping soundly beside her.
The dazzling white light she saw in her dream was the morning sunlight pouring in from the window. The princess sat up halfway with groggy eyes and looked at the Queen's finger she was holding.
Then, she tilted her head as if it were strange, and tried hard to recall the memories of last night with a brain that wouldn't work. Surely, she had been playing while talking with Ainsel under the blanket..?
She didn't know when she fell asleep, but when she opened her eyes, it was morning.
And the Queen sleeping next to her.
"Hmm?"
Why is the Queen sleeping in my bed?
The princess, who couldn't understand no matter how much she thought about it, got up completely from the half-raised state, yawned until her mouth ripped, and rubbed her sleepy eyes.
Then, she shook the shoulder of the Queen sleeping next to her, urging her to wake up quickly. The Queen, who woke up with a 'Gasp' sound, looked at the princess blankly with groggy eyes.
At that sight, the princess shook the Queen's shoulder as if to wake her up quickly.
"Even if you are the Queen, you shouldn't sleep in my bed..."
"...??? Huh?? Your bed..? This is the detached palace, isn't it..?"
"Detached palace..?"
At the mention of the detached palace, the princess turned her head back and forth to check her surroundings, and only then did she confirm that this was not the room she usually stayed in.
"Ah..."
Having fully woken up from her sleep, the princess finally remembered what she had said and her face turned red with embarrassment.
Like a ripe red apple.