Interlude: Dieta (2)
“So, what’s this about, Najin?”
Dieta asked as she smoothed her hair. Najin did not answer at once. A moment’s thought. A moment’s silence. He simply looked at her without a word.
“Wh-what is it? Why are you staring like that?”
“I was just thinking for a second.”
“About what?”
“Honestly, there wasn’t any big reason for coming. You’ve always come to visit me while I was recovering, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt for me to drop by for once.”
“You worry about the strangest things. How’s your body holding up?”
“Thanks to you.”
Najin gave his shoulder a couple of light pats.
“I’ve been drinking high-grade potions like they were soft drinks, so I healed up fast. I’m fine now.”
“The doctors said you’d need at least half a year of rest… and yet you just brush it off and get back on your feet like it’s nothing?”
“I’ve always had a peculiar constitution.”
Joy at the news of his full recovery filled half of her. And regret filled the other half.
Dieta looked at him with a bitter smile. The fact that Najin was completely healed also meant the day was approaching when he would vanish off somewhere again.
“Now that you’re better, you’ll be leaving, won’t you?”
Her voice carried a clear note of reluctance.
“There is something I need to say about that. I’ve been putting it off, telling myself I’d talk about it someday.”
“You’re going somewhere far away, I take it?”
“Looks that way.”
“How far are we talking?”
Najin gazed out the window.
After a brief silence, he spoke.
“Shall we walk and talk for a bit?”
“I don’t mind, but won’t there be too many eyes on us? It’ll be hard to talk. You’re a real celebrity now.”
“There’s a place with hardly anyone around.”
A place with no people? Dieta tilted her head. As if offering a hint, Najin pointed out the window.
“Somewhere with a good view. Somewhere you can see the sunset clearly.”
Dieta let out a short “Ah” as the answer came to her. Meanwhile Najin threw open the window, stepped briefly outside the office, and exchanged a few quiet words with Pasion.
From beyond the door came Pasion’s incredulous laugh, followed by a casual “Suit yourself.” The moment Dieta turned her head, curious about what the two were saying, Najin strode right up to her.
“Shall we go, then?”
He held both arms out straight toward her.
“Uh… what are those arms for?”
“Excellent means of transportation?”
Dieta blinked, then laughed when she saw the arms he offered. A moment later she settled into his hold. Najin lifted her lightly and pushed off the ground.
Whoosh—then a soft thud.
He planted a foot on the windowsill and leapt. His movements were light and swift, proving that the recent rumors of his renown were no exaggeration. Even carrying another person, his footsteps barely made a sound.
Only the rattle of the window frame in the sudden gust of wind reached their ears.
“Our charge just got kidnapped. Are we really okay just standing here, senior?”
“Even if we ran ourselves ragged we couldn’t catch him, Lord Romanov.”
“True enough. Sadly.”
“Honestly, if that kid ever decided to snatch someone for real, who could stop him? Could you, Lord Romanov?”
“If I could, I wouldn’t be standing here, would I?”
Watching the two figures vanish into the distance in an instant, Klaus and Pasion both let out dry laughs.
“Youth. Pure youth.”
2.
An open vista. A low hill overlooking the City of Opportunity, Cambria, at a glance. It was the same place Najin had once brought her when he had been assigned as her escort.
Arriving there again now, and in exactly the same fashion as before, Dieta found herself laughing without meaning to. Her own self, changed so much in only a few months, felt strangely unfamiliar.
Back then I thought I was going to throw up.
Now, being carried in Najin’s arms felt almost comfortable. During their flight under the moonlit night she had spent days relying on his back and his embrace. The feel of his arms after so long was still just as snug.
If she could have stayed a little longer, she would have.
Leaving that regret behind, Dieta slipped free of his hold. She straightened her clothes and looked down the hill. The panorama of Cambria, the City of Opportunity, spread out before her. Gazing at the view, she spoke.
“Come to think of it, it’s almost been a full year. We first met in spring, didn’t we? Winter’s nearly over; spring should be here soon.”
“I would have liked to see snow fall at least once, but it seems Cambria doesn’t get any.”
“It’s warm here. We’re in the south, after all.”
“Have you ever seen snow, Dieta?”
“I have. Plenty. Though the memories weren’t particularly good.”
The Arvenia ducal house.
The snow she had watched through the window of a freezing villa had never left her with fond recollections. While other children thought of snowball fights and sledding when the flakes fell, Dieta had only been able to stare at bare, thorny branches.
“And you… you’ve never seen snow yet, have you?”
“Unfortunately, no.”
Najin was from the underground city, and it had not even been a full year since he left it. Thinking about it again, it was remarkable. Even after all the enormous events he had lived through, the fact that less than a year had passed still felt oddly awkward to him at times.
Day by day, time moved slowly. For someone living a life as dense as Najin’s, each day was long and time crawled. Yet when he looked back on the events that had already passed, time felt far too short.
Slow yet fast. Long yet brief.
In that willful flow of time, many people had become tied to him. When he thought of them, the first who rose to mind were Merlin and Dieta—precious connections he had made after leaving the underground city.
“Dieta.”
“Yes, Najin?”
His first friend.
For someone who had never had a friend before, Dieta’s presence loomed larger than he had expected. Perhaps that was why he felt he ought to tell her first—where he was headed, and that the road would not be easy.
“I plan to leave for the Outer Land soon.”
“You’ve already been there once, haven’t you? Before you took down the dragon…”
“That was only temporary. This time is different.”
Najin had reached the realm of Sword Seeker, slain a dragon, and claimed a star. That meant he had finished everything he needed to do in Cambria…
“I’m leaving Cambria.”
It meant the time had come for him to move on to the next stage. At those words Dieta briefly held her breath.
“Well… of course. Your goal is to hang a star in the highest place…”
“To do that I’ll have to go to the battlefield of the stars. That’s the only way to gain more of them.”
Dieta spoke, and Najin continued.
She knew his goal. She had always known that someday he would leave Cambria. The day had simply arrived far sooner than she had expected.
“Once I head to the Outer Land, I won’t be able to visit the Continent often.”
“It’s far. Physically, and conceptually.”
The Outer Land—the land beyond.
And the place Najin called the “battlefield of the stars” was distant not merely in distance but in concept as well. The far shore and the near shore. The afterlife and this life. In every religion and every book, the battlefield of the stars was described as another world entirely.
A place ordinary humans could never set foot. A place even those called strong—Sword Seekers—could not guarantee their lives. The battlefield where the transcendent beings who shone in the night sky dwelled was that kind of place.
“It’ll be dangerous.”
“It will.”
“You’ll get hurt even more than you do now?”
“Almost certainly.”
“I want to tell you not to go, but of course you wouldn’t listen, would you?”
Najin answered with silence.
Dieta let out a long sigh. How did I ever fall for a man like this? It was a thought she had lost count of. She looked into Najin’s eyes.
Sunset-colored, now closer to platinum-gold.
Those eyes were not looking at her.
They always faced somewhere far away. A distant, rugged, impossibly high place. To reach it, Najin ran looking only forward. The sight was magnificent, yet sometimes Dieta felt a little hurt.
As if she were nothing at all to him.
If he would just glance to the side once in a while.
If he would just look at me.
Otherwise she was the only fool, her heart racing and hoping and fluttering over every little thing he did.
A one-sided relationship inevitably wore one side down. She could barely meet his eyes for the thrills, while he seemed to take little interest in her. The realization left her both disappointed and ashamed of her own childishness.
I can’t even cheer him on properly, and here I am feeling left out.
Hadn’t they promised that day? To run toward each other’s goals. To meet at the summit. And yet she felt slighted simply because he was running with his eyes fixed only on his goal.
I’m not usually like this.
Calculating, thorough, rational. A person far removed from the word “emotional.” That was the usual Dieta. Yet for some reason, the moment she stood before Najin she turned into a fool.
She felt the disappointment, but she had no intention of showing it. This was a rare date he had asked for. She refused to waste such a fine moment on petty feelings. Dieta offered a small smile and looked at him.
Just as she was about to continue the conversation—
“I mentioned earlier that I’ve never seen snow.”
Najin, who had been gazing at the sky, lowered his eyes.
Those eyes, which usually sought the stars, turned to Dieta.
“It’s not just snow. There are other things too. I’ve never seen the blue sea that’s supposed to stretch beyond the horizon. What even is that? I read about it in books, but I honestly couldn’t believe it.”
Najin shrugged.
“Snow, the sea, snow-capped mountains… and countless other things besides. I’m ignorant of almost everything. Everything I’ve experienced since leaving the underground city has been completely foreign to me. That’s why every day feels new, and sometimes a little frightening.”
“Frightening? You?”
“Isn’t that natural? The joy of learning what I don’t know is simply greater than the fear. I still have a healthy fear of the unknown.”
Dieta looked at him with clear disbelief. Najin gave a short laugh and leaned against the fence on the hilltop. The breeze toyed with his hair.
“So.”
The words he had meant to say someday.
This seemed like the right moment.
“I’ve always wanted to tell you thank you.”
“……What?”
“Because you were a first for me too.”
And then Najin smiled.
“I consider myself lucky that you’re my first friend.”
His ash-gray hair stirred in the wind.
The smile that appeared between the strands was one Dieta had never seen on him before.
“Honestly, talking with you is pretty enjoyable. You smile so brightly at every little thing I say, and when I see that smile, something in my chest feels at ease. It’s hard to put into words…”
Mischievous, playful, and comfortable.
Exactly the kind of smile a boy his age ought to wear. The moment she faced that natural expression, Dieta’s lips parted slightly without her noticing.
“I enjoy being with you.”
“……”
“Leaving for the Outer Land feels a little regrettable, and I think it’s probably because of you. We won’t be able to talk as often once I’m there. Ah—that doesn’t mean I won’t come back at all. I plan to return to the Continent now and then, even if not often, and when I do…”
Najin kept talking. He kept talking, yet from the middle onward his voice no longer reached Dieta. More precisely, the sentence “I think it’s probably because of you” had been the finishing blow. Everything that followed registered only as a buzzing in her ears.
He enjoys being with me.
He’s reluctant to leave for the Outer Land because of me.
Because we won’t see each other often? Because of me?
Did I mishear that?
The corner of Dieta’s mouth twitched. She covered it with a trembling hand. Her eyes glittered like a beast’s.
“From now on, as friends like this…”
“Najin.”
Dieta cut him off.
Then she took a firm step toward him. Close enough that their breaths might mingle if she came any nearer. She stopped at the distance where their eyes reflected each other, and very slowly, carefully, she moved her lips.
“What you just said… could you say it one more time?”
Her eyes looked as if she were under a spell.
3.
“Hm? Which part?”
“‘I enjoy it.’ The next part. The wind was blowing so hard I couldn’t hear properly. Just once more…”
It was an obvious lie, of course.
Had the wind really been that strong? Najin tilted his head but repeated himself anyway.
“I enjoy being with you.”
Thump. Dieta’s heart pounded wildly.
She staggered a step backward. As she retreated she hurriedly covered her mouth with her hand, and she was grateful she hadn’t been too late.
Because the corners of her lips had lifted of their own accord. No matter how hard she tried to force them down, she could not control her expression. She was probably wearing an unpleasantly smug grin right now.
No, how could I help it?
Ears burning scarlet, Dieta stared at him. Did he even realize what he had just said? Wasn’t that practically a confession? Wait—should I just go for it too? Is this the moment?
A critical hit that paralyzed her reason. She could not form a proper judgment. Her head spun. If the usual Dieta could see herself now she would be screaming, “You crazy woman, snap out of it!” but…
R-right now? Just go for it? Just blurt it out?
Of course the present Dieta could not hear that voice.
She did have excuses ready, though.
Who was Najin? A man so wooden that even when she openly showed her affection he never so much as blinked. Someone who occasionally offered a charming smile but never expressed his emotions properly.
And now he suddenly said something like this?
She knew, of course. That the words did not mean what she wanted them to mean. Najin still had no idea what romantic feelings were; he had spoken purely, as friend to friend. Dieta was not so dense as to miss that.
But… knowing it did not make it easy to calm down. She stretched out an arm to stop the approaching Najin and turned her head away. Looking at that face made composure impossible.
“W-wait a moment.”
Dieta took a deep breath.
Long and slow.
Steadying her breathing, she forced her heart to settle.
Get a grip, Dieta. Didn’t you swear to build this relationship slowly? To knock him down carefully but surely? Charging in all of a sudden like this, driven by emotion, isn’t like you at all.
A snake that swallows gold coins is an excellent merchant.
An excellent merchant always acts rationally.
After a full three minutes of deep breathing, Dieta raised her head. Wearing a composed smile, she prepared to fire back with something like, “Hearing that you’re happy to be with me is embarrassing, you know? But I don’t mind it.” Her lips parted.
“Being with me… I mean, that is…”
They parted, but—
“Th-that…”
The instant she looked straight at Najin’s face, her mind went completely blank.
She could not remember what she had meant to say.
……A snake that swallows gold coins turned into an ordinary girl the moment she stood before Najin.
The dazzling eloquence that won people over, the plans, the schemes, the acting, the gestures—none of it was of any use in front of this man. Everything she used to adorn herself had been stripped away. All that remained was a single girl named Dieta who did not know what to do with herself, stumbling over her words and rolling her eyes this way and that.
That fact left her embarrassed…
and yet she did not entirely dislike it.
“……”
A mind bleached pure white. Lips that only twitched without producing words. Normally she would have stopped here. She would have spun away in flustered embarrassment or muttered “It’s nothing…” in a vanishing voice and fled the scene.
But for some reason, today she did not want to do that.
Because he had shown her a smile she had never seen before? Because he had spoken a sincere, if embarrassing, truth that made her happy? Because he had come at her with genuine feeling, and she refused to answer with lies?
Or was it because the knowledge that he would leave and they would not see each other often made her restless? Because she wanted to take one more step forward from their current relationship? Because she had grown greedy?
She could not pin it on any single reason. All of them simply became an unknown force that pushed her from behind and set her lips in motion.
“Najin.”
“Yes, Dieta? What is it?”
She always chose her words carefully, calculating how they would sound to the other person, how they might help or harm later. That was the usual Dieta.
But not now.
Now she simply put the words that rose into her mouth.
“You said earlier that you were grateful I became your friend. That you’d like us to stay friends like this from now on.”
Najin nodded.
Dieta looked up at him. She had no idea what expression she was wearing. She did not care. She simply said what she wanted to say.
“About that… friends is nice and all, but, um…”
She knew.
She knew she was being impatient. She knew she was excited. And she also knew there was no need to rush.
Knowing all that, she still did not stop.
Rationally speaking it was the wrong answer. Nothing but risk. A deal that did not need to be forced. If any merchant made a deal like this she would sneer, “Third-rate doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
But.
So what?
The corner of Dieta’s mouth twitched.
What did it matter if she did not act rationally? What if she acted on emotion? What if she just blurted it out on impulse? Who said she couldn’t?
Being calculating was enough for the “snake that swallows gold coins.”
In front of Najin, Dieta wanted to be a girl.
“Unfortunately, that won’t work.”
The girl smiled mischievously.
“What I want is a relationship beyond friends.”
A boy heading for a wider stage.
A boy who would experience countless things and meet countless people. Dieta did not want to be remembered by him as nothing more than a fleeting memory. She desired to become a vivid recollection that even the flow of time could not erode.
She took one step closer than usual.
She added one more sentence than usual.
Ignoring the noisy voice of reason screaming that she could still stop, that she could still salvage this, Dieta closed the distance. One step, then another. From the range where their breaths touched, one step more.
Thud.
She came close enough that only she filled his eyes.
Then she spoke, clearly and with force.
“I like you, Najin.”
So that even this boy, a complete novice when it came to romance, would understand, she left him no room to escape and charged straight at him head-on.
A simple, honest attack.
If it were swordsmanship, it would have been Atanga’s blade.