Chapter 61
Chapter 61
And such extreme emotions utterly bewildered me.
Having lived an exceedingly ordinary life, I had never experienced feelings of that intensity. That doesn't mean I've never loved anyone, or that I've never been angry enough to want to hurt someone. It simply means I've never felt emotions that overwhelming.
I did love my family. If my parents had passed away, I would have lived the rest of my life regretting that I hadn't done enough for them. I always felt affection for my parents, and even when our lives rubbed together and we clashed, I still believed that family is family.
But I had never felt my heart pound at the mere sight of their faces and wanted to run and embrace them. Even during my first leave from the military, though I was incredibly happy to see them, I hadn't felt this level of emotion.
I had also disliked plenty of people.
There were friends who became bitter enemies after a small fight, and there was a regular customer at my workplace I couldn't stand. Of course, I'd wanted to beat them up at times, wished they'd just die in my head, or cursed them behind their backs.
But I had never had to forcibly restrain myself from killing someone.
"Come here."
Choi Na-kyung said, both arms stretched out toward me.
One step. Ye Sa-ra's body moved toward her. I felt like I was being crushed by the weight of the emotions surging up from deep within my chest.
It was a truly bizarre sensation.
'I' was definitely feeling emotions. Or maybe they weren't mine, but Ye Sa-ra's. It was as if the memories and feelings of Ye Sa-ra, who I thought had swallowed a handful of sleeping pills and fallen asleep forever, were slowly awakening at the sight of Choi Na-kyung.
But still, I couldn't agree with those emotions one hundred percent.
Because I did not share Ye Sa-ra's memories.
I didn't know the reason, the method, or the cause, but I had entered Ye Sa-ra's body. If Ye Sa-ra's own personality still remained, then right now I was intimately close to her. Close enough that I might even claim to be Ye Sa-ra herself.
But even though our minds were trapped in the same body, I felt as if I were watching Ye Sa-ra from one step away.
I am standing right here.
Ye Sa-ra is trying to move forward.
And I can't properly empathize with that Ye Sa-ra.
With these bizarre circumstances piling on top of each other, Ye Sa-ra's body was moving forward, one clumsy step at a time, like a child just learning to walk.
"......."
The face of Choi Na-kyung, who had been smiling at me, no, at Ye Sa-ra, clouded slightly.
What had that woman come here to prove?
It didn't seem like she had threatened or made any offers to Ha-neul, Lee Su-a, or Shin So-hee. After all, Choi Na-kyung hadn't even been looking at them from the start.
As if she had been desperately waiting, she had been sitting facing the door Ye Sa-ra was going to enter, waiting endlessly.
Choi Na-kyung's arms slowly lowered. Seeing that, Ye Sa-ra's heart beat even more violently.
It's not too late. If I go now, right now, it'll be fine.
It felt as if she were persuading me.
Why?
I asked.
There was no proper answer. Had Ye Sa-ra's personality not fully returned, and was it just the body, the heart, the lingering memories in the brain trying to seize control?
But strangely enough, I felt like I could understand that wordless persuasion.
Because she was my only person.
The one I had seen and lived my life for—
the only person who reacted to me, the only one who felt like a real person.
The only person I could feel emotions for.
.......
Yes.
Now... I felt like I understood.
Despite owning so much money, despite the bright and promising future unfolding outside this cage, I felt like I finally understood why Ye Sa-ra had chosen to die.
......What had Ye Sa-ra's suicide note said again?
If only you would love me.
So that my death could wound you.
Yes, that was it.
It was meant literally.
Regardless of whether Ye Sa-ra escaped the cage, lived on, or died—whatever she did.
For Ye Sa-ra, from the very beginning, there had only ever been one important person. Her treasured person, and her hated person—all just one person.
Money? That was meaningless. Because only one person held meaning.
The one who, in her childhood, had firmly protected her from everyone who tried to use her,
who had made her childhood beautiful, who had showered her with love in place of the mother she couldn't even remember,
and yet who had imprisoned her in this jail, destroyed all her human relationships, robbed her of an ordinary life, and stolen and trampled upon her emotions and dreams.
Time and again, just when she was about to grow accustomed to everything she had lost, that 'Mother' would come and pour out love upon her.
To Ye Sa-ra, the person Choi Na-kyung was 'just one.' The one and only, irreplaceable person in the world.
Ye Sa-ra had already shattered into pieces long before I entered this body, long before she swallowed a handful of pills.
......Still, I have one wish. Please, Mother, love me. Love me as much as I loved you when I was little......
Ye Sa-ra had always been sincere.
She had truly meant to die and leave an unforgettable scar on that woman she both loved and hated,
to remain forever in her heart; that was literal.
*
"......."
The three girls held their breath as they saw Ye Sa-ra enter the reception room in a white dress.
Her outfit, as if she could walk down the wedding aisle at any moment, looked so breathtakingly beautiful that anyone would fall for her.
And so, they hoped that Ye Sa-ra would not go into Choi Na-kyung's arms.
If she went into Choi Na-kyung's arms wearing that dress, Ye Sa-ra looked as if she would never come back. That was the feeling.
Even though the person waiting for her was her adoptive mother.
......This isn't normal.
Among the three sitting on the sofa, there wasn't a single one who didn't think that.
Yu Ha-neul, who had been suspicious early on,
Shin So-hee, who had felt a bit relieved knowing that 'Chairwoman' meant 'Mother',
and Lee Su-a, who had suspected from the start that something was wrong with the household.
They could all clearly recognize that this situation was definitely wrong.
That woman is dangerous.
And Sara, looking at that woman, was also clearly in a dangerous state.
Everyone watched Sara take a step.
With trembling steps, as if she didn't know whether she should or shouldn't, she moved forward one step at a time. She looked unsteady as if she wanted to go but couldn't, and also precarious as if she didn't want to go but was being forced.
And for some reason, it felt like they shouldn't interfere.
They knew it was wrong. They were watching it right now.
But somehow, it also looked like a sacred ritual.
They didn't know how many long years they had been doing this, but it was a ceremony that had continued for a very long time, only between the Chairwoman and Ye Sa-ra.
"......."
But now, Sara was denying that ritual with her whole body.
Shaking like an aspen, she forced herself to take one more step.
She wants to go, but she mustn't.
As if she knew that, Sara kept moving, forcing herself, pushing forward little by little.
The smile on Choi Na-kyung's face, her arms spread wide, gradually faded. Her raised arms slowly lowered.
Sara's steps came to a complete stop at that point.
And then, like a puppet with its strings cut, Sara collapsed to her knees right there.
"Sara!"
The first to jump up at that sight was Yu Ha-neul.
Without a moment's hesitation, Yu Ha-neul rushed to Sara, who was slumped on the floor with her shoulders drooping, on her knees. Yet even as she ran over, she couldn't easily bring herself to touch Sara. She just sat beside her at a slight distance, anxiously calling her name over and over.
Sara didn't stir.
She just sat there, her vacant pupils lowered to the floor, completely still.
No one knew why it had happened.
Even Choi Na-kyung, who must have seen Sara countless times before, didn't seem to know.
"......."
Silence hung in the air for a long while.
Choi Na-kyung rose from her seat.
Her movement was soundless, but everyone in the room turned to look at her.
Choi Na-kyung stood up from the chair and stood still for a while, expressionlessly looking down at Sara.
Then she turned her gaze to Yu Ha-neul, who was sitting beside her.
Yu Ha-neul looked back at Choi Na-kyung.
Choi Na-kyung wasn't glaring.
She simply looked at Yu Ha-neul, silently, just quietly.
The corners of her mouth were raised. But no one could think she was smiling.
Choi Na-kyung's gaze also swept once over Shin So-hee and Lee Su-a, who were still frozen on the sofa.
Her gaze didn't change. That bizarre atmosphere, smiling yet expressionless, a face that felt both beautiful and filled with an ugly desire, passed over the three of them.
As if confirming something to herself.
"......."
Soon, she began to walk. Her steps were directed at the door that was still open.
The steps that had been unwavering at first paused once in front of Sara.
Sara's head, which had been hanging limply like a puppet with cut strings, slowly lifted to look up at Choi Na-kyung standing before her.
"......."
No words were exchanged between them. Just two hollow gazes that lingered on each other for a while.
No, perhaps they were both pleading in their own way.
But perhaps those feelings didn't get through.
Choi Na-kyung resumed walking. This time, she didn't slow down or hesitate at all.
Sara just hung her head again, listening to the sound of her footsteps.
The footsteps receded, and the door slid shut.
Yu Ha-neul lifted her hand toward Sara, but then withdrew it without touching.
Today, Sara had given up something important.
She had a guess as to what that was.
But she couldn't even imagine just how important it had been.
So she could only sit beside her, endlessly, just like that.