Is It Okay to Like This Much? (1)
This was already our fourth shoot. I waited for Chae-ryeong in front of the station, contentedly scrolling through the comments on the third video we had uploaded last time.
The rich get richer and the poor get poorer, as they say. Once a channel starts riding the algorithm, it grows at a rapid pace, and that growth lets it ride the algorithm again in a perfect virtuous cycle.
Before we knew it, the first video we posted had shot well past three hundred thousand views, and the second one had crossed a hundred thousand by a wide margin too. Subscribers had passed twenty thousand a while ago, and it looked like we'd break thirty thousand after just a few more uploads. The shorts I edited whenever I was bored had probably done their part as well.
“Um… excuse me?”
I was grinning with a rather proud sense of accomplishment when someone spoke from behind me and I flinched in surprise. When I turned around, a woman who looked to be in her mid-twenties was standing there.
“Yes?”
It couldn’t be a cult recruitment, could it? Or asking for a donation? Or trying to sell me something? People who approached you in front of the station were usually odd, so I eyed her warily. The woman, wearing a slightly nervous expression, asked me,
“Are you… by any chance Taeo?”
“Huh? How do you know my name… Ah. Wait, is it?”
“Yes! That’s right! It really is you?! I figured there was a chance since we’re near Jeongun University! Wow! This is so amazing!”
A female fan who suddenly got excited and grabbed my hand, shaking it vigorously. She must have recognized me from YouTube.
Dopamine shot up my spine and flooded my brain.
…Someone recognized me. How strange. Really.
Being recognized by someone I knew at school didn’t feel quite like this. But a complete stranger spotting me on the street? That was an experience you didn’t get unless you were a celebrity. It made me feel like a proper influencer, and my shoulders squared with unconscious pride.
“I’m really enjoying your videos! You two are so pretty and handsome, and every time I watch I get so excited I feel like I’m going to die… Heuuu.”
“I see. Thank you. Please keep supporting us. I’ll work hard on the uploads.”
“Could I possibly get a photo or an autograph? Or are you busy?”
“Uh… I don’t have any autographs prepared… but I can take a picture with you. Sure.”
Maybe I should start preparing autographs now. With only twenty thousand subscribers, the thought might be presumptuous, but still.
I stood beside the fan and took a selfie, then shook hands with her again.
“Thank you! Have a great day!”
“Yes. Get home safely~!”
I was watching the woman run off excitedly with a satisfied smile when someone tapped my shoulder from the side.
“Who was that? Cult recruiter?”
The familiar voice could only belong to Chae-ryeong. When I turned my head slightly, she was staring after the departing woman with the wary eyes of a fierce cat.
“Or was she hitting on you again?”
There were occasionally women who tried to get my number after saying I was handsome. I usually turned them down every time.
Because I already had someone I liked.
“Sorry but you’re wrong on both counts. She says she’s a fan of our YouTube channel.”
“Huh? For real? So she recognized you? On the street?”
“Yeah. I got a bit excited myself just now. It really feels like I’ve become an actual YouTuber.”
“…You’ve already gotten this famous. Oh no. Guess I should start preparing autographs soon?”
“You haven’t made any yet? Your preparation is lacking.”
“What? You’ve already made some?”
“No. I don’t have any either. That’s why I just took a photo with her.”
When I said that, she looked at me with a dumbfounded expression.
The place we were heading to today was the comic book cafe. We had only done outdoor dates so far, so Chae-ryeong suggested we film an indoor one too. Since it was a spot we often visited together, I didn’t feel any real pressure.
What stood out more was that Chae-ryeong’s outfit was different from usual.
“By the way, are you going somewhere after filming? Drinking with the guys?”
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“Then why did you come out all dressed up like this? Especially today.”
“…Is it? I didn’t think I dressed up that much?”
What do you mean you didn’t? Her hair was curled into voluminous waves with a curling iron, and her point makeup was heavier than usual. The mini knit dress subtly hugged Chae-ryeong’s nice figure. On top of that, she wore beige low wedge heels. The whole look gave off a strongly feminine vibe.
“You hate wearing dresses. Especially short ones. You said the hem rides up and it’s uncomfortable.”
“…Huh? Did I really say that to you?”
“Yeah. You did. And you hate heels too. Because they hurt your feet.”
Given that Chae-ryeong usually preferred pretty but comfortable clothes, she wouldn’t easily choose an outfit this pretty yet inconvenient. Anyone who saw her would think she was going on a date.
Well, she was going on a date, to be fair.
“…Your memory is only good at the most useless times.”
She grumbled something under her breath. I couldn’t quite catch the words, but they didn’t sound complimentary.
“It’s because we’re filming. I wore it as a date look. Yeah.”
“You didn’t dress like this for filming before.”
“That’s because all the previous ones were outdoor dates! That’s why! Why are you nagging so much? I dressed up nicely and all you can do is complain instead of complimenting me?”
“I’m just saying it’s unusual. Different from normal.”
“Whatever. Just turn on the camera. Let’s film the video.”
“Ah, yes.”
Honestly, she looked pretty. No—very pretty.
I thought so to myself and began operating the camera, which had become familiar by now.
…I’m screwed. Completely screwed. Sob.
I had a feeling I’d put too much effort into getting ready when I left the house, but I never thought that clueless guy would actually notice. Yeah, in all the dates until now I hadn’t dressed up like this. It’s not that I went out looking sloppy, but I hadn’t tried this hard to look good. I only put in the usual effort I made when going out.
…But today I couldn’t help caring. What was I supposed to do?
Now that I had realized I liked Taeo, even if this date was supposed to be fake, it no longer felt fake to me. That was why it had become difficult to face him looking the same as before.
In the end, when I woke up this morning, I unconsciously paid ridiculous attention to my clothes, hair, and makeup. Almost like I was heading to a blind date.
…There’s no way he’d notice I like him just from this, right?
No. There’s no way. If he were that quick-witted, he wouldn’t be Yoon Taeo. There’s no chance that dense idiot has such good senses.
I calmed my anxious heart and looked at him fiddling with the camera beside me, asking timidly.
“…Hey, but you know.”
“Hmm? What.”
“Does it look bad that I’m dressed like this? Did I go too feminine?”
It was quite different from my usual style. That was probably the result of my own desires showing through. The desire to be seen as a woman by him. I had to break free of the friend image now that I realized I liked him.
Feeling unnecessarily nervous and worried, I asked him. In case it didn’t look good to Taeo.
He laughed as if my question was ridiculous and answered.
“What? Since when did you care so much about how you look to me?”
“…Just. It might be on my mind today especially.”
When I spoke sulkily, Taeo stared at my outfit for a moment before saying,
“It is pretty. You look good in anything anyway. Your face and body are both perfect.”
He suddenly throws a straight compliment like that so honestly? …W-what. Is he trying to flirt with me right now?
Seeing Taeo say such things with that brazen face left me speechless. If he said that to other girls with a face like that, they’d fall instantly. It was honestly scary.
I felt my face heating up slightly and warned him.
“You. Don’t say things like that casually to other girls. Got it?”
“Why?”
“It’s too cheesy and you’ll get reported. Under some kind of law.”
“I compliment you and you still complain. Why do I even bother? Sigh.”
But. I wish you wouldn’t say that to any girl but me. What am I supposed to do about that?
Having such a thought pop into my head, I let out a hollow laugh at how ridiculous I was. Was I actually crazy? How could I have such girlish thoughts… toward this guy…
And wanting to hide my embarrassment and joy, I simply grabbed his hand.
By then Taeo had finished adjusting the camera while answering me.
“What is this? The hand?”
Taeo asked with a slightly flustered face. I hid the corners of my mouth that kept twitching upward from his compliment and told him,
“What else? It’s a hand.”
“Why are you suddenly holding it? Aren’t we filming?”
“Today we’re doing a two-shot all the way to the comic book cafe. It’d get boring if you only ever filmed me in one-shots.”
When I pushed that hastily made-up excuse at him, Taeo let out a sigh and said,
“Fine, do as you please. Do whatever you want.”
And the hand holding mine back was so warm that I couldn’t help thinking to myself how much I wanted to keep holding it.