18 Years Old, I’ve Become a Stage Actor [04]
The broth was slowly cooling.
But I couldn't bring myself to take a bite. I was just struggling with the situation itself. Aya was sitting pressed tightly against my left side, and across from me, Seorin sat quietly with her arms crossed. The air flowing between the two of them made the thought of picking up my chopsticks feel even more distant.
I’m not the only one feeling this, right?
It felt like I was being suffocated. Like I was thrashing about underwater. My breath hitched, and my heart hammered against my ribs. I wanted to escape this spot as quickly as possible. Someone, anyone—please, save me.
“Onee-sama, open up.”
Suddenly, Aya picked up her chopsticks. While I was momentarily distracted by her elegant, noble-lady-like movements, she picked up a piece of fish cake and held it out toward me, her mouth forming an “ah” shape.
It was a movement without a hint of hesitation.
“…Ah, Aya. I can eat by myself.”
“Go on. I can feed you better than you can feed yourself.”
She looked at me with her eyes slightly glistening with tears. I wanted to refuse, but my arm moved on its own. If someone looked at me with those eyes, most people would probably give in. I had no choice but to open my mouth slightly.
Munch, munch.
The fish cake entered my mouth. It was soft and chewy. Whether it was because it had soaked up the broth, the more I chewed, the deeper the flavor became. It was delicious—delicious enough that I wanted another bite. At that moment…
I heard the sound of a teacup being set down across from me.
It was a small sound, but for some reason, it pierced my ears. Seorin’s gaze was locked onto Aya. Her mouth seemed to be smiling, but… I wasn't sure if that could be called a smile. It was the first time I’d seen such a terrifying expression on her.
“You two are close.”
“Aren’t we? When you do theater, you naturally get close. We’re always sticking together like best friends.”
“…It’s just work, anyway.”
“Do you really think so?”
Aya replied without missing a beat. She covered her mouth and laughed, looking just like a mischievous child. Hey, I really wish you wouldn't provoke Seorin so much.
“On stage, we hold hands, and I get hugged, too. Right, Onee-sama?”
…Why are you asking me? That was all Aya’s doing on her own accord. I didn't do anything wrong.
“…Well, it’s just practice.”
That’s right. It’s practice. There are no feelings beyond that. I’m devoted to Seorin, heart and soul. I would never cheat. Don’t worry. She is my one and only partner for life.
“See? Yuna isn't really interested in you.”
Phew. Thank goodness. I can see a smile on her face again. I was relieved for a moment, but then Aya narrowed her eyes. She pretended to think about something and started counting on her fingers.
“Is that so? Want to hear? Holding hands. Wrapping arms around the waist. Foreheads touching. And then…”
“Aya, that’s enough!”
If you just say it like that, people will get the wrong idea! Everything happened in the play. I have to correct this before a misunderstanding arises. As I gestured frantically, Aya reached out and poked my cheek lightly, laughing.
“I’m joking, Onee-sama.”
The word “joke” sounded even more precarious. I don’t know why, but my chest felt tight.
Seorin looked at me. Just once. Briefly. That gaze was as cold as ice.
“It seems the practice scenes are quite varied.”
“Yes. There are many scenes where we have to pour in our emotions.”
Aya continued, lifting her teacup. “Because you have to be close for it to be conveyed. Right?”
I didn't even know who she was asking now. Seorin nodded expressionlessly.
“Right. I know that well. I even know where the mole on Yuna’s body is. You wouldn't know that, would you?”
The air changed in an instant. Aya’s hand froze. She stopped lifting her cup and set it back down.
…A mole? My face turned hot. Did you really have to bring that up here? I kicked her foot lightly under the table. You shouldn't tell anyone about things like that! Look, Aya has completely frozen up, too. And there are other people around. Ah, how embarrassing.
Aya was silent for a moment, then folded her hands neatly on her lap.
“That’s only natural. You would have been the closest. I’m not flustered by things like that.”
“Liar. Your pupils were shaking.”
“…However.”
Aya looked up at me. Her red eyes were quiet and firm.
“If it were me, I wouldn't let a single drop of water touch Onee-sama. I wouldn't even make her do this theater work. She could just stay by my side.”
“…What?”
“I would take her as my precious bride and make her the most noble existence in the world.”
The table suddenly felt much smaller. I understood what she meant. I understood, but… where on earth is this conversation going? A bride? Is she talking about me right now?
I searched my brain for something to counter with, but nothing came out. Seorin smiled silently. It was a smile without a sound. Only the corners of her mouth lifted, just a tiny bit.
“A bride…”
She chewed on the word as if checking its taste. Not rushing at all.
“That’s a nice thing to say.”
“I’m being sincere.”
There was no playfulness in Aya’s voice. That made it feel even heavier.
“I’m sincere, too.”
Seorin picked up her teacup again. Every one of her fingers was elegant. Yet, she didn't shake in the slightest.
“Yuna is already my bride. She’s mine.”
Just before the cup touched her lips, Seorin’s gaze turned to Aya. Aya narrowed her eyes.
“For now.”
“Now, and in the future. She is mine.”
“You never know what will happen in the future.”
The air between the two was pulled taut. I don’t know when it started, but I was holding my breath. It was a short, sharp exchange. Neither of them raised their voices. If anything, that made it even more terrifying.
I took a bite of my noodles. It was warm. But it didn't taste like anything. Why didn't it taste like anything?
“What do you think, Onee-sama?”
Aya turned her head toward me. Our eyes met. There was no time to look away.
“…Huh?”
“Between Seorin-ssi and me, who do you think is a better fit to be by your side?”
“…No. Th-that is.”
“Why? It’s not a difficult question.”
Aya pulled my arm slightly. Her voice was low and quiet. This was the first time I’d heard Aya speak like this. Her innocent smile looked… different somewhere. Would it be rude to think that was scary?
“I love Onee-sama’s smiling face so much. Even when it’s hard during practice, you smile. It feels like you only show that moment to me.”
…That was just me smiling during practice. I wasn't showing it to anyone in particular.
“I…”
Seorin slowly opened her mouth. The sound of her setting down the teacup came first.
“A smiling face is nice, too. But I know the expression you make right before you cry. I know how you look when you’re working harder than anyone else, sweating. I know it all.”
That’s just because you’ve known me for a long time. It doesn't really mean anything…
Aya was silent for a while. That silence was longer than I thought. The hand on her lap clenched once and then released. I hadn't meant to look, but it caught my eye.
“I see.”
Aya said calmly. “Then I will get to know those things from now on.”
“How much time do you think you have?”
“I have plenty.”
She was composed. Her voice didn't waver in the slightest. Why is that girl so confident? Strangely, it was kind of cute… but it was also a huge headache.
Seorin set her chopsticks down.
“Yuna.”
“…Yeah.”
“Eat up.”
That was all she said. For some reason, that one sentence eased my tension a little. I took another spoonful of the broth. This time, I could taste it. It was rich and warm.
Aya leaned toward me again and whispered.
“Onee-sama, give me a bite, too.”
“…Isn't it better to eat your own?”
“I think yours looks tastier than mine.”
We ordered the same menu, so what are you talking about? I swallowed those words. It would only get tiring.
In the end, I handed her a piece of fish cake. Aya accepted it as if it were only natural. Across from us, Seorin was watching the scene quietly. Our eyes met. Seorin turned her head toward the window without a word.
I knew, but there was nothing I could do. I didn't have a single answer for how to handle this situation. A flower petal drifted past the window. It swayed in the wind and then disappeared from view.
When does the play end again? Next Saturday. …I had a feeling I would collapse from exhaustion before then.
When we left the noodle shop, the sun had dipped a little lower. I had eaten, so why was I so tired? Aya walked on my left, and Seorin walked on my right, both of them sticking close to me. I felt like a sandwich. A sandwich where the two slices of bread were thicker than I expected.
As we exited the alley, a small shopping district continued. Signs were lined up among the old buildings. A pottery shop, a convenience store, a tea house. And at the end of it, a shop filled with clothes in the window caught my eye. Aya stopped first.
“Oh my, look at this.”
Her eyes sparkled before we even walked in. I already knew that look was dangerous.
“Can’t we go in for a moment? I see something that would look really good on Onee-sama.”
Seorin cast a glance toward the window. She didn't exactly refuse. I knew that was as good as permission.
How did it end up like this? It was supposed to be a simple gentleman’s date.
As we pushed open the shop door and entered, a subtle scent wafted out. A smell of wood mixed with fabric softener. It was a small shop, but it was packed with clothes. It had an atmosphere where traditional textiles and modern patterns were strangely mixed.
The back wall was covered in kimonos. Aya immediately dove into the racks.
“How about this?”
What she pulled out was a pale sky-blue kimono. Scattered across the light base were calm cherry blossom patterns. It wasn't bad. But I wasn't sure if it was my style.
“It’s cute, but…”
“It’s a perfect fit for Onee-sama. Try it on.”
Aya was already heading toward the fitting room. Just then, Seorin approached quietly. She scanned the hangers slowly, then pulled something out from the back. It was a deep navy kimono. The base was a deep, dark color, and large white butterfly patterns were embroidered over it.
“This one is better.”
“Wouldn't both be fine?”
“This suits Yuna better.”
She was firm. She was firm without even an explanation. She didn't drag out the reasons.
Just then, Aya returned to her spot. When she saw what Seorin was holding, her expression changed.
“Cutting in line is cowardly.”
“I know.”
“I chose this first.”
“The order doesn't matter.”
“…”
“…”
A short silence. Both of them looked at me. I stood there holding a kimono in each hand. Uh… what should I do?
“Wouldn't it be fine to try on both?”
I regretted saying that immediately. Because both of their eyes lit up at the same time.
I entered the fitting room and closed the curtain. It was a small, quiet space. I looked at the kimonos in each hand, alternating between them. Sky blue and navy. Cherry blossoms and butterflies. They both said they suited me, but the real problem was what I wanted.
My face in the mirror looked exhausted. I’m just picking out clothes, right?
I let out a short sigh and picked up the navy kimono first. Inside the fitting room, I made a vow to myself: From now on, I will never come to a clothing store with them again. Never again…