The Graduation Test
Even after that, the adults kept forcing us to kill. Children who murdered without hesitation received good food and comfortable bedding, while those who hesitated were beaten and starved. Some died from the beatings or starvation. Number 69 was among them. I respected that child. She held fast to her belief that killing was wrong until the very end.
The types of people we were made to kill grew more varied. Children caught trying to escape the facility. Adults who couldn't bear the guilt and attempted to report us to the outside world. Muscular adults strong enough to kill several of us in a fight. Groups of what looked like high school students, more than forty at a time. We killed them all. Occasionally, famous people were brought in. According to Lee Baek, there was a celebrity known for ruining a business and a singer who had scammed hundreds of billions. Sometimes we even had to kill adults who claimed they had come to rescue us.
Someone once said that conscience is like a triangle. When you do something bad, it stabs your heart and hurts. But the more bad things you do, the more the triangle wears down, becoming rounder until it barely hurts at all. Eventually, the conscience disappears. I don't know who said it, but it was true. We killed people without a second thought, all for better meals and better places to sleep. Guilt had long since vanished.
"Baek-sa, Baek-sa."
"What is it?"
"Here, eat this."
Lee Baek always ate only half her meal and gave me the meat side dishes. She would smile and say she was already full just watching me eat.
"Why do you always leave the meat?"
"...It's nothing. I just don't have an appetite."
"You're weird too."
"U-uh... Well, I'm a descendant of Confucius and the guardian saint of Confucianism, so of course."
"Still spouting that insane nonsense I can barely understand."
That day, I learned what a cobra twist felt like firsthand. Even after three years, I still couldn't beat Lee Baek, and the realization left me hollow. How could a girl be that strong and know so many techniques?
"Hey, I'm sorry, so let go! My bones are seriously going to break, you crazy bitch!"
"Hahaha! You've finally witnessed the greatness of the Heavenly Demon Divine Art!"
"You were going on about being a Confucian heir earlier, you lunatic! Pick one!"
"A healthy body houses a healthy mind! That's why the Heavenly Demon Divine Art is a required course in Confucianism!"
"No, you're actually insane!"
That was the first time I faced the fear of death. Men in black robes and black hats had been calling my name from the other side. If they hadn't been flipping through the registry wondering where my name was, I would have died that day. Those incompetent grim reapers probably didn't even know I had been born nameless and abandoned.
"Alright, today's game is going to be a little special."
The man who seemed to be the leader among the adults smiled at us. I thought, They're probably just going to make us kill someone again. Like butchers, we stabbed when told to stab, cut when told to cut, and killed when told to kill.
The adults separated us from our partners and led each half to a large training hall. Then they spoke.
"Only one child will be able to leave this room. Think of it as a graduation exam. That'll make it easier to understand."
We were all dumbfounded.
"Ah, did I make it sound too complicated? Let me put it simply. From now on, kill each other. If you don't... well, you all know what happens."
I suddenly remembered the bracelets on our wrists. The rule that if your partner died, you died too. When some children noticed their bracelets, the leader smirked.
"There are some smart ones after all. Your partners on the other side are taking the same test. If they die, you die. If you die, they die."
In other words, it was a battle royale where only one pair could survive.
"We don't need the weaklings, so I'd like you to sort out the real ones yourselves. Well then, fight well. I'll be rooting for you."
The leader closed the door and left. After three years here, we understood. If we didn't obey, we would all be slaughtered.
Children whose consciences had become perfectly round began the bloody fight, killing one another. Of course, none of them could beat me. I had trained with Lee Baek every single day, memorizing judo, taekwondo, Muay Thai, and karate.
Then Number 287 swung a knife at me. He must have hidden it, expecting something like this during the test. I grabbed his wrist tightly.
"Aaaagh!"
He screamed and dropped the knife. I picked it up and stabbed him to death. With the knife in hand, I cut down the others without pause. Number 12, 397, 215, 167, 28, 399, 271, 265, 144, 223, 316... I showered in blood. I stood atop the children's corpses. I had no serious injuries. Seeing that I was alive, I knew instinctively that Lee Baek was alive too. The fact filled me with joy, regardless of who else had died.
The adults had called this the graduation exam. Once we got out, we would eat jajangmyeon together, read manhwa, watch movies, play games... I wanted to keep living with her. For the first time, I wanted to stay with someone. Looking back now, that was my first love.
"Oh, as expected, you two are the ones left."
When the leader opened the door and entered, I quickly hid the knife. It had been a bare-handed match, so getting caught with a weapon would only complicate things.
"Since the graduation exam is over, follow me."
Following the leader, I saw Lee Baek, covered in blood just like me. She looked at me with a sorrowful expression.
"You crazy bitch! You managed not to die! Let's get out of this shithole!"
The leader chuckled.
"We took such good care of you, and you call it a shithole. That's harsh. But what can we do? We can't let both of you leave."
"What?"
"There's still the graduation ceremony left, you see."
I stared into his eyes, half in disbelief. He continued smiling kindly.
"There can only be one graduate. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
He removed the bracelet from my wrist. I noticed Lee Baek's was already gone. So that was why she had looked so sad.
From now on, we had to kill each other.
I clenched my teeth. Silently, I walked toward Lee Baek.
"What are you doing... Get into stance, you crazy bitch."
I was anxious. Uneasy. There was no way I could beat her. She was an insurmountable wall I had never once defeated in three years of fighting.
That wall slowly approached me. Realizing I couldn't win with my bare hands, I tried to surprise her with the hidden knife. But the moment I drew it and moved to stab her, she clearly recognized the attack. In that brief instant when I realized she had seen it coming, I sensed my death. She was strong enough to deflect the attack, take the knife, and kill me.
Instead, Lee Baek offered no resistance and let herself be stabbed. No—she let me stab her.
"Hey... You saw it... What the hell are you doing, you crazy bitch... You saw me pull out the knife!"
Lee Baek smiled sadly as she approached. With each step, the blade sank deeper. She let out short groans but kept smiling. Then she pulled me into a warm embrace.
"Our Baek-sa... without me, you won't have any friends... What will you do..."
"Hey, what are you suddenly..."
"Baek-sa, to be honest, I was scared of killing people. But... if I died, you would die too... That scared me more..."
"You crazy bitch, why did you let me stab you!"
I had always known I could never beat her. So at the very least, I wanted to die putting up a desperate, cowardly fight to ease her guilt.
"But now that I'm dying, you'll live... I thought that was truly fortunate. Our Baek-sa... even without noona... you won't cry, right?"
"What the hell is the point if you die, you crazy bitch! You said you had so many things you wanted to do with me!"
"Then our Baek-sa can do them in my place... Games, manhwa, movies, the Heavenly Demon Art, being a Confucian successor... If our Baek-sa does them all for me... I think that would be nice..."
With those words, she drew her last breath.
My first love ended just like that.
And I decided to do everything she had wanted to do. Because that was her request.