Ugly Five-Year-Old
"Ah... damn it, this is bad...."
A faint voice slips out amid a sigh. It probably wasn't the truck driver who hit me.
"...."
Yeah. Totally fucked.
I wanted to echo the sentiment exactly, but I couldn't muster the strength. My body wouldn't move, and the blood pouring from me had already soaked every inch of asphalt in my field of vision. I was dying, and death was moments away.
It had been just another ordinary day, and now that day was coming to an end. There wasn't much to regret about dying, but if I had to pick one thing—even as my strength ebbed away—it was the phone still clutched in my hand. The words scattered across its screen.
Ah, that novel. I hadn't even made it halfway through.
A touch of warm sunlight. A gentle breeze rustling through. Walking along with them, there's always a voice that rings out.
"Ain! I told you not to wander off alone!"
"...."
A young woman panting as she grabs the back of my neck.
"Ugh... who the hell did you get this stubborn streak from...!"
Well, that's...
"...."
Yes, as I informed you.
"Again, again! Ignoring your mom when she's talking to you!"
"...."
If I had to say, it's probably thanks to the foul tempers and pointless curiosity inherited from Park Bok-ja and Kim Chun-sik, who are still back on Earth.
I keep these thoughts to myself and let myself be dragged along in her grip. No way a shrunken kid body could overpower an adult woman anyway.
Ugly five-year-old. That was my current state.
Of course, I only looked five. Inside was the mind of an adult who'd seen the world.
But five years old is an age where even knowing you were once an adult doesn't stop the blank-minded impulses of a child.
What does that mean?
...Huh, a butterfly I've never seen before.
"Haaah... son! Please don't go anywhere and just stay by Mommy's side...!"
"...."
No, it's not on purpose.
It's just the unavoidable innocence of a child. One moment you're not particularly curious or fixated, and the next, some random whim sparks up.
Though Park Bok-ja and Kim Chun-sik's genes might've played a part...
Huh, a dragonfly.
"Son, please! Mommy needs a break to catch her breath...!"
Sadly.
Five years had already passed since I got smashed by that truck, died, and woke up reborn.
I'd never believed in the afterlife or reincarnation, but here I was, bawling like a newborn and starting life anew.
Pretty mystical experience.
A baby fresh from the womb could already think coherent thoughts. Tiny fingers twitching, unwanted cries bursting out, incomprehensible language flying between the adults around me.
Taking in all those sights through tiny eyes, yet powerless to act—it was downright bizarre.
And the humiliation of getting your diaper changed whether you liked it or not...
"...."
Very mystical, but I never want to go through it again.
Anyway.
One thing I realized after being reborn: butterflies are pretty.
"Son."
"..., butterfly."
"No."
"...."
And the rat peeking out from the sewer is pretty cute too.
"Ah, son!! No, really, don't! Let's watch the butterfly instead, okay?!"
"Why? It's cute."
"Pleeease... I have no idea who you take after to act like this... "
I flashed a big grin at my sighing mom. Teasing her was pretty fun.
Life after rebirth was full of nothing but fun and joy.
Bonk—
"Don't tease Mommy."
"...."
My smacked head stung a little, though.
What was I like in my previous life?
A perfectly ordinary guy who wanted an ordinary life. Grew up in a family that fell a bit short of ordinary, had a pretty standard school life.
Never had a normal romance, but I got a regular job at a regular company.
No special talents, no big ambitions—just content with that modest, everyday existence. A run-of-the-mill person.
So even after dying and coming back, I didn't have any grand epiphanies.
If there's one regret, maybe dying before finishing that novel I'd been reading right up to the end.
"..., that's a bit of a shame."
"Huh? What're you bummed about, sweetie?"
She must've caught my tiny mutter, because Mom tilted her head and asked.
I couldn't exactly say I wanted to reread a novel from my past life, so I threw out a convenient excuse.
"Rat."
"...."
Apparently not a great excuse for her.
Making that disgusted face at her own son? That's a bit much.
So thinking, I gave her a cheeky smile and sank back into thought.
I wonder how it ends. Did the Hero and Saintess survive, get married, live happily ever after? Or was the final boss too strong, and it ended in world-ending tragedy?
"..., son. Mommy thought about it real hard, and you should be interested in other stuff instead of that!"
Honestly, it probably goes the predictable route, so it doesn't matter much. But that epic setup and worldbuilding—they really should've expanded on it more.
The vast Ephrin Empire. The first republic, Sillon.
"Like fairy tales about the Ephrin Empire we live in... or stories from the Sillon Republic beyond the empire. Mommy loved those...."
Beyond that, the East, the elves' forest, dwarven mines, dragon lairs, the Demon King's realm.
"Wouldn't it be better to read picture books than fuss over rats...? Elves and dwarves! Aren't you curious? Dragon treasures! The elves' World Tree! Huh?!"
The Hero Fris and Saintess Lua roaming that world, striving to save it.
"And this time, the oracle naming the Hero and Saintess is coming—don't you wanna see, son?"
The novel containing it all was always #1 on the real-time charts, a massive hit...
"...?"
"What's up, son?"
Did I hear that wrong?
"...?"
"...?"
Me and Mom stared at each other, heads tilted, until the carriage pulled up to the house.
Yes.
This world, which had granted me the precious gift of rebirth, was the very world from that novel.
Titled Hero of the Three Thousand Generations and the Witch Saintess...
Hmm.
The title's a bit trashy, but the content was incredibly detailed and intricate by contrast—a masterpiece.
I'd been reborn as a character in that novel.
But how did I not realize until I was five that this was the novel's world?
Simple: Ain was a name that never appeared even once in the novel. No kid by that name.
In short, I was an extra among extras. No role assigned. The kind of background crowd that flashes by during scene transitions.
Hmm.
"...."
I loved that. A grin spread across my face.
Who needs to be a key character? I don't want that crap.
The Hero and Saintess will kill the Demon King on their own, get married, bang out three kids, and live happily ever after. Their story's none of my business.
My interest in the novel was always in the vast worldbuilding and settings, the diverse side characters who got brief spotlights.
So now that I knew this was the novel's world, I decided to step away from the main plot and explore it myself.
I swallowed that resolve and spoke up.
"Mom."
"Yeah, sweetie? Want more food?"
It might be sad for my loving-eyed mom, but it had to be said.
"..., I'm gonna go traveling."
The empire, the republic, elves' forest, dwarven mines.
Demon King's realm, dragon lairs—all the way.
I declared I'd set off to explore this vast world.
And at my solemn proclamation, Mom just smiled and nodded.
"Sure sure, eat your carrots and peppers first."
"...."
First things first—deal with the enemy right in front of me.
"That's my boy, eating so well! If you wanna travel, eat lots and grow big quick~ There's more peppers, don't worry!"
"...."
Why?
Why, even though I'm an adult inside, does my kid body make me get treated like a picky eater over peppers and carrots?
And why do they taste so bad that my fork's shaking as I lift it?
No idea.
With those thoughts, I shot a glare at my mischievously smiling mom and shoved a pile of peppers into my mouth.
"Whoa~ My son might actually make it as a traveler! Good job!"
"...."
Knock it off.
You're doing this because I messed with that rat at the market, aren't you?
I wanted to yell it, but I swallowed it down—literally—along with the veggies.
A kid who can't even eat carrots and peppers declaring he'll travel? Pathetic.
So.
This is about adult pride.
Ah. Fucking disgusting, for real.