Sins Do Not Disappear
The sins you've committed don't disappear. The things you've done don't vanish. Those who sin must be punished. That's only natural.
I had intended to speak with Rayna, but I had no intention of letting her go. No matter how close we had once been... no. Precisely because I had believed we were close, I wanted her to receive a punishment that fit the crime.
The only question I had wrestled with was a matter of scales: whether I would kill her myself, or whether I would stand her before a court of law. If she had been willing to confess her sins and turn herself in, things might have been simpler. But someone who had chosen betrayal — who had cast her companions aside the moment they outlived their usefulness — was hardly going to change her heart so easily.
Perhaps I still didn't understand the world. No matter how much I pondered and turned it over in my mind, the question of good and evil never resolved itself. If what had been done to me had been done to someone else, I would never have forgiven the one who did it. But because I was the one who had suffered it, I had wanted them to come forward, confess, and stand in the place where they would receive their proper punishment.
These were thoughts the Hero Olivia Reinhardt would never have troubled herself with.
Anguish. Doubt. It was all so terribly complicated.
No. For now, I would set Rayna's matter aside.
"It has been some time, Hero Olivia Reinhardt."
"Yes, it has."
"Only now that you have been reduced to that state do you finally employ honorifics."
"I'm not used to it yet, so please forgive me if my speech slips without warning."
The person standing before me was Titania. She looked like a young elf, but the truth was that she had already lived far beyond even an elf's natural span. I didn't know why she had lived so long, but she had occupied the throne of Titania — Queen of the Elves — for a stretch of time extraordinary even by elven standards, and among her people, her power was absolute.
"Livia, how would you like to proceed? Shall I speak?"
It was a kindness. But I shook my head.
"I'll handle it. If you think I'm going about this the wrong way, step in."
"Understood."
Lois always asked for my opinion. Perhaps, of everyone in that Hero's party, the one who had truly belonged in the leader's seat had been Lois all along. For all my talk, I had been overbearing and self-righteous. He would have been far better suited to the role than I ever was. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how foolish the Hero Olivia Reinhardt had been.
"What a wretched state you are in."
"First, have the elves around us step aside."
"What did you just say!?"
"You're telling us to leave Titania alone!? We wouldn't even do that for an ordinary person — let alone someone like you, who might well do her harm!"
"Silence."
A heavy thud rang out as a rather dignified-looking elf struck the floor with his sword. An elf wielding a blade was not a common sight. I couldn't recall who he was, but I had the distinct impression that, of all the elves present, he was the strongest after Titania herself. The dignified elf regarded me for a moment, then turned toward Titania.
"What is your will, Titania?"
"It matters not. Withdraw."
"Titania!"
"That is an order. Withdraw."
The other elves looked as though they wanted to protest, but when the knight-elf addressed them with force, they withdrew — discontent plain on their faces, but with no choice in the matter. Before long, only my companions and Titania remained in the chamber.
I hadn't expected her to agree without asking a single question. Did she have some ulterior motive? Reading that intent was far too difficult for me. I had never been good at it to begin with.
"A curse lies upon you."
"You can tell?"
"I know little of the circumstances. Only that a curse lies upon your body, and that you have come to Elvenheim. I cannot say what else might be gleaned from that, but this much is surely true: you have been cursed, and you have come here seeking its removal."
"That's right. I've been afflicted with the Curse of the God of Death."
Titania's indifferent expression twisted, just for an instant.
"What lunatic used a curse like that? Did they even know the price it exacts? ...No. Enough. It is none of my concern."
A price?
Come to think of it, curses often exacted a cost from the one who used them as well. Did the Curse of the God of Death carry such a price? I wanted to ask, but that wasn't the most important thing right now — and besides, she wasn't the type to patiently explain anything from start to finish even if I did.
"I would like to borrow the World Tree sap."
"'Borrow' is a word one uses when one intends to return a thing. Speak truly: 'Give me the sap of the World Tree.'"
"Ah, right... Yes. That's correct."
I thought I saw Lois smile, just a little. Ugh. That stung my pride. Sylphy had been so tense this whole time he barely seemed able to breathe.
"So. Will you give it to me?"
"Hrm."
Titania considered for a moment, then spoke.
"No."
"...Is it because I destroyed the forest?"
"That was irritating, to be sure, but you had your reasons, and it is hardly a matter worth reproach. I would not persecute the Hero who slew the Demon King and saved the world over so paltry a thing."
Titania spoke as though none of it particularly mattered to her, her tone utterly indifferent.
"The first assault was Rayna's doing, of her own accord. Thereafter you were received as honored guests, all the way here. That much is certain."
"...Then why? Am I allowed to ask?"
At my question, Titania looked at me. Those eyes still seemed to see through everything, and I honestly couldn't stand them.
"I shall not tell you why. You are no elf, and you look kindly upon half-elves. That gives me still less reason to tell you."
"Never mind that I'm not an elf — what does it matter that I'm well-disposed toward half-elves?"
"Can you swear you shall never become a blight upon Elvenheim? Even a Hero who saved the world does not mean that a people exist solely within the bounds of goodwill."
"..."
"I shall have a room prepared. Rest if you wish. As befits the Hero who saved the world, I will see to it that most requests — beginning with your meals — are granted. But the sap of the World Tree, I cannot give you."
She had no intention of explaining why. That much was a will of iron. Hostility. She did not trust me. And it wasn't because of the trouble I had caused. There was something else at work here.
"I'll come again."
"Come as often as you like. The answer shall be the same. Within this Elvenheim, you may do as you please."
"...Even if I tore the sap from the World Tree by force? You'd still call that freedom?"
"Olivia Reinhardt. I dislike you, but you are a Hero of pride. ...One who would commit such an act merely to survive would never have become a Hero in the first place."
"..."
This time, there was a faint trace of something almost like goodwill in her gaze. I didn't understand. I couldn't read her. Had Lois managed to read something I couldn't? He was simply watching Titania, as if observing her. I wasn't going to die tomorrow, so it would be better to go back, talk it over with him, and try a different approach.
"Even if this curse was brought about by your daughter — by Rayna?"
"...Rayna did this?"
For the first time, Titania was shaken.
"She didn't do it herself, but she tried to reduce me to this and kill me. She claimed she didn't know about the Curse of the God of Death, though."
"...This is the first I have heard of it. I might well be capable of such a thing, but Rayna has not that nature. How strange."
I had felt the same doubt. More to the point — she thought she herself might be capable of it? What a goddamn hag. Did she think looking young and pretty on the outside made everything forgivable?
"Fine. That's all I have to say today."
"Hrm. Then has anyone else something to say?"
"Sylphy."
"Ah — yes!"
"You said you had something to say."
"...!"
I wasn't dying tomorrow, so I was fine. Stalling wouldn't do me any favors, but I had to find a way to resolve this peacefully somehow. More than that — last time I had come to Elvenheim, I hadn't learned a thing. This time, I might have a chance to look around. Even with the world saved, these elves still lived in isolation, doing nothing but existing in their forest. A new wind needed to blow through this elven prison. I didn't know if Sylphy could be the one to play that role, but we had to try something.
Sylphy stood beside me and looked at Titania. Titania looked back at him.
"It has been some time."
"It has been a long time, Titania."
When he was with us, he just called her Grandmother. Now he was calling her Titania. Lois still said nothing, simply watching her.
"I apologize for not visiting in so long."
"I was the one who refused you. Why should you apologize?"
"..."
"Had you not come as a companion of the Hero, you would never have been permitted to set foot in Elvenheim at all."
"Do you hate me that much?"
Titania fell silent. For the first time, she could not answer a question that had been put to her. Was I imagining it? Right now, Titania looked deeply troubled — reacting with something almost human, unlike anything she had shown until now.
"I can understand why you'd hate me. I am the living brand of your daughter's enslavement — I myself am a disgrace to the elves. I understand that. Especially for the royal bloodline, for Titania's own kin, the existence of someone like me must be intolerable."
"..."
"That's why I don't resent you, Titania. That feeling is profoundly human, and I don't believe it's wrong. We won't die from not seeing each other's faces, and those of us who carry elven blood have no shortage of time, do we?"
Titania looked at Sylphy. Just a little — but I thought I saw her eyes tremble.
"But! Could you not show mercy to the other half-elves, if not to me? They have committed no crime."
Her eyes trembled, but she did not look away from him.
"I may bear the sin of tainting royal blood — but the others don't! Titania!"
"...Do you speak in earnest?"
The bewilderment in Titania's voice came through clearly. One hand clutching her head, her trembling eyes — she looked like an entirely different person from the one who had spoken with me.
"That is not what you were meant to say."
"No! This is what I have to say! Please, show mercy to the other half-elves! You know what kind of treatment they receive out there, even as we speak!"
It was a plea. The pure, earnest appeal of someone who loved his own people.
"I had royal blood, so I wasn't weak! I was lucky enough to meet good people!"
The reason Sylphy had asked to follow me was solely for the sake of the other half-elves. He said nothing of the suffering he himself had endured. He spoke only for the others. He was a remarkable young man.
"But the other half-elves are suffering. Some are already dead. Others still bear wounds of the heart, living in hatred. If not their fellow elves, then who will take them in?"
"..."
"So I beg you! Please change the way you think about half-elves! Titania, who is respected by every elf! If you spoke, many elves might change their minds! No — it's because you continue to despise half-elves that even those who think differently don't dare speak up!"
Sylphy bowed his head.
It might already be too late — but change, even now. Elves have time. Start making amends from this moment on. He was speaking with polite, respectful language, but the content of what he was saying was so radical it was hard to believe he was addressing the queen of a nation.
None of them spoke. The silence stretched, taut and awkward, until Titania opened her mouth.
"Withdraw."
"Titania!"
"Withdraw."
She repeated the same word, then closed her eyes as if to say she would speak no more. I took Sylphy by the shoulder.
"Let's go back for now. We have time. ...We'll come again!"
"..."
I led Sylphy out of the audience chamber, muttering under my breath.
"What a goddamn hag..."
"Lady Olivia, please. Elves have excellent hearing."
"It's fine. I said it so she'd hear it this time."
"..."
"Let's go, Lois!"
"Yes."
I left the audience chamber, keeping an eye on Sylphy.
Anyway. What the hell was I supposed to do now? Neither my words nor Sylphy's had gotten through. At this rate, I was actually going to die. Was I really going to have to sneak in like some petty thief, break into the World Tree, and rip the sap out myself?