The Armpit Shrine Maiden (2)
I let out a whoop. “Whoa! She really is there. The beauty from the bus stop!”
“She’s not even that pretty, Buntaro.”
“Dude. Are you actually gay?”
The girl who had fallen from my bedroom window.
Tsukikumushi Yume.
Behind the abandoned shrine, just like the village chief had said, a girl called the Divine Paintbrush lay sprawled in front of a rose bush. Her eyes were closed.
Did she faint?
It was a miracle she hadn’t been injured at all.
I knelt down to check her pulse—
“Mmmnya.”
Mmmnya? I doubted my own ears.
Now that I looked closely, her face was the picture of peace. She looked exactly like a baby sleeping soundly in a cradle.
“She’s… sleeping?”
Out in the open while it was drizzling? After falling from a building? Was she extraordinary, or just ridiculously carefree?
I clutched my throbbing head. Standing here in nothing but half-dressed clothes, I suddenly felt like the biggest idiot alive.
“Koyoming. Are you sure she fell from the window? Either way, summer colds are no joke. We should at least get her out of the rain.”
Yutaro puffed out his chest and reached for Yume with his thick arms.
“You stay back.”
I stopped the overexcited DQN in his tracks.
“Why not? Koyoming? Can’t you see these beefy arms? I swear I won’t drop her.”
“Your face looks way too perverted. You just want to grope her, don’t you?”
“Th-that’s not true! I’ll have you know I’m a gentleman, Koyoming!”
I ignored Yutaro’s protests and glanced at Aris.
“Aris, you do it.”
“Ehh? Me? I only carry girls when it’s Koyoming Sunbae. Anyone else is a hard pass.”
“Just do what I say.”
Aris pouted, lips pushed out like a duck, but he still scooped up the unconscious Yume, supporting her back. She showed no sign of waking up at all.
I waved the two of them forward.
“Let’s get inside, quick.”
We had already broken two of the village taboos that Hozure Ichimatsu had warned us about.
As we hurried back toward the abandoned shrine, Aris spoke up from the rear in a frightened voice.
“Th-there was a sparrow! It flew away! Was it watching us the whole time?”
“There are no sparrows at night. It was probably a bat.”
“It was definitely a sparrow. And it was made of wood!”
“Stop making a racket. I didn’t sense anything. If it was a supernatural phenomenon, it would have sung some creepy song while the bats swarmed us, Aris.”
“But it really was….”
After a few more twists and turns, we finally laid Tsukikumushi Yume down on the sofa in the reception room. Her white dress was soaked through.
I picked up the Shiba Inu-patterned pajamas Aris had left out.
“Aris. I’m borrowing these ridiculous pajamas.”
“Ridiculous?! They’re cute! And I bought them specifically so Koyoming Sunbae could wear them!”
I answered Aris’s nonsense with a middle finger.
“Everyone out. I’m changing her clothes. You guys don’t need to see a woman naked, right?”
“Aww, but Koyoming’s already half-naked right now.”
“Shut up.”
“No way. What if she suddenly turns into a monster while you’re alone with her and eats you, Sunbae? I’ll stay and protect you.”
“Stop watching those cheap foreign horror VHS tapes, Aris.”
*A video tape format commonly used in the 1990s.
Feeling a little guilty, I kicked both Aris and Yutaro out of the reception room.
Then I peeled off Yume’s sundress and froze in shock.
This girl… isn’t wearing anything underneath…?
Her bare skin was pure white, like a full moon. Not a single scrap of cloth.
Good thing I sent the guys out.
I finally got her changed into the pajamas. Yume mumbled something in her sleep.
“…Mika-chan….”
“It’s not Mika-chan, it’s Koyoming—!?”
I reflexively started to answer before catching myself.
Had she heard my real name—Mikanagi Koyomi—while she was half-asleep?
But Aris and Yutaro only ever called me Koyoming. They had never once used my family name.
“What the hell? Did you hear it from the village chief? Ugh—?”
Suddenly, Tsukikumushi Yume threw her arms around me. Still fast asleep, she whispered another sleep-talking line.
“It’s time to wake up from this endless, spinning nightmare… Mika-chan….”
My eyelids grew heavy. Heavier and heavier….
—Mikanagi Koyomi’s Utsuromura Investigation Log ➇
“What exactly is the Glico Game?”
“It’s a Japanese playground game where the winner of rock-paper-scissors climbs stairs. I’ve always wanted to try it!”
⟨ Childhood Memory ⟩
Wait. Didn’t every Korean kid play rock-paper-scissors to climb stairs back in elementary school?
Hey, the Glico Game is way more structured than that.
Scissors ✌️ = Glico
If you win with scissors, you shout “Glico!” and climb three steps.
Rock 👊 = Chocolate
If you win with rock, you shout “Chocolate!” and climb six steps.
Paper ✋ = Pineapple
If you win with paper, you shout “Pineapple!” and climb six steps.
In Japanese subculture, it’s a classic trope for childhood friends to play Glico on a summer pedestrian bridge or shrine staircase. I had to experience it at least once.
“This looks like the perfect spot for a Glico Game.”
I struck the exact same pose as the famous Glico Man sign in Dotonbori.
The shrine staircase was steep and incredibly tall. Perfect for looking down on the loser of the game.
“The stairs leading to the new shrine…”
Tsurugi’s voice trailed off slightly. She looked uncomfortable.
“Huh? I thought we weren’t supposed to go to the old shrine ruins?”
According to Reia, it was a total mess because of a swarm of termites. I actually kind of like termites, though.
“It belongs to the Akatora family—one of the Three Great Houses. Well, they’re more like paper tigers at this point.”
I’d heard the term “Three Great Houses” several times since arriving in Utsuromura. Must be some big-shot families in this rural backwater.
“More importantly, Natsunashi Yuuki! Are you seriously dragging me into a child’s game?”
Her expression immediately soured.
But I had already figured out exactly how to handle Mitsurugi Tsurugi.
“Even the elite night watchman doesn’t have the confidence to play Glico?”
“W-wait! I can’t let that slide. Of course I have confidence!”
She immediately clenched her fists in protest.
Elite night watchman was basically a synonym for easy mark.
And so the first round of Glico began.
“Rock, paper, scissors—!”
“Rock, paper, scissors—!”
Me: ✌️ Scissors
Tsurugi: ✋ Paper
Tsurugi lost right from the start after trying to take six steps on the first turn.
“Glico!”
I shouted and climbed three steps.
This is it. This is the stuff!
“Don’t get cocky just because you won once, Natsunashi Yuuki!”
“Yeah, yeah. Round two. Rock, paper, scissors—!”
Me: ✋ Paper
Tsurugi: 👊 Rock
Since I opened with scissors last time, she went with rock on the second round? What a simpleton~.
“Pineapple!”
I climbed the steps while copying my brother’s victory pose.
“I’ll win next time for sure!”
Tsurugi was getting way too worked up for someone who had called it a kid’s game.
“Miss Mitsurugi! You gotta win at least once. A total stomp isn’t any fun.”
But round three, four, and five all ended in consecutive losses for Tsurugi.
She still hadn’t climbed a single step. The gap was already massive, so I called down to her.
“Natsunashi Yuuki! Stop teasing me! Why is your luck so ridiculous?”
Sure, I was lucky, but her ridiculously easy-to-read moves were just as big a factor.
As the Glico GOSU, I decided to show some mercy to this HASU.
“Alright. Next round I’ll play rock, so you play paper. Got it? Rock, paper, scissors—!”
Normally guys play rock and girls play paper.
But the result completely defied my expectations.
Me: 👊 Rock
Tsurugi: ✌️ Scissors
I literally told her what I was going to play. Why did she still lose? Legendary brain fart.
“Chocolate. Miss Mitsurugi, I told you I was going to play rock, remember?”
I climbed six steps while scolding her.
“I-I didn’t think you’d actually play rock!”
Tsurugi made excuses while pouting.
“No choice then. I’ll play rock this time too. Rock, paper, scissors—!”
Me: ✌️ Scissors
Tsurugi: ✋ Paper
“……Glico.”
“Why did you play scissors?”
“I overthought it again and assumed you’d play rock this round.”
After several more crossed signals, Tsurugi’s figure had become almost invisible in the distance.
“Rock, paper, scissors—!”
I spread my palm wide. Paper ✋!
From the bottom of the stairs, Tsurugi cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted.
“I can’t see! Natsunashi Yuuki! What did you play? I played scissors ✌️!”
Without saying a word, I slowly closed my spread hand into a fist 👊. Then I delivered the tragic news to Tsurugi below.
“Ahh… I played rock. Sorry about that.”
“I lost again. Ugh, seriously. When am I ever going to win?”
A little while later, even the rock-paper-scissors battle conducted only through shouting came to an end.
“Miss Mitsurugi! Can you hear me? Miss Mitsurugi?”
I shouted at the top of my lungs, but no answer came back.
Could she really not hear me? Or was she sulking because she kept losing?
Guess I should give up on Glico and head back down.
Either way, my long-awaited romantic Glico Game was fizzling out. This wasn’t fun at all. Just as I was feeling dejected—
[S…a…t…o…r…i…]
A strange animal cry echoed through the air.
I didn’t turn around. Instead, I bent over and looked between my legs at the creature behind me.
It was a black monkey.
Or rather, a shadow monkey. It had appeared right behind me at some point.
Was it another local specialty of Utsuromura, like the rabbit or the monster shark?
[Saaato…orii…]
It seemed the monkey’s name was Satori.
SATO LEE? Was this thing a Zainichi Korean or something?
Enough with the lame jokes. This was actually a serious problem.
Monkeys are pretty smart, right? Does that mean… it’s fair game?
It definitely looked smarter than Tsurugi.
I called out to the Satori at the bottom of the stairs.
“Hey, you! Black monkey! How about it? Want to play a round of Glico?!”
A grotesque wall of flesh now blocked the shrine staircase.
Tsurugi glared at the youkai in front of her with clear irritation.
“Ugh, seriously. Why have these youkai been so active during the day lately?”
The youkai was a Nurikabe.
A wall-type youkai that suddenly appears to block passage. If you try to go around it, the wall simply stretches longer.
Until it was defeated, no one could pass this spot.
It was quite a powerful youkai. Even though it was weaker during the day, taking it on alone would be reckless. The proper procedure would be to gather the other night watchmen, but….
What if Natsunashi Yuuki ran into another youkai?
They had been separated by the Nurikabe.
If he got attacked while she was busy rounding up reinforcements?
That couldn’t happen. She had received a secret mission directly from the family head along with a treasured sword. Natsunashi Yuuki could not be allowed to die yet!
Natsunashi Yuuki was just as wicked as his mother.
One day, when I give the order, use that blade to cut him down.
To the night watchmen, the words of the Kiryuuen family head were absolute. Natsunashi Yuuki was surely hiding his true monstrous nature.
But… was he really?
Today, at least, he had seemed genuinely excited to play Glico like a normal person….
Tsurugi was utterly confused, unable to tell what was real and what wasn’t….