Chapter 135
Chapter 135
Getting the teachers to sign the written pledge wasn't hard. Maybe they knew exactly where they stood—once one of them signed, the rest followed one by one.
How and how much they'll actually repay, I can't know yet. They might change their minds later and refuse to pay at all.
Well, I'll deal with that later. Honestly, just having to think about people like that rubbed me the wrong way from the start.
The reason that person still can't feel at ease is because 'I' haven't finished things yet. Whether I forgive those people or send them flying, I have to show proof that I'm satisfied before she can feel relieved.
Honestly, she was a person who required a lot of care in many ways.
Though I'm sure from her perspective, I'm the same.
I intend to cut ties with Mother as fast as possible. The people Mother has working inside the mansion will have to be rooted out in the long run, too. I don't really care what happens to me either way, but if people like that are still working here, it's going to be uncomfortable for her.
Or should I just sell the mansion and move into a slightly smaller place?
Honestly, I'd be happy with just my own room. Whether the house is big or small, I'll be with that person inside me, so what's the problem?
A space where I can be with the friends who stop by now and then; that would be enough.
"And what's left is... 'getting along comfortably with the other kids,' huh?"
This one feels a little harder.
Because I don't know how to be comfortable around other people. Actually, I already felt like I had enough people around me.
"So, I feel a little bad for you guys, but it looks like I'll have to stay here for a while."
Well, this is also something I can get through by just killing a little time. When that person is inside me, at least, I have a clear upper hand. Whether I actually get along well with the other kids or not, she has no way of knowing.
I didn't put 'not getting along' on the list of options. Making an enemy out of a kid I go to school with would only make her worry. It would also undo what she's done for me.
But that doesn't mean I have any intention of actively trying to 'get along well' either.
I just need to pass the time appropriately, then when we meet in a dream later, I can tell her I'm doing fine and that I'm grateful.
"I don't mind."
That day, in the room after school, So-hee said it. I'd easily predicted she would.
"No matter who you are on the inside, you're still Sara, aren't you?"
"......."
Every time I heard that, a corner of my chest tickled.
It wasn't just because I could feel how purely So-hee liked me. More than that, it was because 'both me and that person are the same Sara'—that fact felt good in all sorts of ways.
"I don't mind either. You, and that girl, you're both my friends."
......Well, when she says 'friends,' the meaning lands a little differently, but still.
Though, like Ha-neul said herself: even if we say 'friends,' the attitude can all be different. They did see each other as rivals in love, but Ha-neul was still on my side.
"......."
Su-a seemed deep in thought about something; she didn't seem to have heard me.
"......."
For a moment, the room fell silent.
It wasn't an unpleasant, heavy silence. More like we'd just stopped talking for a moment... I've never had friends before, so I'm not quite sure.
After that short silence, So-hee clapped her hands together.
"Was today the day 'Sara' showers first?"
Since the three of us always shared the room and Ha-neul regularly came over to sleep, there was apparently an unspoken order for showering. The kind where they rotated who went first each day.
Today, I was the first one up.
"Then, you go first."
I nodded at So-hee's words and stood up. Even as I walked into the shower room, there wasn't really any conversation back and forth.
*
When did I start showering alone?
I don't know how it is for other people, but I think I started showering alone when I was nine. After my father passed away and Mother left me in this mansion, I had to do everything alone.
Ah, maybe not 'everything.'
The things absolutely necessary for me to survive were still done for me by other people.
I never had to do the laundry or cooking or dishes. Even things like cleaning weren't something I did.
In a way, maybe that made me feel even more alone.
Before I was nine, I have memories of showering with Mother. Cleaning my room, kneading dough... memories like that are scattered among the early childhood memories I can barely recall now.
But ever since then, I couldn't do anything with anyone.
There was nothing I needed to do on my own, and no reason to.
I was just alive here.
"......."
Well, at least now I'm not alone. I guess that's a relief.
......I know that those girls like me. Or that person.
But I don't think I'll be with them forever. Even if they like me now, I always thought I wouldn't be able to stay with them for years or decades.
At least I thought we wouldn't keep eating and sleeping together like this.
But it's fine.
"Yeah, it's fine."
I placed a hand over my chest.
I could feel my heart beating.
A heart that stopped once, but started beating again because of that person.
Even if years pass, even if decades pass, I'm with her.
Now, forever, I don't need to be lonely and alone.
I stood there for a while, letting the shower water hit me, lost in thought—
Bang.
"Eek!?"
The shower room door behind me suddenly flew open, and I let out a noise I couldn't help.
I turned around, and Su-a was standing there.
Her hair, which she usually tied into twin tails, was let down. I'd always thought she seemed super bubbly on the outside but had a slightly timid personality, but now this look actually suited Su-a much better.
Su-a's face was deeply flushed, and she had a towel wrapped around her body.
"Su, Su-a......?"
When I asked, caught off guard, Su-a lifted her downcast eyes and looked at me.
"S-Sara."
"Y-Yeah?"
"Is it okay if I shower with you?"
"Uh......"
All of a sudden?
No, more importantly, if Su-a was coming in like this, had Ha-neul and So-hee really stayed quiet? With their personalities, I'd have expected them to either stop her or insist on coming in too, so all three of them would end up in here.
Though if all three came in, the shower room would feel awfully cramped.
"Uh... sure."
But I also figured it wouldn't really matter.
We're both girls anyway.
The bathhouse has a women's bath, and the locker rooms are divided by gender. If you can change clothes in the same place, then isn't a shower something you can do together?
So, I nodded. Seeing that, Su-a gave me a soft smile. Her face was still flushed like she was embarrassed.
*
Lee Su-a barely had any time alone with 'Sara.'
No, it'd be more accurate to say she barely had any time alone with just the two of them. If you counted being together, they slept in the same bed every day.
Ha-neul seemed to often have one-on-one talks with Sara, or with 'Sara.' Apparently, during class, she would step outside with So-hee midway to talk.
She'd never seen So-hee have a one-on-one talk with Sara, but So-hee talked with Sara without caring who else was around. She wasn't the type to care much about other people's eyes in the first place. Lee Su-a was a little envious of that.
Lee Su-a also wanted to talk one-on-one with Sara, just like them. But whenever she thought about it, she couldn't bring herself to ask the other two to make room. It was because of what she had done to 'Sara' in the past, and because she knew exactly how much more confidently those two could stand before 'Sara' compared to her.
The chance came to her through sheer coincidence.
"Miss Shin So-hee."
"Ah, yes!"
"Could you help me with something for a moment?"
"Yes!"
Yang Hye-in came and took So-hee away for some reason.
"Huh."
And Ha-neul got a phone call.
"What's up?"
Diligent Ha-neul always let her parents know first before she slept over. And since her parents trusted Ha-neul, they apparently didn't check in separately.
But today, Ha-neul got a call.
"Ah, sorry, I'll go take this call real quick."
Maybe she felt bad about leaving Lee Su-a all alone in the room. Ha-neul said that to her.
When Lee Su-a nodded, Ha-neul left the room, too.
And that's how Lee Su-a ended up alone inside the room.
"......."
As she sat there in a brief daze, the sound of 'Sara' showering reached her ears.
And then, the thought crossed Lee Su-a's mind.
A moment where she could be alone with Sara.
Lee Su-a impulsively got to her feet.