Chapter 182
Chapter 182
Pathetic.
Absolutely pathetic.
Yang Hye-in thought so even as she carried the trash out.
This was not the sort of thing she should have gotten angry about in the first place. If she had simply and quietly done as Sara said, she would not be in this situation, would not be feeling this discomfort.
This situation was entirely her own fault, the result of stubbornly clinging to the end.
Yes, she knew that.
Yang Hye-in was not someone Sara particularly needed.
She had not saved Sara's life the way those friends had, nor had she become a particularly useful maid.
Before, she had even been one of the parasites eating away at Sara's life.
By the time she started helping, it was already far too late.
Even if Yang Hye-in quit right this moment, Sara would not go hungry, would not lack someone to look after her, would not fall into hardship.
Yes, she knew that.
She knew it all too well.
But she could not bring herself to give up.
This was because of Yang Hye-in's own selfishness.
That selfish desire to unburden her heart, somehow.
And so, even knowing full well that the other party did not consider her necessary, she kept clinging on, ugly and desperate.
"......."
Ugly.
She felt ugly and repulsive like this.
Sara had everything, so she had reassured herself that it was fine if the child had struggled a little in her early years —and then she, the very person who had driven a child to the brink of death, who had received no punishment and was still walking around perfectly fine, felt utterly vile.
......She had put the trash where it belonged, but she had no idea where to put herself.
In the end, she was no different from what sat there —just another unnecessary person.
She had graduated from a good university, landed a job at a good place, and then deliberately chose a position that did not require her abilities at all. She picked it simply because it paid well.
At that job, even while thinking she did not like her coworkers, even while thinking the person who had hired her was a chilling presence, she went along with what they did.
During all that time, not once did she consider revealing the truth to the outside world.
She simply coasted along, reassuring herself that this comfortable, high-paying job would not be taken away by Sara.
And the result was —
"......."
Yang Hye-in bent forward.
Resting her hands on her knees, she steadied her breathing for a moment.
Her chest felt tight.
I'm sorry. Truly sorry.
She thought she had committed a sin worthy of death. Thought she had to repay it, somehow.
But how?
What could she possibly repay, and how, to someone who had everything? How could she earn forgiveness from someone who did not need her?
......In the end, even thinking this way was nothing more than Yang Hye-in's personal selfishness.
Yes, because from the start, 'Sara' had never cared whether Yang Hye-in apologized or not.
Yang Hye-in knew all too well that whatever she said now, none of it would be accepted.
Because this 'Sara' was someone who did not even need such a tool, even if Yang Hye-in tried to become a tool she could use freely.
"......."
How long had it been since she stepped outside the house?
She looked at her wristwatch. Only fifteen minutes had passed.
.......
She did not want to go back in.
But if she disappeared without a word, Sara would worry. She was that kind and good of a kid.
The reaction Sara had shown last night after hearing Yang Hye-in's story lingered in her chest.
The emotion Sara had displayed was pity.
Hearing about Yang Hye-in's past, hearing why she had not wanted to come here, Sara had sympathized and found it pitiful. That must have been why she had been unable to speak after listening to the story.
That must not happen.
Truthfully, saying such things was something she should not have done at all.
If Sara came to pity Yang Hye-in......
Then who would judge her?
*
The fact that the village had not changed was only on the surface. In reality, certain things had definitely changed.
Being a village nestled in the mountains of Gangwon-do, it seemed that people sometimes came to see the mountains. A few guesthouses had opened, and spaces had been made for those tourists to rest. There was one small park, likely built with local government funds, and Yang Hye-in sat on a bench there, idly passing the time.
How much time had passed?
Still, it must have been far more than fifteen minutes. But she could not bring herself to check her watch. If she looked and found that only five minutes had passed since then, the prospect ahead would feel too bleak.
She truly had to go now.
But she did not want to go.
Inside Yang Hye-in, those two feelings crashed violently against each other.
Erasing her expression was easy. She had always done that. But calming her heart into stillness was far too difficult.
She was turning it over yet again when,
"Big Sister Hye-in."
A voice called out from the distance.
Hearing that voice, Yang Hye-in rose to her feet. She drew a breath, careful not to let the other person notice, and slowly let it out.
Then she turned toward the source of that familiar voice.
"Young lady."
"I asked you not to call me that here."
Sara glared at Yang Hye-in with dagger eyes as she said it.
"Even if we're outside the house, it's still the same village, isn't it? If the elders around here catch you, it'll reach my grandmother's ears too."
"......I apologize."
"Haa."
Hearing Yang Hye-in apologize, Sara let out a deep sigh and ran a hand down her face.
The sight filled Yang Hye-in with such regret that all she could do was stand there in silence.
"For now...... well, fine."
After a long silence, Sara spoke, then pointed at the very bench where Yang Hye-in had been sitting moments ago.
"Sit back down. I have things to say too."
"......Yes."
"No, the formal speech...... ugh, never mind, just sit."
Yang Hye-in decided to comply.
Once she sat back down on the bench, Sara sat beside her as well. Though unlike when she sat with her friends, she kept a slight distance. Which was only natural.
"Just now, I talked with your grandmother."
She had expected that. It had been obvious that Sara had deliberately gone inside alone.
What had they talked about? Perhaps they had discussed that money, close to 1.5 billion won.
The money she had sent to support her grandmother, then taken back because she thought she had to help Sara.
"Do you know what your grandmother said?"
At Sara's question, Yang Hye-in thought for a moment, then shook her head.
Anything could have been said. At least from what Yang Hye-in remembered of her childhood, her grandmother was not the sort to hold her tongue.
But what she heard from Sara was different.
"That her granddaughter is such a good kid, always kind and dutiful, and takes incredibly good care of her too."
"......."
"That there's no devoted daughter like her anywhere else."
"......."
Yang Hye-in could not say a word.
"What do you think I thought when I heard that?"
"......."
Yang Hye-in shook her head once more.
"Ah, if I'd had a grandmother like that, I wouldn't have even thought about going to Seoul. That's what I thought."
"......."
Yang Hye-in bowed her head deeply.
"So it was eating at me so much that I came to ask you myself. Be honest with me. How long has it been since you last came down here?"
"......I came down once in high school, and not since."
"See."
Sara heaved another sigh heavy enough to crater the ground.
"And your paychecks —what did you usually do with them? You couldn't have kept it all for yourself."
"......Most of it, I sent to my grandmother."
"And then recently, because of me, you took that money back?"
"......That is correct."
"......."
Sara pressed her thumb and forefinger against the bridge of her nose once more.
"You wanted to be helpful to me that badly? Enough to neglect your own life and your family?"
"......."
"No, but if I say you did it because of me, I can't really scold you for it. Honestly. It's ridiculous."
Yang Hye-in truly had nothing to say.
She was only sorry, and sorry again.
"......Don't be sorry toward me."
Sara spoke to Yang Hye-in in that state.
"Feel sorry toward your grandmother."
"......Understood."
It was over.
It seemed this was the end.
Sara, in the end, was going to...... put an end to her relationship with Yang Hye-in, it seemed.
She really should have quietly obeyed when she was told to take the vacation.
"......And."
But it seemed Sara still had more to say.
Having opened her mouth, Sara was silent for a long while, and then,
"For saving me back then —thank you."
She brought those words out.
"......Pardon?"
"You were helpful. And you're still being helpful now."
"......."
Yang Hye-in, for once, stared at Sara with her mouth hanging dumbly open.
"This is something 'I' am saying, so listen clearly."
Sara put emphasis on the word 'I.'
"I mean 'me.' Not 'that person' who was speaking with you, Ms. Yang Hye-in, just a while ago. The me you tormented."
"......."
"What, is it strange to switch places so easily like this? Ah, that's a hassle so I'll explain later."
Clearing her throat with an ahem, Sara continued,
"If you truly want to help me, then help. I'll give you the chance until you've worked off all your guilt. Help me until your body breaks, until the point where I can acknowledge it. But,"
In a voice full of strength,
"But, even so, take care of yourself. It's not like I'm trying to pile more guilt onto you. If you want to help properly, then do it properly —make sure the person receiving that help doesn't end up feeling guilty. Take care of your family too."
That was what she said.
"......."
And those words were so unbearably grateful that,
"......Thank you."
All Yang Hye-in could do was turn toward Sara and bow her head, deeply, deeply.
So that Sara would not see her eyes glistening with tears.
......So that there would be no more guilt to carry.