I Like You, Like, A Lot (5)
“......So after hearing that confession-like thing that day, my heart just started pounding.”
“...”
“Seeing your embarrassed face made me think it was cute, and your words about wanting to stay with me from now on started sounding different.”
“......”
“Of course, I know you didn’t mean it that way. It was just something you said as a friend.”
It was definitely the kind of tone that could easily be misunderstood. Especially between friends of the opposite sex. But that casual, straightforward way of speaking was her trademark, so that day Chae-ryeong had simply spoken the same way she always did. Without any hidden intention, purely spitting out what was in her heart. She hadn’t done anything wrong.
“After that, when I asked in confusion if it was a confession, you frantically shook your head and said it wasn’t like that. You just found it fun being with me. That you simply wanted to keep hanging out together.”
As I unfolded the story I had written as a script—my actual story—Chae-ryeong looked strangely flustered. She had said earlier that she would react with excitement, so why was she frozen like that? I started worrying that she wasn’t saying anything properly and the scene might come out boring.
Instead, Chae-ryeong asked me with a worried expression.
“...Did I say something back then that caused too much misunderstanding?”
“No. It’s true that what you said that day lit a fire in my chest, but people hear what they want to hear. I just interpreted it the way I wanted to. To be exact.”
“Is that how it was?”
“Yeah. So I think I already liked you even before that. I just hadn’t realized those feelings. Your direct expression simply became the trigger that made me aware of my own heart.”
“...”
“Is this enough? Now my boring story is over. After that, it’s just the tale of me finding out I liked you and continuing my one-sided crush, so there’s nothing else.”
This should be satisfying enough, right? I looked at her with eyes that seemed to say, I did a good job writing the script, didn’t I? Chae-ryeong stared at me blankly for a moment, then suddenly snapped out of it when our eyes met and spoke.
“......Oh, is that so? It was a much simpler story than I expected?”
She said it was a simple story, but why was her voice trembling? Had she been so moved because I crafted the story too well? I couldn’t shake the feeling that her expression and tone seemed forced. It was like when Chae-ryeong wanted to hide her emotions and forcibly kept her energy bright while speaking.
“Uh, yeah, so, um. Should I call it a good story? That… kyaa!”
While squeezing out an unnatural reaction and rolling her eyes, Chae-ryeong reached for a piece of fried food in front of her, only to knock over the water cup with her arm. The cup tumbled across the desk and splashed water all over me too.
“Ugh. It’s cold.”
“S-sorry! I’ll wipe it up. I’m sorry.”
When the water hit me, she panicked even more, jumping up from her seat and rushing over in a hurry. The problem was that nothing was in her hands. If she had grabbed tissues from the table, maybe, but right now I had no idea what she was trying to do. Still wet, I stared blankly at her empty hands and asked,
“......What are you doing? Trying to wipe it with your hands?”
“Huh? Ah… that’s…”
Chae-ryeong looked down at her own empty hands and seemed dumbfounded. Her face showed she didn’t even know what she was doing.
“Why are you so out of it today? Are you really sick or something?”
She really wasn’t in good shape. This kid. Today.
I only asked out of genuine worry.
The car’s engine turned off and the vibration faded. I stared blankly again at the passenger seat where Taeo had been sitting, but when he turned his head, I pretended not to notice. Taeo smiled as if wrapping up the day and said to me,
“Good work today. On the filming.”
“Ah, yeah. You too, Yoon Taeo.”
“Get out first. I’ll leave after I watch you go up.”
“......Okay.”
Following his words, I opened the passenger door and stepped out. I gave him a small wave and was about to close the door when Taeo, who had returned my greeting with a wave, stopped me.
“Hey, wait a second.”
“Yeah?”
“Were you about to leave your bag again?”
“Ah.”
“You really can’t focus today. Here, take it.”
I took the mini bag I had left in the back seat from him. Despite the gruff words coming from his mouth, the look in his eyes as he gazed at me was warm. What was that look for?
“Go in carefully. Today seems like a perfect day for you to have an accident.”
“It’s just taking the elevator from the parking lot anyway… whatever.”
“That’s exactly why I’m worried. It looks like you wouldn’t even manage that properly if I watch you today.”
“...Come on. It’s not that bad.”
It was pointless worry. I wanted to say that, but the way I had shown myself to him today was admittedly a bit unsettling. Especially after we went to the tteokbokki place, I had been such a mess that even I didn’t know why.
Taeo seemed to think I was holding back because I was sick for the sake of filming, so he said,
“If you’re feeling sick anywhere, don’t hold it in and tell me. You know your body is more important than filming, right?”
“Yeah. I’m really not sick anywhere, so don’t worry. I guess I’m just a bit out of it today.”
“Alright, go on in.”
“Yeah, you too. Drive safe, Yoon Taeo.”
I took the mini bag he gave me, rode the elevator up from the parking lot, and headed home. My thoughts drifted elsewhere while my body naturally carried me to the apartment. I entered the passcode, opened the front door, took off my shoes, and plopped down on the sofa.
“......”
And once again, I spaced out. I stared blankly into the air with unfocused eyes. There was only one reason I had ended up like this. It was all because of Yoon Taeo. That guy again. To be exact, ever since I heard the story he had written as a script.
“......Was that really a script? A story you made up?”
There was no way. Not even a little bit of it felt like something artificially created. At first, I had listened with interest. How had Taeo come up with such an entertaining tale? He wasn’t a professional storyteller, after all. Honestly, even if the content had been a bit weak, I had planned to just laugh it off.
“......But that was way too detailed.”
His story overflowed with realism. It was packed with things only he and I could know. The exact words I had said that day. No matter how much he used real events as the background, Taeo remembered the specific things I had said with perfect accuracy. Not a single syllable off. It was so precise that I was shocked as I listened. As if that scene had remained vividly in his mind like a video recording.
The more I listened, the more that day replayed in my head. And his changing emotions became so clear I could almost see them. ......So when I said something like that, he was thinking this way. I was supposed to believe it was all a lie. I was supposed to think of it as a story he had crafted. But the look in his eyes, his meaningless gestures, the bitter smile on his face, and that overwhelming sense of the actual scene were all screaming at me that it couldn’t possibly be fake.
“How can someone make a face like that while lying…?”
People instinctively distinguish between lies and sincerity. It might be blurrier through a screen, but when facing the person in reality, you usually get a sense of it. That expression and voice that seemed excited, a little regretful, conveying both tenderness and the fresh feelings he had back then. Even if the best actor in Korea came and acted out the situation, I doubt he could have done it that convincingly.
“......If not, does that mean Yoon Taeo is a naturally gifted actor?”
I had never thought he had talent for acting. I hadn’t even seen him act much in front of me to begin with. My head was a mess. I couldn’t tell what I had just witnessed. Whether it was a play or a documentary, the distinction wouldn’t come, and it felt like my brain would split open. And what confused me even more than that was.
Exactly.
“......So you liked me back then?”
If that was true, then Taeo had been carrying a one-sided crush on me. Sincerely. No, maybe he still liked me even now. If that was the case, what was I supposed to do? No, more than that, why was I even caring about this? Whether he liked me or not, what did it have to do with me?
“He didn’t confess with his own mouth, so maybe you’re just imagining it all.”
This could all be my delusion. Besides, he hadn’t confessed his feelings to me, so even if it was true, I had no reason to pay it any mind. But I couldn’t do that. All day today, I had been so hyper-aware of his feelings that I felt dazed. What was the reason? Why exactly? Why was I so bothered by whether he liked me or not? And if he said yes, what was I going to do about it?
—People hear what they want to hear. I just interpreted it the way I wanted to. To be exact.
And why were Taeo’s words from earlier looping in my head? The part about people interpreting things favorably. If that was the case, maybe I was the one who wanted to believe he liked me. Maybe his acting had simply looked completely sincere to me because that was what I hoped for. If that was truly what I wanted…
“......Do I want Yoon Taeo to like me?”
Could it be… that I like that guy?