18, I've Become a Stage Actor [05]
When I opened the dressing room curtain and stepped out, the two of them were still standing in the same spot. Aya was leaning against a clothing rack, inspecting her nails. Seorin was leaning against the wall, scanning a display of scarves. The air between them was taut. In the silence where no one dared to speak… Gulp. I swallowed hard. Why was I so nervous? Was this the right thing to do? Still, I had to decide eventually. I approached them, holding the navy kimono in my hand. “I’ll go with this one.”
I saw her red eyes flicker. Was she shocked? Her body was trembling ever so slightly. “What about the sky blue one?”
“I like the navy one better.”
It was true that I was drawn to the navy. Perhaps because it was a color that resembled Seorin? Just looking at it made my heart feel calm. But I didn’t voice that fact. If I did, it would surely lead to an unnecessary dispute.
“…Then I suppose it can’t be helped.” Aya pouted for a moment before letting it go. Thank goodness. At least a big fight didn’t break out. I let out a quiet sigh of relief. Seorin didn’t say a word. Her eyes just drifted toward me for a second before looking away. The cold, rigid expression on her face had softened with a touch of vitality. Was she happy that I chose the navy kimono? A small smile hovered on her lips. I wanted to ask out of curiosity, but I held it back. Aya’s gaze was too intense—it was as if flames were burning in her eyes. I wasn’t seeing things, was I? For now, I needed to get out of here quickly.
After finishing the payment, we left the shop. I adjusted my grip on the shopping bag handles and took a step forward. That was the moment. Arms hooked into mine from both the left and the right simultaneously. Aya grabbed my left arm firmly, and on the right, Seorin linked her arm through mine as if it were the most natural thing in the world. It happened before I could even say a word. The two of them began to walk forward, holding me on both sides, as if this were only natural. As if it had been this way from the very beginning…
I was so flustered that my face went stiff. Hey, you’re too close. Could you please give me a little space? You’re pressed against my chest and waist way too much. I screamed internally, but nothing came out. It would be useless to say anything anyway. I already knew deep down that neither of them had any intention of listening. I felt so pathetic being dragged along like this. I felt like crying. How did I end up with a fate like this? I don’t even know.
As we walked slowly along the shopping street, eyes were drawn to us from all directions. A passing couple glanced back, and someone standing in front of a convenience store looked on, completely mesmerized. Both of them had such striking appearances. With them walking side-by-side in yukatas, arms linked with me, it was only natural for people to react that way. Aya was the type to enjoy that attention. If anything, she straightened her shoulders even more. She clung to my arm tighter, her steps becoming lighter in tandem. Honestly, I was a little envious that she could be so confident.
Seorin was the opposite. She seemed to have cut off the awareness of the surroundings entirely. She didn’t waver, nor did she shrink away. I thought that look… was cool. Seorin walked as if this situation wasn’t special at all. Caught in the middle, I didn’t know what to do with my face. While I was being tossed about, flustered, I realized my feet had stopped moving. In that gap, Aya unlinked her arm and ran off somewhere. Why was she in such a hurry? Wondering, I followed where Aya had headed. It was a general store. Aya stood in front of the hair accessory corner without a moment’s hesitation. Her hands moved quickly. Picking things up, putting them down, picking them up again. She selected ten items that way. She held three of them out in front of me. “Which one of these three is the prettiest?”
Seorin reached out quietly from the side. A hair clip with green, leafy patterns. She took it. “This one fits perfectly.”
“Can’t you see I’m talking to Unni-nim? Don’t butt in. Are you that oblivious?”
“I know.”
“Hmph. You’re less refined than you look.”
A short silence flowed. Aya bit her lip slightly before letting it go. She stared at Seorin as if to say she wouldn’t lose. I thought that these two looked alike sometimes. Their stubborn gazes, their refusal to back down. Of course, I didn’t intend to say that out loud. Watching Aya pay, Seorin said in a low voice, “Aren’t you hot?”
“A little.”
Seorin looked around for a moment. She glanced around once and pointed with her chin. “Let’s go to the shade over there.”
Her hand touched my back lightly before falling away. We stood in the shade of the eaves for a moment. People were coming and going inside the shopping street, and soft music played from somewhere. I didn’t know what the song was. It was a quiet, leisurely melody. A breeze passed by. The hem of my yukata lifted slightly before settling back down.
“Unni-nim. Do you know that music?”
“Well. I don’t.”
“They say it’s an old folk song. It’s said to pray for the love of couples. Especially a song that cheers on impossible love.”
I listened quietly. Now that I heard it, I felt like I knew it a little. It had a similar atmosphere to the background music I used to play during theater practice. The moment I opened my mouth to speak, “Excuse me.”
A voice was heard. It was a female student. Was she about seventeen? She was with two friends. All three were wearing yukatas. Pink, yellow, sky blue. It was cute just seeing them standing in a row in their colors. The girl at the very front asked cautiously, “By any chance… you’re Seong Yuna, right?”
“Yes, that’s me.”
When I answered with a smile, the three of them widened their eyes at the same time. They started whispering to each other while looking at my face. They tried to lower their voices, but I heard everything. It’s her, it is, it’s real, I told you it was real. The same words were exchanged rapidly.
“I saw the commercial. You were really pretty.”
“Thank you.”
“Um, by any chance, could we take a picture?”
The end of her sentence went up slightly. They were asking so carefully, so wouldn’t a photo be fine? I answered with a slight smile, “Of course. Let’s take one together.”
The three of them looked at each other again. This time, there were no words. It was as if they were communicating with just their eyes. They stood in a row and took pictures one by one. The first girl, the second girl, the third girl. Finally, all three at once. I could feel how happy they were throughout the process. That sight made me feel strangely proud.
“Thank you!” I saw their backs as they bowed. I waved my hand. Just before those girls turned away, one of them looked back up. “Um… if it’s not too much trouble, could we take one with the people next to you too? Everyone is so pretty.”
My eyes went to Aya and Seorin. Aya stepped forward with a face already prepared. “Of course.”
Seorin took her place naturally without a word. I thought she would hate it, but it didn’t seem so. The four of us stood in a row. The sound of the shutter rang out repeatedly. The female students checked the screen and looked at each other again. Once again, whispers were heard. So pretty, amazing. Mixed in with the praise was, Who is that person…?
“Thank you!” I watched the backs of the three as they hurried away. The hems of their yukatas fluttered. After they disappeared around the corner of the alley, laughter was heard faintly from afar before it cut off. Only the shop music continued to play quietly. Aya tilted her head toward me. “You have a lot of fans, Unni-nim.”
“It’s not that many.”
“No, it is. Do you know how many comments there are after the commercial came out? I read them all.”
That was a fact I didn’t know, so I was dazed for a moment. “All of them?”
“All of them.” Seorin added in a low voice, “Me too.”
The two of them looked at each other at the same time, then naturally looked away. Aya, and Seorin too. The more they tried not to resemble each other, the more they seemed to. Since they would both glare at me if I said that out loud, I buried it in my heart. Forever…
We started walking again. Seorin’s hand found my arm again from the right, and on the left, Aya was already clinging to me, arms linked. Before I knew it, it was like this again. My face stiffened automatically. The gazes of passersby were drawn to us again. I wish I could get used to it, but I didn’t get used to it at all. The two of them showed no agitation. They just walked. Aya peered into shop windows, and Seorin looked straight ahead. Am I the only one who’s so self-conscious?
“There’s a Japanese confectionery shop over there. Let’s go in.” Aya said, slowing her pace. “…Again?”
“There’s always room for dessert, right?”
It wasn’t a wrong statement. Seorin pulled the door open first. A sweet scent wafted out. A scent of red bean and rice flour mixed… a scent that was both familiar and strange. The Japanese sweets were neatly arranged on wooden shelves. As befitting summer treats, the colors were vivid. Pale navy, clear green, white. Aya buried her face in the display case as if to inspect them. “How about this? It’s hydrangea-shaped.”
Seorin stood next to her and pointed to the other side. “This one would be better. It’s less sweet.”
“Unni-nim likes sweet things.”
“If you eat too much, your stomach gets uncomfortable.”
Aya stopped for a moment. And slowly, she lifted her head to look at Seorin. There was no word. Seorin looked at Aya too. Still no word. It was only a few seconds of silence, but for some reason, it felt long. Eventually, Aya lowered her gaze quietly. “…I didn’t even know that.” Her voice was calm. Seorin didn’t add anything else. I had no words to interject either. Today was such a long day. At the shrine, at the noodle shop, at the general store, and now in this alley. Will this time disappear when the play ends? What does Aya intend to do? I didn’t know if I wanted to ask, or if it was better not to ask.
A wind blew strongly once. I closed my eyes for a moment and opened them. The end of the alley was visible. If we go out beyond that, there will be a main road. There will be more people, and daily life will begin again. But for now, we were still here. A narrow, old alley. Tilted sunlight. Two sources of warmth transmitted from both sides. Our footsteps rang out in unison. I wanted to hold onto this stillness, just before it disappeared, for a little longer.
♡♥♡
The sound of the front door closing echoed. I put down my keys and took off my shoes. The familiar floor touched the soles of my feet. “I’ll wash up first.” Leaving only those words, I headed to my room. The moment my hand touched the doorknob, I didn’t even have time to turn around. My wrist was grabbed. My back hit the door. With a thud, my vision was blocked. Our eyes met. Her eyes were strange today. Pretending to be calm… eyes with something welling up inside them.
“Seorin-ah…” Calling her name was the limit. Our lips overlapped. There was no warning. Not soft, not rough. My eyes closed on their own. The strength left my shoulders. My knees, my fingertips. As if collapsing… my body felt like it was going to sink downward. Her hand wrapped around my waist. Her fingers slid over the fabric… and pressed against the middle of my back. At that moment, the kiss deepened. There was no room to breathe. Her tongue touched, and she stole into my mouth frantically. Lightly, sometimes roughly. But without any intention of backing away. Why is it so hot? I did nothing. No resistance, no consent. Just leaning against the door, I took it. I let Seorin do as she wished. My lips, my breath, the way I tilted my head back. As if it had been unavoidable from the start.
My heart was noisy. I didn’t know it would be this noisy. My breath grew short. I was dizzy from a lack of oxygen. I struggled and grabbed her body. Only then did Seorin’s lips slowly pull away. Our foreheads touched. Our breathing mixed. Was it Seorin’s, or mine? I don’t know. My head was a mess. I couldn’t open my eyes. If I opened them, it felt like something would end. This temperature, this distance… I wanted to do it a little more. A little more. More…
“…Yuna.” Her voice didn’t come out properly.
“Yes.” My breath was heavy, but I managed to squeeze it out.
“Today, be prepared.” As if that alone explained everything. I had nothing to say. I exhaled slowly. Her hand fell from my waist. Our foreheads remained touching. I opened my eyes. I saw Seorin. She was looking at me. There were no words. No explanation, no excuse. She was just looking. With eyes that said that was enough. I opened my mouth to say something.
“W-wait, let me wash up first…”
“No. It’s time for your punishment.”
That was the moment. Seorin’s fingers touched the knot of my clothes. It was slight. Intentional, and slow. The sash came undone. Without a sound. Without a breeze. Down my shoulders, down my arms. Just before it hit the floor, Seorin pulled me again. Our lips overlapped. It was quieter than before. It wasn’t rough. I closed my eyes. I just accepted everything. The hem of my clothes that had slipped down caught on my ankles. I didn’t even feel that soon. Nothing had ended. Rather, it was just beginning. When that thought crossed my mind… my body was already leaning toward her.