The Rude Dwarf

Raibel's voice trembled as she clung to me. "Ah, Lord Arwen..." The moment I stepped toward Wolfgang, she grabbed my right arm from behind with both hands. I could feel her shaking through her grip.

I turned and gently reassured the anxious dog-girl. "Don't worry, Raibel." I patted her hand a few times before carefully prying it from my arm.

Watching us, Wolfgang let out a vulgar whistle. "Whew~ Getting hot and heavy right in the middle of the day, huh? *Hic*." He finished with a loud, theatrical belch that somehow made the whole thing even worse.

'What the hell has he been eating as a side dish?' The stench was like something straight out of a week-old garbage bin. Raibel had already covered her nose with both hands. I wanted to leave immediately, but turning back now just because of the smell felt ridiculous.

I forced my face to stay neutral and greeted the dwarf. "Good day to you, Mister Wolfgang."

"Oh? You know my name. Did Victor tell you?" Victor was the owner of the tavern in Schubern village.

'Something like that.' I'd learned his name from Victor in my previous life, but I simply nodded. "That's correct."

Wolfgang looked me up and down from head to toe, then clicked his tongue. "Tsk. I asked him to introduce me to someone with money, and he sends a damn kid."

He immediately went back to chugging from his bottle. Even though this was our first meeting, his complete disregard for basic courtesy made me want to slap him twice as hard as I'd felt watching him on a monitor.

'His lack of manners is exactly the same as before.'

I shot back without missing a beat. "Well, there's no rule saying a kid can't be a customer."

With that, I pulled out the coin pouch I'd grabbed from the desk in my room back at the mansion. It jingled heavily in my palm—clearly full of substantial weight. Inside were seventy gold coins, each larger and heavier than a 500-won piece. The starting funds the developer had given the player.

'There's a status window but no inventory. How does that make sense?'

Not only was there no inventory, but the map, system settings, and most other functions were also locked. Only the status window and notification windows worked.

'Well, if all of that worked, I'd basically be a god.'

That was why I'd had to lug this heavy pouch all the way here myself. I subtly opened the top of the bag. Even under the shadowed bridge, the gold coins sparkled like grains of sand on a beach.

Wolfgang's eyes immediately lit up. "*Hic*. That's quite a lot of pocket money for a kid."

"You're still calling me a kid? I'm a customer now, aren't I?" I shook the pouch teasingly.

"So, could you please show your customer some merchandise?"

Wolfgang glared at me for a moment before slamming his bottle down with a loud clack. "Hmph. So you're some rich family's young master, huh? Whatever. As long as I get paid, I don't care."

He yanked back the cloth covering his cart. "Take a good look, then."

Finally, the moment I'd been waiting for. It was time to inspect Wolfgang's items.

The goods were neatly arranged on the cart. "What do you think? Impressive, right? Kehehehel."

Wolfgang let out an unpleasant laugh and picked up one of the items. It was a rod with a bulbous tip that protruded like the glans of a penis. Actually, it wasn't like a glans—it was shaped exactly like one.

What Wolfgang was holding was a dildo.

Raibel spoke in a trembling voice. "...W-what are all these?"

It was only natural she'd be flustered. The items on the cart weren't ordinary swords or armor. There were all sorts of bizarrely shaped dildos, bottles filled with suspicious-looking liquids, outfits that only perverts would wear, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and a wide variety of other tools clearly meant for nighttime activities.

She could never have guessed that her young master's outing was to an adult goods shop.

Unlike Raibel, however, I wasn't surprised by the perverted items at all.

'I pretty much expected this.'

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

Based on everything I'd experienced so far, there was a 99.99% chance that Wolfgang's merchandise had been adjusted to fit the adult game version. And my prediction had been spot on. It was almost too obvious.

'Sorry, Raibel. I'll explain later.'

I stepped closer to the cart and examined the items. "This one...?"

The first thing that greeted me was a massive green dildo. Its tip curved like a fishhook in a grotesque shape. What was even more peculiar was that the dildo was twitching slightly.

The moment I picked up the disgusting-looking object, an item information window appeared.

'What the fuck? They actually made this out of an ogre's dick?'

No wonder it looked so nasty. The description perfectly matched its revolting appearance. The way it kept squirming in my hand suddenly felt disgusting. I quickly set the dildo back down.

The price scrawled on the tag read 100 gold.

'100 gold? That's way out of my league.'

My entire fortune right now was only 70 gold. The rest of the items seemed to be in a similar price range. Even though the types of goods had changed, the ridiculous prices remained the same.

'Maybe I should look for something cheaper?'

I scanned the tags, searching for lower numbers. My eyes landed on a 20-gold price tag. The item with the relatively reasonable price was a bottle containing a suspicious pink liquid.

When I stared at the potion bottle, Wolfgang spoke up. "Kehel, looks like our young master has a woman he wants to fuck, huh?"

"Excuse me?"

His way of speaking was truly something else. Among all the Wolfgangs I'd met in the game, the one in Schubern had always been the most eccentric.

'But he wasn't this vulgar before.'

Wolfgang didn't seem to care whether I was offended or not. After taking another swig, he explained the potion.

"*Hic*. That's an aphrodisiac. A very special one, at that."

"Special how?"

Wolfgang looked at me and smiled wickedly. "Unlike regular aphrodisiacs, this Eros's Potion makes the target go into heat for one specific person only."

'Really now?'

I checked the item's exact information.

'Calling an aphrodisiac a love potion? Give me a break.'

Still, the effect was exactly what I needed right now. This was precisely why I'd insisted on coming to the village despite Isabel's objections.

"Alright. I'll take one bottle of this."

I slipped the bottle into my pocket, then took out twenty gold coins from the pouch and handed them to Wolfgang.

"Khehehe, thank you, customer." Wolfgang cackled as he examined the coins from every angle.

I left the gold-obsessed dwarf alone and continued browsing the rest of the goods. Suddenly, having tasted money, Wolfgang came scurrying over with something in his hands.

"Hey, customer! How about this one?"

The item he enthusiastically recommended was a bondage lingerie made of thorn-covered vines that looked like they would dig into the skin. The underwear, decorated with red rose petals, had no fabric whatsoever covering the nipples or crotch.

'Can a person actually wear this?'

Careful not to get pricked by the sharp thorns, I took the item. An information window for the decidedly un-underwear-like underwear popped up.

'Hmm... it's a bit much.'

This was hardcore SM gear, even among the most extreme varieties. At this early stage of the game, I couldn't think of any immediate use for it. Besides, the Thorn Lingerie of Pleasure cost 98 gold, and I only had 50 gold left. I couldn't buy it even if I wanted to.

I handed the lingerie back to Wolfgang. "No thanks. I'll look at something else."

"What? I'm practically selling this at a loss for 98 gold! This should normally go for double that!"

Apparently not expecting rejection, Wolfgang's voice rose sharply. I told him the truth.

"I'm sorry, but it's over my budget."

"What? Damn it, you should've brought more... Wait, no, never mind."

The grumbling dwarf suddenly went quiet. His bulging eyes rolled around like marbles before he finally spoke again.

"Fine. If you agree to my condition, I can let you have this for half price."

That must have been what he'd been thinking about. I asked, "Half price?"

"That's right. Practically giving it away."

"...So, what's the condition?"

Wolfgang revealed his filthy true nature. He pointed at Raibel with his finger. "The condition is that you put this on that beastkin and let me have a go at her."

At the sudden mention of herself, Raibel's shoulders flinched.

"Y-Young Master?"

Raibel hid behind my back, trying to escape Wolfgang's lecherous gaze. The dwarf looked down at her from atop his cart and grinned, showing all his yellow teeth.

"Kahaha! With a leather belt and this lingerie, any woman will turn into a proper bitch."

He kept trying to persuade me with all sorts of filthy talk.

"Once you get a taste of how tight their pussy gets when you choke them right before they pass out, you won't be able to cum from normal sex anymore, you know?"

Wolfgang wiggled his fat belly enthusiastically. "It's not a bad deal, is it? And don't worry too much—I won't completely break her. Hehehe."

At the dwarf's obscene laughter directed at her body, Raibel pressed herself tightly against my back, trembling violently.

Growing impatient with my silence, Wolfgang pressed for an answer. "Hey, young master! Say something!"

"..."

I still didn't respond. Was I actually considering his offer? Fuck no. Absolutely not.

Having consumed countless porn videos, hentai, and adult games, there was one genre I would never touch.

NTR.

The idea of getting aroused by having someone precious to me stolen away was completely incomprehensible.

'NTR is absolutely, positively unacceptable.'

I said "absolutely" twice because it's that important. Some might call me a hypocrite, but this is simply my preference.

Anger surged through me at Wolfgang for daring to slap an NTR tag onto my precious game.

I roughly yanked off the hood I'd been wearing, both to vent the steam filling my head and to reveal my face. "You horny pig bastard. You really thought you could lay a hand on my woman? You must be out of your mind."

"What? You just said... W-wait, aren't you—?"

The moment Wolfgang saw my face, he turned deathly pale. He immediately jumped down from the cart and bowed deeply.

"I-I'm terribly sorry! I had no idea such a noble person would visit ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠this humble place!"

His attitude had ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠done a complete 180. The sight of him groveling made me snort.

The Wolfgang brothers had always been like this. They acted arrogantly and rudely until they learned the protagonist's identity, at which point they cowered like a wild boar in front of a starving tiger.

One might wonder why I didn't just reveal I was a noble from the start, but I had my reasons.

'What good would come from a noble getting involved with a black-market merchant?'

If others found out, it wouldn't create favorable rumors. It would also be troublesome if Isabel learned about it.

'Damn it. I was trying to hide my identity because dealing with this pig's loose lips would be annoying.'

But the bastard had pressed my rage button and ruined the plan. I could literally feel my forehead wrinkling from the anger.

I spoke in a cold voice. "So you know who I am?"

"O-of course! In the Empire, the only high-ranking family with silver hair is the great Reinhardt household."

"Hmm... You're better informed than you look, aren't you?"

Even when I openly mocked him, Wolfgang didn't show any sign of displeasure. A classic example of acting strong before the weak and weak before the strong.

"For someone in the underworld like me, information is life itself. Hehe."

I stepped closer to him. "Hiiik!"

Just my approach made Wolfgang squeal like a pig at the slaughterhouse.

"Then, what punishment should be given to someone who has insulted such a great noble?"

I looked at Wolfgang and drew a line across my throat with my hand. "Cutting off that filthy neck seems about right, doesn't it?"

At my words, Wolfgang flattened himself against the ground. Drool slid down his bushy beard and dripped onto the floor.

He begged desperately for his pathetic life. "P-please, spare my life! I-I swear I'll never do it again!"

"Is that so?"

"I swear on the Goddess Elysia, it's the truth!"

"Good. But if you ever utter such words in front of me again, I'll have my soldiers crush your balls and—"

I walked over to his cart, picked up the dildo, and continued.

"—shove these dildos into every single one of your holes, stuff you in a sack, and throw you into the river. Understood?"

I wasn't sure if the term "concrete shoes" existed in this world, but that was essentially what I was threatening.

The arrogant dwarf trembling before me clearly understood just how much power a noble of the Empire held.

Wolfgang repeatedly slammed his bald head against the ground as he answered. "I-I will engrave it in my heart!"

'Hmm... That should be enough, right?'

After unleashing a tirade on the insolent dwarf, the rage that had exploded inside me finally began to subside. My mind felt refreshingly clear, like I'd just brushed my teeth and drunk a glass of orange juice.