Ep.7 - Again, Getting Fucked Like a Dog (2)
Ep.7 - Again, Getting Fucked Like a Dog (2)
Sometimes in life, I'd meet people like that.
People who made me think, 'That person is on a completely different level from me.'
'No matter how hard I try, I'll never reach them.'
I'd meet people who naturally planted those thoughts in my head.
And when I met them, I'd sometimes get swept up in negative feelings without even realizing it myself.
Even if I tried, could I ever become like them?
No — could I even keep up?
Even if I devoted my whole life, I felt I'd never beat them.
Never.
"Eueup, peup... chyuheut... jjeut..."
Even before I was sent here, I'd seen plenty of people who made me feel that way.
People with a talent for studying, people gifted in arts and sports, people who were incredibly funny speakers, people who drew others to them just by their presence...
"Heueup! Paha... haa, ha..."
Out of all of them, the one I envied most was my irreplaceable friend, who'd carelessly show off his solid body after gym class ended.
I couldn't really remember his name. We were definitely close, but now it was hazy.
That bastard always lived in a different world from mine.
When he enjoyed PE in a God-awesome way until he was drenched in sweat, everyone would chase after him. I think he'd say he was heading to the snack bar.
Whenever I was being tugged along by a group of girls, chatting about trivial nonsense, that guy would always take all the boys with him, laughing heartily and causing a ruckus loud enough to shake the world.
[Ugh, the classroom's gonna reek of sweat again. Blegh!]
[Seriously, it's so annoying.]
All the girls around me always badmouthed him,
but I think I was always just staring at him, envying him.
Watching him live a life so completely different from mine, I used to feel like I was stuck in place, just sitting there.
Looking back now, wasn't that a kind of inferiority complex?
Toward that bastard who had what I didn't, I'd always held an inferiority complex.
Always.
That bastard always turned the classroom upside down with noise, but no one truly disliked him. Everyone liked him. Even the girls who bitched and complained didn't hate him.
I was the same.
We were always friends.
We'd hung out together since we were kids, and though the worlds we lived in grew further apart as time passed,
we were still always friends.
I lived envying my friend.
That bastard, who would always come over to talk to me during break only to get chased off by the girls, was my irreplaceable friend.
And he surely never felt an ounce of inferiority toward me,
but I always envied him.
I envied you.
I really did.
I worked out every day because I wanted to become manly like you.
And following you to the gym you went to after the college entrance exam — honestly, it was because I wanted to be like you.
You were always brimming with confidence.
Sometimes you showed a weaker side, and a few times you cried your eyes out after a confession got rejected,
but in the end, you always did everything you wanted to do.
I envied you.
Everyone followed you around,
they looked for you.
There were kids who followed me around,
who looked for me,
but I wanted to be next to you.
You were always Dragon brave and shining,
and you were the bastard who fit the word 'man' better than anyone I knew.
"Heuk... peuheup... cheut, chyu-eup..."
I knew it too.
I still knew it.
That I'd never in my life become like you.
No matter how hard I tried,
no matter how much I exercised,
I could never become a man like you.
Was I just born with low testosterone?
Or did I have too much estrogen?
Would it have been different if I'd shot up drugs?
No. I didn't have the Dragon for that.
We were just different.
From A to Z, everything was different.
By nature, the two of us were meant to walk different paths.
You were someone who would push through everything in a manly way.
If you'd been born a little earlier, I'm sure you'd have been hailed as a hero in a war or something.
But me,
I was always like this.
"Paha, pahap- heueup... chyuhap... cheup..."
Always getting dragged around here and there,
unable to stubbornly work toward a dream or anything like you did.
Boys would walk on eggshells when I was around,
girls would always come up and talk to me even when I wanted to be alone.
I ended up living with such strange treatment that I might as well have been born a girl.
Honestly, maybe it would've been better if I were a girl.
"Lift your hips."
You just spouted stupid shit.
Telling me to make good use of my strengths.
Yeah, I know.
You probably didn't know how much that hurt.
Because normal guys wouldn't get hurt by that kind of talk.
But what you said
was the same as telling me to just accept everything — my girly looks and even my personality.
That's why I cried.
You came and apologized to me later,
but honestly, I wasn't mad at you.
I was mad at myself, because I couldn't even deny what you'd said.
You didn't need to say you were sorry.
"Delin..."
But,
here — I mean,
since the men and women are swapped —
I guess a guy like me is really popular.
Isn't that funny?
"I'm going to put it in."
This person, you see,
was way rougher and more violent than you,
a total thug of a person.
"Heueut... s-slowly... please do it slowly, slowlyy..."
But she was so pretty.
So incredibly pretty, and strangely alluring,
and even so, she was cute. It was weird.
She was crazy about me and threw herself at me, and I didn't hate it.
I felt like I understood why girls were attracted to bad boys. I felt like I understood why they were drawn to manly guys like you.
To be honest,
you know what,
I think I liked that girl who always just read books in the library.
The one who was close with your girlfriend.
Even if I didn't exactly like her, I was definitely God paying attention to her.
But when the two of them talked, they said things like that.
They said they liked manly guys.
So that means you and your girlfriend were a match made in heaven.
You were always singing about how you liked sweet, demure girls,
and your girlfriend liked manly guys.
But, I mean,
could I ever have had a proper love?
Everyone talked as if they were interested in me,
and they laughed while saying it,
but I actually knew, you know?
I was just a toy.
Because I was a cute boy, because I was really unique,
they all took me around to play with, called me,
and groped me.
In the karaoke room, I mean.
The karaoke room I got dragged to so often.
I went to the bathroom for a bit and came back,
and they were all chattering as they picked songs.
But they were talking about me.
So I listened for a moment.
They were all laughing.
They talked about me while laughing.
They said they'd play with me for a while,
and then maybe slightly pull down my pants and touch my dick.
But they said it'd probably be as small as I looked,
so they probably wouldn't feel much.
They said they just wanted to see my crying face.
They called each other perverts and laughed, but I was the only one crying.
I felt like I finally understood what Helen-ssi had said.
That my soul was being damaged.
I didn't know how many Bad Endings I'd already gone through up until now.
I couldn't even remember your face,
and honestly, I didn't think I could really remember my mom and dad's faces either.
Nor what name I used in my original world.
Was I breaking down?
I'd thought I was just too out of it to have the mental energy to think about it,
but seeing how hazy everything was even when I strained to remember like this,
I felt like I was really losing it.
"Heueut... n-noona..."
But this was really strange —
I almost felt like I was happier right now.
Hey, this person did terrible things to me, you know.
I got dragged off and fucked like an animal.
She trampled every last bit of the life I'd lived until now,
shattered my thoughts, my values, my hopes,
and then made me go through all sorts of dogshit things.
"Noona, noonat..."
"Open your mouth. Quick, your mouth..."
But this person truly wanted me.
I mean, she was clinging to a stupid, worthless, fucking idiot bastard like me.
"This son of a bitch... how the fuck can you be this fucking arousing, for fuck's sake tone it down a bit. Please...!"
A celebrity?
An idol?
What, a martial arts fighter?
Special forces?
Even if you combined all of them, I didn't think they'd reach even this noona's toenail.
She was a genius.
A person who shouldn't exist, one who smashed even everything I knew to pieces.
She was on a different level.
From me, and from you,
she was on such a different level that she made every worry I'd ever had feel trivial. Absurdly so.
Even as I was pinned underneath her,
breathing in a scent that felt like sweet coffee with every breath,
even as she roughly lunged at me, smothering me and bouncing her hips,
it felt so good.
It wasn't that the sex felt good.
I... I liked that this person wanted me.
She threw herself at me like she couldn't live without me and hugged me tight,
and yet she was still anxious, desperately trying to make me feel it,
and I liked it when she kept whispering my name in my ear.
"Delin, from now on, we're doing this every single night. You're mine. Even if you wag your tail at other bitches, I can put up with it. Yeah. I can put up with it. But, in the end, you're mine. All you have to do is be by my side in the end."
I liked the way she greedily smeared her saliva all over my body, which was insanely sensitive from being teased all day,
and I liked the way she squeezed me tight as if coaxing me,
and I liked the way she grabbed my hand and forced it to touch her chest,
and I liked the way she pulled the blanket over our heads and gave me a steamy kiss.
"So just Save. Do as I say. The other bitches won't notice. Anyway, if you Save again tomorrow, nobody will know that we used the Save and Load Dragon."
Still, I wanted to keep control over at least this Save.
"So, I plan to run an experiment. We keep repeating Save and Load when those bastards fall asleep, and we see when they wake up again. And we'll test that soul bond thing too."
She'd clearly already been thinking about how to use my ability.
Riko noona, she was smart.
Unlike me.
"I'm not saying it twice, got it? Save now."
Even as she spoke coercively,
she was smothering me with her soft body,
so I couldn't resist.
"I-in exchange for that, please promise me..."
"What promise."
The only thing I could do
was, with these small hands I'd always hated,
tightly hold onto Riko noona's hand.
"Don't bully the other noonas... and never ever talk about this..."
And just hope for a promise from a thief who lived her life through lies and deceit.
"..."
As she looked down at me,
biting her lip as if she was about to get annoyed,
and then swallowing her saliva as if she was turned on.
"Ha, fuck... Fine. I just have to promise, right? I'll promise."
There was no certainty that the promise could be guaranteed,
and instead of stamping a seal, Riko just left a mark on my lips with a long, deep kiss.
But still, I'd avoided a Bad Ending.
Yet, if things went on like this, I felt like another Bad Ending would come up real soon.
Because, in this world,
there were way too many women like Riko noona...
I felt like I'd already come too far.
Really.
Every single one of them...
wanted me like crazy,
and they were all people so incredible it was terrifying.
It was scary to the point of being dumbfounded.
I —
how long could I keep walking this tightrope among people like that?
"Save..."
[Save point set!]