Chapter 136
Chapter 136
It was only embarrassing the first time.
When she'd asked Sara to dry her hair, it had been overwhelmingly embarrassing. But looking back, that was because it wasn't just Lee Su-a who felt that way; Sara had been just as flustered. Embarrassment was always amplified more by the other person's awareness of you than by your own awareness of them.
But this 'Sara' right now was completely unfazed by Lee Su-a's body.
Seeing it like this, the difference in reaction between Sara and 'Sara' was unmistakable.
Yes, 'Sara' blushed at actions that were clearly not things friends did. But when it came to actions she considered acceptable between friends, she was completely at ease.
Linking arms from the side, getting hugged by Su-a or So-hee, even lying in the same bed and sleeping.
That reaction was clearly different from Sara, who would turn bright red and act like she had no idea what to do.
If it had been Sara and not 'Sara', they wouldn't be bathing together like this in the first place.
And strangely enough, 'Sara' and Sara themselves seemed entirely unaware of how different their reactions were.
"Sara."
While soaping up 'Sara's back, Lee Su-a spoke.
"Yeah?"
'Sara' replied.
"You know. That other Sara inside you."
"......Yeah."
A certain wariness crept into 'Sara's voice.
This reaction was telling. Whenever they talked about Sara, 'Sara' wore an intensely affectionate expression. Not like she was looking at another self, but like she was looking at another person.
Or perhaps, like she was looking at someone she admired.
Admiration was a feeling you could have for someone of the same sex, of course. Lee Su-a herself had felt that way toward Sara, and that admiration had developed into her current feelings.
......Yes. Admiration could develop. It could turn into that kind of feeling.
But normally, if you admired someone of the same sex, the odds of it growing into that kind of feeling were infinitesimally small. Most people, when it came to the same sex, never factored in the 'possibility' of becoming lovers to begin with.
For admiration to become romantic love, you first had to be someone capable of feeling that way toward the same sex.
But 'Sara' didn't really have that kind of sexual response toward other women. She didn't seem to hold any strong aversion either, but she also wasn't blatantly showing it the way So-hee or Ha-neul did.
So, that meant—
"Maybe... your genders are different from each other?"
"Wha—what!?"
'Sara' flinched and whipped around to face Lee Su-a.
Lee Su-a wasn't sure how that could work either.
But she'd heard that in cases of people who claimed to have multiple personalities, or who suffered from that kind of illness, the personalities often had different genders. Not just gender—different personal histories, favorite foods, people they disliked, even academic backgrounds and such.
Of course, none of that could be literally true. Since there was only one body, there could only be one past, and even if a personality claimed to be a doctorate holder, they weren't a doctor if they lacked the actual knowledge and credentials. She had even heard of cases where personalities outright hated and fought each other.
The difference between 'Sara' and Sara wasn't that extreme, but—
Even in their case, it wasn't as if there were no such examples.
Sara had wanted to go on rides. That was probably just her personality. But 'Sara's body didn't agree with amusement park rides, so Sara couldn't properly enjoy them either.
If she had to pick the most divergent part of their personalities, Lee Su-a would point to that aspect.
"H-how did you come to that conclusion?"
Seeing Lee Su-a's calm expression, 'Sara' seemed to cool her head a little. She quickly turned back around and asked.
"Just... watching your reaction, that's how it seemed."
Even if it turned out that one of them wasn't a man, Sara clearly had more interest in women than in men. After all, she showed no real interest in her own fiancé or the senior who helped her out every day.
Regardless of personality, those two were famously handsome within the school.
"......."
'Sara' went quiet for a moment, then,
"I don't know either,"
she answered, her voice heavily laced with wariness.
I see.
But seeing that reaction, Lee Su-a became certain.
'Sara' and Sara were clearly separate entities.
The person Lee Su-a had first liked was Sara.
But that didn't mean she had any intention of denying 'Sara'.
Lee Su-a's relationship with Sara had only been possible because 'Sara' existed. Even if its beginning hadn't been a proper one, even if it had started from Lee Su-a's one-sided wrongdoing toward 'Sara' and the guilt that had come from that.
The truth was, the feelings Lee Su-a had when she'd approached Sara back then and asked her to take a photo—they clearly hadn't been feelings she could be proud of.
She'd felt sorry for 'Sara', as if she had to be the one to go and talk to her.
As if doing so might alleviate her guilt, just a little.
If she dug into those memories, the deepest layer of psychology at the bottom was exactly that.
......Lee Su-a still hadn't apologized.
Not for that moment, and not for everything before it either.
A truly sincere apology would probably take even longer than she'd thought.
But until the day she could make a proper apology, Lee Su-a intended to stay by 'Sara's side. And by Sara's.
"I see."
"......I didn't say anything."
But Lee Su-a couldn't hide the faint smile that settled on her lips.
Separate from the guilt, she felt a surge of happiness.
Unlike 'Sara', Sara was definitely interested in women.
And she had very clearly reacted to Lee Su-a's body.
That one point, as if telling her she still had a chance, let Lee Su-a relax ever so slightly.
*
"I'll head out first."
'Sara', who had been in the shower first, said. Earlier she had looked entirely unbothered in front of Lee Su-a, but not anymore. The desire to get away was palpable.
......It was true; she might have pried a little too far into personal territory.
Lee Su-a nodded.
"I'll finish washing up and come out."
'Sara' nodded and quickly left the bathroom. The sound of her towel-drying herself could be heard from the other side of the door.
"......."
Lee Su-a figured it was about time she finished washing up too.
A while later, Lee Su-a also emerged from the bathroom.
Outside, So-hee and Ha-neul were staring her way with wide eyes.
Neither of them seemed to have been back in the room for long.
'Sara' seemed a touch flustered by the two of them.
"W-why are the two of you coming out of there?"
"I-I mean, because we showered together......"
At So-hee's question, 'Sara' answered.
So-hee's face went pale at those words.
"Wh-why, what's wrong......?"
'Sara' asked back, growing more anxious.
It was a little strange to see Sara, who'd acted so confident in front of the teachers earlier today, reacting like that.
"Is it... not okay?"
'Sara' looked between Lee Su-a, So-hee, and Ha-neul as she asked.
"Of course it's not oka—"
So-hee started to snap, but then shut her mouth. She stared at Lee Su-a, who had followed 'Sara' out, and then,
"......It's... not not okay, right?"
she corrected herself quickly.
Yeah. Under normal circumstances this would be absolutely unthinkable. But if 'Sara' didn't think it was off-limits, then that meant So-hee or Ha-neul could get a chance next time.
"So... I'm just asking, just in case."
So-hee, who had been deep in thought for a moment, asked 'Sara'.
"You only washed up in there, right? Nothing else happened?"
Ha-neul put a hand to her forehead when she heard the question, but So-hee didn't seem to care.
"Is there something else you can even do in a bathroom?"
'Sara' asked back with an odd expression.
"Right? Totally obvious. A bathroom is for washing. Obviously there's nothing else you could do!"
At that answer, So-hee's face brightened instantly.
"Hey, Sara. Next time, go in with me. I mean, I might look like this, but I'm your personal maid, remember? I can get you squeaky clean!"
"Yeah? Uh, uhhh?"
When So-hee suddenly lunged forward and linked arms with her, 'Sara' was thrown into complete confusion. She wasn't just in a bath towel or anything, luckily, but some stray strands of hair from where it had been wrapped up in a towel slipped down her neck and clung to that white skin.
"S-sure......?"
At So-hee's aggressive appeal, 'Sara' ended up giving what sounded like an answer of acceptance.
In truth, she'd never had any particular reason to refuse from the start.
Just like she hadn't refused Lee Su-a.
That was it.
Lee Su-a still had a chance. To 'Sara', Ha-neul, Su-a, and So-hee were all the same friends.
Watching So-hee cheer and cling to 'Sara', Lee Su-a actually felt a bit more at ease.
......Although one corner of her mind did wonder if maybe she ought to be pulling her away.