I Can Teach You How to Make a Baby
"He's so handsome I don't want to share him with anyone…."
VTuber Yujacha—or rather, her real self, Im Yujeong—couldn't help but chuckle as she stared at the photo Kim Baekhyun had just sent.
The awkward expression and stiff pose made it painfully obvious he wasn't used to taking selfies.
- [Sorry. I crossed the line today, didn't I? I'm not great at judging distance in relationships.]
- [Editor: It's fine.]
- [I used to struggle a lot because of this… I guess I still haven't grown up. People feel scary when you can't see their faces.]
"He didn't send this because of those messages, did he? That would make me feel way too guilty…"
Unlike the affectionate nickname "Baekseolgi" she used for him on stream, the name she had saved for him in CodeCode was far more plain.
"After all, he's just a die-hard fan of Yujacha, the virtual character—not me."
Even after five years of exchanging emails, he was obviously attached to the character she played, not the person behind it.
"At times like this, I really wish I could become Yujacha for real… At first I was just happy to have a fan editing clips of my streams…"
As Im Yujeong lamented, VTubers and their "red medicine" were usually treated as separate entities in the streaming world. Viewers poured their love and cheers into the fictional character being role-played.
Otherwise, no one would have run the fan channel Yujadalcom for years or suggested a virtual marriage after hearing she was graduating.
"He'd probably be disappointed if he knew what I'm really like."
In the dark room lit only by her monitor, Im Yujeong pushed an empty energy drink can aside and let out a long sigh.
"I'm the kind of person who's too scared to even go to the convenience store right outside…"
She still hadn't used the chocolate ice cream gifticon Kim Baekhyun had sent during her drinking stream, and the thought made her feel pathetic.
- [Hello, fellow believers! I'm Yujacha, the succubus saint of the Holy Kingdom of Elision!]
Im Yujeong replayed the debut video Kim Baekhyun had uploaded to Yujadalcom, washing down her gloomy mood with a can of beer. That edited video was one of the reasons she had been able to keep streaming even with zero viewers.
Posting something that highlighted your own inexperience took courage. That was why she loved the early fan videos he had edited the most.
The funny or cute moments she hadn't even realized existed came through so clearly, filled with how much he adored and cherished the VTuber Yujacha.
- [My favorite game is Succubus Saint Won't Fall. The sub-male lead is so cute and has that decadent charm that makes you want to protect him. Hehe.]
It was also the first time Im Yujeong had ever received a fan's love, which made it all the more precious.
"…Ah, I need to go shower again."
Im Yujeong crossed her legs at the unfamiliar sensation that rose while looking at Kim Baekhyun's photo, then muttered to herself and headed to the bathroom to prepare for the stream. No matter how hard or sad things got, streaming let her forget reality for a while.
The internet broadcasting community was ablaze with a single topic.
After a clip from Yujacha's stream was posted under the title The Level of Editors for Small-Time VTubers These Days.txt, posts compiling videos and information about her editor—me—began spreading everywhere.
The Level of Editors for Small-Time VTubers These Days.txt
(Clip of a Diamond player getting a hexakill against three Grandmaster tanks, dealers, and healers.mp4)
You see videos like this all the time when browsing the community. I'm sure you've all seen plenty.
But there's a secret here—the star of this clip isn't actually Diamond.
If you search "Baekseolgi" on the stats site, you'll see his highest season rank was Cosmos. And that was back in the 2015 season, when the cutoff for top ranks was much stricter. He was the real deal.
I asked around through some connections I have, and it turns out he was a trainee for the Blue Dragons. Yeah, exactly who you're thinking of.
He was preparing to debut as a pro on the same team as Lee Changhyuk, the player with the greatest career in GAH history.
But isn't it weird that someone with that kind of potential ended up as an editor for a small-time VTuber instead of going pro?
Even former pro Cha Yete analyzed the clip and said he'd already surpassed the 20-frame reaction limit humans have online.
At 25 years old, not even in his prime, he shows this level of physical skill? People were saying even pros couldn't do that, so it's no surprise most thought it was fake at first.
But with skills like that, why did he quit being a pro trainee? I got curious and dug a little deeper.
Turns out his mother, who had been raising him and his younger sister alone, collapsed from a stroke.
(Frog crying sadly photo)
Even the guy I know said it was a real shame. Red Turbo clearly has the limitation of needing to carry everything alone, but that flaw didn't seem to exist for this Kim Baekhyun guy at all.
They said if he'd just kept practicing steadily and debuted, he might've lifted the World Championship trophy alongside Lee Changhyuk…
(Screenshot from when he ran Yujadalcom)
Suddenly, starting ten years ago, he was running a fan clip channel for the small-time VTuber Yujacha…
(First time turning on a face cam clip.mp4)
(Clip of Yujacha using a different voice after seeing the photo I sent yesterday.mp4)
He turned into an alpha male…
I didn't want him to be this happy!!!
Because the post had so many views, the comments below were something else.
At first the comments were dismissive, treating it like an unverified post.
Once the post gained enough upvotes to reach the BEST board, people started arguing fiercely over whether my gameplay was real or fake.
Because of what I'd shown during the stream with Yujacha, people were also talking about my appearance and my school days before I dropped out of middle school.
Surprisingly, some people were also cheering for Yujacha after her old clips—showing her attitude toward streaming even with zero viewers—were rediscovered.
There were also comments from what looked like players of For Rosemary's Happiness, the game that had its first-ever happy ending yesterday.
And of course, there were anonymous users stirring up drama like this. They seemed to be jealous of her growth.
Of course, EASY Network had other famous VTubers who had reached ten thousand viewers besides Yujacha, but unlike her, they didn't pour their soul into editing. Since that fox VTuber’s RP was about liking married men, I figured she wouldn't interfere with the virtual marriage—in fact, she'd probably help.
Though virtual characters and the people behind them were often very different, so the chances of her actually being like that were low.
"Wait, so what does 'bachike' even mean? Why are you making me do the new-word world cup…!!"
Yeah, exactly like that.
The next day, Yujacha went live right away and was chatting with viewers about yesterday's ending when—
After Yujacha had called me "baby" while looking at my photo yesterday, the viewers seized the chance to tease her and she overreacted to being called old.
Never ones to miss a good opportunity to poke fun at a streamer, the chat immediately started throwing slang and abbreviations she wouldn't know.
Current Viewers: 243
Yujacha's stream was now comfortably holding three-digit viewership. The recent clips must have boosted her average audience.
"What the heck is 'old chub tuber'?! Believers, even if I'm older, making up words to tease me isn't allowed!"
Yujacha secretly sent an SOS through CodeCode, but I didn't think I could easily help her this time.
"Bachike" was short for Basque cheesecake, and "old chub tuber" meant "old and wrinkly VTuber."
In other words, even if I cluelessly explained the words, she'd only end up hurt.
She'd probably be shocked to learn the opposite term was "young firm tuber."
"Yujacha-nim, you said we'd collab again today, so why didn't you contact me?"
"Ah, Baekseolgi! Welcome!"
So I came up with a different plan.
I called Yujacha on CodeCode to draw the viewers' attention toward me.
"I did send it for real. I even said it was okay to make it public… but it seems Yujacha-nim doesn't agree."
"That's not allowed. If you show it to anyone besides me, I'll punish you."
Being called "baby" in chat felt awkward, but since Yujacha was actually five years older than me, it wasn't strange.
"Anyway, since Baekseolgi is here today too, we're going to play a new game!"
"What game?"
"A game where we make babies together!"
What came out of Yujacha's mouth next was the most shocking sentence yet.
"W-what did you say?"
This wasn't in the script. While I was trying to figure out how to react—
"Today's game is War of the Forest. Every player picks a race and either fights or builds bases for defense!"
Seeing Yujacha's eyes glow pink as she wagged her devil tail, I realized this was all just RP.
"So, how do we make babies? Elf? Orc? Or werewolf?"
No wonder a TenTenDo 2 had shown up at the office today—I might have been hooked by her plan from the very beginning.
"I'm not really familiar with TenTenDo games…"
"This noona will teach you slowly and gently. Don't worry too much."
The chat was burning up from Yujacha's suggestive joke. I couldn't back out now.