I Liked It Even Though I Have a Girlfriend
Junho was walking home from school when he received a message from Byeolsatang. It had been a long time since he last heard from her. The girl he had met through an online game, the one he once dated in the virtual world without ever seeing her face. Then she had vanished like smoke, and he had lost weight because of it.
Back then, the Junho he was then had already changed. The same classmate from the class had once looked at his face and, because of that single glance, his entire day felt bright and warm. But that Junho had not yet decided to lose weight. He still ate normally at dinner, took the bus to school, and only did light push-ups at home sometimes. He had no grand plan, just a quiet determination that he would become someone people would look at twice.
The first night he skipped a little extra at dinner. The next day, he stepped off the bus two stops before his regular stop. The day after that, he did push-ups until his arms burned and then lay on the floor exhausted. He thought he was going to die. But the next day he did it again. No big announcement. He simply ate two bowls of ramyeon instead of four, ate less late-night snacks, walked an extra block every time he passed a convenience store, and occasionally did a few push-ups. For the first two months the numbers on the scale dropped slowly. Then his clothes started hanging loose. His belt buckle slipped through the hole. His friends at school noticed first.
“Hey, have you lost weight?”
“A little.”
His friend stared at his face and shook his head. “You really did it.”
“Die?”
That was as far as Junho got with the guys. But a few days later something different happened.
After class, while he was organizing his books, someone called his name.
“Junho-ya.”
He looked up. It was Min-ah. Even though they had never been close in class, she had always been kind. She would lend him notes, ask him questions when she had no materials, and that was it. She still wore two black hair ties on her wrist. During lectures she tied her hair up, then let it loose during breaks.
That day she was tying her hair when she noticed him.
“You’ve been working out lately?”
“Yeah.”
“As I thought.”
“Why?”
“You’ve lost a lot of weight.”
His friend had said the same thing. But the next words were different.
“Your face looks different too.”
“My face?”
“Yeah.”
“How?”
She stared straight at his face. His neck suddenly felt itchy. Then she scrunched her nose and smiled.
“Better than before.”
“What?”
“It’s a compliment.”
“You said it wasn’t good before.”
“Did I sound like that?”
“Yeah.”
“Then there’s nothing I can do.”
She smiled and walked back to her seat. Junho felt the need to straighten his textbooks even though they were already perfect. That night when he got home he stared at the mirror for a long time. His cheeks had slimmed. His jawline was clearer than ever. It really was different from before.
On the weekend he went to the hair salon for the first time and showed the stylist a photo.
Monday morning he woke up ten minutes earlier than usual, touched his hair, and could not sleep. He tried again. The new hairstyle looked even better. In the end he soaked it in water and roughly styled it before heading to school.
When he entered the classroom his friend laughed.
“You cut it too?”
“Just trimmed it.”
“Did you start dating?”
“Crazy bastard.”
He put his bag down when laughter sounded from behind. It was Min-ah. She glanced at his hair and said.
“Looks fine.”
Then she walked past.
It was nothing special. But that day Junho touched his hair less than usual, worried it might ruin the look.
A few days later his friend said something strange.
“She asked me about you.”
“What?”
“Does your girlfriend like you?”
Junho stopped walking.
“My girlfriend?”
“Then who else would it be?”
“Why did she ask you?”
“How would I know?”
His friend laughed. “Was she ever like that with you?”
Junho did not answer. But after that he kept seeing her everywhere. She would walk over to his desk and talk, or exchange glances in the hallway and smile. She even started asking him little things.
Even when he came back into the classroom after class she looked at him and smiled first. He smiled back. Could it be that she really liked him?
School ended. As he descended the stairs with his bag, her voice came from behind.
“Junho-ya.”
When he turned she was already jumping down from the higher level.
“You going this way too?”
“Yeah.”
“Me too.”
She paused for a second, then added.
“Let’s walk together.”
The two of them left school. The route they took every day for dozens of times suddenly felt strange because of her walking beside him. She acted completely at ease.
“You keep working out?”
“Yeah.”
“Doesn’t it get tiring?”
“At first it did.”
“I quit after three days.”
“I was the same at first.”
“But why are you doing it now?”
He did not want to mention Byeolsatang’s story.
“I just wanted to lose a little weight.”
“Good.”
She brushed her hair behind her ear. The black hair tie on her wrist was visible. At the traffic light the crowd pressed close and their shoulders nearly touched. He stared straight ahead. In the past he would have walked right past without a thought. But now every step felt awkward.
The bus stop came faster than usual.
“I get on here.”
“Yeah.”
He stood there awkwardly for a moment. Just as he turned to leave, she held out her hand.
“Let me see your phone.”
“Why?”
“Just let me.”
He handed it over. She input her number and tapped the call button before ending the call.
“Then text me.”
“Me?”
She looked at him.
“You don’t have my number.”
“Oh.”
She scrunched her nose and smiled.
“You’re really frustrating.”
Just then the bus arrived. Before getting on she glanced back.
“Today was fun.”
“Yeah.”
“See you tomorrow.”
The bus left. On the phone screen the newly saved number still glowed. On the way home he kept starting to type a message, then deleted it again. He had no idea what to say. In the end he sent nothing and lay on his bed.
Then his phone rang.
[Are you home?]
He sat up immediately. He waited a few seconds before replying.
[Yeah, just now]
[Today was fun lol]
[Me too]
He thought that was it. But a moment later another vibration came.
[What are you doing Saturday?]
[Why]
[Just thinking]
Then,
[Wanna watch a movie?]
His friends had mentioned watching together. He wondered who with.
[Who?]
Her reply came instantly.
[Just you and me]
Then another one.
[The two of us]
On Saturday he arrived at the theater twenty minutes early. Of course he did not say that. He just wrote,
[I’m here]
Five minutes later she replied.
[I’m coming too]
She crossed the street and walked toward him. The girl he saw every day at school. But without the uniform she looked different. Her hair was down and she had clearly put in effort with her clothes.
When she spotted him she waved.
“I waited long, right?”
“No.”
“Just arrived?”
“Yeah.”
Lie. She looked at his face and laughed.
“You don’t seem like you just arrived.”
“No?”
“Yeah.”
She did not ask more. Inside the theater she chose the movie. He did not care. Honestly, the seat next to him worried him more than the film.
Darkness fell. The ads started. She slid the popcorn bucket toward him.
“Eat.”
“Yeah.”
He reached in. At the same time she did too. Their fingers brushed. His shoulder tensed. A piece of popcorn fell back into the bucket. Both pulled their hands away at the same time. She gave a small laugh.
He put popcorn in his mouth and stared at the screen. He could not taste anything.
When the movie ended she asked,
“Was it fun?”
“Yeah.”
“What was the protagonist’s name?”
She closed her mouth and laughed.
“You didn’t watch it, right?”
“I did.”
“What did you watch?”
He stayed silent.
She laughed louder.
“Let’s go eat tteokbokki.”
They ate dinner and walked while holding ice-cream cones. They talked about the movie, school, and their friends. It was normal. But the simple fact that they were walking outside made everything different. Their hands brushed a few times. Once. Twice. By the third time neither avoided it.
Then her fingers brushed his pinky. Whether by chance or not he could not tell.
They walked a little more. Their fingers stayed touching.
Finally he moved his hand. He placed his palm against hers. She looked at him for a second. He looked at her. No words. Just holding hands. He had never held a girl’s hand before. It was smaller than he thought and warmer.
Soon his palm grew sweaty. She noticed.
“Your hand is sweating.”
“Sorry.”
He tried to pull away. But she held on.
“I didn’t say to let go.”
He held it again. This time tighter.
At the bus stop she stopped.
“Junho-ya.”
“Yeah.”
“What did we do today?”
“What?”
“Watched a movie.”
“Yeah.”
“Ate.”
“Yeah.”
She shook the hand she was holding.
“And this too.”
He looked at the hand.
“Is this a date?”
For a moment he could not answer. She stared at him.
“Isn’t it?”
“It is.”
“Then are we dating?”
He remembered the same question in the game. There had been a keyboard then. Now there was only her in front of him, holding his hand. He looked at her.
“Do you want to date me?”
She smiled.
“Yeah.”
It was that simple. The moment he got his first real girlfriend the bus still did not come. They kept holding hands. The feeling before dating felt even more awkward.
She looked at his face and said,
“Earlier when we watched the movie.”
“Yeah.”
“Why were you staring at me?”
For a second his mouth went dry.
“I wasn’t staring.”
“You were.”
“It’s your imagination.”
“No it’s not.”
She stepped closer. Their faces were nearly touching. He did not know where to look. At her eyes, then away, then back.
“You’re really frustrating.”
“What is?”
She hesitated, then moved closer.
Their lips touched. For just a second. A very short second. He could not move. She pulled away first. Her cheeks were a little red.
“Shouldn’t I have done that first?”
He stood frozen. Just then the bus arrived. She let go of his hand and walked a few steps, then looked back.
“My boyfriend.”
“What?”
“Next time you do it.”
The bus door closed. He stood there for a long time without moving.
After that they kept meeting. After school they walked home together. On weekends they met outside. One by one the things that were once new became familiar. Holding hands. Going on dates. Kissing. His feelings advanced faster than he expected.
The season changed. The year changed. They both became adults. Graduation was only a week away.
A message came from her.
[What are you doing when we graduate?]
[I don’t know yet]
For a while there was no reply. Then a photo arrived. It was a screenshot of a reservation screen. A small pension near the city. Two people. One room. One bed.
[Shall we go here?]
He stared at the screen for a long time. Then asked.
[Who?]
Her reply came instantly.
[Just you and me]
Then the familiar two characters.
[The two of us]