A Harmonious Home Makes All Things Prosper
So cute.
Lee Hayang, Serin's mother, let a fatigue-soaked yawn escape — and even so, a small smile crept onto her face as she watched her daughter nodding along to some private resolution of her own. Had she made up her mind about something, all by herself? Watching Serin clench her little fists and go "Yeah! Yeah!" to no one in particular, Hayang would find herself, somewhere along the way, feeling the passage of time.
When had she grown this much? It felt like only yesterday she'd been nestled in her arms, and yet here she was already, talking up a storm and glowing with life — enough to make a mother's chest swell with pride. Those round, twinkling eyes; that soft, snow-white skin; that jet-black hair. She didn't know who the girls took after, but Serin and Sea alike were bound to grow into beautiful women someday.
I hope my children are happy....
That was the wish Hayang had carried in her heart, every single day. That she could be the one to protect her daughters' smiles. That she could go on living for their happiness, forever and always.
Fatigue and want grind away at the soul. And a soul worn thin, she knew, loses the ability to see its object as an object at all — until, in the end, one might even forget the point where one began, and come to resent the very thing one once cherished.
...Which was why she needed to keep repeating it to herself, now and always: that she would be a good parent. Because there was nothing more dreadful than looking at her family — at the child she had brought into this world — with a dry, mechanical gaze.
I won't end up like that person.
Hayang knew all too well just how dreadful that would be.
Of course... it's not as easy as it sounds.
And indeed it wasn't. If you asked her whether things were hard right now, Hayang could answer without a moment's hesitation: they were. The present was still precarious. The road the two of them should have walked leaning on each other, she now had to walk alone — and it felt every bit as daunting as that sounded, all the more so for a woman so young, with hardly any experience of the world.
Her mother-in-law did come by now and then to help with the housework, but in the end, everything fell to Hayang. Earning a living, raising the children — all of it. She had savings, but they were nowhere near enough to see two daughters all the way through, and even now, the weight of her responsibility to them pressed down until she could barely breathe.
...And yet, at the same time, it was those two daughters who taught her what it meant to be alive. Whenever she looked at her angelic girls, that bone-deep weariness seemed to melt clean away. Hayang prayed that the sense of duty she bore for her children would never harden into duty and nothing more.
Let me hold on to this feeling, always.
Pressing down the anxiety that came creeping up on her, Hayang smiled. She had decided to think bright thoughts. Setting aside the crushing weight of responsibility that grew heavier by the day — heavy enough to steal her breath — there were plenty of good things in her life, too.
For one, Hayang was an Awakener: even after the man she loved died and she had been running herself ragged ever since, her body had held up. And recently, through an acquaintance, she had picked up work she could do from home, which bought her something precious — time. ...Of course, she'd had her struggles getting used to computers and all manner of unfamiliar tools. She would be living on less than she'd earned as an active Awakener, yes, but it was safer. And from here on, she would get to spend far more of her days with her daughters.
You've done well up to now.
She had run and run just to somehow keep herself upright, and only now did it feel like something was finally loosening its grip. It was okay to feel that things would be all right. There was real hope that they would get better. Let's try even harder from here on out!
One step. One more step. Keep walking, and things would be fine. With thoughts like these carrying them onward, the car bearing Serin and Hayang rolled to a stop in the apartment parking lot ten minutes later.
Has Serin fallen asleep?
At some point, the little responses from the back seat had gone quiet, so Hayang turned around. And there she was, sure enough — Serin, fast asleep and utterly innocent of the world, breathing soft little cooing snores.
Light came back into Hayang's eyes. No matter how many times she saw it, it never stopped feeling new — strength came welling up from somewhere deep inside. How on earth could anyone be this cute?
I wanna poke-poke Serin's squishy little cheeks, then smooch-smooch-smooch-smooch them all over, then squish-squish them and go walaralaaa...!
Now that would be proper healing. Of course, she had actually tried it once, long ago — Serin had simply been too cute to resist — and after her daughter dissolved into wails, she had never dared again. ...In any case, the mere thought was enough to make a happy smile bloom across Hayang's lips.
Well, I simply must poke those marshmallow cheeks, at the very least...!
In lieu of the real thing, Hayang gave Serin's cheek the gentlest of pokes. Her finger sank straight in, like pressing into a pillowy castella sponge cake. The give of that chubby cheek wrapping snugly around her fingertip was as impossibly tender as raw silk.
Mmm, yes. This is the stuff. Haaah... I can feel the fatigue melting away.
Truly, a child's cheeks were a recovery potion in the flesh.
"Mmmnnh...."
After several rounds of gentle poking, Serin at last began waving her arms this way and that.
A shame....
Hayang withdrew her finger at once.
"Serin, sweetie~ we're here. Time to wake up."
"...Huh? When?"
Her eyes snapped open, and the sight of Serin gathering her wits, still hovering between dream and waking, was almost unbearably cute. Just looking at her made strength come bubbling back up.
"We just pulled in."
"Mm-hmm... I just went and fell asleep."
"You've always been a sleepyhead, Serin."
"Eeeng... I shouldn't have."
"Come on, let's hop out?"
"...Okaaay...."
For some reason she looked a little glum, and it nagged at Hayang's heart, just a bit. Did she have a bad dream? Hayang let it go. Serin had seemed perfectly cheerful right up until she got in the car, after all.
Hnnng... I went and felled asweep....
The truth was that Serin was sulking because she'd meant to diligently support Mom through the rearview mirror and had simply conked out instead — but Hayang had no way of knowing that. If she had, she'd have doted on her all the more. A pity, truly.
"All right, out we come."
Hayang gave the little grump a faint smile, opened her own door and stepped out, then came around and opened Serin's door for her.
"Okay!"
Serin hopped straight down out of the car.
"Hmmmm...."
And then she just stood there, rooted to the spot where she'd landed, not moving an inch.
"...Hm?"
Hayang tilted her head. Is something the matter?
Frozen in place, Serin seemed to be wrestling with something, swaying side to side and scrunching up her adorable face. Or is she working up to say something?
She was so, so cute that Hayang seriously debated reaching for her phone — but Serin looked, in her own way, deadly serious, so through heroic effort Hayang managed to restrain herself.
"Nnnngh...!"
At last, it seemed, she had made up her mind. Serin squeezed her eyes tightly shut and let out a sound — and the corners of Hayang's mouth shot skyward.
Her phone. She wanted to grab her phone. She wanted to so, so badly.
Kyaaa, adorable. My daughter is the cutest in the whole world! I can't stand it!
Imagining, all the while, how Serin would go Ugh, Mom, gross! if she could hear her, Hayang fixed her full attention on her daughter.
"U-Um... Mommy!"
"Yes, yes! Serin?"
"We-ell, you know..."
"Mommy's listening."
"Th-th-th-th... th-thank you for dr... driving meee...!"
"Mm-hmm!"
Ahh!!
Serin had said thank you. Becoming a mom was the best decision she'd ever made...!
I don't usually cry this easily... but the tears are coming, they're coming....
Hayang was profoundly moved. She honestly, honestly felt like she might cry.
"I-I-I love you!"
"...Eh?"
And before Hayang had even a moment to savor the feeling, Serin dropped on her a heart attack — a direct strike, straight through the heart. Her daughter's defense-ignoring special attack bleached Hayang's mind a pure, blinding white.
The joy of "I love you" over a mere "thank you" is a good eleven, twelve times greater! And she'd taken both in a rapid-fire combo.
I... I could die happy.
Ahh! She was so, so happy!
Hayang was struck with Stun.
"Nnnnghhh! I-I don't know anymore!"
Leaving Hayang standing there dazed, Serin — face blazing scarlet — bolted off as fast as her legs would carry her. ...And even as she watched her daughter flee, Hayang was so drunk on joy that all she could do was stand there.
Oh... ah. Serin told me she loves me.
Was this what it meant for your children to grow up? It felt like warmth spreading through her, like water soaking back into a heart that fatigue had been slowly wearing away. The joy was so overwhelming she had no idea how to express it — so Hayang simply bounced lightly on her toes against the ground.
She very nearly lost her grip on her strength and cracked the pavement.
So this is the joy of parenting...!
Fighting! That her girls might keep hearts this bright and pure, forever and always. That she could guard their innocence and their radiance for a long, long time to come. Hayang wished it with everything she had.
"We're back."
"Mommy's home~."
"Mommy!"
The moment we stepped through the door, I saw my big sister poke her head out — then come bounding over at a clatter.
The same black hair and black eyes as mine. She had a bright, vivacious air about her, as though her eyes were brimming with starlight. She was a little taller than me, too. ...At this age, apparently, a two-year gap is simply insurmountable.
"Mom! Why are you beaming like that?"
Big sis came running up, planted herself in front of Mom, and peered up at her.
"Well, there is~ something."
"What is it? What is it?"
Mom looked absolutely delighted, and big sis tilted her head at her.
"Hnnngh...."
...And my face went scarlet.
"Looks like it's a secret~?"
"Tell me! Tell me!"
"Mommy doesn't want to be hated! Heheh."
Mom turned her gaze on me, her face the very picture of happiness.
Embarrassing. This is so embarrassing. My face had flared so hot I fanned at it with my hand, but the heat refused to die down. Ugh, even thinking about it now made me cringe. ...Telling Mom "I love you." For a former man, that word had a difficulty rating far, far too high. I had clearly lost my mind.
I did my level best to ignore Mom's gaze.
"Serin! You're here too? Why's your face all red?"
Big sis, who had been clinging to Mom and squealing with delight, finally turned her eyes on me.
"...Ahem. It was hot outside. Yeah, that's it."
"It's winter, though?"
"K-Kinder...garten was hot."
"Aha, I see. Well, you have to watch out for heatstroke, they say. Serin!"
"Uh-huh... thanks, big sis."
Big sis's eyes as she looked at me were sparkling to an almost oppressive degree. Anyone could see she was bursting, bursting with energy. ...I suppose that's just how it is at her age. Why do children that age have so much energy? Good grief. Exhausting, honestly.
"Anyway, sis, you're home early today?"
I looked up at big sis, fanning away the last of my embarrassment. And then I spoke, carefully, minding my pronunciation as much as I could. Because I had made a resolution in the car. ...From now on, I would watch how I spoke. I needed to be more grown-up...!
Now that I knew how hard Mom worked to raise us, I carried a mission of my own: if no one else would help her, then I would. Big sis was still little, so it couldn't be helped — but I wasn't a child anymore, not really. ...The days of chanting "Sis, sis!" and tearing around playing together, cackling our heads off, were already behind me. From here on out, I was more of a big sister than my big sister — which meant it fell to me, as the elder, to look after my little sibling.
Perfect.
This was a crystal-clear, impeccably rational line of thought. Naturally — my previous age was several times my big sister's. Besides, she was a tiny kid, at an age where she truly knew nothing and couldn't tell right from wrong. I would have loved to present this logical, reasonable conclusion to her and have her nod along on the spot — but alas, big sis was a tiny kid. Which is to say, predictably, that her thinking was anything but rational. She would never accept such a conclusion. And so I would simply have to approach her cleverly, covertly, without her ever noticing. Without getting caught, above all.
To claim the big-brother role, I would probably need to spend a long while slowly instilling in her a sense of hierarchy. ...It would certainly be an uphill battle for now. But someday, once time had passed and I was the one taking care of her, Mom's burdens would lighten. A flawless plan.
I have to protect this family. I have to make Mom happy. Because it's a man's duty to hold the household together. With Dad gone, I'm the head of this family now.
...Honestly, I wanted to deny being a guy with nothing but yuri rattling around in his skull. But I had been a man, after all. In that sense, perhaps my Awakening, too, was the will of God. Wasn't it something like a revelation — make the household happy? There's even a saying that when you make the home happy, most everything else falls into place. A harmonious home makes all things prosper — wasn't that the phrase? I was pretty sure it was something I'd learned in my past life.
"Oh! We had an evacuation drill today, so we got out early."
My thoughts, riding along and branching this way and that, lasted only a moment longer. Big sis had answered my question.
"An evacuation drill? Is an elementary school drill different?"
"Yeah, the scale is totally different! Oh — Serin, do you know what 'scale' means?"
"What does 'scale' meeean?"
I knew perfectly well what it meant, of course. But I widened my eyes and sparkled up at her, playing the expectant little sister for all I was worth.
"What 'scale' means is...!"
"What does it meeean???"
I echoed her words right back, exactly as she'd said them. A giggly little grin spread across big sis's lips. A brief, dramatic pause. Delighted by my reactions, she did her drumroll act, winding up the anticipation.
"It'ssss! Size! You didn't know, didja?"
"Wowaah! Big sis, you're so smart...!!!"
Clap, clap, clap. First things first: applause. If I wanted to get close to big sis, we had to be on good terms first. Only once her guard came down would she gradually start taking in my actions — my thoughts — without any filtering.
"Hehe. Big sis has always been smart."
At my fervent praise, her shoulders puffed up proudly.
"Uh-huh! My big sis is so smart. So smart! My big sis is sooo smaart, what do I doooo?"
Good girl~ Stroke, stroke. Rising on my tiptoes, I stroked big sis's hair. She smiled sheepishly, letting out a soft "Mmmm..." as she was petted.
"Heehee!"
She closed her eyes and beamed, bright and sunny. The way she preened under my hand was, admittedly, a little like petting a puppy.
"......Hm?"
...And then, before long, big sis tilted her head.
Ah. Oops.
Had she sensed something off? I snatched my hand back at once.
"So, so — what was different, then?"
"No, wait, just now something was str—"
"Big sis. Hm? What was different? Serin's curious."
And I immediately fired off a question to smother the suspicion in its cradle. As guileless as I could manage. If a single button came misaligned here, my grand design for the future would come undone. Fortunately, big sis — who had been tilting her head with an imaginary "?" bobbing over it at regular intervals — perked up again and started talking.
"Uh... so. They really lit fires and everything, and... guys in costume came out going RAAWR, and. Yeah!"
"Wow! Really? That's so cool!"
"Right? Right?"
"Uh-huh!"
...Next time, I would have to be more careful in my approach. Closing the distance was harder than I'd thought.