The Baby of the Party
The cafe where I was supposed to meet Camellia. I had already sent Airi off on a quest to deal with wild boars in the countryside. With her current skills, a few boars wouldn't be a problem.
Camellia, who had taken the wallet, dropped sugar cubes into her coffee and stirred it with a spoon before asking, "So you lot stormed the headquarters of the criminal organization that runs this city?"
"Yeah... I hate troublesome jobs, but since it's big sis's request, I gave her special service."
After saying that, I mixed the melon juice thoroughly with ice and downed it in one gulp. Good thing I always bought the setting books and fanbooks whenever they came out. Thanks to that, I knew all the little details—like Werner only ever ordering melon juice at cafes. If this were a movie, I'd deserve an acting award for this method acting. I was busy imagining my acceptance speech to the director, staff, and parents when a sharp impact suddenly struck my head.
"Thwack!"
Camellia had slammed her scabbard into my forehead. Werner must really have some curse written on his forehead. Every chance she gets, his skull gets cracked. Damn it.
"Werner... What was the first lesson the rest of us taught you?"
The others were the protagonist's party from Dragnity Fantasy 1—Werner's companions. Though they were called companions, they were practically adoptive parents. Come to think of it, that meant he had plenty of moms and dads. Wow, Werner was apparently immune to jokes about having an odd number of parents or multiple sets of them.
"...If it looks dangerous, ask the older brothers or sisters for help?"
"Correct. And what happened when you ignored our warnings and charged into a cave full of demonic beasts alone?"
"I almost got eaten by the Spider Queen and had to be rescued by big sis and big brother. Got a brutal scolding afterward, of course."
The big brother mentioned here was Airi's father.
"Even after being scolded like that, you still lack self-awareness. You're still a fool."
No matter how young the kid was, tying him to the top of a tree for an entire day seemed excessive. Then again, it just proved how much they doted on Werner as the youngest.
"Big sis, I'm an adult now. Hell, I'm already knocking on the door of middle age. Plus I'm a mage with real skills. You can stop worrying—"
At that moment, a sharp blade touched my neck. The sword with its blue edge gleamed with lethal sharpness.
"See that? Werner, you just died once."
"...Big sis, aren't you taking the joke a little too far?"
She's not Middle District Brother or whatever— this joke is way too much. I almost pissed myself just now.
"I can't understand why the leader entrusted his daughter to you."
Camellia slid the sword back into its scabbard. A clear ringing sound brushed against my ears.
"But the other companions and I all agree on one thing. From what we've seen, you are..."
Camellia grabbed my cheek and squeezed hard. Damn, her grip strength was no joke.
"Still just the youngest who used to whine about almost dying to a demonic beast."
No, big sis, let's talk after you let go first.
"Urgh—thith ith—"
Only then did she release me.
Yeah, the Dragnity Fantasy 1 party members had really cherished Werner, the youngest. Especially Camellia—she'd seen her deceased younger sister in him and doted on him even more. Even though the gender was different, she'd said his personality and atmosphere resembled hers a lot.
"By the way, big sis."
"What now?"
"What brings you to this city? You hate crowded places."
In the game it was because she came to check on Airi, the leader's daughter, but I still had to ask for the sake of plausibility. My throat felt dry, so I took another swig of melon juice.
"I came to see you."
"Pfft!"
Melon juice shot out of my nose.
"Did I need your permission to come see you?"
"No, big sis, that's not it—wait, hold on."
The excuse was too unexpected. No matter what, Werner was a former companion. Couldn't she just say she came to see the leader's daughter?
"That... big sis, why exactly did you come to see me...?"
"To take you with me."
"Huh?"
"The leader has recalled everyone. You're coming too, Werner."
Honorifics slipped out without me realizing. It was only natural after hearing something so unexpected.
"Big sis, you clearly told me not to get involved in dangerous things, remember?"
"I did. Have you already forgotten my words?"
"No, big sis. If it's something serious enough for the leader to recall everyone, wouldn't joining in be dangerous?"
My head wasn't working right because the situation was so absurd. The thugs in this city were basically level-1 slimes. In Digimon terms, like Agumon. But the recalled Dragnity Fantasy 1 party were dragons. In Digimon terms, like BlackWarGreymon. Getting involved meant exactly that. Werner wouldn't lose, but I wanted nothing to do with that kind of risk.
"Big sis... Isn't it obviously more dangerous for me to join a fight that requires big brother to recall everyone than storming some neighborhood thugs' headquarters...?"
"Who said you have to fight, Werner?"
"What?"
"You just need to stay in the rear and receive our protection. Just like old times—safe in the backline."
Werner had joined battles often enough, but in several fights the others had protected him so he could skip boss fights or clean up small fries.
"Big sis, wouldn't it be better to just stay in a safe city? If that's the case, why even—"
"The signs of the times are ominous lately, Werner."
"Yeah, I also invested in the Three Star Merchant Guild last time and lost a fortune—"
Camellia grabbed me by the collar this time. Her tone was calm, but she was a woman with a fiery temper.
"Does this look like a joke to you, Werner?"
"Do you still see me as the baby, big sis? Still grabbing me by the collar like this."
Acting as Werner was exhausting. The official setting books described his personality as "pessimistic but warm to his own people, always getting dragged into things, but terrifying when angry." How was anyone supposed to act that out?
"Besides, did the leader—big brother—agree to this too?"
No way. The protagonist of Dragnity Fantasy 1 had entrusted his daughter to Werner. There was no chance he'd agree to this.
"Everyone except the leader agreed."
"No, you guys are way too overprotective. I'm a twenty-nine-year-old grown man, not some baby left by the river."
Of course they cherished him that much—that was why they'd scolded Airi so harshly for getting Werner killed.
"Let go right now, big sis. Before I really get angry."
I released my mana the way Werner did when he got mad. The aftershock shook the entire cafe.
Whoa. I just let out a metaphorical fart and caused an earthquake. Werner, the Fart Captain, surpassing even Captain Poopypants.
"You should come along right now, Werner. Before I really draw my sword."
When Camellia released her killing intent, everyone in the cafe collapsed. They'd been stumbling around from Werner's mana vibration and then fainted all at once.
What the hell, that wasn't Conqueror's Haki or anything.
"If a truly dangerous situation arises... you'll be the first one targeted, Werner, since you can use every attribute of magic."
"Then I'll deal with it myself when the time comes. Can you all just stop worrying about my business?"
No, seriously, I just wanted to hole up in this city, hand Airi over once the fight ended, and live peacefully. Besides, if I went there, the protagonist of Dragnity Fantasy 1 would glare daggers at me. Whether I left the kid behind or took her with me, he'd give me endless side-eye for not listening.
"It seems I'll have to use force to take you after all."
Camellia placed her hand on the sword at her waist. Her left hand was still gripping my collar. No matter how strong Werner was, he'd lose to Camellia in close combat.
"Sleep for a while, Werner."
Just as I started chanting a spell to respond, the cafe door jingled open.
"Master! Your cute disciple has finished the request and come back! I'm thirsty, so buy me an iced coffee..."
Airi walked in with a bright smile, then froze at the sight of the chaos.
Thank goodness. I didn't want to fight, but if Airi was here I could relax. With her flower-brained personality, she'd definitely stop the fight. Plus I could use the excuse that my disciple had arrived to slip away, and Camellia wouldn't threaten the leader's daughter anyway.
Airi walked toward us. She'd definitely say something like "Don't fight! Both of you, calm down first!" That was just the kind of character she was.
Without a word, Airi approached, grabbed Camellia's left hand, and spoke.
"Let go, you old hag. Before I kill you."
What the hell did this kid just say to her father's friend?