Chapter 1: The Second First Night
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 1: The Second First Night
In the dead of night, Blair stood before the door.
Today had been her wedding day. This was the room where she was to spend her first night with her husband.
After a long moment, she draped a shawl over the thin nightgown that clung to her curves and knocked.
“…”
It seemed her husband had not yet come to the bedchamber.
Blair let out a small sigh of relief, entered the room, and sat on the sofa.
And so, she waited.
Ten minutes passed.
Then thirty, and another thirty.
An hour went by, and still, her husband did not come. This was different from the past.
Is he not coming?
Staring at the firmly shut door, Blair was suddenly reminded of the promise upon which this marriage was founded.
Right. This isn't a real marriage, but a one-year contract.
A marriage of convenience, arranged strictly for their mutual benefit. There was no need to fulfill the duties of a first night like a real couple.
It’s better this way.
If she were to face that handsome face, to feel his skin against hers and share his warmth again, she might fall for the illusion that he loved her.
Just as she had in the past.
One night with him is enough—the night Asiel was conceived.
Today was not that day, so it didn't matter.
Concluding that her husband would not be visiting her room tonight, Blair retrieved a quill and parchment from a drawer. Then, she calmly began to write out the contract that would serve as proof of their arrangement.
She had just finished the final sentence.
Suddenly, a warmth bloomed at her back. A man’s large hand slammed down on the desk beside her.
Startled, Blair turned to see a man who had approached without a sound.
He was a head taller than most men, his powerful, masculine frame visible even through his robe. Beneath softly tousled black hair were cool eyes the color of a summer night sky.
He was a man so beautiful it would make anyone, man or woman, momentarily hold their breath.
Herdin Delmark.
As of today, he was her husband.
As if reading her startled expression, he asked, “Why the surprised look? It’s our first night. It’s only natural for a husband and wife to spend it together.”
“…I didn’t think you would come.”
“And yet you waited up for me?”
His words hit their mark. Blair pressed her lips together.
“I was just waiting, in case. It would have been impolite for me to be asleep if… you arrived.”
At the word “you” that slipped from her lips, Herdin’s gaze deepened.
“I take it you were prepared to spend the night with me, then.”
Blair flinched as he caressed her cheek, his low voice resonating in her ear. But what surprised her more were his words.
Why on earth?
In her past life, Herdin had only accepted the unwanted marriage proposed by her brother to dig for the truth. Their first night, his tenderness—it had all been an act to ensnare her.
To avoid being swayed by his act this time, she had made him a proposal before the wedding.
‘If Your Grace accepts my proposal, I will cooperate fully in uncovering the truth of that day.’
She had told him she would give him what he wanted without any deception. She had thought he would no longer need to put on an act to seduce her. So why was this happening?
Once you found out the truth, you’d have no more use for me, right?
Just like in the past.
But his reaction was the complete opposite of what she had expected. For Blair, who had assumed he wouldn’t even come to the bedchamber, the situation was bewildering.
“We don’t have to go through with the first night—”
“I want to.”
His low whisper was accompanied by a gaze fixed on her red lips. The hand cupping her cheek stroked her mouth with his thumb. Her heart began to pound, fast and hard, at the heat radiating from his fingertips.
At that moment, Herdin lifted his gaze from her lips, and their eyes met.
“Right now.”
A raw, intense desire flickered in his blue eyes.
Before Blair, startled by that unfiltered lust, could pull away, his lips descended and swallowed hers.
Blair was suddenly reminded that he, too, was a man.
They say men can sleep with women they don’t care for.
Yes, this wasn’t love. Nor was it an act of love for some other purpose. It was merely a fleeting moment of desire.
The thought brought her a strange sense of peace. Blair reined in her chaotic emotions and closed her eyes in resignation.
In the past, she had trembled with fear during their first, unfamiliar act of intimacy. His large frame had felt like a beast about to devour her, a prison meant to confine her. And yet, she had loved the way his eyes focused only on her, loved the warmth of his firm embrace. Believing it to be love, she had fallen for him in an instant.
But I won’t be fooled by that warmth anymore.
The only reason she would spend the night with him was to meet her child.
Asiel, my baby.
If only she could meet the child she had loved more than her own life again. For that, she could spend any number of nights with the husband who might have killed her before she returned to the past.
* * *
Today was the day Herdin was returning to the townhouse for the first time in nearly a year. It was his first time back since Asiel was born.
For the rare occasion, Blair personally chose her dress and accessories. After getting ready, she entered the room connected to her bedchamber where a small cradle sat.
The baby in the cradle was playing alone, not having fussed even once, clumsily waving his tiny, fern-like hands toward the mobile above.
A soft smile instinctively graced Blair’s lips as she lifted the child into her arms.
“My sweet baby, you woke up and were playing so well without even crying?”
“Ooh-woong. E-eu! Booboo!”
Nestled in his mother’s arms, the baby beamed and let out a stream of incomprehensible babbles. He seemed to be in a good mood, as if he knew it was the day he would finally meet his father.
But as Blair held the baby and gazed out the window, a bitter shadow fell over her eyes.
Not long after Blair became pregnant, Herdin had left for the main castle of the Delmark Duchy in the North. Ostensibly, his reason was to subjugate the magical beasts that ran rampant every summer, but Blair knew the truth: he was fleeing a wife from a marriage he never wanted.
Even so, as she caressed her growing belly day by day, she prayed that Herdin would not be harmed. Her husband was the continent’s only magic swordsman, a war hero renowned for his strength and blessed with the power of a Divine Beast, but she couldn’t help but worry.
On sleepless nights, on days he appeared in her dreams, Blair sent letters. She wrote that the baby was growing healthily. That she hoped he, too, would return safely, without injury.
But a reply never came.
She told herself that no news was good news. He was the lord of the vast North; it was only natural for him to be busy.
She had to think that way.
Time passed. The summer and autumn when the magical beasts raged came and went, and winter was fast approaching. Still, Herdin did not return to the capital.
Meanwhile, the baby in her womb grew and grew, and soon she could feel him move. Around that time, Blair began to spend her nights awake, crying. It felt as if the child, asserting its presence with increasingly strong movements, was looking for its father.
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, my baby…
She pitied the child who was not loved by its father. It felt as if it were all her fault, and her heart was being torn apart.
Then one day in winter, half a year after he had left, Herdin came to the capital. He was only there for a brief matter at the Imperial Palace and had made it clear he would return directly to the main castle without stopping by the townhouse.
Upon hearing the news, Blair, heavy with a full-term pregnancy that made even going out difficult, went to see him unannounced.
It was their first meeting in six months.
But his blue eyes, as they looked upon the wife he hadn’t seen in half a year, were as cold as a frozen winter lake.
‘Why are you here? Especially in your condition.’
Faced with his silent coldness, the words “I missed you” died on her lips. Before him, she always felt like a sinner. Forgetting all her resentment and sorrow, her heart, which still beat for him, felt pathetic.
Blair gathered her emotions and, with a deliberately composed expression, spoke.
‘Herdin. Could you spare me an hour… no, just thirty minutes…?’
Her voice, which had started out steady, trembled by the end of her sentence.
Herdin, who had been staring at her, reluctantly nodded.
They rode in a carriage together. The time it took to get from the Imperial Palace to the Delmark ducal mansion was all she was given. In the silence, filled only by the sounds of the carriage, Blair fidgeted with her fingers. She was sure she had so much to say, but now that she was facing him, her mind went blank.
Just then, the baby in her womb began to move. It was a strong kick, as if to announce its presence to its father.
Blair grimaced and stroked her belly.
‘I think the baby takes after his father. He’s so healthy. The kicks are so strong, it’s hard to sleep at night.’
‘Is that so.’
‘Would you like to… feel it?’
‘…No, thank you.’
At his blunt response, as if he were talking about someone else's child, Blair fell silent. She had hoped he would understand her pain, even just a little. Perhaps she had wanted to be childishly dependent on him, just this once.
As her due date approached, her fear of childbirth grew. Hearing that other noblewomen had their mothers by their side, she had cautiously asked her own. The usual Blair, knowing her mother’s temperament, would never have made such a request, but her fear was so great she couldn't help it.
But her mother, as expected, refused. A reply came back saying, ‘It’s something every woman goes through. What’s there to be so scared of? What could I do even if I went?’ It arrived along with a midwife from the Imperial Palace.
So she had wanted to ask her husband. To be by her side when the baby was born, if only for a few days. But faced with his indifference, Blair couldn't say a word. The baby’s diligent squirming stilled. She felt a sudden urge to cry.
That would be so pathetic.
Blair swallowed the emotions welling up in her throat and looked out the window.
Before long, the carriage arrived at the mansion.
Herdin, with an impassive face, glanced at Blair’s belly for a moment, then offered a farewell one would give to a complete stranger.
‘I wish you a safe delivery.’
The butler opened the carriage door.
It was truly time to part, but Blair hesitated. There were so many things she wanted to say, but they were all things she couldn't.
Staring at him, her lips parted but no words came out. Finally, Blair managed to think of one thing she could ask of him.
‘…A name. Please give this child a name.’
As if he couldn't bring himself to refuse even that, he seemed to ponder for a moment before offering two names.
‘If it’s a girl, Diana. If it’s a boy, Asiel.’
He added that if Blair had another name she preferred, she could use that one. But Blair named her newborn son Asiel.
It was the first thing the father had given, thinking of his son.
But even after Asiel was born, Herdin did not come to the townhouse. And now, another half a year later, he was finally returning.
“Madam, His Grace will be arriving soon!” the maid, Lina, announced as she entered the room.
Blair kissed the baby’s chubby cheek and whispered, “Asiel, Papa is here.”
“A-boo?”
Blair descended to the first floor, holding Asiel. All the servants were lined up, waiting for the master who was returning after so long. Soon, the sound of distant horse hooves grew louder, and a carriage came into view.
Though she knew it was a foolish hope, Blair’s heart swelled at the thought of their reunion. She knew he resented her. She, too, remembered the countless nights spent in tears, holding her growing belly alone.
But now, between them, there was Asiel.
No matter how much he hated her, he was the child’s father, and she was the child’s mother. Blair wanted to build a proper family with him, starting now. For the sake of this lovely child. She felt that he, too, upon seeing the boy who was his spitting image, would gladly agree.
Soon, the carriage arrived. The door opened, and Herdin stepped out.
Forgetting all her resentment, Blair approached him, excited to show him Asiel.
“Herd—”
But Herdin didn’t look at Blair and Asiel. He looked back inside the carriage and extended his hand.
The person who took his hand and stepped out was a beautiful woman with dazzling silver hair. She came to stand beside Herdin.
The servants of the ducal house began to murmur. A woman who had arrived in the same carriage as their lord. Though her identity was unknown, one could guess she was precious to Herdin just by the way he treated her.
Blair’s steps faltered to a stop. Her violet eyes, staring at the pair, began to tremble.
Herdin’s cool, wall-like blue eyes and the beautiful woman’s golden eyes landed on Blair at the same time.
“Hello, Madam,” the angelic woman said with a smile, her brilliant golden eyes sparkling like jewels.
Blair stared blankly at the woman her husband had brought home.
The humid, late-summer air, thick with heat, was suffocating. More so than the summer a year ago, when he had left.