Why Did It Have to Succeed?
Why the hell did it succeed? Heh heh. Heh heh heh heh…. What is this? What the fuck…. I feel like that scientist who accidentally invented nylon while messing around in the lab. The phenomenon that occurred was completely different from what I intended—just like that. You might think it's bullshit, but that's reality. …It was that kind of story.
I'd only ever tried that as a routine event at each branching point in my life. There was no way it would succeed. I never even thought about succeeding. It was just something I did perfunctorily. My goal wasn't success at all—it was just to persuade this impulsive, horny body of mine that it couldn't go acting like a slut. It was practically a ritual. And yet. And yet, why…?
"Aaaah… Why…?"
There I was, clutching my face with both hands and groaning. Why the fuck did I succeed? The feeling of achieving something I'd never succeeded at once in my entire life—something I hadn't even expected—was utterly bizarre. Not a sense of accomplishment, just pure trouble. I'm the type who peeks at other girls all the time, fantasizing about their pussies in ways no one else would dare think, and maybe that's exactly why this change hit me so hard.
How the hell did I pull it off? There wasn't much different from the last time I failed. I just started at this ordinary high school, surrounded by these gorgeous girls who make me happy just by looking at them, using them as side dishes for my dirty daydreams. Okay, saying that's all might be a slight exaggeration. Sometimes I'd get into some intense skinship or position my body to make it easy for them to touch. The two who'd stubbornly harassed me despite my claims that yuri intrusions by a TS girl were absolutely forbidden ended up becoming friends, and places I'd thought were totally numb got a little sensitive. Just that much change. And last night, Dana sleeping in my bed looked prettier than usual. Sniffing her scent from her bed felt weirdly off. That's all it took for the horny mood to hit, for me to mindlessly touch myself, and eventually curl my toes tight while going, aaah….
"……."
A kind of guilt slithers up my spine. Yeah, it was definitely guilt. The one annoying thing? It's insanely addictive. I can't think of anything else. I end up wanting to feel that way again. It's gonna fuck up my daily life for sure. I stomp my feet, freaking out—what do I do, what do I do?—for a good while.
…And then, after losing my mind like that for ages, sage time hits. Compared to earlier, my cooled-off body and head snap back to rationality in an instant.
What do you mean, what do I do? So what if I succeeded at that once? You gonna say a TS girl feeling a woman's pleasure is impossible? Pfft. Nah, that's too far. Defense mechanism, self-consolation, or what they call a mental victory—it seeps into my entire thought process. The only taboo is getting yuri-tangled with these pretty girls. Way better than letting unfulfilled desires pile up in my body until I slip up someday. Hell, I probably should've jerked it off ages ago. So last night was no big deal….
…That's what I tell myself as I splash water on my face. I don't even remember passing out amid the moaning; I open my eyes and it's already bright, and after all the oh no oh no panicking, it's time to head to school. Ugaaaah, what a mess—my mental game's totally shot as I barely manage to wash up and step out, only to crash right into Dana, who's loitering in front of the bathroom.
Her obsidian-black eyes scan me up and down.
"Ah. D-Dana, sleep well…?"
"……."
The moment our eyes meet, blood rushes to my face. I'm too embarrassed to look at her. My memory's fuzzy, but I think I was pretty loud. What do I do? Did she hear? This is so embarrassing….
"…."
"…."
Wondering if she'd caught last night's fiasco—or for some reason I don't know—we both clamp our mouths shut, desperately gauging each other's reactions.
"Move."
"Huh? Oh?"
"How am I supposed to get in if you're blocking the way?"
"Ah. Sorry."
But it was just my imagination, apparently. Dana doesn't look embarrassed at all. Seeing her same old self, I breathe a sigh of relief. Good, she didn't notice. I pat my chest with a whoosh.
…
…
…
Obviously, succeeding at jerking off once didn't bring any dramatic changes to my daily life. I plop in my usual corner seat, drooling like uh heh heh, Sion, Ruby, Trisha are so pretty, eh heh heh heh, Lily the yuri helmsman leaking saliva—same old routine comes back around.
Just like always. That's how it felt to me. But apparently, how I look to others is kinda off.
"Lily. Something happen…?"
Serina, who's been a bit cautious since the last incident, asks me. She hems and haws for ages before finally blurting that out. Come to think of it, Alicia did the same earlier. Still fresh in my mind how she straight-up scolded me for being lewd right to my face.
"Why?"
"Well, your face…."
"My face?"
"……."
Is my face weird? How? I thought it was odd how the girls in the hall were staring so hard it prickled my skin. I cat-lick my face dry with one hand a few times and stare at her blankly; Serina looks like she has a ton to say but can't bring herself to, just working her mouth. Her face flushes a bit, then she stares dazedly at mine.
"Can I… hold your hand…?"
She usually grabs it without asking, so why now? Serina acts like she's committed some huge sin against me. Probably feels bad about last time when I snapped for some reason I don't remember. Watching her mope is pretty tough on me, so I nod—do whatever.
The second she gets permission, she yanks my hand like she's been waiting, interlocking fingers, rubbing and nuzzling like crazy. Staring down at it, my throat suddenly goes dry. I fiddling with my lips for no reason. No clue why I'm so thirsty all of a sudden. This. This is all because I slacked on my yuri fantasies, right? Oh yeah, Serina—how's it going with Ruby? No progress since the aquarium last time, it seems. If those two hit it off, Ruby doesn't seem the type but she's super jealous-looking, so she wouldn't stand for the girl she reeled in holding hands with someone else like this. I'd naturally step back—not one step, but several—and spectate from afar as the polar bear wrecks a yuri home in real time. Might be a bummer not holding hands with Serina anymore. I hope she doesn't date Ruby. No, not like that. Ruby's already got Citri. I just want Serina in a more normal relationship. Like, um, like… who? Hm. Everyone's a total nympho.
"……Gasp."
No way. What am I even thinking? I'm just hungry, Lily. Me, I'm a mongrel who'll gobble any yuri stew, no matter what—3P, NTR, even kinkier stuff—as long as it's yuri, slurping it down going delicious, more please, a total degenerate. No idea what's wrong with me. Whatever, forget it.
…
…
…
A week later. After that first time, a slight change—or should I say anomaly—crept into my routine. My roommate was the problem. Since that night, Dana's hooked on switching beds or something. She volunteers excuses without me asking, saying she sleeps better or whatever. I don't complain. So we end up alternating beds day by day. Sleep in mine one night, hers the next, back to mine, then hers, soaking in each other's scents like that. We never explicitly agreed, but it's like an unspoken pact. We didn't even discuss it. It's weird how it just happened naturally. She started it, but somehow I crave it more now. Sniffing her pillow like mad while she's asleep has become a habit. My head goes blank in seconds, feeling so damn good….
I let out a quiet sigh. How the hell did things end up like this? This is bad. If Dana suddenly says that's enough one day and stops the bed-switching, I'd probably cling to her skirt begging just one more time. So before that happens, just a little more.
"Dana, you asleep…?"
"…."