You Guys Entertain Me

"I don't feel like doing anything today."

"Because I missed all of you."

"I just said I don't feel like doing anything?"

"That is a massive prejudice. 'If you turned the stream on, you have to do something.' Whoever made that rule up deserves thirty paddle smacks to the ass from me."

"You guys entertain me. I'm just going to sit here and watch the chat today."

"I know. There's no one in this world who could ever replace a streamer named Asel."

"Go on. Name them."

"Cra?"

"Did you just want an excuse to swear at me? I'm a generous person, so I'll let it slide. Once."

"I don't want to make money that badly. What I bring in now is more than enough to order fried chicken every other day. I can buy whatever games I want, too."

"If you understand, then behave."

"Alright, you guys tell me some stories."

"I already told you I'm just watching the chat today?"

"Oh, hurry up and tell it. But if it isn't funny, you're banned."

"That's pretty hardcore."

"Not even a little bit funny, though."

"Alright, forget the stories. Let's just stream. This isn't fun at all."

"Today's game is...."

"Not a new game. It's a game that's already been in the world for a while, but it's my first time playing it on stream."

"It's Bato. Waaah. Everyone's played it at least once, right?"

"Bato is a game that left a mark on gaming history. With its brutal competition and the fact that you get to eat chicken when you win, it was wildly popular for a while."

"Bato is the iconic title that turned the current 'battle royale' genre into a worldwide mainstream. Think of it as a survival game where up to a hundred people drop onto an isolated island and fight to be the last one standing."

"First, the game starts with you jumping from a transport plane toward wherever you want to land. The second you hit the ground, you have to rush into buildings and loot weapons, armor like vests and helmets, medical supplies, all of that as fast as you can."

"As time passes, the safe zone shrinks, and if you step outside it your health keeps ticking down, so the players have no choice but to run into each other. That's the structure, if that helps."

"Just one last thing. This is a game where you kill enemies to eat chicken, so the moment you spot someone, you should kill them. Sure, there's a camping strategy too, but if I used that the stream would be unbearably boring, right? So I'll be running around actively murdering people. I do feel a little bad for them, but... it's a game, so they'll understand."

"No."

"My mom and dad said I was extremely easy to raise, so dream on."

"It's so sad that nobody believes me. When exactly did I become the girl who cried wolf?"

"I know that. You think I said it by accident? Obviously I said girl who cried wolf because I'm a girl now."

"Oh no. I've been found out."

With this kind of thing, if you just charged straight through it, nobody actually suspected a thing. Not that there was any real need to say it out loud. If a perfectly ordinary Korean adult man suddenly announced he'd turned into a pretty girl, the only response he'd get is someone asking if he needed a psychiatrist.

"I am a completely normal girl, though. Why are you getting angry?"

"Please don't scream. It's bad for your throat, and it kills a few brain cells too. You want to live a long life, don't you?"

"Sorry? What did I do?"

"Excuse me. I'm the owner of this room, and you're all going to keep slandering me? If you keep this up, I'll just stream with the cam off. Is that what you want?"

"That's it. I can still see people joking around, so I really am going to have to teach you a lesson. I wasn't going to go this far because of mutually assured destruction, but you brought this on yourselves."

I turned off the cam to punish my insolent viewers. Screams erupted, of course.

"Heh. That's a little funny. You people who can't function at all without the cam on are the same ones who spent all that time dunking on me?"

"Saying you're sorry doesn't land at all. You say you're reflecting all the time. So this time, I think your apology needs to go in a slightly different direction."

"No. Did you all really think I was one of those common streamers who just loves her viewers' money?"

"I can't believe this. The misunderstanding has gotten completely out of hand. I should reflect. I'll flick myself on the forehead once, for sitting back and doing nothing until things got this bad."

Tok.

It stung a little, but it was fine.

"No. Anyway, I've reflected, so now it's your turn."

"That 'don't tell me' is exactly it."

"Well. I'll let about three people serve as the example. Kicking everyone would take way too long."

Hmm. These days, the stream was doing a little too well.

As expected, looks ruled the world. And right now, I was more than fine with that. After all, my face was a gift from the heavens.

"It just occurred to me, but I think I might be too beautiful."

"With looks like these, don't you think a god carved me by hand, one feature at a time? There's no other explanation for a face like this. What do you all think?"

"Ah. Time's up, everyone. I was originally going to play Bato, but you all kept talking to me so I never got around to it. We'll just do it tomorrow. I'm heading out. Sleep well, all of you. Good night."