I Love You, I Love You
"So, um, uh… even the first time I saw you, and when we became seatmates… and when you stood up for me… and you keep making all these weird little mistakes… y-you’re pretty clumsy, but still, still…"
She babbled on, her gaze unable to hold steady.
Her flustered body language and tone of voice, her face flushed so red it seemed ready to burst into flames from sheer terror.
Yet the words she mumbled refused to come out properly.
Because no answer came, and her entire mind was fixed solely on Han Sein.
What finally eased the tight, stifling feeling in Jeong Ayeong’s heart was a light laugh.
"Pfft."
"Ah…?"
"What’s that supposed to mean? So?"
A dazed sound slipped from her lips.
His bright smile left her stunned, and the corners of her mouth twitched with a flutter of excitement.
Those weren’t eyes full of disgust.
Those weren’t sharp, dismissive words.
For years, the treatment she had received while being tormented by Kim Hyeongmin simply wasn’t there.
Han Sein’s smile tickled her heart, and his words demanded the emotion that followed.
"Uh… s-so…"
She had clearly said the word already.
Yet trying to say it again made her hesitate.
Stupid me.
Jeong Ayeong berated herself over and over.
I’m not even womanly. I’m introverted and a coward.
But then anxiety rose from the far side of her heart.
To face a man, she thought of another woman.
Kang Hyeona.
Instinct? No—she couldn’t possibly not know.
That girl had feelings for Han Sein too.
And so she gathered her courage once more.
Confessions are something a woman does.
If I can’t even do this… I’m disqualified.
"I like you. N-not as a friend… as a woman, I like the man Han Sein…"
Jeong Ayeong squeezed her eyes shut tight.
Fear blooming inside her courage.
What if he rejects me?
Even a brief silence felt like anxiety, so she opened her mouth again.
Once the water had already spilled, it flowed without resistance.
"I-I’m lacking, but… I-I can do well… s-so… is it okay if I love you…?"
"……."
"Ayeong."
Her heart plummeted.
The anxiety blooming inside her made even a simple voice sound cold.
What do I do? Is it rejection? If it’s rejection…
The eyes she had squeezed shut in fear finally opened.
Only then did Jeong Ayeong part her lips a little.
It wasn’t a misunderstanding.
She faced the reality her five senses were giving her.
"Do you… like me?"
"Yeah. Enough that I want to go out with you."
They weren’t cold eyes.
They were warm—so very warm—that Jeong Ayeong loosened the freeze around her heart and spoke.
The feelings that flowed out naturally.
Han Sein’s lips pressed together, then bore fruit.
"I like you."
"…!"
Jeong Ayeong’s eyes flew wide open, and Han Sein, as if embarrassed, pressed his lips firmly shut again.
For a moment she doubted her ears, but she couldn’t easily open her mouth to ask again—afraid he might dislike it.
An awkward, ticklish silence lingered between them.
Han Sein was the one who broke it first.
"So this means… we’re really dating now?"
"Ah… yeah…"
"Let’s go. We’ll be late."
Han Sein slowly turned his body.
He was even closer to Jeong Ayeong now.
He had to leave past her side anyway, so he walked out brushing past her.
And then—
"Ah…"
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing."
A hand that touched hers gently.
Because of the difference in palm size, the way he clumsily wrapped only three of her fingers looked adorable.
Her heart pounded madly.
Just as Han Sein had said, she took a step forward.
The emotions were far too unstable to simply stand still.
That was simply what excitement was.
"Ah…?"
Where am I?
Only after lying down on the soft bed could Jeong Ayeong finally collect herself.
It felt like a dream.
The excitement she felt gave her a floating sensation.
It was hard to express with a simple word like “ecstatic.”
—Bzzzt.
"Ah..."
The smartphone vibrating.
Jeong Ayeong reflexively looked at the screen.
Truthfully, they didn’t chat all that often.
Was it because she was awkward? Unless there was something necessary, Ayeong almost never started a conversation herself.
Instead, Han Sein would sometimes ask about little things.
Because the moment she opened her mouth a catastrophic hour-plus chat session would break out, she had been holding herself back.
Separate from that, her face twitched.
The Han Sein saved in her KakaoTalk wasn’t just a simple name.
The heart attached after it told her exactly what their relationship was.
"Heheheh…"
Cute.
Ah, he’s too cute. What do I do?
Jeong Ayeong calmed her trembling hands and set the smartphone aside.
Holding onto a boyfriend who said he was going to do housework would look pathetic, so she held back the desire to keep talking.
It wasn’t hard, though.
Because the Han Sein in those short KakaoTalk messages looked far too adorable.
It could have seemed like curt replies, but the exclamation mark stuck next to them was so lovable.
Is this what having a boyfriend is like?
At the soft, trembling emotion that made her body quiver, Jeong Ayeong rolled back and forth across the wide bed.
"Heheh, heheheh…"
A dumb laugh.
Normally she would have berated herself for it.
But right now, even feeling happy wasn’t enough.
"Ah! Aagh! Aaaagh!!"
Had she smiled too much today?
Jeong Ayeong, who hadn’t lost her goofy grin, suddenly scrunched up her face.
A cramp hit her facial muscles, so she rolled around on the bed again.
Happiness, and then pain.
The same rolling around, but a completely different situation.
"Ugh, hehe…"
It hurts.
It hurts, but I’m happy.
After wriggling a few more times, Jeong Ayeong picked up her smartphone out of habit.
And opened the community app.
"Hehe…"
The life of a named user.
Jeong Ayeong wore a sly smile, then stopped the finger that had been about to move.
The ghosts of the community.
It included herself, but she knew these people better than anyone.
The more her feelings for Han Sein grew, the less she wrote on the community.
It had been ordinary love, something she never even dreamed could become real, so she had deleted the posts she once wrote.
Better to be treated as a delusional case.
What if I had verified it?
She could already see the kinds of things they would say about Han Sein.
And so Jeong Ayeong closed the community app.
"...What do I do now?"
So… what now?
Quitting the community browsing that had been most of her life left her with far too much free time.
She got up from her seat and turned on the computer.
Talent that needed no effort.
For Jeong Ayeong, something that was little more than play began.
Clack-clack.
The quiet sound of a keyboard.
But what filled the screen would have astonished people in that industry.
"Oh, with this I could even make a self-driving car, couldn’t I?"
Artificial intelligence AI, or whatever they called it.
Jeong Ayeong’s only shackle.
The moment the community was cut away, technology that could change the world was being born.
A study inside a luxurious mansion.
Amid classic interior décor, a middle-aged woman was turning the pages of a book.
Past fifty and nearing sixty.
Someone some people praised, and others hated—no, loathed.
A woman who claimed to represent the people yet sometimes did things that made the people curse her.
The woman whose profession was politician looked up from her book.
—Knock knock.
"Come in."
"Mother."
"Yes, Hyeongmin."
Her face was cold.
There was none of the kindly smile she wore on television; a dry voice simply contained her son’s name.
Her gaze was still on the book.
Normally, one was supposed to meet another’s eyes when speaking.
But Kim Hyeongmin looked at her with a familiar, careful expression.
She was his mother, yet reading her intentions was truly difficult.
"How’s your playing these days? Managing all right?"
"Yes…"
"And Hyeona? It’s been quite a while since I’ve seen her."
"I’m taking good care of her."
"Good. You’re already used to it, but the more familiar something becomes, the clearer the line must be."
A gentle voice.
It might have felt affectionate, yet Kim Hyeongmin’s expression only grew more tense.
He knew.
Whenever that gentle voice came out, something unpleasant always followed.
"Next year is the presidential election."
"I know."
"One year. Just study for one year."
"Mom!"
His voice rose.
You promised.
I got into Hoerang, and you said you wouldn’t care what I did there.
Kim Hyeongmin’s face crumpled.
For a moment the mask came off, the emotion that raw.
"The atmosphere flowing around isn’t good."
"……."
"A promise is a promise. However… I trust you understand how important the election is."
He wanted to answer that he didn’t.
Like a clueless child.
Kim Hyeongmin wanted to spend his time as cluelessly as he had in childhood.
But the child of a politician could not live at ease.
If you gain something, you lose something.
Of course, the things he had enjoyed until now no longer applied.
It was time to take responsibility for them.
His mother declared it like this:
Stop the games you’re playing now.
Just until the election.
A major event would take place next March.
She hoped he would not leave any blemishes.
Kim Hyeongmin was not unaware of that fact.
Yet the knowledge that he was no longer free even at Hoerang filled him with humiliation.
I have to stay quiet instead of reigning?
Han Sein and Jeong Ayeong flashed through his mind.
I can’t touch them anymore?
Things had been going so smoothly.
His thoughts continued naturally and painted Kang Hyeona.
In that moment, words he could scarcely believe also came from his mother’s voice.
"And… that girl, what was her name? Park…"
"Park Hyorin…?"
"Yes. Don’t play with Kang Hyeona. Play with her instead."
"Why… why…"
"You have to listen. Just help me this once."
A cold, firm voice.
Without even hearing a reason, it made one bow one’s head as a matter of course.
It had been that way since childhood.
Children being affected by adults’ fights.
It was far too childish, yet it had continued from long ago all the way into the modern age.
"One year. Right?"
"Yes. After that I won’t care what you do. No—I’ll make it so that nothing you do will matter."
"Fine."
A sigh.
The subtle breath that slipped out was his only act of rebellion.