Yesterday and Today (2)

"...No. That isn't true, is it?"

The trembling voice had already heard every word. Even so, she had no choice but to ask again—a question whose answer she already knew.

"It is."

"I was the defense team leader during the Seoul Entry Tragedy."

The captain answered with her gaze fixed on the floor, as if she had set every last thing down.

"..."

A tear slid soundlessly from Hana's eye. The shaking in her body grew violent, and her breathing turned ragged with it. A brittle stillness filled the room, so fragile it seemed a single touch would break it.

I have to do something—

"Murderer!!!"

The cry ripped out of her and shattered that brief quiet completely. An instant later the cake in Hana's hands flew straight at the captain. It burst apart with a wet smack, and mashed cream and broken sponge slid pitifully down the captain's face.

Crushed beneath the weight of her guilt, the captain did not so much as flinch. She neither wiped the cream running down her face nor brushed the cake from her clothes. Or perhaps she simply couldn't.

"I'm sor—"

"I don't want to hear it!!!"

Hana's face had already collapsed, soaked and ruined with tears. Both hands scrabbled to wipe them away, but no matter how she wiped, they would not stop, and that only made her look more wretched.

"Ha... Hana!"

I started up to catch her, and the captain seized my arm. I looked at her, then back toward the door. Hana was already gone.

The cake board stuck to the captain's face dropped onto the table with a limp little thud. Table and floor were a wreck. Whipped cream and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠sponge were smeared everywhere, and one oblivious cherry rolled back and forth across the tabletop.

I pulled my eyes off the cherry and looked at the captain. She was small to begin with, and hunched in on herself like that, she looked smaller still. She had always been strong, proud, someone you could lean on. I had never once seen her this weak.

People's lives really were a complicated thing.

I got to my feet and went to my little big sis. White cream and brown sponge clung here and there along the long fall of her black hair. I carefully wiped the cream from her hair and her face. Any other day she would have snapped, I can wipe it myself, you rascal! and cracked me one across the shin. Our little big sis—seeing her like this felt all wrong.

"Enough. I am fine."

A voice like something dying rose, low, from below.

"Fine how? You don't look fine at all."

Another awkward silence settled in. Cold air drifted through the open door. I crossed the room, shut it, fetched tissues, and wiped my little big sis's face clean.

"Talk to me."

"Captain, we've only known each other a month, but you felt it. You saw how Hana reacted."

I took her cheeks in both hands, lifted her face, and made her look at me.

"We're not just people who met a month ago."

"We're family now, aren't we?"

The captain started to open her mouth.

"Try telling me we aren't. I'll walk out right behind her."

I let go of her cheeks, went back to my seat, and sat.

"We'll hear that answer with all three of us in the room. For now, talk. I know you're not the kind of person who would do something like that for no reason."

"..."

"Oh, for the love of—"

Too frustrated to sit still, I shot to my feet, clenched my fists, and strode over. My little big sis was still staring into nothing.

Smack!

Only then did the captain look at me, eyes wide with surprise.

"Honestly, the both of you are impossible."

"One of you won't even hear the story. Just screams every curse she knows and bolts."

"The other clamps her mouth shut and mumbles that she's fine, she's fine, on and on."

"Are you both idiots? Talk to me. Please."

Something inside Hwaran came loose. It was not gone entirely, but the pressure crushing her had ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠eased, if only a little.

Right. I promised. Jangwon, I'm sorry. I let the gloom take me again. But there's someone here a lot like you. Just having him beside me... I don't know why, but it gets easier. ...I'm glad.

The captain offered a faint smile and opened her mouth.

"Jaehee, you rascal. I'll pay that flick back later."

She rubbed her head and shot me a small glare.

"I'll pass. Just tell me the story."

Turning a thank-you into a threat of payback—our captain really was the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠shy sort. Her mood seemed to have lifted, at least a little. Time to hear it.

"It was fifteen years ago."

"Well, would you look at that—a 1st Grade Librarian license! Captain, you're incredible!"

"Enough, you rascal."

"Man... it's so cool. I could stare at this all day and never get tired."

"Hand it over now, you rascal."

"Aw, come on, just a little longer."

A cold dawn, under a clear sky without a single cloud. Two silhouettes stood at the mouth of the tunnel, washed in the low gold of the early light. The patch on their shoulders was the mark of Seoul Defense Team 2. Beside the nameplate reading Baek Hwaran sat the seal that certified a 1st Grade Librarian. The blade at her hip was, at a glance, nothing like the mass-produced weapons issued to everyone else. Her frame was small. The presence she carried was not.

"At this pace, you'll hit Special Grade before long, if I may say so."

"Even 1st Grade is already more than the likes of us can hold on to..."

"Captain, maybe take the scenic route up to Special Grade, yeah?"

The nameplate of the man chattering without pause at her side read Kim Seungjun. A 3rd Grade Librarian. Lower than Hwaran in post and in rank, but seasoned enough to have eaten his share of years. Deeply tanned skin, a short sporty cut. Energy practically spilled off him; he looked like he could not sit still if he tried. He and Hwaran were oil and water, and that was exactly why they fit.

"You rascal, my ears are ringing. Cease your fussing and let us prepare the defense."

"Yes, ma'am!"

Vehicles streamed in and out of the tunnel. Around the position, people and robots moved in a constant bustle. As the sun climbed, the traffic thinned. A checkpoint went up. Mobile gun batteries were set in place. By the time the sun stood at the top of the sky, the last of the bustle had ended.

The final vehicle pulled clear, the tunnel gate shut, and Seungjun came over to Hwaran.

"All supplies have arrived, exact count."

"Personnel readiness is also complete."

Barricades stood across the front of the tunnel. On either side, a machine-gun nest and a gun battery had been emplaced as a pair.

"Good. Has the full five-kilometer radius been confirmed All Green?"

"Yes. All Green."

Everything was proceeding without a hitch. After the Aegis system had been established, the major cities and roads had become safe zones known as green zones. That was why everyone wanted to reach the great cities.

Hwaran looked down at the situation board.

"Acknowledged."

The people arrived not long after. Everything moved along without a snag. That was what she was thinking when it happened.

From the east, a tremendous roar split the air, and a dark mass of light speared up into the sky. Every eye snapped toward it.

"C... Captain?"

Hwaran drew her blade and shouted.

"Prepare for battle!!"

"Mid-form at minimum!! But do not be afraid!!"

"Everyone, please do not panic, and follow our directions!"

The whole site began to stir. The anticipation and hope of entry were twisting into unease and fear.

Hwaran lowered her voice and spoke into the in-ear.

"Opening the gate... it won't be allowed, will it?"

"..."

Meaning it would not open until the aberration threat was gone. If she lost her head now, on top of all this, it would become a tragedy. Hwaran drew a calm breath.

"Hyeongjun! Seona! Gather the civilians and fall back toward the tunnel!"

A black membrane was drawing over the sky. Fear rose in people's hearts in step with the darkening overhead.

"What is going on?! All you have to do is open the gate, isn't it?!"

"He's right... please, let us through...!"

"Mom, I'm scared...."

Confusion swelled right alongside the rising terror.

"Enough! I won't say it again. Follow our control."

Seungjun worked to get the scene in hand. Too much time had already been burned just holding the site together. Even now, she needed to punch out and stop them at the front.

"Fire-support squad, take the battery positions! The rest of the combat force, with me!"

The location was bad. The situation was worse.

"Engage!!"

Trees shattered, and a horde of aberrations poured through the breach. Machine guns spat fire and melted the front rank of the pack, but it was nowhere near enough to hold back a wave. Librarians drew their arms and threw themselves into it.

Too many. They'll leak through in the end. I have to kill the leader as fast as I can.

"Seungjun!! Clear a path—"

"Baek Hwaran, responding."

"...What?"

For a heartbeat, Hwaran froze. What kind of order was that supposed to be? The line was already starting to collapse. The Mid-form aberration had closed to within a kilometer.

A four-legged beast like a lion, its mane burning violet, turned all six of its eyes on the people and stared, greedy and unblinking.

My team. And the civilians. Abandon all of them?

"I cannot carry out that order!!"

"How could I—"

Hwaran was gesturing sharply, halfway through a protest into the radio, when Seungjun came running and set his back to hers.

"Captain!! Go!!"

"Something worse must have broken out at Exit 5!!"

"I'll protect the civilians!"

She could not see his face, but the resolve came through his back and into hers.

"Five minutes. I'll be back within five."

She turned to leave, and her eyes met a civilian's. In the woman's arms, a child with pale blue-silver hair was crying. Hwaran squeezed her eyes shut.

Exit 5 must be bad enough that no one else can hold it. It has to be. That's the only way this makes sense.

She ran. She ran like something mad. The faces flickering up in front of her, she wiped away with everything she had.

"Hah... hah..."

Nothing? There's nothing. What is this?

No blood. No people. No aberrations. Beyond the tunnel gate as it sealed, only a few vehicles vanishing down the road.

"Baek Hwaran. Arrival at Exit 5... complete."

The gate shut fully, and the radio came back.

"..."

She could not understand it. No—she refused to. Accept it, and she was certain she would go mad.

Right... from the start, today's inbound was only ever at Exit 2. They already passed through here. They're already gone. Whoever that precious body was, they already went through!!

I begged for it not to be true.... Because of those few who snuck in like rats.... Because of those fucking bastards....

It felt as if rage were burning her brain out from the inside. This body, jerked around helplessly before power. This weakness. This powerlessness. They closed around her throat. A headache she could not bear stabbed at her mind without mercy.

By the time she made it back to Exit 2, the place was hell. Human corpses and aberration corpses lay tangled together in heaps. The raw stink of blood and the reek of burned powder drove up into her nose. Groans rose from every direction and scrambled what was left of her thoughts.

A 1st Grade Librarian?

Ha. Ha ha.

Laughter burst out of her. She tore the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠nameplate free, hurled it down, and stomped it. Again and again she ground it under her heel, crushed it, mangled it. The name Baek Hwaran was being wretchedly defiled. Amid the screams and groans echoing through the heart of that hell, Hwaran's mind was collapsing, utterly.

"D... don't... do that."

Seungjun's voice reached her.

"C... Captain."

She came back to herself, ran to him, and pulled him into her arms.

"Don't... lose your mind."

"Don't talk...!"

She could not stop the tears. She was so furious she could hardly breathe, and she hated her helpless self so much she could not stand it.

"Captain... I respected you."

"I still... do. So..."

Seungjun was wringing out the last of his strength.

"Don't cry...."

He left a small smile behind him, and then he stopped breathing. Hwaran could only clutch at her splitting heart and sob.

That day, a bruise that could never be erased was carved into the girl's heart.