Chapter 41: Just Because It's Raining
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 41: Just Because It's Raining
"That concludes today's meeting."
The State Council meeting was over.
Herdin rose leisurely from his seat and left the conference room with Ruth. As he stepped into the hallway, the first thing that caught his eye was the window.
The sky was overcast. Judging by the ominous dark clouds, rain seemed imminent.
Noticing his gaze, Ruth spoke up.
"Just when it seemed the weather was warming up, it looks like we're in for some spring rain."
Herdin looked out at the panoramic view of the Imperial Palace. Though obscured by trees, the Empress's Palace was just over there. Blair was likely there at this very moment.
'A messenger came from the House of Lorellain. They said someone from the Imperial Palace visited the county yesterday. And today, Her Majesty the Grand Empress Dowager summoned Madam.'
Before their marriage, he had thought Katrina doted on her daughter.
His impression had been formed by the sight of Blair, always in expensive dresses and costly jewels, smiling brightly amidst a crowd of admirers.
He hadn't known back then that appearances could be so deceiving.
The way Blair had looked during their first dinner with Ivan and Katrina after the wedding, and her behavior at Katrina's birthday banquet, had shown him the truth.
Up close, the reality of their mother-daughter relationship was far from what he had imagined.
Only then did he realize how bizarre Katrina's attitude toward her daughter was—and Blair's toward her mother.
While he couldn't judge everything based on those brief, fragmented moments, it was clear their bond was not that of an ordinary mother and daughter.
Suddenly, he recalled Blair's appearance at the dinner table.
She had spoken softly but firmly, even as her hands trembled violently beneath the table.
"..."
Lost in thought, Herdin stopped mid-stride as he walked down the hallway.
Before he knew it, rain had begun to fall.
* * *
Leaving the Empress's Palace after her conversation with Katrina, Blair encountered an unexpected obstacle.
A sudden spring rain.
Blair stopped in her tracks at the downpour. Spotting her, a maid from the Empress's Palace immediately ran out into the rain to call for a carriage.
She had rushed out after her talk with Katrina and hadn't arranged for her carriage to be waiting. Now, all Blair could do was stand blankly at the entrance.
Seeing her, another maid from the Empress's Palace spoke up hesitantly.
"Your Grace, the air is still chilly. Please wait inside."
"It's fine. It will be here soon. The air is refreshing, so I'll stay here."
Declining the offer, Blair stared absently at the drizzling rain as she waited.
'What difference does it make to dig it up now? Will that dead woman suddenly come back to life?'
Katrina wasn't just refusing to approach the truth of what happened ten years ago; she was terrified of it.
If her version of events was the truth, she would have nothing to fear.
Seeing her mother's reaction, Blair finally faced a possibility she had ignored for the past decade.
Perhaps Mother used me.
The accident that day… and perhaps even my life.
The thought made her mother's face—so undeniably like her own—seem suddenly chilling.
How could she?
How could Mother do that to me?
Of course, it was only a possibility. It might not be the truth, just a groundless suspicion.
Then again, perhaps that doubt was just a rationalization, born from a desperate wish not to be abandoned by her mother.
She had always believed that as long as she had Asiel, it would be enough. That hadn't changed.
Then what was this hollow feeling in her chest?
This sensation of being left entirely alone in the world.
...Asiel.
Blair caressed her flat stomach, recalling the face of the child who used to giggle so brightly at her.
My baby.
With no trace of the child left in the world she had returned to, all she could do was stroke the womb that had once carried him.
But her flat stomach, where she felt nothing but her own skin, only deepened the void inside her.
If only she could meet Asiel again, if she could just hold her child—her only flesh and blood—in her arms once more… She felt this consuming emptiness would vanish, and the emotions of this moment would fade to nothing.
As long as she could look at that child, who lived and breathed and smiled, relying solely on her, she felt she could overcome anything.
That was why his absence was so devastating.
Just as the rainy landscape filled Blair's hollow, violet eyes, a carriage pulled up to the entrance of the Empress's Palace.
It bore the family crest depicting the Wings of the Divine Beast.
It was the crest of the House of Delmark, the same as her own carriage, but this was not the one she had arrived in.
The carriage door opened, and a familiar figure stepped out.
Holding an umbrella, Herdin strode toward Blair. She stared blankly at him as he approached.
She had argued with him.
He doubted her, simply because she was Katrina's daughter.
Even now, he was likely still doubting her—wondering what they had discussed, and whether she had been swayed by her mother.
And he might have been the one who killed her in her past life.
Yet, the moment he appeared, her solitary world finally had a second person in it.
Walking at a pace that was neither hurried nor slow, Herdin stopped in front of Blair.
She looked up at him in disbelief. Beneath the umbrella, his icy blue eyes gazed down at her quietly.
After studying her for a moment, he held out his hand.
"Let us go."
Blair’s gaze flickered between his large, outstretched hand and his face before she placed her own hand in his.
His hand wrapped around hers, gently pulling her under the umbrella. At the same time, the umbrella tilted toward her.
Blair boarded the carriage with his help. Ruth moved to the carriage she had originally arrived in, and soon, their carriage set off.
Silence hung heavy inside.
Blair stole a glance at Herdin. He merely stared out the window at the trickling raindrops, saying nothing.
'I thought for sure he would ask about my conversation with Mother.'
If he had, she could have answered casually. This silence was uncomfortable; she feared he was harboring deeper suspicions than he let on.
Finally, Blair broke the silence.
"Mother… seems to have planted a spy in the mansion. She knew I was receiving counseling from Lady Lorellain."
Only then did Herdin turn his gaze from the window to Blair. There was no surprise on his face. He seemed to have already expected it.
"And..."
Answering a question he hadn't even asked, Blair started to say more but then closed her mouth.
If she told him that Katrina had ordered her to stop trying to recover her memories, it would be tantamount to revealing that her mother might have been involved in Esmeralda's death.
How would he react to that?
He must have already suspected her mother, but a mere hunch turning into a near-certainty was a completely different matter.
Nevertheless, Blair continued.
"...And she told me to stop trying to recover my memories."
No matter what, she was determined to find the truth, and he was her partner in uncovering it.
"Of course, regardless of Mother's wishes, I will definitely—"
"I know."
A calm, low voice cut her off. The gaze meeting hers was free of the suspicion and interrogation she had seen before.
"You do not need to explain any further to me."
Blair looked at him, bewildered.
"Then why..."
The question went unfinished: If you weren't curious about that, why did you come to get me?
Instead of answering, Herdin quietly looked down at Blair's pale face, noticing a tiny raindrop clinging to her hair.
Seeing his hand approach, Blair reflexively closed her eyes.
With his index finger, he brushed away the raindrop near her temple. His gaze, which had been fixed on the droplet, immediately returned to hers, and their eyes met.
Only then did Herdin reply, his voice dry.
"Just because it's raining."
* * *
"You summoned me, Your Grace?"
That night, Herdin summoned Caligo to his office.
"Caligo, track the Grand Empress Dowager's movements for the time being."
He thought back to the day of the accident.
On that day, Blair had secretly visited the Empress's Palace without telling Katrina. But Katrina claimed to have learned of the visit from a maid she'd planted in the Princess's Palace—a claim the maid herself had corroborated.
Katrina had used that fact to dismiss any suspicion directed at her.
Her argument was simple: if she had truly intended to kill Esmeralda, why would she have chosen the very day she knew her own daughter was inside the Empress's Palace?
Indeed, she had even rushed to the temple that night to save the severely injured Blair.
Until now, Herdin had never doubted that Katrina was the culprit. He had believed the maid's testimony was a lie and that Blair was merely pretending to have lost her memory to conveniently cover up her mother's crime.
However, there was one more possibility everyone had overlooked, blinded by the sacred bond between parent and child.
The possibility that the woman had used even her own daughter's life.
It was likely the same for Blair.
She probably couldn't bring herself to think that her own mother would use her life.
No, she simply didn't want to think about it.
Because if that was the truth, she wouldn't have the strength to accept it.
Realizing this, he now hesitated to push her to recover her memories.
Even so, he had no intention of stopping.
Whatever the truth was, he had to know. Why his aunt had to die. Why Delmark had to bear such dishonor.
Even if Blair was hurt in the process, it was a truth that had to be faced.
Either way, I cannot rely solely on her memories.
Having reached that conclusion, Herdin continued speaking to Caligo.
"I've rattled her thoroughly. If she is the culprit, she'll be anxious, double-checking everything to see if she missed a loose end."
"..."
"Keep a close eye on all the witnesses involved back then. Report to me the moment you find anything suspicious."
Upon receiving Herdin's command, Caligo's eyes gleamed with an uncharacteristic sharpness.
He bowed his head, his expression solemn.
"I obey your command."