Mahaprajnaparamita
Then... want to sleep with this big sis?
Camellia suddenly thrust her face forward, the heavy stench of alcohol washing over me.
Wow, she really is fucking gorgeous.
“Noona, it looks like you’ve had way too much to drink… Why don’t you calm down first? I’ll take you back to your lodging—”
“I didn’t book one.”
What, is she filming an episode of 2 Days & 1 Night or something? Planning to sleep outdoors? Did she chug a bottle of fish sauce? This woman has actually lost her mind.
“Noona, what are you even saying? Where’s your lodging? Stop messing around and tell me.”
“My lodging… I do have one, I do.”
Yeah, sure you do. Of course an out-of-towner would have secured a place. What a mischievous prank. Are you watching, Mr. Kang Ho-dong? There’s a woman here who avoided outdoor sleeping. And you watching too, Jaejoong?
“My lodging is… Werner, in our little brother’s bed.”
I could hear Mr. Kang Ho-dong roaring “Ma!” And then the sharp “Ding!” from PD Na Young-seok. Finally, Jaejoong’s long sigh.
“Noona, what the hell kind of bullshit is that?”
“Let’s go, let’s go to the lodging~.”
They say some people turn into dogs once alcohol hits them, and Camellia was exactly that type. Normally she was harder than steel and colder than a glacier. But with liquor in her system she was all giggles, and it was honestly kind of cute. The tight muscles of her usually icy face had relaxed into this expression.
“Haah, Noona, I’ll let you stay just one night, so please just stay quiet and come with me…”
“Werner, I’m telling you my lodging is your room.”
Hahaha, not a chance. If you want to claim ownership of someone else’s building that badly, at least bring the property registration first. Don’t try to devour another person’s house for free. Even if elves are fond of reproduction, reproducing buildings is going too far. An elf swallowing a human building—if we abbreviate that… Fuck, that was close. Yeah, let’s say an elf targeting a healthy male and abbreviate it as LG.
“Haa… Fine, Noona. Let’s go.”
“Good. Werner, let’s sleep together with this big sis after so long.”
“You do realize that’s a story from nineteen years ago, right?”
“Nineteen years is basically yesterday~”
“Yeah, sure it is.”
Anyway, I never want to hear long-lived beings brag about their lifespan.
Camellia now seemed unable to even support her own body, so I had no choice but to carry her on my back. The soft touch of her skin enveloped my entire frame. Especially the soft pressure of her chest fat against my back—honestly, I deserve praise just for keeping my sanity.
“This big sis could give up her lifespan, anything at all, if Werner wanted it~.”
“Oh, how delightful~. If Noona says something like that, this Werner doesn’t know where to put himself.”
What on earth is this person going to do when she wakes up tomorrow? I shouldn’t tease her. There’s no point in teasing and getting beaten up. I’ll just bring her some hangover soup later.
“Werner…”
“What is it now, Noona?”
“What do you think of that leader’s daughter?”
“Well, she’s cute. It’s rare to see a girl that pretty. You know that as well as I do, Noona.”
“…What?”
“So she’s the child I cherish most. My precious disciple. She gives me headaches all the time and she’s still immature, but she’ll definitely surpass me one day.”
This line was something the real Werner had actually said about Airi. When a friend asked for his honest opinion of her, he had answered exactly like this. I’m really glad I memorized every single word.
“So the child you cherish, your precious ‘disciple,’ right~? That’s it?”
“Noona, did the alcohol make your ears bad too?”
If an elf has bad hearing, that’s basically a loss of character. A hard-of-hearing elf is like a liberal-arts dwarf or an orc politician. Such a thing should not exist.
“No, let’s hurry.”
Noona patted my back. Somehow the pressure felt stronger than before. Especially the chest fat pressing against my spine.
Werner’s room.
I forcibly laid Noona on the bed. The bed size was awkward—plenty of room for one person, but a little small for two. The guy has plenty of money; why not just buy a bigger house and a bigger bed? Living frugally in a small house just because he was raising his disciple… Come to think of it, that means Werner lived modestly until the end because of Airi.
Wow, his life was actually fucking tragic.
“…You.”
“Werner!”
Camellia’s voice snapped my wandering mind back to reality. Noona was sitting on the bed with both arms spread wide. That posture… was it a rear naked choke?
“Come on, let’s sleep together with this Camellia Noona after so long.”
“To be honest, Noona. I’m an adult now, and that sort of thing feels a little—”
“Are you ignoring this Noona’s words? Our Werner has grown so much.”
Suddenly those arms wrapped around me. I tried to pull away but couldn’t budge. It felt like being bound tightly by thick iron chains. Werner’s strength wasn’t weak, but it was clearly inferior to a professional swordswoman like Camellia. The difference was like that between a Roland gorilla and an impala.
She must have been completely smashed, because Camellia fell asleep almost immediately. A little while after she drifted off, her sleep-talking reached my ears.
“Werner… you must never die… If even you leave this Noona’s side… Noona will be truly sad…”
Their relationship had begun when Camellia projected her lost younger brother onto Werner, but the two had been closer than anyone. If there were an official setting book, each other’s names would probably be listed under “favorite things.” Yeah, this wasn’t simple familial affection. At least not for Camellia.
Because of her fierce embrace, my face gradually drew closer to her chest. Close enough that my breath would probably brush against it. Since I’m a man, blood inevitably rushed downward. To the point that I wondered if crossing the line might be okay.
“Werner, during the day… I’m sorry…”
Yeah, how could I lay a hand on someone this good? If she were sober and actually wanted it, maybe. But I had no desire to touch a woman who was blackout drunk. No matter how I thought about it, that wasn’t something Werner would do.
Still, Werner had been pretty popular. Maybe he should have changed his name to Siwoo Alton. Well, his looks were top-tier among the male characters in this world. The only problems were his pessimistic and eccentric personality.
“Noona, sleep well.”
With those words I finally gave up on forcing my heavy eyelids open. A lot had happened today, so I was genuinely tired.
“…Hey!”
“Wake up, you perverted master!”
A dull impact slammed into my backside. I bolted upright in surprise to find Airi standing there holding a frying pan. Did she seriously hit me with that?
“What’s wrong, Airi…? Is it already time to get up?”
The sun was still high in the sky; it was still sleeping time.
“No, that’s not it! The person next to you!”
“What…?”
When I looked over, Camellia was sleeping peacefully. Her sleeping face was beautiful too. It was hard to believe the unhinged behavior from yesterday.
“You said she was just a colleague…”
“No, Airi, this is a misunderstanding. Just listen to me for a second.”
Let’s organize the situation. After you went to sleep, I went out drinking with Camellia Noona, brought the drunk Noona back, and we slept in the same bed—hahaha. Fuck, that sounds exactly like something that would cause a misunderstanding.
“Anyway, it’s a misunderstanding… Nothing you’re imagining happened…”
I shouldn’t have done sex education so early. No, this is all because of those damn romance novels. I should burn every last one of those cursed books.
“There really wasn’t…?”
“That’s right… Just sleeping beside each other! Yeah, we just shared the bed because there was nowhere else to sleep.”
“I see… Then I’ll believe you.”
Airi unexpectedly accepted my words without resistance.
“No matter how I think about it, Master isn’t the type with the courage to make the first move on a woman.”
She trusted me, but the feeling was strangely dirty.
“Mmm… mm…”
At that moment Camellia stretched and woke up. If she would just confirm the story, all suspicion would be cleared.
Camellia looked back and forth between me and Airi, then spoke.
“Werner, thank you for last night. You must be tired after carrying me all the way like that.”
No, fuck, I gave you a piggyback ride—phrasing it that way is going to cause problems. I could feel Airi’s gaze igniting. She’s going to awaken her Sharingan at this rate.
Then Camellia turned to Airi and said,
“And good morning to you. Airi, the most precious ‘disciple’ to Werner.”
Airi immediately fired back.
“Yes, it certainly is a very good morning after watching someone drink and barge into another person’s house. You’re a close colleague to Master, right? Sorry for any inconvenience yesterday.”
I sincerely wished Airi’s father would show up, cut off one of my arms, and resolve the situation. Later, if a white-bearded old man asked what happened to that arm, I could answer that I had offered it to a new era.