Do You Want to Start a YouTube Channel With Me? (1)
I was staring blankly at my phone in a cafe near campus when the text arrived. Hey, do you remember me by any chance? Was this one of those “Do you know the Tao?” things? I felt a flicker of confusion as I glanced at the KakaoTalk header warning that it was an unknown number—proceed with caution. I don’t have many people who’d reach out to me. Honestly, there weren’t even that many numbers saved in my phone. Hmm. How impressive of me.
I sent the reply dryly. From experience, these situations only led to annoying complications.
As soon as I finished typing—carefully choosing words that would hurt her the least—a sullen voice suddenly brushed against my ear.
“When did you get here?”
“Just now.”
“You’re not supposed to snoop on someone else’s phone. That’s rude.”
“Then scold me. Oh no, I’m so scared, hyung. Terrified. Shivering in fear.”
Yoon Gang-hu. The guy who had been peering at my screen from the side and now dropped into the seat across from me. This dude who made sound effects with his mouth while teasing me was my college classmate. A muscular frame paired with horn-rimmed glasses—a weird “gym-otaku weeb” character. I still don’t know exactly how we became close. During MT we happened to talk, discovered we had similar game tastes and the same weeb tendencies, and it just clicked naturally.
“Hey, don’t overdo it. What is this, a musical? Besides, I didn’t give her any hope.”
“Going to the gwating in the first place is giving her hope, isn’t it?”
“That’s… true, but… you already know why I went.”
“I know. I know very well. You went to make your fifteen-year childhood friend crush jealous in the dirtiest way possible, right?”
As expected of a weeb in the Department of Media and Video. Gang-hu answered while perfectly mimicking the protagonist from a famous lawyer movie. I felt pathetic realizing I was getting relationship advice from a guy like him. After all, I was a lifelong solo, while Gang-hu had dated multiple times.
A guy like him could date… so why couldn’t I…
“It’s not just to make her jealous—well, it’s not that it isn’t, but that’s not the whole reason.”
“Sure, sure, whatever you say. So what was the result?”
I pulled out my phone, opened the chat with my fifteen-year childhood friend, Yoo Chae-ryeong, and slid it across the table for him to see. The message was painfully clear.
That was the text I sent her on my way home after the gwating. I had definitely been fishing for her reaction. Well, the result was exactly this mess.
“Something like this?”
“This one’s terminal too. Terminal. What are we going to do? You need to start giving up, man. Can’t you see it from this?”
“…”
“Is Yoo Chae-ryeong even a girl? How can she not notice when she’s probing this obviously? This?”
“…”
“Is she completely clueless? Or does she just have zero interest in you?”
“Ugh.”
Gang-hu’s barrage of heavy facts felt like arrows piercing my heart. Yeah, he was right. Even after I told her I went to a gwating, this girl sent me encouraging messages. My childhood friend crush, Yoo Chae-ryeong, had no idea I liked her. Worse, she only saw me as a good friend. That’s why she could send texts like that.
“We’ve been best friends for fifteen years. It makes sense, right? It probably feels more like siblings than anything romantic.”
“Don’t call us siblings.”
“I’d get goosebumps if someone told me to date my own little sister, so I get it.”
“It’s not that bad… please…”
I understood. Once a long relationship solidifies, it’s hard to shift perspective. Still, I wished he wouldn’t put it that way.
“Honestly, with your face you could date anyone else. You could confess to a girl you just met and she’d probably say yes.”
“I want to give up too… but what am I supposed to do when I can’t?”
I really did want to give up. That’s why I forced myself to go to that gwating. I thought college would be different. I believed meeting new girls and gaining experience would dull my feelings for her. But the new semester had already been going for over a month, and nothing had changed. No matter how many department classmates I met, how many gwatings I attended, or how many pretty seniors I saw, I felt nothing. Yoo Chae-ryeong was just so much cuter. Ah, I miss Yoo Chae-ryeong. That thought kept looping in my head on repeat.
“Ugh. You stubborn idiot. If you can’t give up, at least confess already.”
“Can’t you tell from that chat? If I confess, we won’t even stay friends. She doesn’t even see me as a guy.”
“Then what do you want me to say? You hate this, you hate that. Getting rejected and moving on is the fastest route, I keep telling you.”
“Are you a T? Show some empathy! Empathy!”
“Aww. Is our Taeo drowning in regrets because Chae-ryeong doesn’t notice? Is it hard?”
“Fuck. Just don’t bother empathizing.”
Hearing that deep male voice talk to me like I was a child made the iced Americano I’d just drunk threaten to come back up. Gang-hu saw the nausea in my eyes, took a quick sip of his own drink, then spoke again in a tone that actually sounded sympathetic.
“Okay, fine. I do get it. Yoo Chae-ryeong really is that pretty. It makes sense you can’t give up. Yeah.”
He was right. Yoo Chae-ryeong was genuinely beautiful. It was childish, but the rumor that she was the goddess of the Department of Media and Video had already spread across the entire school.
“She’s the goddess of the Department of Media and Video, right? She has the face of an actress, not a PD or director. I still don’t get why she chose this major.”
“I’m not into her just for her face. I like her personality and how thoughtful she is, okay?”
“Ah, yes. Of course. I believe you. Totally.”
He clearly didn’t believe a word. Little shit.
Actually, I did know why she chose this department. Yoo Chae-ryeong’s dream was to become a YouTuber. When she first told me she was applying to the Department of Media and Video, she said it with sparkling eyes: I’m going to learn everything about YouTube here and become a famous YouTuber! It was such a pure, very her kind of goal. No need to tell this guy about it, though.
That was when my phone, which I’d left face-down on the table, vibrated.
Was it that girl again…? She hadn’t replied to my rejection for a while. I wondered if a long string of curses was coming, so I checked the screen. Instead, her name was there.
[Yoo Chae-ryeong]
Speak of the tiger and it appears. I shot Gang-hu a “shh” gesture with my index finger to my lips, then answered the call.
“Hey, Yoon Taeo. What are you doing right now? Classes over?”
“Classes are done, so I grabbed lunch and came to the cafe with Gang-hu.”
“When’s your next class? Are you finished with morning lectures?”
“Yeah, I’m done.”
Her voice was bright and bouncy, like a puppy greeting its owner after a long day. I always thought the lively, honest tone suited her perfectly. If I had to compare her to an animal, it would definitely be a beagle. Gang-hu watched our conversation with an expression that screamed are you two for real?
“I just had the most amazing idea! Taeo! It’s a crazy idea! I’m serious!”
“Oh, really?”
“It’s true! You’ll be shocked when you hear it! Don’t give me that half-hearted reaction!”
Her dramatic flair and random nonsense were nothing new. I stayed quiet, waiting to hear what ridiculous thing Yoo Chae-ryeong would say this time. It was probably something pointless again—like how the new toilet bowl cleaner she bought worked amazingly well, or how delicious the pasta she ate earlier was and that we should go together next time. Our conversations were always like that.
“So tell me. What’s this world-shaking idea? Let’s hear it.”
“So here’s the thing…”
Chae-ryeong paused for a second, then let out a playful giggle.
With completely baseless confidence from who-knows-where, she boldly dropped that nonsense.